Book SummaryBurnout, by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Burnout

Women have it rough. Our patriarchal society has a million expectations for how they should act, look, feel, and speak in any situation. And failure to meet these expectations equates to feeling like they aren’t “enough”—humble enough, generous enough, pretty enough, strong enough, and so on. The result? Physical, mental, and emotional burnout. Luckily, in Burnout, Amelia and Emily Nagoski provide the science behind how women can handle these stressors to avoid burnout and thrive.

Amelia and Emily Nagoski are twin sisters who share a passion for wellness and helping women succeed. Amelia...

Burnout Summary The Root of Female Burnout

The authors explain that burnout is the result of a stress overload that leaves you with feelings of inadequacy and futility—you’re exhausted, you stop caring, and you struggle to connect with others. The things that cause us stress are called stressors, and the first step to preventing burnout is to identify these stressors.

The authors elaborate that for women, most burnout-inducing stressors are the result of living in a patriarchal society in which boys are raised to be dominant takers and girls are raised to be submissive supporters. Supporters are expected to always be mild-mannered, humble, pretty, and willing to give their time, attention, affection, and bodies to the people who need them. This is a moral obligation that most women experience, and a standard that many men expect of women, but it’s completely unrealistic for any human to live up to.

(Shortform note: While the patriarchy is the root of female burnout, experts explain that patriarchal expectations are also harmful to men—men who endorse patriarchal masculine norms like self-reliance, playboy behavior, and dominance over women [tend to have poorer mental health and are less likely to seek...

Burnout Summary How to Prevent Burnout

The authors explain that to prevent burnout, we must manage both our stressors and the stress they cause. Stress is the body’s hormonal response to perceived threats, and it helps keep us alive. For example, if you’re swimming and see a shark in the water (a stressor), you’re flooded with stress hormones, swim away fast, and feel relieved once you’ve escaped. However, if the shark disappears and your body doesn’t know whether you’ve escaped the threat, the stress will remain.

As we’ve learned, the stressors women face aren’t usually escapable—they tend to linger in our environment, like the shark. This means women’s stress lingers, builds up, and eventually causes burnout. The authors explain that to avoid this, you must (1) dissipate the lingering stress hormones, and (2) manage and minimize your stressors. This section will provide the authors’ techniques for how you can accomplish these objectives.

(Shortform note: Researchers agree that stress is a biological response to danger, elaborating that our body becomes stressed when something threatens its homeostasis. Homeostasis is a state of equilibrium among...

Burnout Summary How to Recover From Burnout

The authors explain that no matter how good you are at managing your stress and stressors, you may still experience burnout from time to time. However, knowing how to recover from burnout will get you back on your feet faster and make you more resilient against burnout in the future.

The authors explain that there are four tools that will help you recover from and build resilience against burnout: practicing self-compassion, finding a larger meaning to your life, forming a loving support system, and getting proper rest.

(Shortform note: Experts agree that learning how to recover from stress and burnout is one of the best ways to build resilience against stressors in the future. They add that this resilience will also give you a greater appreciation of life, your family, friends, and other matters you deal with. The authors recommend building resilience by practicing self-compassion, connecting to a larger meaning in life, spending time with your support system, and getting proper rest....

Shortform Exercise: Relieve Your Stress

The authors explain that relieving stress is a process: You need to relieve your stress hormones, identify and manage your stressors, and take preventative measures that will make you more resilient against burnout.

Consider the techniques the authors recommend to dissipate stress hormones and write down the top three strategies that you think will work best for you. (For example, you might try exercising, screaming into a pillow, connecting with loved ones and friends, or practicing wellness exercises like measured breathing.)