Book SummaryI'm Glad My Mom Died, by Jennette McCurdy

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of I'm Glad My Mom Died

In her New York Times best-selling memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, former child star Jennette McCurdy explores the ways in which her acting career and her entire identity are inextricably linked with her difficult, often traumatic, relationship with her mom, Debra. Debra’s control over McCurdy’s life is so complete that it extends even beyond Debra’s death from cancer when McCurdy is 21; it isn’t until years later that McCurdy starts to recover from her childhood in earnest.

McCurdy is best known for her roles in the popular Nickelodeon TV show iCarly (2007-2012) and its spinoff, Sam & Cat (2013-2014). She left TV acting in 2018, after which she wrote and directed a number of short films. I’m Glad My Mom Died originated in a one-woman show of the same name that she wrote and performed in Los Angeles from 2020 to 2021.

Our guide divides McCurdy’s life into three chronological phases. Within each phase, we discuss McCurdy’s story by topic.

In Part 1, we’ll look at...

I'm Glad My Mom Died Summary Part 1: McCurdy’s Difficult Relationship With Her Mom

McCurdy’s relationship with her mom dominates every aspect of her childhood and young adulthood. In this section, we’ll examine how Debra’s behavior colors McCurdy’s home life, her relationship with her dad, her acting career, her disordered eating and drinking, and her efforts to be independent from Debra.

McCurdy’s Troubled Home Life

From early childhood, McCurdy lives with her family in Garden Grove, California, about an hour and a half from Hollywood. She notes that residents call the city “garbage grove” because so many “white trash” people live there. She lives with her mom and dad, her three brothers, and her mom’s parents. The family doesn’t have much money and frequently pays their rent late or underpays it, even with McCurdy’s dad and grandparents all chipping in. Her grandparents work minimum-wage jobs; her dad works two blue-collar jobs. Debra home-schools her four kids.

McCurdy’s home life is marred by Debra’s mental and physical illnesses, including Debra’s hoarding, her volatile mental and emotional state, and her cancer. These issues cause McCurdy to feel constantly anxious, guilty, and responsible for her mom’s health and happiness. However, she...

I'm Glad My Mom Died Summary Part 2: Debra’s Death

Debra dies when McCurdy is 21, leaving McCurdy feeling lost and unsure of who she is. In this section, we’ll discuss McCurdy’s initial reaction to Debra’s death, as well as the effect of Debra’s death on McCurdy’s acting career.

Debra’s Death Sends McCurdy Into a Tailspin

Jenette’s mom’s death causes her to stop caring about many things and feel angrier about others. She continues drinking and binging and purging. She exercises excessively: running 5-10 miles every other day and 13 miles twice a week. She feels bitter about things like her co-star, Ariana Grande’s, regular absences from the set in pursuit of her singing career. She loses her virginity to a man when she’s drunk just to get it over with, even though she doesn’t really want to have sex with him.

She also realizes that she’s spent her life focusing on her mom—trying to understand her and doing whatever it takes to make her happy—and has never focused on understanding or getting to know herself. She feels lost.

(Shortform note: Psychologists point out that children of narcissists can experience a kind of [“double grief” upon the death of the narcissistic...

I'm Glad My Mom Died Summary Part 3: McCurdy’s Recovery

After her mom’s death, McCurdy’s difficult childhood and its lasting, negative effects start to catch up to her, and she begins the process of recovery. In this section, we’ll first explore McCurdy’s experience with therapy and treatment for her eating disorders. Then, we’ll discuss how McCurdy comes to terms with Debra’s abuse.

Therapy and Treatment for Eating Disorders

Following her tailspin, McCurdy begins going to a therapist and life coach, Laura. They start by taking stock of McCurdy’s life, determining that she’s binging and purging 5-10 times a day and drinking 8-9 shots of hard alcohol a night. Laura helps McCurdy understand that she’s binging and purging as a way to relieve anxiety caused by pent-up emotions. McCurdy is so spent and exhausted after she purges that she has no energy left for anxiety. In this way, the act serves as self-medication. She learns that one method of addressing her bulimia is by journaling constantly to get her feelings on paper so they aren’t unconsciously propelling her actions.

In response to Laura’s questions, McCurdy reveals that her mom showed her how to restrict calories when she was 11. Laura says that McCurdy’s mom taught...

Shortform Exercise: Learn From McCurdy’s Experiences

I’m Glad My Mom Died describes behaviors associated with many mental health issues and psychological conditions, from hoarding to narcissism to alcohol use disorder. Consider how to apply McCurdy’s experiences with these problems to your own life.

Do you recognize yourself or anyone you know in any of the patterns of behavior McCurdy describes (for example, excessive drinking, binging and purging, or frequent emotional outbursts)? If so, describe the specific behaviors you’ve observed in yourself or others.