Podcasts > Unexplainable > Why do we cry?

Why do we cry?

By Vox

In the latest episode of "Unexplainable," listeners are taken on an investigative journey into the enigma of human tears with insights from Ad Vingerhoets, an expert delving into the emotional aspect of crying. What sets our tears apart from our primal need for survival? Vingerhoets's research, involving emotional inductions through films, seeks to unveil whether weeping genuinely alleviates pain or stress, shedding light on the physical and emotional responses that follow a good cry. He also explores how societal interactions and receptions of crying influence its benefits, asserting that empathy plays a crucial role in the cathartic experience of shedding tears.

The podcast further explores the societal and personal implications of crying—or the lack thereof—with a captivating narrative from Benjamin Perry, a seminary student striving to reintegrate the act of crying into his life and ministry. Perry's conscious effort to welcome tears uncovers the profound impact emotional expression has on connecting with oneself and others. His experience illustrates how crying fosters understanding and support within a community, challenging the stigmas and promoting a culture of empathy and vulnerability. The episode peers into the fascinating, yet still largely uncharted, intersection of science, sociology, and human emotion surrounding the simple, yet complex act of crying.

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Why do we cry?

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Why do we cry?

1-Page Summary

Why humans cry emotional tears

Ad Vingerhoets spearheads research to decipher why humans shed emotional tears and how it influences them. He employs films in experiments to trigger emotions and examines the consequent effects on pain perception. Vingerhoets uncovers that while sources suggest that crying might expel stress hormones or release endorphins or oxytocin, his study concludes that crying does not significantly alter pain perception. Furthermore, his multicultural study of over 5,000 individuals reveals that only about half feel better after crying. The benefits of crying appear closely tied to how others respond to it, emphasizing the importance of empathy in the crying experience.

Lack of scientific knowledge and neural studies about emotional crying

The scientific community has a limited understanding of the biological and emotional roles of crying. Despite Charles Darwin’s view that emotional tears are functionless, modern scientists are exploring this phenomenon, but there's still a lack of comprehensive neural studies and real-life observations. Concerns over not crying enough reflect broader societal implications, as it can affect personal dynamics. Vingerhoets's research finds that people who cry are perceived as more empathetic and connected, and receive more social support. Nevertheless, it also indicates that not crying does not necessarily impact well-being unless it results from suppressed emotions.

A minister trying to relearn crying and impacts on connecting with himself and community

Benjamin Perry, a seminary student, realizes that he has not cried in years, viewing it as detrimental to his emotional expression and community connection. By intentionally triggering tears daily, Perry re-engages with a diverse range of emotions and cultivates a deeper sense of authenticity. This reconnection with crying disrupts the norm, giving permission to others to display their emotions and promoting empathy. Perry shares an episode from a worship service where a choir member's crying led the congregation to pause and show compassion. His personal journey echoes in his ministry, highlighting that embracing vulnerability enriches community ties and opens space for emotional expression, previously stifled by societal norms.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Ad Vingerhoets used films in experiments to evoke emotions and studied the subsequent impact on pain perception. His research involved a multicultural study with over 5,000 participants to explore the effects of crying. Vingerhoets' findings suggest that the benefits of crying are closely linked to how others respond to it, highlighting the role of empathy in the crying experience.
  • The lack of comprehensive neural studies on emotional crying indicates a gap in scientific understanding of the biological and emotional mechanisms involved in this phenomenon. Despite ongoing exploration by modern scientists, there is still a need for more in-depth research on the neural pathways and brain regions associated with emotional crying. This lack of comprehensive studies hinders a complete grasp of how crying functions at a neurological level and its impact on emotional regulation and social interactions. Addressing this gap could provide valuable insights into the physiological and psychological aspects of crying.
  • The societal implications of not crying enough can include potential impacts on personal dynamics, emotional expression, and community connections. Not crying may affect how individuals are perceived in terms of empathy and connectedness. It can also influence the level of social support received and may lead to suppressed emotions if not addressed. Embracing vulnerability and allowing for emotional expression can enrich community ties and promote empathy within social interactions.
  • Suppressed emotions can negatively impact well-being by leading to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues. When emotions are consistently pushed down or ignored, they can manifest in harmful ways, affecting mental and emotional health. Acknowledging and processing emotions is crucial for maintaining overall well-being and preventing long-term negative consequences. Seeking support and healthy outlets for emotional expression can help prevent the detrimental effects of suppressed emotions.
  • Societal norms surrounding crying and emotional expression vary across cultures and contexts. Some societies encourage emotional expression and view crying as a healthy release, while others may perceive it as a sign of weakness. Gender norms can also play a role, with expectations differing for men and women in terms of displaying emotions publicly. Understanding these societal norms is crucial in interpreting how individuals express and perceive emotions in different settings.

