Book SummaryQuit Like a Woman, by Holly Whitaker

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Quit Like a Woman

In Quit Like a Woman, writer and long-term recovering alcoholic Holly Whitaker takes on society’s relationship with drinking and recovery. She argues that alcohol is always bad for our bodies but that alcohol companies have persuaded us that drinking is a normal part of adult life and that the only people who shouldn’t drink are fully-fledged alcoholics who exhibit extremely destructive...

Quit Like a Woman Summary Part 1: Whitaker’s Journey Through Alcoholism

Whitaker recounts her recovery journey, from her denial of her addiction to acceptance of her addiction, and finally, her attempts to quit.

Whitaker’s Denial of Her Alcoholism

Whitaker started drinking at age 13 and continued drinking throughout high school, which led to bad grades, a reputation as being sexually promiscuous, and low self-esteem. In college, she got her life back on track, but when she later started moving up the corporate ladder at a health care startup, her drinking, drug use, eating disorder, and spending spiraled out of control.

(Shortform note: Whitaker recounts her experiences as a young drinker, and many of the consequences she felt are seen in the broader population of underage drinkers. Beyond what Whitaker lists, underage drinkers also frequently have broken or unfulfilling relationships and are prone to violence. Further, heavy drinking at an early age is correlated with low self-esteem, depression, and other drug use—which we see in Whitaker’s later life, as well.)

Still, she was unwilling to admit that her drinking was a problem, justifying her continued consumption by comparing herself to...

Quit Like a Woman Summary Part 2: Truths and Lies About Alcohol and Recovery Programs

Why did Whitaker struggle for so long to recognize her alcoholism? She claims it’s because we’re conditioned to believe drinking is normal and enjoyable and only a problem for people with an inborn weakness showing obvious and extreme symptoms of alcohol addiction. Let’s explore this statement by first explaining the truth—that alcohol is always bad for us—and then uncovering the lies—that alcohol is normally fine and addiction is exclusively genetic and manifests in extremely destructive behavior.

The Truth: Alcohol Is Always Bad for Us

Whitaker argues that alcohol is nothing short of a poison that destroys the body. Even a small amount of alcohol is bad for us because whatever effect the drink has—making us relaxed and happy—the body will seek to undo it to reinstate homeostasis, a proper bodily balance. It does this by making us tense and anxious after drinking.

(Shortform note: Our body’s desire to reinstate homeostasis may have unpleasant consequences in drinking (making us tense and anxious), but outside of that, it’s a critical bodily function without which we couldn’t exist....

Quit Like a Woman Summary Part 3: The Real Cause of Alcoholism: Inner Wounds

Now that we’ve covered the lies about alcohol and alcoholism, let’s look at what Whitaker feels to be a more common cause of alcoholism than the generally assumed genetic basis for addictive behavior. While some people do have a biological predisposition to addiction, addiction is also a symptom of inner suffering that can arise in response to the challenges of existing in a patriarchal, capitalist society.

Whitaker explains that when you’ve suffered trauma, had a difficult upbringing, are societally oppressed or marginalized, have mental health issues, don’t have a strong support network, or suffer from other inner pain, you’re more likely to turn to outside sources—drugs, alcohol, shopping, and so on—for the comfort and validation you can’t give yourself. For instance, you might eat excessively to make yourself feel better about a bad test grade you know your parents will punish you for, or you might drink to numb the pain of a workplace microaggression.

Additional Factors Contributing to Alcohol Addiction

Whitaker focuses on the psychological pain that can set the scene for alcohol addiction while acknowledging that other factors contribute to an...

Quit Like a Woman Summary Part 4: The Five Facets of Whitaker’s Approach to Recovery

Whitaker breaks her recovery approach into five facets, which we’ll explore below. She stresses that this type of recovery isn’t linear and goal-oriented, like AA. Rather, it’s a journey and as much about discovering yourself as getting sober. Further, your journey will be unique to you, and you must explore and move along it in the best way for you.

(Shortform note: As you begin your recovery journey, it might help to dig into your psyche and personality to understand how you might best pursue recovery and what your potential roadblocks will be. Consider answering some basic questions about yourself to pinpoint where you feel safest, what provides you with comfort, and what part of yourself you’re most critical of, for instance.)

Facet #1: Be Kind to Yourself

Whitaker argues that one of the most important facets of your recovery journey is to learn to be kind to yourself to heal your inner wounds. Only when you’re gentle and forgiving with yourself, rather than severe and punitive, will you be able to stop suffering permanently....

Shortform Exercise: Examine Your Relationship With Alcohol

Reflect on your relationship with alcohol, how it might be influenced by outside factors, and whether you might want to change it.

What do you consider “normal” drinking—how frequently and much does that mean to you? Do you feel you consume a “normal” amount of alcohol? Note your thoughts below.