Many negotiators think of a win-win deal—one in which both parties compromise so that both achieve at least some of their goals—as the best negotiation outcome. However, in Start With No, negotiation expert Jim Camp argues that more often than not, a so-called win-win is actually a win-lose in disguise because one party unknowingly concedes too much. To avoid these deals, he suggests you get comfortable saying “no” during your negotiations instead of trying to get to a quick yes. He further argues you should encourage your counterpart to say "no," as...
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Camp writes that many negotiators are too quick to say “yes” out of their eagerness to secure a deal and achieve a win-win outcome. But he warns that when you reach an agreement swiftly, you might overlook important details about the situation and leave value on the table. Camp argues that to get better deals, you must be willing to say “no.”
There are two things that saying “no” protects you from: the pitfalls of the win-win mindset and the dangers of appearing needy. Below, we’ll explore why each of these can result in a mediocre deal, and we’ll discuss how you can prevent them from harming your negotiations.
Camp argues that while the concept of win-win is appealing, it often leads to subpar deals: When you’re invested in getting a mutually beneficial outcome, you’re more likely to agree to deals quickly—deals that are often mediocre or poor.
Camp discusses four reasons the win-win approach makes you more likely to secure less favorable deals:
1. Unnecessary compromises: A win-win mindset can mislead you into thinking that you must give concessions to the other party to achieve a mutually beneficial deal, causing you to...
Camp writes that there’s another way you can employ “no” in a negotiation to further increase your power: Invite your counterpart to say “no.” While this may seem counterintuitive, he argues that encouraging your counterpart to say “no” can get you better deals because it signals that you’re not needy, lowers the other party’s defenses, encourages rational (instead of emotional) thinking, and invites further discussion.
(Shortform note: Inviting “no” may be especially important if your counterpart is what Chris Voss, in Never Split the Difference, calls a “Giver”. Voss defines three types of negotiators (Givers, Calculators, and Aggressors) and explains that Givers are people-pleasers who often agree to things they can’t follow through on because they want to make you happy. By helping Givers feel comfortable saying “no,” you can ensure that they’re not insincerely saying “yes” and that they’re agreeing to something they’ll deliver, leading to a more solid deal for both parties.)
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Now that you know the power of saying and inviting "no,” let’s dive into other negotiating techniques Camp recommends to keep emotions in check, make more logical decisions, and secure better deals.
Camp writes that to set yourself up for success, you must identify the purpose of your negotiation. A clear purpose provides you with direction, ensuring the decisions you make are focused and valuable. It also safeguards you from agreeing to a deal that you don’t actually want. He recommends you make it clear and concise, and that you write it down so you can reference it regularly.
When crafting your purpose, Camp suggests you:
1. Frame your goal to show how it will benefit the other party. For example, when negotiating a job offer, don’t make it your purpose to “secure a higher-paying job that advances my career.” A more effective purpose would be to "help the company see how my skills and experiences match their organization's objectives and the requirements of the open position."
(Shortform note: In *[How to Win Friends and Influence...
Camp argues that inviting “no” in negotiations helps you gain more insight into the other party’s position and concerns, leading to better, more solid agreements. Practice building your comfort with “no” and turning it into a constructive part of the negotiation process.
Describe a current or upcoming negotiation you’re involved in. What are you trying to get out of the negotiation? Who is the other party involved?
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