Book SummaryRelentless, by Tim Grover

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Relentless

In Relentless, author Tim Grover explains the qualities you’ll need to become the best in your field—qualities that he collectively calls “relentlessness.” In this guide, we’ll first define relentlessness. Then, we’ll explore the two main qualities Grover argues are essential to relentlessness:

1. The need to succeed: constantly pushing yourself as hard as you can to succeed by any means necessary
2. Directed instincts: training yourself to use your animal instincts constructively in your field

Part 1: Defining Relentlessness

Grover defines “relentlessness” as a state of mind in which you’re fully dedicated to becoming stronger, surviving, and overcoming obstacles to achieve your goals. Being relentless, Grover asserts, is how you can become the best at what you do and succeed time and time again.

(Shortform note: In some ways, relentlessness is similar to what psychologists call “conscientiousness” or the ability to make and work towards goals consistently while delaying gratification and overcoming obstacles. However, there’s one major difference between relentlessness and conscientiousness: While conscientious people plan ahead to avoid impulsive behavior, relentless people rely on impulsive behavior to help them succeed (which we’ll explore in Part 3).)

Grover explains that anyone can be relentless in pursuing any task or discipline—relationships, your job, an art form, and so on. This is because relentlessness isn’t about what you do, but about how you approach what you do. In addition, he says that anyone can be relentless because relentlessness is natural and instinctual. All animals, even humans, are born with an instinctual drive to overcome obstacles and survive—in other words, we’re born relentless.

How Much Does Evolution Inspire Behavior?

Grover’s argument here—that relentlessness is instinctual—is similar to that of “evolutionary psychology”: A framework that argues that human behavior is heavily influenced by instincts gained through evolution. However, scientists and scholars heavily debate the merits of evolutionary psychology. Its main critics argue that experiences or environment inspire behaviors more than instinct does. They also argue that it’s impossible to test the hypotheses of evolutionary psychology because even if researchers observe an expected behavior, there’s no way of knowing if instinct inspired it.

Note that Grover isn’t using this method of psychology to make his arguments—in fact, at one point he argues that science can’t ever explain relentless instincts. However, his ideas are similar enough to evolutionary psychology that these criticisms are still worth considering.

After defining relentlessness, Grover notes three categories of people defined by how often they act relentlessly: Rarely or never relentless people are “Good,” people who are relentless in specific circumstances are “Great,” and people who are always relentless are “Unstoppable.”

Defining the Good

The Good, according to Grover, are rarely or never relentless due to a fear of failure. This fear prevents the Good from fully committing to a task—therefore preventing them from relentlessly pursuing success. Because of this, they can be good at what they do but will never be the best or even great. (Shortform note: Seth Godin (Purple Cow) agrees with Grover that fear of failure prevents success and offers further explanation as to why. Godin argues that being afraid holds you back from taking risks—which are essential for success because they help you stand out from everyone else playing it safe. This makes other people more likely to remember you and offer you opportunities.)

The Good Freeze Up Under Pressure

Grover explains that fear of failure also makes the Good freeze up under pressure. Pressure causes the Good to focus on the possibility of failure instead of on what they’re trying to accomplish—in other words, they’ll freeze up because they overthink what they’re doing.

(Shortform note: Psychologist Sian Beilock agrees that overthinking leads to paralysis in Choke and offers a scientific explanation for why this happens. Beilock argues that once you learn to perform a task, your brain approaches that task without needing to think through each of its individual steps. However, overthinking makes you go back to consciously thinking through each step like a beginner would. This shift in approach confuses your brain, causing you to freeze up and fail to perform.)

Defining the Great

One step above the Good, there are the Great—people whom Grover says can be relentless under specific circumstances. The Great can be relentless only in specific situations they have prepared for extensively. This preparation gives the Great a clear planned approach to the situation, which allows them to avoid overthinking and commit their focus to action. However, if circumstances unexpectedly change, creating a situation that the Great haven’t prepared for, they’ll experience the same self-doubts and fears that the Good have and freeze up. This is why the Great can only be relentless sometimes—their confidence is situational.

(Shortform note: Sian Beilock (Choke) explains the science behind why unfamiliar situations cause you to freeze up. When you’re faced with a...

