Book SummaryAtlas of the Heart, by Brené Brown

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Atlas of the Heart

In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown—a popular public speaker, bestselling author, and professional social worker—provides a guide to the many emotions and mental states that people feel.

Brown says many people can only recognize and name three emotions: happiness, sadness, and anger. This lack of vocabulary blocks us from being able to fully experience and share our feelings with others—and that prevents us from forming connections with each other. Atlas of the Heart provides descriptions...

Atlas of the Heart Summary Important Terms

Brown uses a few important terms that you may not be familiar with or you may not know in the same sense that she uses them. Therefore, we’ll start by defining those terms.

Brown frequently describes feelings as either a trait or a state. In brief:

• A trait is an aspect of your personality, or a characteristic thought pattern. In other words, it’s a more-or-less permanent part of how you think or act. For example, confidence is a trait that many people strive for: No matter the situation, some people always seem to be sure of themselves and in control.
• A state is a temporary condition brought on by a particular event or situation. For example, anger isn’t a permanent part of your personality (hopefully); rather, something happens that makes you angry. Atlas of the Heart is primarily concerned with states.

(Shortform note: It’s easy to mistake a state for a trait, especially in someone you don’t know very well. For example, if you happen to meet someone who just received upsetting news, you might think that he or she is quiet and withdrawn (traits), when in reality she is just sad (a state). In fact, confusing states with traits is so common that...

Atlas of the Heart Summary How We Relate to Ourselves

The first category of feelings we’ll examine are those relating to the self. Brown explains that many of our mental states are purely internal: They provide feedback about the current state of our lives and personal situations. Common self-focused feelings are sadness and disappointment—and, at the other end of the spectrum, happiness and pride.

When We Experience Loss: Sadness

To begin, sadness is a painful feeling that we experience in response to loss. Sadness is a fundamental human emotion—in fact, Brown says it’s one of the few states that people regularly report being able to identify.

While sadness is driven by loss (for example, of a loved one, a cherished item, or even of a comforting idea), it also implies acceptance of that loss. That makes sadness different from grief, which combines painful feelings of loss with a desire to get back what we lost, even if that’s impossible.

Sadness and Grief Are Not Depression

People commonly mistake sadness or grief for depression (and vice versa), but there are crucial differences among...

Atlas of the Heart Summary How We Relate to External Events

Some of our feelings don’t directly tell us about ourselves; rather, they’re responses to what we perceive happening around us.

When Dealing With Uncertainty: Stress and Anxiety

When events demand more of us than we feel we can give, we experience stress. For example, if you have more work on your plate than you can handle, you probably feel stressed about it. When we’re stressed, we benefit from support; we need people to ask how they can help and to take some of the work off of our plates.

In extreme cases, we can become so stressed that we can’t even function—Brown calls this state overwhelm. We’re so overloaded that we shut down physically and mentally. Others asking us what we need is not helpful here, because we might not be able to come up with an answer. The only way out of overwhelm is to take a break, disconnect, and do nothing for a while.

(Shortform note: Rest is crucial to prevent stress from growing into overwhelm or burnout. In The 5 AM Club, Robin Sharma explains that [rest actually has two crucial...

Atlas of the Heart Summary How We Relate to Other People

Our emotions don’t just give us feedback about our own lives, they also provide valuable guidance in social situations. However, Brown explains that we have to understand what they’re trying to tell us and recognize when those messages are misguided.

When used correctly and channeled into positive actions, our emotions are a powerful force of love and connection; used improperly, they cut us off from each other, leaving us divided and hateful.

When Something Is Wrong: Anger and Disgust

Anger is what we feel when something gets in the way of what we want or disrupts the way we think things are supposed to be. Brown says that anger is a highly active state—it makes us want to lash out, fix the perceived problem, and hurt whatever (or whoever) caused it.

Disgust is a strong aversion to something or someone. Brown believes that disgust stems from wanting to protect ourselves from toxic substances, but that protective instinct has somehow extended to protecting ourselves from “toxic” people and ideas.

The author adds that the combination of anger and disgust is contempt. Contempt is usually directed toward people, and it’s the belief that not only has a...

Shortform Exercise: Find Your Current State

Now that you’re more familiar with various emotional states, reflect on what you’re feeling right now. It may be helpful to start with one of the three states that Brown says people can commonly recognize—happy, sad, or mad—and try to get more specific from there.

Which of those three states best describes you right now: happy, sad, mad, or none of them?