Book SummaryCues, by Vanessa Van Edwards

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Cues

Do you have helpful skills and insights to share with the world, yet find yourself undervalued and ignored at work and in your social life? According to Vanessa Van Edwards’s Cues (2022), the problem may be that you’re not projecting charisma—the quality that makes others pay attention to you. Without charisma, you won’t get your ideas across or have an impact on others, which can hold you back both personally and professionally. However, Van Edwards says that by adopting charismatic cues, anyone can begin to convey charisma and make their mark on the world.

Van Edwards...

Cues Summary What Is Charisma?

Van Edwards explains that charisma is a balance of warmth and competence. When you meet someone, you first subconsciously judge their warmth (approachability, empathy, and kindness), then their competence (skill, confidence, and air of authority). As you interact further, you continue subconsciously judging them along these lines. (Shortform note: In The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane defines charisma a bit differently. Cabane says that charisma is the combination of mindfulness, authority, and goodwill—these traits are magnetic because they signal to others that if they interact with you, their life is likely to improve.)

You form these judgments by perceiving their cues: verbal, nonverbal (behavioral), and symbolic signals of meaning—like kind words, crossed arms, and even the color of their shirt. Van Edwards says your brain has evolved to interpret these cues in only a few milliseconds. This helps you immediately determine whether others are trustworthy (via warmth cues) and whether you can rely on them as competent...

Cues Summary How Understanding Cues Improves Your Charisma

Van Edwards says anyone can become more charismatic by understanding and strategically adopting warmth and competence cues. But how does this improve your charisma? Van Edwards’s theory depends on the cycle of cue communication, which has three steps: perceiving, absorbing, and conveying. First, when you perceive someone’s cue, you automatically begin trying to understand what it means—what message are they sending you? After you’ve perceived their cue, you absorb it—it becomes part of your understanding of the situation, and you have an emotional reaction to this update. Finally, you convey a message back to the other person, either automatically or thoughtfully—again, via your cues.

To illustrate, say your friend frowns at a joke you’ve made. Based on this cue, you might perceive that they found your joke offensive. As you absorb that information, you might feel embarrassed and make a mental note to yourself that the language you used was inappropriate. Then, you might apologize for the bad joke, using a verbal cue like imbuing your voice with emotion to convey your sincerity. (Then, the cycle continues—they perceive your cues, absorb the information you’ve conveyed, and...

Cues Summary Adopt These Charismatic Cues

Now that you know how understanding cue communication can benefit you, let’s discuss the verbal and nonverbal cues Van Edwards says can boost your charisma. In every case, Van Edwards recommends that you only adopt cues that feel natural to you. If you fake a cue, others will detect the artifice and distrust you, damaging your charisma. (Shortform note: Studies suggest that people can detect artificial cues because authentic physical expression is made up of automatic muscle movements. If you adopt a cue that doesn’t feel natural, you may fail to replicate all its nuances, and others may notice. This is why actors who want to give a convincing performance try to feel their characters’ emotions.)

Charismatic Verbal Cues

Verbal cues are cues conveyed through speech or text. They include word choice cues (your vocabulary and punctuation choices) and vocal cues (techniques that make your spoken voice sound more charismatic). We’ll cover all these cues in this section.

Charismatic Word Choice Cues

**Choose your words...

Cues Summary Mitigate These Anti-Charismatic Cues

We’ve covered the cues Van Edwards says you should use to cultivate charisma—now, let’s discuss the cues you should mitigate or avoid. In this section, we’ll describe the cues that signal contemptibility—the absence of warmth and competence—and provide alternatives you can use to minimize contemptibility. Finally, we’ll discuss how to counter others’ biases, which could lead them to unfairly perceive you as uncharismatic.

Mitigate Contemptible Cues

Contemptible cues counteract charisma by decreasing your perceived warmth, competence, or both, leading others to dismiss you. Just like charismatic cues, contemptible cues fall into two categories: verbal and nonverbal.

Contemptible Verbal Cues

Asking questions when you mean to make a statement. Van Edwards says that many people raise their pitch at the end of a sentence—this variation in pitch is known as question inflection, and it signals that you’re unsure of what you’re saying. To project competence instead, maintain a steady pitch throughout your sentence. (Shortform note: You can use the inverse of this rule when it’s important to project warmth: For example, question inflection (also known as...

Shortform Exercise: Master Charisma in Your Personal Life

Think about how you can use charismatic cues to win favor in an upcoming social interaction.

Think of an upcoming social interaction, like a chess club meeting, dinner party, or first date. Do you feel confident you’ll come across charismatically at this event? Why or why not?

Shortform Exercise: Master Charisma in Your Professional Life

Think about how you can use charismatic cues to win favor in an upcoming professional interaction.

Think of an upcoming professional interaction, like a job interview, presentation, or performance review. Do you feel confident you’ll come across charismatically at this event? Why or why not?