Book SummaryRaising Good Humans, by Hunter Clarke-Fields

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Raising Good Humans

Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields is a guide for parents and caregivers who want to work with their kids instead of always feeling like they’re fighting against them. Drawing on principles from mindfulness, she offers a philosophical approach to parenting and a hands-on manual to navigate the complexities of parenting today with patience and understanding. The book is a helpful resource for anyone looking to approach parenting with intention and build relationships with their kids based on mutual respect, understanding, and love instead of power and coercion.

Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mentor and coach who has taught her techniques to thousands around...

Raising Good Humans Summary The Key to Raising Good Humans

According to Clarke-Fields, the key to raising good humans is to build a strong relationship with your kids. If you have a strong relationship, she explains, your children will want to work with you to resolve conflict (at least most of the time).

(Shortform note: In their book Attached, psychiatrist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller suggest that strong relationships are built on secure attachment. They argue that when children feel securely attached to their parents—meaning they expect their parents to love them and don’t worry about their relationships falling apart—they are more likely to cooperate and work together with them. Moreover, when children feel safe enough in their relationships to express themselves, they are more likely to grow into empathetic, well-adjusted adults. So, nurturing a secure bond with your kids isn't just good for solving immediate issues—it sets the stage for their lifelong emotional health.)

Clarke-Fields’s relationship-based approach shifts the focus of parenting from getting...

Raising Good Humans Summary The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

According to Clarke-Fields, the journey of mindful parenting starts with you—you need to pay better attention to what’s going on internally before you can focus on your relationship with your kids. When you know what sets you off and how to take care of yourself, it becomes easier to make intentional parenting decisions that strengthen connection instead of impulsive, or reactive, decisions that harm connection.

(Shortform note: While Clarke-Fields emphasizes the personal work required to be an effective parent, this doesn’t mean you are solely responsible for the well-being and development of your child. In Hold On to Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté emphasize that a strong community network is also vital to being an effective parent. They explain that the community provides a support system, helping alleviate stress and offering...

Raising Good Humans Summary How Mindful Parenting Can Minimize Conflict

Mindful parenting recognizes that conflicts often arise when there are competing needs between a parent and a child. Rather than resorting to power struggles or permissiveness, mindful parenting aims to resolve conflict through mutual understanding and collaborative problem-solving. While Clarke-Fields acknowledges that yelling, timeouts, and threats may get your kid to behave in the short term, especially when they’re young, these strategies will degrade your relationship over time. If your child complies with your request or changes their behavior, it’ll be out of fear, and it will only build resentment and anger.

(Shortform note: Unlike Clarke-Fields, Amy Chua, author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, defends her more authoritarian approach to raising high-achieving and disciplined children. While Clarke-Fields argues that strategies like yelling, timeouts, and threats degrade relationships and foster resentment, Chua contends that clear boundaries and high expectations lead to immediate compliance and long-term respect. Chua presents her methods, which balance strictness with love and support, as...

Raising Good Humans Summary Invest in Your Relationship With Your Child

According to Clarke-Fields, building your relationship with your child doesn’t happen all at once. It takes time. To strengthen your connection, she recommends two key practices: spending focused time with your child and creating a simple, low-stress environment at home.

Spend Intentional Time With Your Kids

Setting aside intentional time means actively carving out periods in your day exclusively for connecting with your child, undistracted by your to-do list or the messy house. This isn’t about squeezing them in between emails or chores; it’s about fully being there with them.

Focused play is a powerful tool for this. When you play with your child, giving them your full attention, it makes the play more enjoyable and deepens the bond between you. During these moments, engage with whatever activity they're interested in—whether that be building blocks, drawing, or storytelling—and don’t try to redirect their play or multitask.

Clarke-Fields recommends telling your child that you’re going to focus only on them. Then, set a timer, and do your best to only pay attention to them for that time period.

(Shortform note: Setting aside intentional time to play with your...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on a Recent Interaction

Reflect on past experiences and plan for future ones to enhance the quality of your parenting and build stronger, more compassionate connections with your child.

Briefly describe a recent situation with your child that was challenging.