Book SummaryRead People Like a Book, by Patrick King

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Read People Like a Book

Wouldn’t it be helpful to be able to take one look at someone and know instantly what they’re thinking, what they want, and what sort of person they are? In Read People Like a Book, Patrick King argues that you can come close to doing that by learning how to interpret peoples’ speech, behavior, body language, and possessions to glean insights into their motivations and personalities. This ability allows you to more effectively navigate...

Read People Like a Book Summary How to Approach Reading People

King writes that people generally consider themselves good judges of character, but in reality, assessing another person is harder than it seems—people often misinterpret signs and then arrive at misguided conclusions about how another person feels or thinks.

(Shortform note: One reason we can form misguided conclusions about other people is cognitive simplification. This concept, as described by Daniel Kahneman in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow, explains that our brain uses mental shortcuts, or heuristics, to easily and quickly form opinions about others. This cognitive simplification often leads to errors in judgment about someone’s character and intentions because it relies on preconceived notions and stereotypes, rather than a deep, unbiased analysis of that individual.)

King advises that to avoid falling into this trap when trying to read another person, you should consider some factors that might affect your interpretation of their behavior:

1. Behavioral status quo: To accurately read someone, you have to know how they normally...

Read People Like a Book Summary What Drives Behavior?

King writes that to determine why a person behaves in a certain way, you must understand two aspects of their psyche: their motivations and personality.

Motivations are the urges and wants that compel a person to act. These include subconscious urges, the pursuit of pleasure, human needs, and our ego. We’ll examine each of these factors, as well as personality, in the following sections.

Subconscious Urges

Subconscious motivations, writes King, come from the part of your psyche that psychologist Carl Jung called the shadow—the part we try to ignore, repress, and hide from others. In the shadow live sexual urges, creative urges, insecurities, dislikes, self-loathing, and so on. Because these live in the subconscious, you may not even be fully aware of these motivations at any given moment.

(Shortform note: Jung’s concept of the “shadow” has significantly shaped psychological practices, underpinning the crucial role the subconscious plays in our behaviors and emotions. Many psychologists assert that understanding this unexplored part of our persona can lead to...

Read People Like a Book Summary How to Read Nonverbal Cues

Now that we’ve reviewed some of the factors underpinning behavior, we’ll look at some specific ways a person’s behavior may indicate their inner mind. We’ll examine in particular how this happens through nonverbal communication—what we say using our bodies, not our words.

King writes that we communicate more information nonverbally than verbally, and these messages often more accurately reflect our thoughts and feelings than our words do. This is because nonverbal communication is how the primitive side of our brain expresses its emotions, and that side of our brain can’t lie—unlike the more developed, rational side. Thus, we may say one thing with the words our rational brain chooses, but we may say something different with our posture, facial expressions, and so on.

He therefore argues that to effectively read someone—to know when they’re lying, holding something back, or trying to hide an emotion—you must learn to read their nonverbal cues: their facial expressions, body language, appearance, and manner of speaking.

(Shortform note: In The Laws of Human Nature, Robert Greene echoes King’s assertion that...

Read People Like a Book Summary How to Detect Lies

King writes that one of the main reasons people want to learn to read others is to detect when they’re being lied to. This is an understandable concern—nobody wants to be tricked, and a person who can detect lies has an advantage when negotiating or otherwise interacting with people.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to detect lies. The nonverbal cues discussed above that we often hope will reveal deceit can be hard to read. Different people have different indicators because they react uniquely to the uncomfortable feeling of lying—one person might fidget while another frowns more than usual.

Furthermore, liars are often aware of how nonverbal cues can be read and will often consciously avoid making mistakes that would give them away. If they know averting their eyes conveys deceit, for example, they’ll make sure not to do that.

(Shortform note: Former FBI counterintelligence officer Joe Navarro agrees with King's assertion that detecting lies is difficult, but offers another reason for it beyond the variability of nonverbal cues: We tend to believe those we like, and we...

Shortform Exercise: Interpret Nonverbal Cues

King writes that our nonverbal communication reflects how we think and feel more accurately than what we choose to put into words. In this exercise, think about how some nonverbal messages might play out in your day-to-day interactions.

Imagine you're at a networking event and meet someone who maintains strong eye contact but has their arms crossed during your conversation. What might this signal about their feelings or thoughts?