Book SummaryBittersweet, by Susan Cain

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Bittersweet

Do you prefer to listen to sad songs? Do you seek out beauty in everyday life? If so, you may have a bittersweet disposition. In Bittersweet, Susan Cain defines the bittersweet disposition as frequently experiencing intense joy, sadness, and yearning simultaneously. People with this temperament are deeply conscious that their time in the world is finite, and they accept that pain, beauty, struggle, and hope are always intertwined.

(Shortform note: Cain’s terminology here—bittersweetness—is arguably the most accurate word to describe things that are pleasant but also marked by suffering, and it has been for centuries. The first recorded use of the word bittersweet as a noun was in the 14th century, describing pleasure mixed with suffering or regret. It was first used as an adjective in the 16th century.)

Cain examines the bittersweet aspects of the human experience, including the connections between love and longing, joy and sadness, and life and death. In doing so, she argues that **all of us can glean...

Bittersweet Summary Longing for Something More

According to Cain, one major characteristic of people with a bittersweet disposition is a feeling of longing for something. (Shortform note: Longing is a partly melancholic state because we feel sorrowful about our separation from the thing we yearn for. However, it’s also sweet because there’s at least a small possibility that we’ll achieve our dream. These joyful possibilities live in our memories and imaginations, making the experience of longing inherently bittersweet.)

What we yearn for varies from person to person—many of us long for a sense of belonging or a feeling that we’re finally home. Others long to visit faraway places. Ultimately, Cain argues that we’re all searching for a glimpse of a better world, one that is idyllic and sublime, and it’s from this longing that bittersweetness arises.

(Shortform note: Many languages from across the world have distinct terms to represent different forms of longing, exemplifying Cain’s assertion that bittersweet yearning of many kinds is a universal part of the...

Bittersweet Summary The Misunderstood Power of Sadness

Now that we’ve touched on the bittersweet nature of longing, let’s take a look at one of the other primary emotions of bittersweet existence: sadness. Cain presents sadness as a powerful emotion capable of inspiring much more than just pain—sadness can lead to positive experiences, too.

(Shortform note: Note that there’s a distinction between sadness and depression. Sadness is an inevitable part of life, but it isn’t constant. Due to its temporary nature, it can help us slow down, consider what’s bothering us, and propel us to change our circumstances for the better. Depression involves severe sadness that lasts for more than two weeks and involves the loss of interest or pleasure in activities we normally enjoy. Additionally, it may cause symptoms such as low energy, loss of appetite, and insomnia. Depression may be triggered by a traumatic event or psychological stress, and genetic factors often predispose people to it.)

In this section, we’ll discuss Cain’s assertion that sadness can be a powerful way to inspire compassion for others. We’ll also examine the role of sadness in sparking...

Bittersweet Summary Accepting Impermanence and Loss

In the previous section, we discussed how sadness can be a powerful tool for inspiring compassion, connection, and creativity. Now, in this final section, let’s dive deeper into one of the main aspects of life that inspires sorrow: the inevitability that everything we care about will cease to exist someday.

According to Cain, people who are drawn to states of bittersweetness have a higher-than-average awareness that their time is limited and that they’ll eventually lose the things they love. Though this awareness might sound depressing to some, Cain argues that an intimate understanding and acceptance of impermanence can benefit us, enhancing our joy, togetherness, and wisdom.

(Shortform note: Cain asserts that a high awareness of impermanence and death can be beneficial to us, but some argue that [it can be detrimental to our mental...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on Impermanence in Your Life

Cain explores the benefits of bittersweet states, and she describes many methods for accessing them in everyday life. Spend some time considering your relationship to one of these states—impermanence awareness.

How much do you consider impermanence in your everyday life? (For example, you might think about your mortality regularly; or, it might only cross your mind occasionally.)