Book SummaryThe Way Of The Superior Man, by David Deida

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Way Of The Superior Man

David Deida, an expert in sexual and spiritual growth, teaches you to become a Superior Man by learning to be authentic. In the process, you’ll find and prioritize your purpose, understand and fulfill the needs of your woman, discipline your desires and insist on growth, and embrace and channel your attraction to the feminine.

Be Who You Are

The first key to becoming a Superior Man is authenticity, and the Superior Man knows there’s no better time to live authentically than right now. He doesn’t wait for his finances to be more secure, for his children to move out, or for his woman to change—he’s willing to do what’s necessary to give his fullest gift in every moment.

You have a unique gift to share, and you can’t fulfill your greatest potential if you never try. In this section, you’ll learn how to embrace and embody your true, masculine self, so you can channel your energy into giving your greatest gift, today.

Maintain Your Fullest Consciousness

Approach everything openly, wholeheartedly, and lovingly; this is how you give your fullest gifts without regret. It’s satisfying to give your best, and that satisfaction lets you engage more fully because you’re not distracted by a feeling that you’re wasting your time. Being open allows you to discover your deepest truth.

Stay conscious and open at all times, especially when faced with pain. When you retreat into your shell, you become blind to the subtle clues and nuances of a situation and are unable to act with your fullest intelligence. The Superior Man stays open to ensure he can respond with wisdom, humor, and love, instead of fear and defensiveness. Remain open by standing straight and breathing deep into your belly, opening the front of your body and making unguarded eye contact.

Accept and Face Your Fears

The Superior Man is trustworthy and inspirational because he knows what he fears and leans into it, sharing his gift anyway. His freedom comes from acknowledging, sharing, and facing his fear. Your greatest opportunity for growth lies at the edge of your fear. Speak your fear, describe your limit aloud, and proceed regardless of your fear and uncertainty. When others see you retreat from your fears and hide them, they lose trust in you. They know a man who lies to himself is likely to lie to them, too.

Ask your friends to challenge you; be open and honest with them about your fears, your struggles, and your situation. Have them identify specific ways in which you could improve, and take their criticism as guidance.

Release Your Inhibitions

The Superior Man prioritizes his own purpose; he does not allow the expectations of others to sway him from his path. Shame, guilt, and expectation limit you, burdening you with feelings of fear and unworthiness.

Many men find that their deepest shame arises from the suppression of their sexual desire. As a masculine man, your natural desire is to ravish. You derive pleasure from releasing your woman from everything that blocks her ability to surrender fully to your love; from “taking” and filling her, body and soul.

This is your role in the polarity of sex, and when you suppress this desire you become unable to fulfill it lovingly. You turn to violent pornography and fantasies of rape, and your shame prevents you from fully engaging in your woman’s sexual surrender. Instead, give up your ego—release your inhibitions and, focusing on what your woman is feeling, give her everything you want to give. Ravish her with abandon, and give her the space to let her desires take you places you’d never have gone otherwise.

Live With Purpose

The Superior Man knows his priorities and pursues his purpose. In this section, you’ll learn the difference in priority between feminine and masculine, why you need a purpose and how to find it, and why you should prioritize it.

Seek Release, Let Her Seek Fullness

As men, we’re driven to pursue freedom—to push through all forms of constraint, release ourselves, and experience the total freedom of complete emptiness. Our deepest motivation is to face death and overcome it.

To be free, break your attachment to comfort and security. Your fear of surrendering your independent self is the death you must face to achieve the freedom of total one-ness.

Women are driven to pursue love—their path to fullness is surrender, rather than release. In sex, their desire is to be filled, connected, unified, and made whole. That’s why they’re disappointed when you stop holding them after your orgasm; you’ve achieved the freedom of release, but she’s achieved the fullness of surrender and wants to remain One.

Your truest release and her greatest fullness rest at the cores of your being. In discovering and embodying your truest selves, you attain your greatest freedom and she achieves her greatest love. Until you relax into your cores, she’ll always seek to fill herself and you’ll always seek release.

