If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?

We all have a deep-rooted need to be loved, but often a rift opens between our romantic partners and ourselves. Why does this happen, and can anything be done?

In Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt suggest that we unconsciously seek out romantic partners to help us resolve unfinished business from our childhood. When our partners fail to meet our unconscious expectations, our relationships fall apart. To prevent this, Hendrix and Hunt designed a process to change the way couples interact, allowing them to learn about their unconscious needs and to transform their lives into a conscious, loving union.

This guide will explore the psychological principles that affect how we relate to those closest to us, what science and relationship experts reveal about how our childhoods shape our adult lives, and how a struggling couple can learn to talk to each other, heal, and grow. We’ll also examine how the authors’ approach compares to other methods of couples therapy and to the ideas of other relationship experts.

If you suffer from persistent anxiety, depression, or illness, you might be playing out trauma from your family’s past. In this case, the question to ask is not “What’s wrong with me?” but “Where did this come from?”

In It Didn’t Start With You, Mark Wolynn says the source of your suffering may lie hidden in your unconscious, where traumas from your past—and your family’s past—are stopping you from being truly happy and free. Wolynn shares the latest research to reveal how traumas get passed biologically from one generation to the next. He also describes how you can uncover and resolve deeply-rooted trauma by applying his unique therapeutic approach. By doing so, he says, you can reprogram your body, stop suffering, and start living a life you love.

In this guide, we’ll examine research that expands upon Wolynn’s claims. We’ll also consider viewpoints that challenge some of his arguments, such as the importance of reconciling with our parents and the limited effectiveness of talk therapy in treating trauma.

In Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, psychologist Lindsey Gibson dispels the myth that “parents know best,” revealing the damage that emotionally neglectful parents can do to their children. Gibson explores key features of emotionally underdeveloped parents and how their behavior impacts their children. She also provides strategies to help adults who suffered childhood emotional neglect turn their relationship with their parent from toxic to tolerable, and develop healthier emotional connections with others.

Gibson is an adult psychotherapy and personal growth counseling specialist. She wrote Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents to help survivors of emotional neglect free themselves from dysfunctional relationships with their parents and find emotional fulfillment.

In this guide we’ll look at traits of emotionally underdeveloped parents, coping mechanisms children employ to survive emotional neglect, challenges that those children face in adulthood, and strategies they can use to heal and move forward. We’ll also provide additional viewpoints on living through and moving beyond childhood emotional neglect.

Does it sometimes feel like everybody else has life figured out except you? Rachel Hollis, author of Girl, Wash Your Face, wants you to know that’s a lie. Life is messy and complicated for everyone, but once you understand that you are in control of your life, you can begin to live with passion, joy and confidence.

Aimed at women who feel overwhelmed and unworthy, Girl, Wash Your Face examines 20 lies that can hold you back from becoming who you were meant to be. Hollis details her own mistakes, traumas and life lessons, and shares with readers the strategies she used to overcome these lies and find true happiness.

In his book Reflections Of A Man, Amari Soul offers advice on cultivating healthy romantic relationships. He discusses how to identify incompatible partners and remove toxic influences from your life. Soul also emphasizes the importance of establishing high standards and not settling for less than you deserve in a romantic partner.

The book delves into understanding a woman's emotional needs in a relationship, such as open communication, affection, encouragement, and stability. Additionally, Soul shares strategies for fostering cooperation and mutual respect between partners, such as tackling problems as a team, maintaining honest dialogue, and prioritizing the relationship over personal desires.

Join Leo Skepi in "Aware & Aggravated" as he navigates the complexities of personal and emotional growth with a particular focus on understanding and managing relationships with narcissists and those with a victim complex. Drawing from his own journey of overcoming self-deception in wellness, Leo shares evidence-based strategies to counterbalance the challenges posed by self-victimization and narcissistic behaviors. Addressing questions from a listener, he provides insightful advice on achieving emotional autonomy from abusive family connections, championing self-reliance and the cultivation of healthier relationships to replace toxic ones.

In this episode, Leo doesn't stop at interpersonal relationships—he also dives into personal health, debunking fitness myths, and advocating for affordable fitness practices that promote both physical and fiscal responsibility. Moreover, he imparts the critical importance of preserving one's autonomy within romantic partnerships by adhering to personal routines and establishing clear boundaries. Leo's holistic approach extends to reinforcing resilience and independence with practical backup planning, encouraging his listeners to join a supportive community through his podcast, offering weekly content that promises continued value in their journey to self-discipline and empowerment.

Our misguided beliefs about love and relationships can be detrimental to our happiness. Couples therapist Esther Perel says we need to rethink how we define love and what we expect from our partners.

Rupi Kaur experienced oppression and abuse throughout her life. From an uncle who raped her as a child to a father who demanded she stay silent, she grew up in an environment that taught her she was worthless. However, as she grew up, her experiences with love and heartbreak taught her how to find the beauty in herself and how to heal in the face of painful experiences.

milk and honey is an award-winning collection of poems that dive into the themes of sexual assault, the complexity of relationships, and the healing power of self-love. Through her use of beautiful language, Kaur takes you on her emotional journey to love herself in the face of painful and oppressive experiences.

Does it sometimes feel like everybody else has life figured out except you? Rachel Hollis, author of Girl, Wash Your Face, wants you to know that’s a lie. Life is messy and complicated for everyone, but once you understand that you are in control of your life, you can begin to live with passion, joy and confidence.

Aimed at women who feel overwhelmed and unworthy, Girl, Wash Your Face examines 20 lies that can hold you back from becoming who you were meant to be. Hollis details her own mistakes, traumas and life lessons, and shares with readers the strategies she used to overcome these lies and find true happiness.