Counterarguments

  • While Vingerhoets's research suggests that crying may not significantly alter pain perception, it is possible that the methodology used in these experiments may not fully capture the nuances of how crying affects individuals in various contexts or over longer periods.
  • The finding that only about half of individuals feel better after crying could be influenced by cultural, situational, or individual differences that are not fully accounted for in the research.
  • The emphasis on empathy in response to crying might overlook the complexity of social interactions and the possibility that crying can sometimes lead to discomfort or negative judgments from others.
  • The lack of comprehensive neural studies on emotional crying could mean that there are undiscovered physiological processes at play that contribute to the emotional and biological roles of crying.
  • The perception that crying makes individuals more empathetic and connected might not hold true for all cultures or social groups, where crying could be seen as a sign of weakness or be less socially acceptable.
  • The idea that not crying does not impact well-being unless it results from suppressed emotions does not consider that some individuals may have different emotional processing mechanisms that do not involve crying.
  • Benjamin Perry's approach to relearn crying and its positive effects on his emotional expression and community connection might not be generalizable, as other individuals may find different methods of emotional engagement more effective or authentic.
  • The notion that intentionally triggering tears can help engage with a diverse range of emotions could be challenged by the argument that authentic emotional experiences cannot be forced or manufactured.
  • The idea that reconnecting with crying disrupts societal norms and promotes empathy might not take into account that societal norms are complex and vary widely, and that not all societies or communities may view crying in the same way.
  • The claim that embracing vulnerability enriches community ties might not apply in all contexts, as some communities or individuals may value privacy or emotional restraint.

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Why do we cry?

Why humans cry emotional tears

Ad Vingerhoets has been leading pioneering research to better understand why humans cry and the impact it has, through extensive experiments and a multicultural study with more than 5,000 participants.

Experiments to understand the purpose and impact of crying

Vingerhoets conducted experiments to explore the reasons for human tears, utilizing films to provoke emotional responses in participants and studying the effects on their pain perception. Participants also provided detailed descriptions about their mental state and the circumstances surrounding the last instance they cried.

Theories and findings on how crying releases stress hormones or helpful brain chemicals

Research in this area has yielded various hypotheses. William H. Frey's theory likens tear glands to kidneys, suggesting that crying may serve as a detox mechanism that expels stress hormones from the body. Another idea posits that crying might trigger the release of endorphins or oxytocin—hormones linked to positive feelings—that could improve one's emotional state. However, Vingerhoets's research on whether crying affects pain perception indicated that there was no significant impact.

Finding that only about half of people actually feel better after crying

Vingerhoets's international study revealed that only around 50% of participants actually felt better after crying. This inconsistency triggers questions about the conditions that make crying cathartic for some but not for others.

How the social context and empathy from others impacts feeling bet ...

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Why humans cry emotional tears

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Crying has been theorized to potentially release stress hormones from the body, acting as a detox mechanism. Another theory suggests that crying may trigger the release of endorphins or oxytocin, which are hormones associated with positive emotions. However, research findings have shown that the impact of crying on pain perception may not be significant. The relationship between crying and the release of stress hormones or brain chemicals is still an area of ongoing study and debate in the field of emotional psychology.
  • Mirror neurons are brain cells that activate both when an individual performs an action and when they observe someone else performing the same action. This neural mechanism is believed to underlie our ability to understand and empathize with the emotions and actions of others. When we see someone crying, mirror neurons may fire in our brains, mirroring the emotional state of the crier and helping us resonate with their feelings. This process of mirroring emotions through mirror neurons can enhance our capacity for ...

Counterarguments

  • The experiments may not fully capture the complexity of real-life situations where people cry, as the controlled environment and the use of films might not elicit the same depth of emotion.
  • The self-reported nature of participants' descriptions of their mental state and circumstances could be subject to memory biases or social desirability bias.
  • The theory that crying releases stress hormones or helpful brain chemicals may be too simplistic, as the biochemical process and psychological effects of crying are likely to be more complex and not fully understood.
  • The finding that crying does not significantly affect pain perception might be limited by the type of pain measured or the experimental conditions, and may not reflect the full range of human experiences with crying and pain.
  • The statistic that only about 50% of people feel better after crying could be influenced by cultural factors, individual differences, or the specific context of each crying episode, suggesting that more nuanced research is needed.
  • The impact of social context and empathy on the emotional outcome of crying might vary greatly between individuals, a ...

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Why do we cry?

Lack of scientific knowledge and neural studies about emotional crying

People worried they don't cry enough and impacts on relationships

The podcast highlights the general lack of understanding surrounding the biological purpose and emotional significance of human crying. Reference is made to Charles Darwin's opinion that emotional tears serve no function, while mentioning that current researchers are attempting to prove otherwise. Nevertheless, the scientific grasp on emotional tears remains scant, with a paucity of laboratory studies, surveys, or extensive research into the matter. There is particularly little known about the neural activity that occurs during crying and what long-term effects it may have on individuals.