Be True to Yourself

The Superior Man’s focus is on growth—he charts the course so others can follow, trusting the stability of his wisdom and the openness of his heart.

The journey of life is about constantly discovering deeper truths and consistently re-evaluating and reorganizing yourself around them. Live from the stable internal core of your being instead of focusing yourself around your daily tasks and responsibilities.

It’s good to be disciplined and purposeful in daily life, but when it disconnects you from your larger purpose you lose your freedom and perspective. When you know your core and are aligned with it, everything you do becomes an expression of your purpose. Your work and your intimacy become opportunities to give your fullest gifts and to enjoy the act of giving.

Your priority at all times should be to be who you are at your deepest level; you’ll only have the energy to love fully if you’re not wasting it by struggling with dissatisfaction.

**How to find...

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Introduction

As men and women have gained equality, the benefits have come at a price.

In an effort to land in a neutral middle, men diminish their masculinity, and women diminish their femininity. We feel uneasy about who we are and how we should be, so we’re driven by discomfort and fear. When we suppress a core aspect of ourselves, we become unable to be genuine and open, so we can’t relax into the fullness of love. Neutralizing our essence diminishes our intimacy, our sense of purpose, and our ability to connect with our internal selves.

David Deida, who conducts spiritual growth and intimacy workshops and has published 10 books in 25 languages, tells us that sexual polarity is the force of passion that arcs, almost magnetically, between masculine and...

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 1: Be Who You Are

The Superior Man knows there’s no better time to live authentically than right now. He doesn’t wait for his finances to be more secure, for his children to move out, or for his woman to change—he’s willing to do what’s necessary to give his fullest gift in every moment. Men who live significant lives don’t wait.

You have a unique gift to share, and you can’t fulfill your greatest potential if you never try. In this section, we’ll explore the masculine core, and you’ll learn how to embrace and embody your true, masculine self, so you can channel your energy into giving your greatest gift, today.

Engage Wholeheartedly With Woman and World

Engaging halfheartedly leads to conflict and dissatisfaction—we feel incomplete when we settle for “enough” rather than pushing for the limit of what we can achieve.

The Superior Man approaches all situations in the same way: openly, lovingly, and wholeheartedly. This is how he achieves superior results in all that he does.

Instead of giving your woman just enough that she achieves orgasm, give her everything you’ve got, and approach the world in the same way. Always embrace your desire to discover your deepest truth, to enjoy...

Shortform Exercise: Live Fully, Today

Spend at least an hour every day this week doing one of these things, despite your duties and constraints. Give your fullest gift today so you can go to bed knowing that you lived with the maximum amount of creativity, courage, and giving.

List at least three things you love doing, that you can engage fully in, which give you a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Shortform Exercise: Accept and Face Your Fear

Find the limit at which you begin to fear, and live just beyond the edge of it; the Superior Man compassionately challenges his limits without trying to escape the fear itself.

In what ways are you failing to live the fullest life that’s currently available to you? What are you yearning for, but not acting on?

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 2: Live With Purpose

Now that you’re committed to being who you are, you can embark on a purposeful life. In this section, we’ll explore the importance of living with purpose, what that means, and where it belongs in your list of priorities.

Know That You Yearn for Emptiness, She Yearns for Fullness

The Superior Man understands what drives him and what drives his woman, and he uses that understanding to optimize his pursuit of their joint purpose.

The masculine seeks freedom in release from constraint and stress.

Men are driven to pursue freedom—to push through all forms of constraint, release ourselves, and experience the total freedom of complete emptiness. Our deepest motivation is to face death and overcome it.

We see this in football: Our goal is to push through the constraint of our opponents and carry the ball to freedom. In war, we face death in service of a higher cause, giving our all for the sake of freedom. Even our orgasm is a slow build-up of tension until the moment of release frees us and empties us, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

To be free, you must face your fears and give up anything that limits your ability to love. Your attachment...

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 3: Understand Your Woman

You’ve now explored your masculine core. In this section, you’ll explore the feminine mindset, learn to understand the meaning behind your woman’s words and complaints, and discover how to share your masculine gifts with her.

