Podcasts > Therapy Gecko > “I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

By Lyle Forever

In this episode of the Therapy Gecko podcast, the discussion centers around personal struggles with substance abuse, mental health issues, and the impact they can have on family life. One caller shares his harrowing experiences with drug addiction, including hallucinations and paranoia, as well as his fears about seeking therapy due to potential custody repercussions.

Another caller sheds light on the complexities of navigating an unexpected custody battle, highlighting the psychological toll such disputes can take on families. The episode also touches on the power of social connections and community support, exploring how bonds forged online can lead to meaningful relationships and help individuals overcome challenges like addiction.

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“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

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“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

1-Page Summary

Drug Use and Mental Health Issues

Caller #2 speaks about his harrowing drug addiction which leads to severe paranoia and hallucinations. His drug-induced experiences include auditory hallucinations and a persistent belief that others intend to harm him. This causes him significant distress, though he fears seeking therapy because of possible repercussions, such as losing custody of his children. In a vulnerable admission, he reveals that he is under the influence of tranquilizers during the call, emphasizing the serious nature of his addiction. His drug use profoundly impacts his family life, leaving him feeling ashamed and estranged from his son. He is eagerly looking forward to quitting, driven by the added responsibility of expecting a new baby.

Following Caller #2, his wife Caller #3 provides her own account, shedding a new light on his struggles. She corrects the frequency of his drug use, noting it only happens every few months. Importantly, she asserts that he never uses drugs around their children, always waiting until after they are asleep.

Custody Battle Over Caller #3's Son

Caller #3 is embroiled in an unexpected and serious custody battle for her son, as her child's father, 'Biodad', levels accusations of abuse against her and her husband. The accusations come as a shock after years of peaceful co-parenting, during which they shared friendly exchanges. The sudden accusation has resulted in Biodad seeking full custody, wanting the child to live exclusively with him.

The psychological toll of the custody dispute is palpable as Caller #2 worries that his own therapeutic sessions could compromise the custody of his stepson. While seeking to work through the paranoia and issues caused by his drug use with a therapist, Caller #2 is deeply concerned that being open about his struggles in therapy might attract the attention of Child Protective Services (CPS), jeopardizing the current family setup and potentially leading to the loss of his stepson.

Relationships and Community

The story of Caller #2 and Caller #3 underscores the potential of social media to create meaningful connections. Their relationship blossomed from digital interactions on Facebook, where they initially supported each other through personal challenges. A particularly transformative aspect of their connection is Caller #2's support of Caller #3 through her battle with heavy alcohol use, which was instrumental in her recovery.

The couple's bond deepened when Caller #3 moved in with Caller #2 after facing an eviction, an arrangement that eventually led to marriage. They now share a committed life, with Caller #2 being lauded as a devoted father. Their commitment extends beyond emotional support to providing a strong education for their children, with Caller #3 actively homeschooling them to supplement their learning. Their story is also that of a blended family, with Caller #2 having a child from a previous relationship. Despite the challenges this could present, their narrative exemplifies how a blended family can thrive with dedication and love.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Caller #2 and Caller #3 initially connected on Facebook, where they supported each other through personal challenges. Their digital interactions evolved into a meaningful relationship that eventually led to them living together, getting married, and forming a blended family. This online connection played a pivotal role in their journey towards recovery and building a committed life together.
  • Caller #2 supported Caller #3 through her battle with heavy alcohol use by providing emotional support and encouragement during her recovery process. This support was crucial in helping Caller #3 overcome her struggles with alcohol and move towards a healthier lifestyle. Caller #2's understanding and assistance played a significant role in strengthening their relationship and fostering a supportive environment for Caller #3's recovery journey.
  • Caller #3 moving in with Caller #2 after facing eviction signifies that Caller #3 had to leave her previous residence due to being unable to pay rent or facing other circumstances that led to her losing her housing. This action of moving in with Caller #2 could have been a result of seeking shelter, support, or a new living arrangement during a challenging time. It implies a significant change in living situation and potentially a deepening of their relationship.
  • Caller #2 is worried that being open about his struggles with drug addiction in therapy could attract the attention of Child Protective Services (CPS), potentially leading to the loss of custody of his stepson. This fear stems from the concern that his drug use and mental health issues might be viewed negatively by authorities, impacting his ability to care for his stepson. The custody battle and the accusations of abuse from the child's biological father have heightened Caller #2's anxiety about how his therapy sessions could be perceived in the context of the ongoing legal dispute. This situation underscores the complex interplay between personal struggles, mental health treatment, and legal implications in family dynamics.
  • Caller #2 fears losing custody of his children if he seeks therapy due to concerns that his struggles with drug addiction and mental health issues may be reported to Child Protective Services (CPS). In some cases, seeking therapy and discussing substance abuse or mental health problems openly can trigger mandatory reporting laws that require therapists to report potential risks to children's well-being. This fear stems from the possibility that his admission of drug use and mental health challenges could be used against him in custody proceedings, leading to potential legal repercussions. The complex interplay between seeking help for personal issues and the legal implications in custody battles can create a challenging dilemma for individuals like Caller #2.
  • Caller #2's drug-induced experiences, such as auditory hallucinations and paranoia, are common symptoms associated with substance abuse, particularly with drugs that affect the brain's chemistry. Auditory hallucinations involve hearing sounds or voices that are not real, while paranoia is an intense fear or suspicion of others. These experiences can be distressing and impact one's perception of reality, often leading to significant emotional distress and challenges in daily functioning. It's important to seek professional help to address these symptoms and work towards recovery.