Additionally, the research on crying in daily life, outside of controlled laboratory environments, is sparse. This lack of knowledge has societal implications; people worry about their emotional expression through tears and how it affects their personal relationships. Crying researcher Ad Vingerhoets noted that he used to receive phone calls from individuals concerned about not crying enough or at expected times. This included a woman who had not cried in over 22 years and questioned whether this lack of crying was harmful to her well-being. A study showed that there was no difference in well-being between people who did not cry and regular criers—those who cried from zero to four times a month.

Despite this, the absence of tears was more problematic for interpersonal relationsh ...

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Lack of scientific knowledge and neural studies about emotional crying

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The lack of scientific knowledge and neural studies about emotional crying points to a gap in understanding the biological and emotional aspects of crying. This means that there is limited research on the physiological processes and brain activity associated with crying. The absence of comprehensive studies hinders our ability to fully grasp the purpose and effects of crying on individuals. This lack of knowledge can impact how crying is perceived in society and its implications on personal relationships.
  • Charles Darwin believed that emotional tears served no evolutionary purpose, considering them a byproduct of other physiological processes. He suggested that emotional crying was a uniquely human behavior with no clear adaptive function. Darwin's perspective on emotional tears contrasts with current research efforts seeking to understand the biological and emotional significance of crying.
  • The text mentions a lack of laboratory studies, surveys, or extensive research on emotional crying. This means there is a scarcity of scientific investigations specifically focused on understanding the biological and emotional aspects of crying. Researchers have not conducted enough systematic studies in controlled settings or gathered sufficient data through surveys to comprehensively explore the phenomenon of crying. This limited research hinders a deeper understanding of the neural processes and emotional implications associated with crying behavior.
  • Neural activity during crying involves the brain's response to emotional stimuli, triggering various regions associated with processing emotions and regulating stress. Long-term effects of crying on individuals are not extensively studied, but it is believed that regular emotional release through crying may have benefits for mental health by reducing stress and promoting emotional well-being. The exact mechanisms and specific neural pathways involved in crying and its impact over time are areas that require further research to fully understand the physiological and psychological implications.
  • Research on crying in daily life involves studying how and why people cry in their everyday experiences outside of controlled laboratory settings. This type of research aims to understand the frequency, triggers, and emotional responses associated with crying in real-world situations. It provides insights into the societal implications of crying behavior, including how it impacts personal relationships and well-being. Such studies help shed light on the role of crying in human emotional expression and social interactions.
  • Emotional expression through tears can impact relationships as it influences how individuals are perceived by others. Research suggests that people who cry are often viewed as more empathetic and connected, receiving more social support. Conversely, those who do not cry may be seen as unfeeling or cold, affecting interpersonal dynamics. The frequency of crying and individual reactions to it can shape personal relationships and influence how people interact with one another.
  • Ad Vingerhoets is a prominent psychologist known for his extensive research on crying behavior. He has focused on understanding the psychological and social aspects of crying, including its impact on relationships and well-being. Vingerhoets' work has highlighted the importance of emotional expression through tears and how it influences interpersonal dynamics. His research has contributed significantly to the field of emotion studies, shedding light on the complexities of crying and its societal implications.
  • The study mentioned in the text found that there was no difference in well-being between people who did not cry and those who cried up to four times a month. This means that the frequency of crying did not directly correlate with overall well-being in the study's participants. The absence of tears was noted to have more significant implications for interpersonal relationships rather than the well-being of the non-criers themselves. The research suggested that how individuals react to crying, rather than the act of crying itself, can influence personal relationships and social support.
  • The absence of tears can lead to misunderstandings in interpersonal relationships, as individuals who do not cry may be perceived as unemotional or cold by others, especially during moments of shared sadness. Research suggests that people who cry are often viewed as more empath ...

Counterarguments

  • While Darwin may have believed that emotional tears serve no function, it's important to consider that scientific understanding evolves, and what was believed in the past may not hold true as new research emerges.
  • The lack of laboratory studies and extensive research on emotional crying could be due to the complexity and variability of human emotions, which are difficult to measure and quantify in a controlled environment.
  • The assertion that there is little known about the neural activity during crying and its long-term effects might overlook existing neuroscientific research that has begun to explore these areas, albeit not as extensively as other topics.
  • The scarcity of research on crying in daily life could be challenged by the argument that such research is inherently challenging to conduct due to the private nature of emotional expression and the difficulty in observing genuine emotional responses outside of a laboratory setting.
  • Concerns about not crying enough and its impact on relationships might be culturally biased, as different cultures have varying norms and expectations regarding emotional expression.
  • The study mentioned that found no difference in well-being between non-criers and regular criers could be critiqued for potentially not accounting for individual differences in emotional processing and expression.
  • The idea that the absence of tears is problematic for interpersonal relationships may not consider that emotional connection and empathy can be conveyed in ways other than crying, and that some individuals may express care and empathy through different means.
  • The per ...

