193 / TIWW Classic - People Pleasing & Being Needy with Mara Glatzel

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of interacting with ourselves and others that’s rooted in empathy and compassion. The ultimate goal of NVC is to foster authentic connections between people regardless of their differences. That focus on human connections makes NVC a powerful conflict resolution tool—once there is a genuine human connection, the original problem tends to solve itself. You can use NVC in almost any relationship or environment, including in families, schools, governments, businesses, and personal relationships. NVC can also help you reshape your inner dialogue to promote self-compassion, improving your relationship with yourself.

You may have heard of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, usually presented as a pyramid, in which he lays out the basic needs people must meet in order to reach their full potential. In Transcend, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman argues that Maslow’s ideas about this “pyramid” of needs are largely misunderstood, and he provides an updated view that’s more in line with modern science and Maslow’s full body of work.

In this guide, we’ll go over the basics of Maslow’s work, and we’ll examine Kaufman’s updated hierarchy of needs, which he splits into two categories: security and growth. We’ll explore how you can meet your needs and realize your full potential. Then, we’ll explore how you can transcend your personal needs, simultaneously fulfilling them while reaching beyond them. Throughout the guide, we’ll provide a deeper understanding of Kaufman’s ideas by examining the works of other psychologists and critiques of Maslow’s ideas and presenting research from the fields of psychology, sociology, and neuroscience.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of interacting with ourselves and others that’s rooted in empathy and compassion. The ultimate goal of NVC is to foster authentic connections between people regardless of their differences. That focus on human connections makes NVC a powerful conflict resolution tool—once there is a genuine human connection, the original problem tends to solve itself. You can use NVC in almost any relationship or environment, including in families, schools, governments, businesses, and personal relationships. NVC can also help you reshape your inner dialogue to promote self-compassion, improving your relationship with yourself.

Do you want to make your life better? Are you struggling in your personal or professional life, your interactions with other people, your life balance, or your life’s purpose?

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides an inside-out approach to improving yourself and your life. This method entails examining and adjusting your character, your motives, and how you see the world in order to change how you behave and how you interact with others. Learn how to best focus your time, define your personal mission, and build productive relationships with other people.

You may have heard of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, usually presented as a pyramid, in which he lays out the basic needs people must meet in order to reach their full potential. In Transcend, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman argues that Maslow’s ideas about this “pyramid” of needs are largely misunderstood, and he provides an updated view that’s more in line with modern science and Maslow’s full body of work.

In this guide, we’ll go over the basics of Maslow’s work, and we’ll examine Kaufman’s updated hierarchy of needs, which he splits into two categories: security and growth. We’ll explore how you can meet your needs and realize your full potential. Then, we’ll explore how you can transcend your personal needs, simultaneously fulfilling them while reaching beyond them. Throughout the guide, we’ll provide a deeper understanding of Kaufman’s ideas by examining the works of other psychologists and critiques of Maslow’s ideas and presenting research from the fields of psychology, sociology, and neuroscience.

What’s the key to a happy relationship? In Attached, psychiatrist Dr. Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller argue that the secret is understanding attachment styles: the different ways that people express and perceive romantic intimacy.

In this guide, you’ll learn what attachment styles are and how you can use your knowledge of them to find a good relationship—or improve the one you already have. You’ll also discover the hidden dynamics that play a starring role in your relationship conflicts, even if you’re just fighting about who’ll make dinner. Along the way, you’ll also discover the latest research regarding attachment and discover practical tips from other psychologists so you can have the best relationship possible.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of interacting with ourselves and others that’s rooted in empathy and compassion. The ultimate goal of NVC is to foster authentic connections between people regardless of their differences. That focus on human connections makes NVC a powerful conflict resolution tool—once there is a genuine human connection, the original problem tends to solve itself. You can use NVC in almost any relationship or environment, including in families, schools, governments, businesses, and personal relationships. NVC can also help you reshape your inner dialogue to promote self-compassion, improving your relationship with yourself.

What’s the secret to a happy long-term relationship? If you’re regularly fighting with your partner or just feeling a little bored, staying happy may seem easier said than done. But maintaining a happy romantic relationship isn’t as difficult as it can seem—as long as you’re armed with the right knowledge.

In this Master Guide, we’ll draw from the work of 11 relationship experts—including renowned relationship researchers John and Julie Schwartz Gottman and noted couples therapist Esther Perel—to lay out the secrets to maintaining a happy romantic relationship. We’ll discuss the importance of understanding your needs and your partner’s and share the experts’ tips for sustaining both emotional and physical intimacy. We’ll also explain why conflict can ruin your relationship—and describe how to handle conflict effectively so that it doesn’t.

Do you pride yourself on being the nicest guy in the world? Does your fear of disapproval lead you to people-please, avoid conflict, and repress parts of yourself? If this sounds like you, you might be what Dr. Robert Glover calls a Nice Guy. No More Mr. Nice Guy, by marriage and family psychotherapist Dr. Robert Glover, helps you understand and conquer the frustrating—and often manipulative—Nice Guy mindset so that you can become a fully realized and self-accepting “Ideal Man.”

This guide will explore the “Nice Guy” and the origins of his mindset, as well as the roadblocks that perpetuate his unproductive life approach and specific strategies to overcome them. We’ll also compare Glover’s work to various texts on masculinity and self-acceptance while integrating both scientific and historical research to support (or refute) his anecdotal findings.

Have you ever found yourself saying yes when you really meant no? Or perhaps you've noticed the weight of unspoken resentment while agreeing to something that you don’t want to do…again? If these scenarios strike a chord, you're not alone. In Not Nice, psychologist Aziz Gazipura critiques our cultural fixation on niceness, suggesting that both individuals and society would benefit from being less nice. Gazipura aims to free people from the trap of constant people-pleasing and empower them to build meaningful connections, all while maintaining a healthy focus on their own well-being and needs.

In this guide, we’ll explain how Gazipura defines “nice” and why he believes being nice is such a problem. We’ll go into more detail about what nice looks like in action and outline how you can stop being nice in your personal and professional life. We’ll also add to Gazipura’s argument by exploring how culture and gender shape our understanding of niceness and explain how it’s possible to stop being nice while still being kind.

In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie explores codependency and how it affects people’s lives. A self-help classic and the book that inspired codependency 12 Step Programs around the country, Codependent No More provides explanations, advice, and compassion for people struggling with codependency.

In this guide, we’ll explore Beattie’s main principles, including detachment, self-care, and personal responsibility. We’ll compare Beattie’s ideas with other relationship perspectives, such as the positive view of attachment presented in Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Finally, we’ll supplement Beattie’s advice with that of modern psychologists and self-help experts, providing concrete steps for you to start living for yourself again.