Book SummaryPersonality Isn't Permanent, by Benjamin Hardy

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Personality Isn't Permanent

While most people think of personality as fixed, Benjamin Hardy argues that it’s actually fluid and changeable. In Personality Isn’t Permanent, he attempts to show the downsides of seeing personality as fixed and to teach you how to change yourself to be whomever you want.

Hardy is an organizational psychologist, entrepreneur, speaker, and author of several books and a popular blog. While he primarily focuses on entrepreneurship and leadership, Personality Isn’t Permanent is written for a general audience interested in improving their lives.

In this guide, we’ll cover Hardy’s ideas in five parts:

Part 1: Clearing Up Misconceptions About Personality clarifies common misconceptions...

Personality Isn't Permanent Summary Part 1: Clearing Up Misconceptions About Personality

According to Hardy, most people think of their personality—that is, the totality of their abilities, preferences, and temperaments—as something innate and unchanging. This is exemplified by the popularity of personality tests (such as the Enneagram and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) which neatly categorize people into specific personality types. These tests are so popular, Hardy suggests, because people like to make sense of themselves—the tests give them metrics by which to define who they are.

Two Widely-Held Misconceptions About Personality

Hardy contends that thinking about personality as a fixed feature comes largely from multiple misconceptions about how personality works. We’ve synthesized his ideas into two main misconceptions.

Misconception #1: The Past Determines Your Personality

The first misconception is that people think the past determines their personality. They succumb to the “end of history illusion,” the idea that everything that’s happened so far in their lives has shaped them into who they are today, but that their current self won’t change much going forward and won’t be shaped as much by future life events. As a result, they...

Personality Isn't Permanent Summary Part 2: Personality Change Starts With Deciding Who You Want to Become

According to Hardy, because your thoughts and actions largely determine your personality, you can change your personality by changing the way you live. As we discussed, most people cater to their limitations and structure their lives based on their current personality—but by acting and thinking the way they’re used to, they live a life that maintains their existing personality.

Instead, you’ll want to envision your optimal self and structure your life around this vision—thinking and acting in ways that will help you become more like them. Eventually, you’ll be the person you want to be, living the life you want to live.

(Shortform note: While Hardy argues that you must push yourself to break out of a growth-averse life of comfort and habit, positive personality change actually happens for most people—regardless of commitment or effort. Psychologists explain that over time, the majority of people become more outgoing, mature, disciplined, and agreeable, whether or not they’ve dedicated their lives to growth. Still,...

Personality Isn't Permanent Summary Part 3: Take Action Toward Your Primary Goal

Now that you’ve thought about your optimal personality and a goal that will get you there, the next step is to begin working toward your primary goal. This involves both aligning your behaviors and decisions with your goal and changing the limiting ways you think about yourself. In this section, we’ll discuss how to choose behaviors and make decisions in service of your goal.

Why You Should Base Your Behaviors and Decisions on Your Primary Goal

Hardy says that to meet your primary goal, you’ll need to structure your everyday behaviors and your broader life decisions around it. As we discussed earlier, most people structure their lives around their current personality—listening to their impulses, doing things that feel agreeable, and ultimately, not changing. Structuring your life around who you want to be instead of who you are breaks you out of this cycle and pushes you toward change.

(Shortform note: To make this journey feel less daunting, try starting small: You can immediately change your attitude and feel empowered by changing how you hold yourself. Psychology research shows that [changing the way you hold your body and face changes how you...

Personality Isn't Permanent Summary Part 4: Change Your Narratives to Serve Your Primary Goal

Now that you know how to structure your life around your primary goal, you’ll now focus on changing your thoughts that stand in the way of your goal and becoming your optimal self.

The unhealthy ideas that your personality is fixed or that you’re determined by your past come from narratives—or stories—you tell yourself about who you are and the events that happen to you. The narratives you tell yourself can either help you or hinder you in reaching your goal. In this section, we’ll discuss how unhelpful narratives are formed, why they hinder your progress, how trauma—the most destructive kind of narrative—works and limits your ability to grow, and how to heal your narratives and traumas.

How Narratives Are Formed

Most people think they see the world objectively. However, Hardy says this is untrue. Your memories and everyday perceptions are not just the objective things you observe: They’re the objective observations plus the narratives you tell yourself about them. When something significant happens, you consciously or unconsciously form an explanation for why it happened and what that means about you and the world around you.

For instance, if you got into...

Personality Isn't Permanent Summary Part 5: There Is No Endpoint

Now that you know how to change your life, there’s one more important thing to keep in mind going forward: There is no endpoint. Hardy tells us that the point of working on your primary goal isn’t to reach an ideal future where you get to just relax and enjoy the permanent happiness that comes with having finally done enough work. In fact, this isn’t even possible. In life, there is no endpoint at which you’ve done enough that you don’t have to keep growing. You should enjoy the fruits of your labor, but you shouldn’t count on them for permanent satisfaction.

(Shortform note: This way of thinking—that once we reach some ideal future, we’ll finally be happy all the time—is called the “arrival fallacy." While it might...

Shortform Exercise: Visualize Your Optimal Self and How to Become Them

Hardy argues that the most effective way to become who you want to be is to imagine your optimal self and complete the steps necessary to becoming that person. This exercise will help you consider your optimal self and how to become this person.

Take a moment to imagine your optimal self. What is their personality—their traits, preferences, and temperaments—like? What kind of lifestyle do they have?

Shortform Exercise: Change Your Narratives to Help You Complete Your Goal

Hardy says that unhealthy narratives that frame you in a negative light prevent you from accomplishing your primary goal. This exercise will help you identify an unhealthy narrative you have about yourself and change it so you can meet your primary goal.

What’s an unhealthy narrative—one that frames you as disempowered and incapable of change—you regularly have about yourself?