E522 Tommy Lee
In this episode of the This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von podcast, Tommy Lee shares personal stories from his youth, including early interests, experimental drug use, and losing his virginity. Lee opens up about the challenges of fame and striking a balance between privacy and publicity as artists.
He reflects on his marriages, sharing insights into the dynamics and priorities in his current relationship with Brittany. Lee also discusses the shifts in the music industry, contrasting the demands and excesses of the past rockstar lifestyle with today's climate, including evolving fan-artist dynamics and creative constraints.
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1-Page Summary
Personal histories and life experiences
In a revealing conversation, Tommy Lee opens up about pivotal moments from his youth, including his early passion for tap dancing and ballet which faced peer ridicule. Tommy also recounts losing his virginity as a teen, sneaking around with a neighborhood girl, and nearly getting caught. He shares stories of experimenting with drugs like LSD and absinthe at a young age.
Tommy and host Theo discuss the challenges of fame and maintaining identity as successful artists, lamenting the loss of mystery and intimacy in today's industry compared to the past when information about artists was more limited, cultivating a sense of fascination and aura.
Relationships and family life
Tommy speaks with pride about collaborating musically with his sons, finding fulfillment in their shared passion. He mentions building his dream home to provide comfort for his wife Brittany, who has a fear of travel.
Reflecting on his multiple marriages, Tommy highlights the playfulness and friendship he shares with Brittany, now his longest relationship. He emphasizes the importance of these elements in a healthy partnership.
The music industry, past and present
Intense demands of rockstar life
Tommy shares insights into Mötley Crüe's drug use as a coping mechanism, recounting dangerous behaviors and the band's supportive journey through rehab together. He stresses the physical toll of drumming and necessity of sobriety for peak performances.
Shifts in fan-artist dynamics
Comparing past to present, Tommy misses the sense of anticipation and discovery that came with limited artist information, unlike today's oversharing. He appreciates the creative freedom and experimentation of the past music scene, contrasting it with the more formulaic, corporate landscape now.
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Actionables
- Explore a new hobby that's outside your comfort zone to foster personal growth and resilience against societal norms, much like someone might do with tap dancing or ballet in a culture that doesn't traditionally value those arts. Start with something small, like a dance class or a pottery workshop, to gradually build your confidence in areas that aren't typically celebrated in your social circles.
- Create a playlist of music from different eras and genres to cultivate an appreciation for the evolution of music and the sense of mystery and discovery that used to accompany new releases. As you listen, jot down notes about how each song makes you feel and any curiosities it sparks, aiming to recapture the anticipation of exploring unknown artists.
- Foster deeper connections in your relationships by scheduling regular "play dates" with your partner or friends, focusing on activities that encourage laughter and bonding. This could be anything from a board game night to a spontaneous road trip, with the goal of strengthening your relationships through shared experiences and joy, much like the playfulness and friendship emphasized in healthy partnerships.
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Personal histories and life experiences
In an intimate conversation, Tommy Lee opens up about the pivotal moments from his youth, while also discussing with host Theo the complexities of fame and maintaining individuality as a successful artist.
Tommy Lee reflects on pivotal moments and experiences from his youth, including his early forays into dance and the performing arts.
Tommy Lee shares his early passion for dance, recounting how tap dancing appealed to him because it was rhythmic, much like drumming with his feet. He also joined ballet, attracted by the presence of beautiful girls, but experienced a downside to his interests. After being featured in a local paper dancing with a girl in tights, Tommy faced ridicule from his peers at school. Despite finding fulfillment in dance, he succumbed to the mockery and peer pressure, quitting the day after his recital. This ridicule contrasted sharply with the irony he saw in his classmates, who were themselves engaging in homoerotic behavior in the locker room.
Tommy recounts how he lost his virginity as a young teenager, sneaking around with a neighborhood girl and nearly getting caught by his sister.
Tommy's first sexual encounter was somewhat furtive and incredibly close to home, engaging with his next-door neighbor, Brenda, also his sister's best friend. The event took place in a soundproof room his father had built in the garage, providing a secret spot for their tryst. Despite planning for privacy, the experience was abruptly interrupted when his sister walked in on them, leading to Tommy and Brenda being placed on restriction, relegated to only waving at each other from their bedrooms.
Tommy shares stories of his first encounters with drugs and alcohol, including experimenting with LSD and absinthe.
As a teenager, Tommy's experimental phase saw him trying LSD for the first time at 13. A schoolgirl provided the drug, and he recalls the intense experience, including the precarious challenge of looking into a mirror while under the influence. Tommy also talks about the time he and Marilyn Manson drank a particular type of purple absinthe in Europe, which induced hallucinations. He describes the drink's ritualistic preparation involving lighting and melting sugar cubes into the absinthe.
Tommy and Theo discuss the ...
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Personal histories and life experiences
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Explore your creative side by enrolling in a local dance or performing arts workshop to reconnect with youthful passions and discover new forms of self-expression.
- Taking a class can reignite the excitement of learning and performing, similar to the experiences that shape artists during their formative years. You might find a new hobby or even a hidden talent that brings joy and fulfillment to your life.
- Create a personal travel challenge by planning a solo trip to a nearby city or unfamiliar area using only public transportation and offline maps.
- This can help you overcome feelings of being "geographically challenged" and improve your navigation skills. The experience will teach you self-reliance and adaptability, which are valuable in many aspects of life.
