1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Captivate
In Captivate, best-selling author Vanessa Van Edwards provides strategies to help you become a social superstar. She argues that by taking control of social situations and presenting your best self, you can dazzle the people you want to know and forge meaningful relationships.
A self-proclaimed “recovering awkward person,” Van Edwards has drawn on the research of social psychologists and counselors to develop strategies to make...
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Captivate Summary Part 1 | Establish Connection: Appeal to Be Appealing
Van Edwards argues that to get other people to like and remember you, you have to appeal to their sensibilities and the similarities you share. You can do this by making social situations work for you and by making yourself likable and memorable.
Make Social Situations Work for You
Van Edwards says that getting people to like you begins with proactively setting the stage before you meet them. She recommends carefully selecting the places and events you attend, where and how you interact with people once you’re there, and the type of people you interact with. Doing these things will help you feel comfortable and project confidence, which other people respond to positively.
Step 1: Attend Events Where You’ll Feel Most Confident and Comfortable
Van Edwards recommends making a list of all the settings you love, loathe, and feel okay about, then accept invitations in places you love, reject ones in places you loathe, and take time to consider the ones that are in the locations you feel "okay" in. For example, do you find bars loud and overwhelming? If so, they’re not the place to spend your time if you can avoid them, because you’ll probably be miserable and...
Captivate Summary Part 2 | Deepen Your Relationships: Read and Adapt to Your Audience
In Part 1 of this guide, you learned how to establish connections with people you’ve just met. Now, we’ll examine four of Van Edwards’s methods for getting to know people at a deeper level so you can enhance and improve your relationships.
Method 1: Read Faces to Reveal the Truth
Van Edwards presents and discusses Paul Ekman’s theory of seven universal facial expressions and says that when you know what they are, you can use them to determine if people are being honest.
Facial microexpressions are tiny, near imperceptible facial gestures that appear and disappear in less than a second and communicate one of the following seven emotions. The features of the seven microexpressions are:
- Anger: Brow furrowed, eyes and lips narrowed
- Contempt: Lips tightened and raised on one side of the face
- Happiness: A symmetrical smile displaying teeth, plumped cheeks, eye corners wrinkled
- Fear: Eyes wide, forehead and eyelids raised, mouth slightly open
- Surprise: Eyes wide, eyebrows raised and rounded, jaw hanging
- Disgust: Nose wrinkled, upper lip raised, cheeks and lower...
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Shortform Exercise: Prepare for Social Success
Van Edwards says that the key to establishing and deepening your relationships with people is proactively setting yourself up for positive interactions, making yourself likable and memorable, and playing to other people’s traits.
Think of a time you had to go to an event where you didn’t know anyone and you felt uncomfortable and unsure of yourself. What could you do next time to make that event go more smoothly? For example, is there a better location you could choose for striking up conversation?
