Podcasts > Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel > Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

By Esther Perel Global Media

In "Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel," the host herself shares the personal journey behind her shift towards a newer, more creative professional horizon. Esther Perel divulges her innermost reflections on feeling a sense of monotony in her successful therapeutic practice and how she rediscovered her passion through a transition to podcasting. Her leap into the audio realm was sparked by the desire to connect with larger audiences and infuse her work with the freshness of shared human storytelling and an exploration of intimate narratives.

Through the podcast medium, Perel has succeeded in bringing the confidential space of couples therapy to a public audience, weaving the private intricacies of relationship dynamics into emotionally charged audio episodes. The sessions, treated with the same gravitas as clinical hours, not only showcase the untold drama of couples' interactions but also foster a sense of universality among listeners. This episode takes us through the heart of Esther's family upbringing—an upbringing deeply immersed in multilingual discussions and the poignancy of survival—as these experiences have indelibly shaped her empathetic approach to understanding and illuminating the complexities of the human condition.

Say More -  Ira Glass on Is This It?

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Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

1-Page Summary

Esther's changing career focus

Esther Perel, known for her insights into human relationships, realized she needed to reinvent her career to rekindle her enthusiasm and creativity. Despite her successful therapeutic practice, she felt a sense of repetition and monotony. This dissatisfaction led her to seek new paths that would allow for more creativity and reach. Perel longed for fresh energy and engagement with larger audiences. The inspiration for change came after her TED Talk in 2013, leading her to pursue podcasting, which offered new creative potential and the excitement of collaboration.

Origin Story of Esther's Podcast

Esther Perel created a podcast to provide a glimpse into private couples therapy, turning them into compelling audio experiences. She approached her podcast sessions as if conducting clinical hours, capturing the drama and intensity of couples' therapy. She aimed to show how the dynamics of relationships are often hidden and isolated from public view. The podcast, unique in its concept, allows producers to listen in on the sessions, resulting in a deep level of intimacy and emotional impact unheard of in radio. Perel's podcast serves as a universal connection for listeners, transcending individual experiences and cultivating understanding and empathy through shared vulnerabilities.

Reflective family upbringings

Esther Perel's family played a critical role in shaping her worldview. Conversations at home spanned languages and tackled global events and people, reflecting a thoughtful space that nurtured her understanding of humanity. Education was paramount in her family, seen as a necessity and a safety net, despite her father's limited schooling. Perel's exposure to trauma through her Holocaust survivor parents and their community gave her insight into loss and survival. This environment equipped her with an early trauma training, showing her the diverse ways people cope with or struggle after traumatic experiences.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Esther Perel is a renowned psychotherapist and author known for her expertise in relationships and intimacy. She is recognized for her unique approach to addressing modern relationship challenges and her insights into the complexities of human connections. Perel's work often focuses on themes such as desire, infidelity, communication, and the impact of technology on relationships. Through her books, talks, and podcasts, she offers a fresh perspective on love, sex, and the dynamics of intimate relationships in today's society.
  • Esther Perel's podcast offers a unique insight into private couples therapy sessions, presenting them as compelling audio experiences. The podcast captures the hidden dynamics of relationships, providing a deep level of intimacy and emotional impact for listeners. It aims to foster understanding and empathy by sharing the vulnerabilities and complexities of human connections. Through this medium, Perel creates a universal connection that transcends individual experiences, inviting listeners to explore the intricacies of relationships.
  • Trauma training involves learning about the psychological impact of traumatic experiences and how to support individuals affected by such events. Coping mechanisms after traumatic experiences are strategies individuals use to manage distress, such as seeking social support, engaging in self-care activities, or therapy. These mechanisms can vary widely among individuals and may evolve over time as they process and heal from the trauma. Understanding these coping strategies is crucial in providing effective support and promoting resilience in those who have experienced trauma.