Relentless Summary Shortform Introduction

In Relentless, author Tim Grover provides a mental framework that will help you become the best in your field or discipline—a framework he calls relentlessness. This framework involves committing everything you have to overcoming obstacles and finding success.

About the Author

Connect with Tim Grover:

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The Book’s Publication

Publisher: Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster

Tim Grover originally self-published Relentless through Relentless Publishing LLC. in 2014—Scribner published the book later that year. (This guide covers the later Scribner edition of the book.) While Relentless is Grover’s first and best-known book,...

Relentless Summary Part 1: Defining Relentlessness | Chapter 1: What Relentlessness Is and Isn’t

In Relentless, author Tim Grover explains the qualities you’ll need to become the best in your field—qualities which he collectively calls “relentlessness.” He came up with these qualities by learning from his own personal training career, training and getting to know some of the all-time great basketball players. Grover argues that by acting relentlessly, you can become an all-time great yourself no matter what your career, field, or discipline is.

This guide will explore relentlessness in three parts:

• Part 1: Defining Relentlessness defines relentlessness by examining what it is and what it isn’t. We’ll then explain why a lack of relentlessness impacts a person’s ability to succeed.
• Part 2: The Unstoppable Need to Succeed explains the first of the two main relentless qualities, and explores how constantly pushing yourself as hard as you can to succeed by any means necessary.
• Part 3: The Unstoppable Control Their Instincts explains the second of the two main relentless qualities, and outlines how to train yourself to use your animal instincts constructively in your field.

What Relentlessness Is

Grover defines “relentlessness” as a state of mind...

Shortform Exercise: Define Your Relentlessness

Think about how often you act relentlessly, and how that enables or prevents success.

In the past week, were there any moments where you didn’t take initiative because you worried you’d make a mistake?

Relentless Summary Part 2: The Unstoppable Need to Succeed | Chapter 2: Never Stop Improving

Now that we understand what relentlessness is and what can hold you back from it, we’ll look at the qualities of the Unstoppable: those who are consistently relentless.

For the rest of the guide, we’ll discuss the two main qualities Grover says you need to be Unstoppable: the need to succeed and the ability to direct your instincts. We’ll start in this part of the guide by defining the need to succeed through three different principles that support this quality:

1. Never stop improving
2. Put intense pressure on yourself
3. Use any means necessary

This chapter outlines the first principle: Never stop improving. Grover says that constantly seeking improvement is a crucial part of doing everything you can to achieve your goals, and therefore is crucial for acting relentlessly. In addition, by constantly pushing as hard as you can to improve, you’ll better understand what you’re capable of and how you can use those capabilities to succeed.

(Shortform note: Psychology suggests that constantly pushing yourself hard, as Grover encourages, can lead to burnout—[a kind of emotional exhaustion characterized by disinterest and cynicism in regards to your...

Shortform Exercise: Plan Your Improvement

Consider how you can constantly continue improving, and who in your life can relentlessly help you do so.

In your field, where are three areas where you can improve the most?

Relentless Summary Chapter 3: Put Intense Pressure on Yourself

You now understand why always pushing hard to improve is necessary for an Unstoppable need to succeed. Now, we’ll explore Grover’s second principle: To develop an Unstoppable need to succeed, you must constantly put intense pressure on yourself. In this chapter, we’ll look at Grover’s explanation for how putting pressure on yourself makes you consistently relentless, as well as how to apply this pressure productively to help you succeed.

How Pressure Makes You Consistently Relentless

Grover agrees with the commonly observed phenomenon that people perform better under pressure and that being under pressure forces us to find ways to rise to whatever challenge we’re facing. In other words, constant pressure forces you to be constantly relentless—putting in everything you have to overcome obstacles and succeed.

(Shortform note: While many psychologists agree that pressure under certain circumstances will improve performance, it’s often in the context of short-term high-stress situations like a basketball game. However, in a longer-term context or in a field that doesn’t require immediate and precise action, [psychologists disagree with Grover on...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on Your Pressures

Consider the pressure you’re currently under, and how you can use that pressure to help you be relentless.

What was the biggest source of pressure for you in the last week? In the last month? Explain your answers.

