Book Summary101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think, by Brianna Wiest

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think

It’s a simple fact that life’s full of problems and challenges that you’d rather avoid, such as dealing with irritating people or having a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re like most people, you probably assume that these experiences are to blame for negative feelings—and that the only way to make yourself feel better is to avoid such experiences.

But what if you’re going about this the wrong way? In 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think, bestselling author and poet Brianna Wiest argues that...

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think Summary Part #1: Your Thoughts Determine How You Interpret Everything

Wiest argues that the only way to change the way you feel about the people and things that make you feel bad is to change the way you think about them. To understand her argument, you first need to grasp one key idea: There’s no such thing as an objective experience—meaning that there’s no one “right” way to interpret your experiences.

Wiest explains that no experience has inherent qualities of its own—such as being good, bad, right, or wrong. You only assign these values to them because of the way you think about and interpret them. Therefore, it’s not your experiences that determine how you feel, but your thoughts about these experiences.

Your Thoughts Create Your Experiences

While many self-help authors mirror Wiest’s view that your thoughts determine how you interpret experiences, Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking) takes this idea one step further. He claims that your thoughts aren’t only a response to your experiences, but are also the cause of your experiences. He...

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think Summary Part #2: You’re Not Conscious of Your Thoughts or Why You Think Them

Since everything you experience is simply a reflection of the way you think, it follows then, that to experience things differently, you just need to change your thoughts. However, Wiest argues, before you can change your thoughts, you first need to become conscious of them and understand why you currently think the way that you do. In this second part of the guide, we’ll explain why you don’t have complete autonomy over the way you think and how this impacts the way you interpret your experiences, how you experience happiness, and how you judge yourself.

(Shortform note: Many self-help practitioners agree that understanding why you think the way that you do is the key to changing your thoughts. Without this understanding, you’re more likely to believe that your thoughts are entirely rational (because your experiences justify your thoughts), and you won’t feel motivated to change the way that you think about or interpret your experiences.)

You Subconsciously Think Like Others To Feel Happy

While you might believe that you consciously control your thoughts, Wiest claims that you’re...

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think Summary Part #3: Chasing Validation Makes You Unhappy

We’ve just explained how the mental associations you unconsciously formed as a child compel you to engage in two unhealthy thought patterns:

1. Interpreting others’ responses to you as an indication of how happy you deserve to be
2. Continually looking for ways to fix yourself so that you can elicit positive feedback—and thus feel more deserving of happiness

According to Wiest, relying on positive feedback to feel happy creates a breeding ground for unwanted experiences and negative feelings. This is because seeking validation compels you to engage in two habits that disconnect you from your true needs and make you feel powerless to change your emotions: suppressing your feelings and pursuing the wrong goals.

Let’s explore how these two habits contribute to unwanted experiences and feelings of powerlessness in more detail.

Negative Habit #1: You Suppress Your Feelings

According to Wiest, your conditioning inadvertently taught you to believe that some feelings are unacceptable or bad. As a result, you feel ashamed each time these feelings come up, pretend that you don’t feel them, and try to avoid people and situations that might trigger them. You also judge other...

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think Summary Part #4: Think for Yourself

We’ve just discussed how social conditioning influences you to think and behave in ways that leave you feeling unhappy and powerless to change your feelings. In this final part of the guide, we’ll explore ways to become more conscious of your thoughts so that you can take better control of them and improve the way you feel.

Wiest argues that, though your conditioning is pervasive, you can overcome it, learn to think for yourself, and feel better about yourself and your experiences. She suggests four methods to help you achieve this.

Method #1: Take Responsibility for Your Thoughts and Emotions

According to Wiest, before you can effectively take control of your thoughts and emotions, you first need to acknowledge that you’re the only one responsible for them. Recognizing this fact encourages you to:

• Understand how your thoughts influence the way you interpret and feel about your experiences.
• Realize when you’re giving control of your thoughts and feelings to things outside of you—for example, when you credit or blame other people or situations for your emotions.
• Explore ways to think differently about the people and things that make you feel bad—because you know...

Shortform Exercise: Practice Changing Your Thoughts

Wiest argues that unwanted experiences aren’t to blame for your bad feelings, only your thoughts about these experiences are. Developing awareness of your thoughts will help you intentionally create more positive feelings.

Describe a situation that often makes you feel bad. (For example, every time you tell your mother about your relationship problems, she takes your partner’s side and implies that you’re in the wrong.)