Counterarguments

  • While podcasting offers new creative potential, it may not necessarily guarantee the same depth of impact as one-on-one therapy sessions.
  • The transition from private practice to a public platform like podcasting could raise concerns about client confidentiality and the therapeutic process.
  • The podcast's format of sharing intimate therapy sessions might not be universally accepted as an appropriate or effective means of fostering understanding and empathy.
  • There is a risk that the podcast could inadvertently sensationalize personal issues for entertainment rather than solely for educational purposes.
  • The assumption that Perel's podcast serves as a universal connection might overlook the diversity of cultural and individual perspectives on relationships and therapy.
  • The focus on Perel's family's emphasis on education and multilingual conversations could inadvertently downplay the value of other forms of knowledge and communication that are not as academically centered.
  • The narrative of gaining insight into loss and survival from her family's trauma might be seen as an oversimplification of the complex and varied responses individuals have to trauma.
  • The idea that Perel's upbringing provided her with early trauma training could be challenged by the argument that professional training and clinical experience are critical to developing expertise in handling trauma.

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Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

Esther's changing career focus

Esther Perel, known for her profound insights into human relationships, reached a crossroads in her career, acknowledging the need to reinvent her professional path to regain enthusiasm and creativity.

Dissatisfaction with therapeutic practice despite success

Perel found herself waking up without the enthusiasm she once had for her work. Despite the prestige and recognition of a successful therapeutic practice, she began to sense an underlying repetition and monotony in her routine. This creeping sense of dissatisfaction prompted her to reflect deeply on her career direction.

Perel was torn between the comfort of her established role and the daunting possibility of pursuing a completely new path. The prospect of continuing in the same vein for another decade weighed heavily on her. A strong desire emerged within her to break out of the confines of her office and seek creative outlets that could reignite her passion.

Longing for creative outlets beyond office

The longing for novelty and fresh energy was a clear sign of Perel’s desire for creative expression beyond the traditional therapeutic setting. This was further fueled by her ambition to bring meaningful conversations to larger audiences, stretching beyond the reaches of her practice.

Impetus to start podcast

Opportunity for new creativity and collaboration

Her eyes were opened to new possibilities after her first TED Talk in 2013. Perel realized that while her practice impacted many lives, its reach was inherently ...

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Esther's changing career focus

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Perel's therapeutic practice involved traditional one-on-one therapy sessions with clients. The limitations of her practice included a restricted audience reach and a sense of repetition and monotony in her daily routine. This led her to seek new avenues, like starting a podcast, to engage with a broader audience and explore creative outlets beyond the confines of her office.
  • Starting a podcast involves planning the content, format, and target audience. Challenges may include technical aspects like recording equipment and editing software, as well as understanding distribution platforms like Apple ...

Counterarguments

  • While reinventing one's career path can lead to renewed enthusiasm, it also carries the risk of instability and uncertainty, which can be stressful and challenging.
  • Success in a therapeutic practice is a significant achievement, and feelings of monotony could potentially be addressed through changes within the existing framework rather than a complete career shift.
  • The comfort of an established role offers security and predictability, which are valuable to many professionals and should not be undervalued when considering a new path.
  • Creative outlets can sometimes be incorporated into one's current profession without the need for a drastic career change.
  • Expanding one's reach to larger audiences is commendable, but it is also important to consider the depth of impact, which can be profound in one-on-one therapeutic settings.
  • Starting a podcast is a popular trend, but it is not without its challenges, including market saturation and the ne ...

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Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

Origin Story of Esther's Podcast

Esther Perel found a way to translate the intimate and dramatic world of her therapy sessions into compelling audio experiences. By bringing the rawness of private consultations to the public through her podcast, she created a unique window for listeners into the otherwise private world of couples therapy.

Providing a Window into the Private Consultation Room

Esther Perel's approach to her podcast sessions is to treat them as clinical hours or consultations. Although they are a one-time event, these sessions activate the clinical part of her. Perel knew that what happened in her therapy rooms, especially with couples, was intense and filled with drama. She often referred to it as "the best theater in town." Perel recognized that most couples have no idea about the dynamic in other people's relationships and that the struggles and issues they face are often shrouded in secrecy and isolation.

Captivating Theater of Marital Sessions

For listeners, Perel's podcast sessions serve as a captivating theater of marital issues, full of emotion and narrative that draws the audience in. She believed the raw emotion of these sessions would resonate deeply with an audience, providing a sense of connection and understanding that transcends the specific issues discussed during the therapy.