Relentless Summary Chapter 4: Use Any Means Necessary

Pushing yourself hard to improve and pressuring yourself are two essential principles to satisfying your need to succeed. However, to get the most out of these principles, Grover argues that you must follow the third principle behind the Unstoppable need to succeed: seeking success by any means necessary.

In this chapter, we’ll explore the three methods Grover argues are crucial for following the principle of using any means necessary to succeed:

1. Make sacrifices
2. Accept discomfort
3. Ignore judgments

Method #1: Make Sacrifices

Using any means necessary to succeed in your field requires you to make sacrifices in everything else you do. Grover insists that you can only be Unstoppable at one thing and that you’ll have to spend less time and energy on everything else. If you split time and energy between multiple disciplines, then you aren’t giving everything you have to any of them and therefore aren’t pursuing success relentlessly.

(Shortform note: Gary Keller supports this idea of total commitment to one area of your life in The One Thing. He explains that extraordinary success comes...

Relentless Summary Part 3: The Unstoppable Direct Their Instincts | Chapter 5: Using Knowledge

We’ve just explored the first main quality of the Unstoppable, the need to succeed, and discussed how you can productively fulfill this need. Now we’ll explore the second Unstoppable quality: the ability to direct your instincts—that is, the ability to use your natural animal instincts to accomplish the complex goals your field requires. In this part of the guide, we’ll examine three areas where Grover says you’ll need to direct your instincts—knowledge, emotions, and your primal self—as well as how doing so will help you become Unstoppable.

(Shortform note: You might assume that your animal instincts are so hardwired into your mind that you can’t tell them what to do. However, this isn’t the case—the rational part of your mind can actually train your instincts. After all, memory and experience can inspire instincts—for example, a child touching a hot stove will learn from that experience, and later will have the instinct to check if a stove is hot before touching...

Shortform Exercise: Find Mastery in Your Field

Determine whether or not you have mastery in your specific discipline, and make a plan for how you can work towards or maintain it.

Are there any skills related to your discipline that you feel that you have a level of mastery in (that is, you can use those skills without consciously thinking about it)?

Relentless Summary Chapter 6: Controlling Emotions

In addition to directing your instinct to use knowledge, Grover explains that you can also direct your instincts to help control emotions. Directing your instincts to control emotion is crucial for consistent relentlessness because as we’ve discussed, strong emotions like fear and uncertainty can cause you to freeze up or doubt yourself—preventing you from acting relentlessly..

(Shortform note: While Grover argues that blocking out emotions will help you act decisively and confidently, psychological research contrasts with this idea. In Descartes’ Error, Antonio Damasio explores the role of emotions in decision-making. He researched people unable to experience emotion due to brain damage and found that they have trouble making simple decisions, often taking hours to do so. This contrasts with Grover’s argument that fewer emotions will make you more decisive. However, one could view Grover’s argument as a recommendation to avoid emotions that prevent decisiveness (such as fear) rather than to block out emotion altogether.)

In this chapter, we’ll explain Grover’s guidelines for how you can...

Relentless Summary Chapter 7: Access Your Primal Self

Once you’re able to direct your instincts to properly use your knowledge and control your emotions, Grover declares that you must access your primal self: the person you are when acting entirely through instinct. Learning to direct your instincts productively is the foundation for this step because it ensures you’ll still relentlessly pursue your goals while acting entirely on impulse. Once you can direct your instincts, accessing your primal self will help you succeed by blocking out all distraction. Blocking out distraction is essential for relentlessness by allowing you to focus and commit yourself entirely to achieving success.

(Shortform note: The primal self Grover speaks about is quite similar to what Sigmund Freud called the Id: the part of your mind dedicated to fulfilling impulses, needs, and desires. Both Grover and Freud recognize that you can harness this part of yourself to accomplish great things. However, they have contrasting beliefs about why you might harness this animal, instinctual part of...

Shortform Exercise: Recognize Your Indulgences

Identify what your primal self might want to indulge in, as well as how you might keep those desires in check.

Identify one of your primal desires, and explain how they help you keep your “pursuing success” instincts sharp. (For example, you might go on lots of dates. The constant practice of flirting with women, making a good impression on them, and getting them to want to go on a date with you is the way you choose to seek and achieve success.)