Book SummaryThe Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Gift of Fear

Your intuition is trying to keep you safe, but are you listening? In The Gift of Fear, security specialist Gavin de Becker contends that violence is a normal part of human nature, not an abnormality, and that we often misunderstand and fail to protect ourselves from it. He asserts that we all possess the innate ability to detect warning signs of danger before it happens—known as our intuition. However, we often ignore intuition in favor of logic, which leaves us more vulnerable to dangers. By learning to identify warning signs and trust your intuition, you can better manage your safety and be more prepared for dangerous...

The Gift of Fear Summary Understanding Violence

To be able to predict and protect yourself from violence, you must first understand it. De Becker writes that there are several misconceptions about violence that make you more vulnerable to it. (Shortform note: De Becker doesn’t directly specify what kind of violence he covers in the book, but his ideas mainly focus on physical violence—someone wanting to cause you physical harm.)

The Misconceptions About Violence

The first misconception is we often assume we can rely entirely on others, like law enforcement, to keep us safe. However, de Becker argues that your safety is your responsibility. Relying solely on others to protect you from danger gives you a false sense of security and increases your risk of becoming a victim of violence.

(Shortform note: Many self-defense experts suggest you take charge of your own protection by developing situational awareness. One technique is a color-coded system that categorizes different levels of alertness, from "white" (completely unaware) to "red" (fight mode). They recommend you try to...

The Gift of Fear Summary The Power of Your Intuition

Imagine you’re walking along a forest trail at night. Suddenly, you get a feeling that you should turn back. This feeling is your intuition. Although you can’t consciously explain why, your subconscious has picked up on signals that have made you uneasy—like the sound of sticks cracking or shifting shadows in the trees.

De Becker argues that to predict danger and violence, you must learn to listen to your intuition. He explains that your intuition is a powerful survival tool honed by millions of years of evolution. You’ve been biologically programmed to detect signs of danger and to avoid it—it’s the very instinct that allowed your ancestors to avoid threats.

However, de Becker writes that we often block our intuition from doing its job. Many of us are reluctant to follow our intuition because we rely too heavily on logic. When we experience a gut feeling—like sudden unease or fear—we rush to find reasons to discredit it. For example, you might ignore a gut feeling telling you to leave a date early because you don’t want to be rude, dismissing the feeling as just nerves.

De Becker contends that putting logic before intuition prevents you from recognizing danger. He...

The Gift of Fear Summary Methods for Predicting and Assessing Violence

Now that we’ve broken down the common misconceptions about violence and discussed the importance of trusting your intuition, let’s discuss several methods for predicting, assessing, and responding to violence.

Warning Signs of Violence

According to de Becker, strangers who intend to do you harm often display warning signs that you can recognize to protect yourself. While these warning signs don’t guarantee that someone has bad intentions, be cautious if a person exhibits any of the following seven behaviors:

1. Creating common ground. People with bad intentions may try to create a shared experience with you to gain your trust. They’ll often use the word “we” to suggest that you’re in the same situation together. For example, if you’re waiting for a bus that’s running late, they might say something like, “Well, it looks like we're in for a wait.”

(Shortform note: This tactic of creating common ground is effective because humans have a natural instinct to trust others. In The Confidence Game, Maria Konnikova...

The Gift of Fear Summary Preventing and Responding to Different Forms of Violence

Now that we’ve discussed ways to predict, avoid, and respond to violence in a general sense, let’s explore strategies for preventing and reacting to different forms of violence: workplace violence, domestic violence, stalking, youth-related violence, and violence against public figures.

Workplace Violence

De Becker writes that violence in the workplace—physical attacks that occur in a work setting—can be prevented. He argues that workplace violence often happens because companies lack proper hiring practices and overlook early warning signs of violent behavior. To prevent this type of violence, de Becker provides the following tips for companies:

1. Conduct background checks. Many companies fail to thoroughly research the backgrounds of the people they hire. To avoid employing potentially dangerous individuals, use background checks and verify the information that applicants provide during the hiring process.

How to Conduct a Background Check

When conducting a background check like de Becker recommends, you can either hire a professional service or do it yourself. If you choose to do it yourself, [consider the following...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on Your Experiences With Intuition

De Becker emphasizes the importance of listening to your intuition as a powerful tool for predicting and avoiding danger. In this exercise, reflect on a personal experience where you felt uneasy or afraid, exploring how your intuition may have been trying to warn you.

Think of a specific time when you felt a strong sense of unease or fear in a situation, even if nothing bad actually happened. Describe the situation briefly, including where you were and who was involved.