- Start a digital detox by setting aside specific times during the week when you disconnect from social media and ...
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Relationships and family life
Tommy Lee opens up about the profound elements of his personal life, ranging from the joys and difficulties of fatherhood to the insights from his marriages and the dynamics of his current relationship.
Tommy discusses the joys and difficulties of becoming a father.
Working with his sons in music
Tommy Lee speaks with great pride and emotional depth about the experience of collaborating musically with his sons. He shares how fulfilling it is to see his children share his passion for music and acting, and he emphasizes the deep gratification of working together with them in the studio.
Building a dream home for comfort
Lee's wife, Brittany, has a significant fear of travel, which has influenced their lifestyle. Lee mentions that, despite booking beautiful getaways, her fear often leads them to cancel trips if there isn't a hospital nearby. This challenge has steered the couple towards focusing on building their dream home, aiming to create a space of comfort and security for Brittany.
Tommy reflects on his marriages and relationships over the years.
A journey through multiple marriages
Tommy Lee reflects on his marriage history, noting that his current relationship with Brittany Furlan is now his longest at over seven years. Though technically marrie ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Relationships and family life
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can explore a shared hobby with your children to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories. Start by identifying a common interest, whether it's cooking, gardening, or even a simple board game, and set aside regular time each week to engage in this activity together. This not only fosters a sense of teamwork but also allows for quality time that's both fun and meaningful.
- You can create a personal sanctuary at home that reflects your comfort and style preferences, especially if you're not fond of traveling. Begin by listing elements that make you feel at peace, such as a particular style of decor, types of plants, or even a dedicated space for relaxation like a reading nook. Then, take small steps to incorporate these elements into your living space, transforming it into a haven that mirrors your dream destination.
- You can prioritize playfulness and friendship ...
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The music industry, past and present
Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe and Theo Von dive into the past and present of the music industry, reflecting on the changes in how bands tour, connect with fans, and face the personal challenges of the rockstar lifestyle.
Tommy shares insights into the intense demands and challenges of being in a successful band like Mötley Crüe
Tommy discusses the harsh realities of life on the road with Mötley Crüe, from the imminent dangers of drug use to the physical rigors of performing.
Tommy describes the band's drug use and partying as a cohesive coping mechanism, with the members supporting each other through rehab
Sharing stark depictions of their drug-fueled past, Tommy recounts instances of dangerous behavior, such as intravenously shooting Jack Daniels and taking halcyons before nights out. He reflects on the pivotal moment when the band realized the peril they were in, which led to a unanimous decision to enter rehab. While they went to different facilities in 1989—with Tommy attending Cottonwood in Tucson—he emphasizes the importance of going through the process as a band. Even in rehab, the sense of brotherhood was crucial; Tommy cites the significant support they provided one another during recovery.
Tommy emphasizes the physical toll of drumming and the need to stay sober and focused in order to deliver live performances
Tommy illuminates the demanding physicality of drumming, stressing that sobriety is essential to maintain the stamina and focus required for live performances. He admits that past shows, initially thought to be well-executed while under the influence, were far less than stellar upon later viewing. This realization led to a commitment to sobriety for the sake of his health and the quality of the band's concerts.
Tommy compares the music industry of the past to the present day, lamenting the loss of mystery and intimacy
Tommy and Theo dive into the shifts in fan-artist dynamics and the nature of music consumption, expressing nostalgia for the days of enigma and creativity.
Tommy misses the sense of anticipation and discovery that came with limited information about artists, unlike the oversharing of today
They reminisce about an era where fans eagerly awaited new releases and details about their favorite artists were scarce, invoking a sense of intrigue and curiosity. He cites Prince as an artist who successfully curated an aura of mystique, leaving fans always desiring more. To ...
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The music industry, past and present
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While Tommy Lee emphasizes the importance of sobriety for performance quality, some might argue that certain artists have been able to create and perform music effectively while under the influence, suggesting that the relationship between substance use and creativity can be complex and individual.
- The notion that the past music industry allowed for more creative freedom and experimentation could be countered by pointing out that many modern artists also push boundaries and innovate, often using new technologies and platforms to do so.
- The idea that the modern music industry is more formulaic and corporate might be challenged by highlighting the rise of independent artists and labels that operate outside of the traditional corporate structure, fostering a diverse and vibrant music scene.
- While Tommy laments the loss of mystery due to the oversharing culture of today, others might argue that the increased transparency and connection between artists and fans can lead to more meaningful fan experiences and a deeper understanding of the music.
- The criticism of the current flood of music making it hard to keep up might be met with the argument that the abundance of music available today allows for greater choice and accessibility for fans, enabling them to discover a wider variety of music than e ...
Actionables
- You can create a personal 'unplugged' music experience by hosting a small, intimate live music session with local artists to recapture the sense of anticipation and discovery. Invite musicians to perform acoustic sets in a cozy setting, such as your living room or backyard, and encourage them to share stories behind their songs, fostering a deeper connection between the artist and audience.
- Develop a 'mystery music month' where you explore new and old music without using streaming algorithms. Start by selecting a genre or era you're unfamiliar with, then purchase or borrow physical music formats like vinyl or CDs from that category, and dedicate time each day to listening and researching the artists. This approach encourages a more active and involved experience with music, akin to the anticipation Tommy Lee described.
- To support the authenticity in music, you can actively participate in fan-funded platforms where emerging ...
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