Treat Woman and World as You Wish Them to Be

The more familiar you become with your woman and your world, the more your desire and interest in them wane; the excitement of discovery fades, and they become lifeless and unattractive.

A mediocre man would move on, to a new job and a new mistress, rejuvenating his life with fresh energy, excitement, and polarization. But, eventually, the novelty wears off and he finds himself once again inhabiting a lifeless, unattractive world.

Your loss of interest is not the fault of your career, nor is it the fault of your woman. It stems from your lack of whole-hearted engagement; how can you expect to be excited and delighted by something you don’t fully embrace? Your familiarity has led you to stop ravishing them, depolarizing your relationship.

A Superior man takes responsibility for his mindset and rises to the challenge, knowing his woman and his world can only look as bright as he’s willing to see them....

Shortform Exercise: Praise Your Woman

The feminine side of your woman thrives on praise and support; this is the gift you can give to help her grow into more fully being her best self.

List two or three specific traits you love about your woman.

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 4: Manage Your Relationship

In this section, we’ll explore the differences in priority between masculine and feminine, and what your responsibilities are in your relationship.

Encourage the Difference in Your Priorities

A masculine man’s primary goal will always be his mission, and a feminine woman’s primary goal will always be to maximize the flow of love in her life—this asymmetry can be a major cause of strife.

The Superior Man understands the difference in his and his woman’s core needs and adjusts their relationship to encourage those differences and promote mutual growth.

Though you’re equal, you’re not the same; for your relationship to best serve you and your woman, you must support each other in the pursuit of your distinct priorities.

The intimacy between you will give you what you want only if you’re both fulfilled in the way you most need to be. And when you are, your intimacy will carry you even beyond the hope of joy your relationship represents, into the utter ecstasy of being, existing, and living—genuinely, fully, and openly.

What to Do:

Your relationship with your woman will always be a primary determinant of her mood, unless she rejects her feminine core—in which case...

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 5: Channel the Energy of Attraction

Attraction is crucial to living your purpose, both within your relationship and outside of it. In this section, we’ll discuss the rejuvenating energy of attraction, what women have to offer you, and how to choose the right woman for you.

Embrace Your Attraction and Inhale It

As a masculine man, your attraction to the feminine is natural and inevitable. What attracts you to women is more than their outward beauty; it’s their radiance, their liveliness, and their freedom.

When we learn that our attraction to the feminine is unacceptable or evil, we learn to deny and suppress our masculine energy.

There’s more in the world that’s feminine than just women; nature, beer, music—anything beautiful, energetic, moving, and relaxing embodies the feminine essence. Even now, you’re floating in an ocean of feminine energy. It’s life in all forms; the breath in your lungs, the beating of your heart in your chest, the breeze in the trees, and the vibrancy of nature.

When you reject feminine energy, you become tired, dried out, and lonely; you begin to complain that life is not fulfilling and that there are no good women.

The Superior Man embraces his attraction to all that is...

The Way Of The Superior Man Summary Part 6: Master Physical and Sexual Practices

In this section, we’ll discuss the goal of sexual intimacy, your role in it, and what you can do to give your greatest sexual gift.

Channel Your Energy Through Your Breath

The Superior Man releases the tension of others by releasing his own, through them, and sharing his gift of openness with the world. In this section, you’ll learn how to use your breath to channel your energy.

Breathe Into Your Tension

As you move through your day, facing fear, sadness, uncertainty, and stress, the front of your body tightens. When you think hard, your forehead wrinkles; when you feel threatened, your solar plexus gets queasy; when you’re nervous, your stomach becomes tight. As this continues from day to day, you begin to curl into yourself—you hunch forward, grit your teeth, and your breathing shallows. Your thoughts become centered on yourself, your energy becomes constricted, and your presence shrinks into your body.

Much of your energetic power rests in your belly and abdomen; to unlock it, focus on your breath. Through conscious breathing, you can release the fear and anxiety that accumulate in your body as tension.

What to Do:

As you curl into yourself, you...