Book SummaryRising Strong, by Brené Brown

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Rising Strong

Brené Brown believes that the key to fulfillment is pursuing wholeheartedness—a way of life that fosters self-worth and emphasizes being brave, caring for yourself and others, and cultivating meaningful relationships. Living wholeheartedly requires you to embrace your authentic self and show that self to others.

However, being open and authentic with others makes you vulnerable. You may face painful experiences like rejection, loss, and heartbreak. If left unaddressed, these experiences cause emotional setbacks that keep you from living wholeheartedly. In Rising Strong, Brown explains that to live a fulfilling life, you must go through a recovery process whenever you experience emotional setbacks so you can again embrace your authentic self, be open with others, and cultivate wholeheartedness.

Brown is the author of numerous bestsellers, including The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, _Dare to Lead, [I Thought It Was Just Me (but it...

Rising Strong Summary Part 1: The Importance of the Recovery Process

Brown explains that emotional setbacks such as disappointment, grief, heartbreak, and failure are valuable, natural parts of life. Despite being painful, they’re an opportunity to develop emotional resilience, deepen your understanding of yourself and others, and grow. In turn, these benefits lead to a more stable state of wholeheartedness—but to reap them, you must confront your pain and undertake the process of recovery.

Brown says many people avoid confronting the recovery process and instead try to push through or ignore their pain. They do so because confronting strong emotions can be scary and painful. However, avoidance causes them to first repress their emotions, and then release them (often subconsciously) through unhealthy behaviors that harm themselves and others.

(Shortform note: Some psychologists note that cisgender men are more likely than women to repress their emotions. This is due to gender expectations that dictate men should be unemotional—part of an unhealthy pattern of behaviors sometimes called “toxic masculinity.” As a result, men are more...

Rising Strong Summary Part 2: The Recovery Process

Based on her research, Brown argues that people who recover from emotional setbacks go through three stages. In the following sections, we’ll explore these stages and Brown’s tips for navigating them.

Stage #1: Confront Your Emotions

Brown argues that the first stage of the recovery process is to recognize when you’re having an emotional setback and explore your reaction. With practice, you’ll be able to recognize a setback as it happens; however, at first, you may need to reflect on the experience retrospectively.

To recognize the start of an emotional setback, Brown says you must first notice negative sensations in your body and your mind. When we experience painful situations, our bodies and minds usually react first. For example, you might feel physical sensations like pain in your chest; or, mental sensations like impulsive thoughts or the inability to control your thoughts. When you notice these sensations, acknowledge that you’re having an emotionally painful reaction to something.

For example, when you got the message that your spouse wouldn’t be at your award ceremony, you might have experienced a sinking feeling in your stomach or the urge to hit...

Shortform Exercise: Start the Recovery Process

Brown explains that the first step in recovering from emotional setbacks is acknowledging when you’re having a setback and what you’re feeling. Examine a past emotional setback to practice confronting your emotions.

Describe a recent time when you were upset but couldn’t figure out why. (For instance, maybe you went to a party in a good mood, but halfway through the night, you started feeling low. You ended up leaving the party in tears.)