Listener Identification Despite Different Issues

Despite the wide array of challenges that couples face, Perel found that listeners could identify with the emotional struggle even if the specific issues differed from their own. This connection partly emerges from hearing the vulnerability and personal struggles of others, which often echo listeners' private thoughts and feelings.

Experiment of Having Producers Listen in on Session

An unprecedented move for radio, the ...

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Origin Story of Esther's Podcast

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Esther Perel's therapy sessions are emotionally charged and intense due to the deep personal issues and vulnerabilities shared by the couples. The rawness and authenticity of these interactions create a sense of intimacy that resonates with listeners. The drama in the sessions stems from the couples' struggles and conflicts, which are often heightened by the therapeutic environment. This emotional intensity and authenticity are what make the therapy sessions compelling and impactful for both the participants and the audience.
  • Esther Perel's podcast had a profound impact on its audience by offering a unique glimpse into the intense and emotional dynamics of couples therapy sessions. Listeners connected deeply with the raw emotions and per ...

Counterarguments

  • While the podcast provides a window into couples therapy, it may not fully capture the complexity and depth of ongoing therapy sessions, which typically involve a long-term, evolving therapeutic relationship.
  • Treating podcast sessions as clinical consultations could raise ethical concerns about confidentiality, informed consent, and the potential for exploitation of participants' vulnerabilities for entertainment purposes.
  • The podcast's portrayal of marital issues as "captivating theater" might inadvertently contribute to the sensationalization of personal struggles, potentially detracting from the seriousness of the issues being discussed.
  • Listener identification with the emotional struggles presented in the podcast does not necessarily translate into actionable insights or support for their own relationship challenges.
  • The producers listening in on therapy sessions could be seen as intrusive, and their emotional reactions might not reflect the broader audience's experience, raising questions about the representativeness of their responses.
  • While the podcast aims to offer insights into couples' lives, it may not be representative of all types of relationships or the diversity of cha ...

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Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?

Reflective family upbringings

Perel offers an intimate glimpse into her family upbringing, marked by deep discussions and a profound respect for education amidst a background of survival and trauma.

Political discussions across languages and global events

Perel reflects on her family environment, which she describes as a thoughtful space. Her family engaged in discussions about a wide range of topics, including global events, and talked extensively about people. These conversations, which crossed languages, undoubtedly shaped Perel's worldview and understanding of the human condition.

Valuing education despite limited opportunities

Even though her father had only three years of formal schooling and was nearly illiterate, the importance of education was respected within her family. Perel's brother was an avid reader, an activity that was highly valued by their parents. The family's view of education was one of both necessity and potential; they encouraged Perel to pursue schooling, which they saw as beneficial for its own sake and in case she needed to assist her partner in the future. Education, within her family, was seen more as a safety net rather than a pathway to a career.

Trauma exposure through survivor communities

Perel's family was deeply affected by the Holocaust; her parents were sur ...

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Reflective family upbringings

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Perel's family upbringing was characterized by deep discussions on various topics, including global events and the human condition. Despite limited formal education, her family highly valued learning and encouraged her to pursue schooling. Growing up in a household of Holocaust survivors, Perel was exposed to traumatic experiences that shaped her understanding of loss and survival. This upbringing provided her with unique insights into trauma and resilience.
  • Perel's family members were survivors of the Holocaust, which exposed them to severe trauma. Growing up in this environment meant Perel was regularly exposed to the traumatic experiences of her family and their community. This exposure provided her with a unique understanding of loss, survival, and the challenges of recovering from intense traumatic events. Witnessing firsthand the ways individuals cope with such trauma shaped her perspective on resilience and healing.
  • Political discussions across languages can provide diverse perspectives and insights on global events. Engaging in conversations in different languages allows for a deeper understanding of various cultures and political contexts. It can also foster empathy and broaden one's worldview by exposing them to different viewpoints and interpretations. Such discussions can enhance critical thinking skills and promote a more nuanced understanding of complex political issues.
  • The family viewed education as a safety net due to their experiences with survival and trauma, p ...

Counterarguments

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