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Why do we cry?

A minister trying to relearn crying and impacts on connecting with himself and community

Benjamin Perry, a minister and student at Union Theological Seminary, came to a personal realization about the significance of crying in emotional expression and connection with his community.

How the disruption of crying creates empathy and gives permission for others to express emotions

Benjamin Perry, in preparing to become a minister, realized during a class exercise that he hadn't cried in over a decade and saw this as a personal failing. He felt his inability to cry impeded his emotional integrity and the fullness of his humanity, potentially affecting his connection with his future congregation.

Conducting an experiment to cry every day, Perry aimed to reconnect with his emotions. Initially, he focused on pain and trauma to induce tears but discovered over time that beauty and other profound feelings could evoke crying too. This exploration allowed Perry to experience a broader spectrum of emotions deeply, thereby improving his authenticity and strengthening his relationships.

Reflecting on his past, Perry recalls how, as a child, he cried frequently but began to suppress his tears because of internalized shame regarding his sexuality and societal associations of crying with femininity and queerness. In his quest for a stereotypically masculine identity and to avoid acknowledging his attraction to men, Perry chose to repress his emotions. However, when he embraced crying again, he found a renewed emotional depth in his life, describing it as feeling fully alive, enabling him to forge more meaningful connections.

Perry acknowledges the disruptive nature of crying, with its loudness and messiness. He found that when someone cries, especially during a time of silenced issues, it has the power to disrupt the quiet and give others permission to recognize and manifest their own emotions. This act challenges onlookers to choose between adhering to social ...

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A minister trying to relearn crying and impacts on connecting with himself and community

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Union Theological Seminary is a renowned educational institution that focuses on training individuals for careers in ministry, theology, and related fields. It is known for its academic programs, theological teachings, and its historical significance in shaping religious thought and practice. The seminary provides a platform for students to explore and deepen their understanding of faith, spirituality, and social justice issues. Located in New York City, Union Theological Seminary has a rich tradition of fostering critical thinking and preparing future religious leaders for diverse communities.
  • Internalized shame regarding sexuality is the process where individuals adopt negative societal beliefs about their sexual orientation, leading to feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or unworthiness. This can occur when societal norms stigmatize certain sexual identities, causing individuals to internalize these prejudices and feel ashamed of their own feelings or desires. It often results in individuals suppressing or hiding their true selves to conform to societal expectations, impacting their emotional well-being and self-acceptance. Overcoming internalized shame involves challenging and unlearning these negative beliefs to embrace one's authentic identity without fear or judgment.
  • Societal associations of crying with femininity and queerness stem from traditional gender norms that prescribe certain behaviors as more acceptable for women and LGBTQ+ individuals. Crying has been historically linked to femininity and seen as a sign of weakness or lack of control, reinforcing stereotypes about emotional expression. This association can lead to individuals, like the minister in the text, feeling pressured to suppress their tears to conform to societal expectations of masculinity.
  • Crying can be disruptive due to its emotional intensity, often breaking the silence and challenging societal norms. The act of crying can be loud and messy, drawing attention and potentially making others uncomfortable. When someone cries, it can disrupt the status quo, prompting others to confront their own emotions and reactions. This disruption can lead to a deeper understanding of shared humanity and foster empathy within a community.
  • The choir member's emotional outburst during a worship service was significant as it disrupted the usual flow of the se ...

Counterarguments

  • While crying can be a powerful tool for emotional expression, it is not the only way to connect authentically with oneself or a community. Other forms of emotional expression, such as writing, art, or verbal communication, can also be effective.
  • The idea that not crying is a personal failing may be too harsh a judgment. Different people have different emotional responses, and not everyone expresses emotions through tears.
  • The emphasis on crying as a means to improve emotional integrity could inadvertently pressure individuals who naturally cry less to force an emotional response that does not come naturally to them.
  • The narrative that crying is associated with femininity and queerness could reinforce stereotypes, even though the intention is to challenge them. It's important to recognize that people of all genders and sexual orientations can and do express emotions in various ways, including crying.
  • The disruption caused by crying in public spaces, such as during a worship service, might not always be appropriate or welcomed by others. Some may prefer to maintain a certain decorum in communal settings and might find public displays of emotion uncomfortable or distracting.
  • The idea that crying gives permission for others to express their emotions could be seen as suggesting that people need external ...

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