Book SummaryBecoming Bulletproof, by Evy Poumpouras

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Becoming Bulletproof

In Becoming Bulletproof, Evy Poumpouras teaches you how to become a more resilient and effective person. This means being able to pursue the life you want without fear, problem-solve and cope with stress, and get what you need from other people. As a former special agent in the US Secret Service, Poumpouras has extensive knowledge of controlling fear and dealing with stressful situations. As a former interrogator, she...

Becoming Bulletproof Summary Understand How You Respond to Fear

Poumpouras argues that to become a more resilient person, you need to first understand how fear influences you. Fear plays an important part in our lives. Fear can keep you safe in many situations, but it can also be debilitating and keep you from enjoying life. In this section, we’ll look at how we develop fears and how assessing our fears from a more logical perspective can help us cope with them and become more resilient.

Types of Fear: Innate and Acquired

Poumpouras says there are two kinds of fear: innate and acquired. Innate fears are present from birth. The only two universal innate fears are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. We know they’re innate because even babies show signs of fear when they encounter heights or loud noises.

(Shortform note: Though Poumpouras claims there are only two universally recognized innate fears, there is evidence other fears are with us from birth. Many infants show signs that they’re naturally afraid of predators, pain, and rapidly approaching objects. For example, [predators like...

Becoming Bulletproof Summary Understand How You React to Danger

Poumpouras argues that another way you can become more resilient is to understand how and why you normally respond to danger, conflict, or stress. Understanding which response is your default can help you modify that response to be more constructive.

When faced with immediate danger, we usually respond in one of three ways—fight, flight, or freeze. Let’s now look at these three responses and how understanding your typical response can help you deal with danger.

Types of Responses to Danger: Fight, Flight, Freeze

The fight, flight, or freeze responses to danger are the human body’s way of protecting itself. In general, people fight back when they feel they can defend themselves against a threat. When they feel they can get away from a threat, they flee. When they feel they can do neither, they freeze.

You can respond in such ways because, when met with danger, the body releases hormones that produce physiological responses to prepare you to deal with a threat. They cause your heart to beat faster, your breathing to increase, your pupils to dilate, and your muscles to tense. You become more focused, alert, and powerful.

(Shortform note: [One of the dangers of...

Becoming Bulletproof Summary Cope Effectively With Day-to-Day Problems

In addition to conquering fear and mitigating your responses to danger, Poumpouras provides strategies to help you become more resilient in your daily life. Doing this can help you find solutions to problems, deal with stress, and take control of your life. Strategies to build everyday resilience include facing reality, taking responsibility for your actions, and building a tolerance to stress.

Face Reality

Although maintaining a certain degree of optimism is a helpful mental attribute, Poumpouras argues that accepting the reality of a situation is even more important to coping with it resiliently.

Finding this balance between optimism and realism can be tricky. The best approach is to hope for a positive outcome while still being aware of potential negative outcomes. This way, when you encounter a setback, you’ll be prepared, and you can focus on finding a solution to the problem. On the other hand, being overly optimistic can cause you to overlook potential problems or issues that may arise. Subsequently, when an issue or setback occurs, it will be more difficult to cope with it.

Another important aspect of facing reality is making sure you’re **addressing the...

Becoming Bulletproof Summary How to Understand People

Poumpouras argues that learning how to understand people through their words and actions can help you become stronger and more resilient in your personal and professional life. If you know what to look for, you can come to a deeper understanding of people’s emotions and feelings, which in turn will help you get more out of your relationships.

Ultimately, when we seek to understand others, we seek to know if we can trust them, which is why Poumpouras mainly focuses on how to tell when someone is lying.

Avoid Categorizing Others

Poumpouras claims that before you can learn how to read people and tell when they’re lying, you must let go of any biases and tendencies to categorize or stereotype others. We like to put people into simplified groups based on limited information and our own biases: People are either good or bad, smart or stupid. Reality, though, isn’t so black and white. People are complicated, and when we place them into simplified categories we ignore the many complexities of their personality and behavior, which makes it nearly impossible to fully understand them.

(Shortform note: In Biased, Dr. Jennifer...

Becoming Bulletproof Summary How to Influence Others

Once you better understand yourself and know how to understand others, Poumpouras argues you can use this information to influence the people around you. The ability to influence others helps you be more resilient because you can get what you want out of various social interactions. Knowing how to influence others can improve your life in dramatic ways—your relationships, work life, and well-being will all benefit.

Influencing, however, is not about manipulating or deceiving someone: It’s about empathizing, building trust, and using subtle strategies to affect the way someone thinks or acts. Let’s first look at the need to establish empathy and then discuss methods of influence.

Why Empathy Is Important

Poumpouras says you must empathize with others before you can influence them. If people feel you empathize with their situation or perspective, they’re more likely to trust you, let their guard down, and be more open and honest with you. If you try to change other people through pressure, on the other hand, people are likely to pick up on it. When they do, they’ll get defensive, lose trust in you, and be suspicious of your motives. Once this trust is lost it’s...

Shortform Exercise: Improve Your Response to Danger

Think about how you recently reacted to danger and how you can react more appropriately to such danger in the future.

Think of a time when you faced immediate danger or a threat to your well-being. What was your reaction? Did you fight, run away, or freeze?