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“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

Drug Use and Mental Health Issues

Lyle Drescher hosts a caller who shares his personal struggle with drug addiction and the resulting mental health issues.

Caller #2 discusses his struggles with drug addiction and the paranoia and hallucinations he experiences while high

Caller #2 opens up about the paranoia and hallucinations he encounters when high, such as believing that people are trying to ruin his life. He also mentions hearing things while on drugs, which adds to his distress. Despite his desire to discuss these issues with a therapist, he is reluctant due to fears of potential consequences, including the possibility of losing his children.

He admits to currently being high on tranquilizers during the call

Remarkably, Caller #2 discloses that he is high on tranquilizers during the conversation, illustrating the gravity of his situation.

He talks about the negative impacts of his drug use on his family life and his desire to quit

Caller #2 is candid about the negative effects of his drug use on his family life. He admits feeling embarrassed after using, to the point where he can’t look his son in the eye. Compounded by constant thoughts about drugs and dreams so vivid they feel unsettling, he expresses a strong desire to quit. His urgency is further fueled by the anticipation of a new baby.

Caller #2's wife (Caller #3) provides her perspective and clarifications on his drug use ...

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Drug Use and Mental Health Issues

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Caller #2 fears potential consequences when discussing his drug addiction and mental health issues with a therapist, such as the therapist reporting his drug use to authorities or child protective services, which could lead to legal repercussions or the loss of custody of his children. This fear is common among individuals struggling with substance abuse, as they may worry about the impact of seeking help on their personal and familial life.
  • Caller #2's drug use exacerbates his mental health issues, leading to paranoia, hallucinations, and distress. The substances he consumes contribute to his belief that others are plotting against him and intensify his feelings of unease. These experiences impact his family life and fuel his desire to quit using drugs. The combination of drug-induced symptoms and their effects on his relationships underscores the complex interplay between substance abuse and mental health challenges.
  • Caller #2's urgency to quit his drug use is heightened by the anticip ...

Counterarguments

...

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“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

Custody Battle Over Caller #3's Son

A family finds themselves embroiled in a complex and emotional legal situation as allegations rock the balance of their co-parenting landscape.

Caller #3 describes how her son's biological father has accused her and Caller #2 of abuse in an attempt to get full custody

Caller #3 finds herself in the midst of a legal proceedings concerning the custody of her oldest child. After a period of what seemed to be amicable co-parenting, the child's biological father, referred to as "Biodad," has brought forth an accusation of abuse against her. This claim emerged unexpectedly, considering the previously good relationship they all maintained, including casual chats during child drop-offs.

This accusation came suddenly after years of a good co-parenting relationship

The sudden shift in the co-parenting dynamics has taken a toll on Caller #3 and her family. Their previous understanding and communication had given way to acusations and a push by the biological father to obtain full custody, desiring the child to live with him 100% of the time.

Caller #2 worries talking to his therapist about his issues could risk his stepson being taken away

Compounding the stress of the cust ...

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Custody Battle Over Caller #3's Son

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Caller #3 is the mother of the child involved in the custody battle. Caller #2 is Caller #3's partner. The biological father, referred to as "Biodad," is the child's biological father and is involved in the custody dispute with Caller #3. The relationship dynamics involve a shift from amicable co-parenting to accusations and a legal battle for custody.
  • Caller #2 is dealing with personal challenges related to drug use and paranoia. These issues have arisen during the custody battle involving Caller #3's son. Caller #2 is worried that discussing these struggles in therapy could lead to Child Protective Services getting involved, potentially impacting the custody arrangement.
  • Child Protective Services (CPS) is a government agency responsible for investigating allegations of child abuse or neglect. If concerns are raised during a ...

Counterarguments

  • The biological father's sudden accusation of abuse may be based on new information or concerns that were not previously apparent.
  • It is possible that the biological father genuinely believes the child is in danger and is acting in what he perceives to be the child's best interest.
  • The good co-parenting relationship in the past does not necessarily preclude the possibility of issues arising later that could affect the child's well-being.
  • Caller #2's fear of therapy repercussions might be unfounded, as therapy is typically a confidential process, and therapists are trained to handle sensitive information with care.
  • Seeking therapy could be seen as a resp ...

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“I WAS A DRUNK MALL ELF”

Relationships and Community

Building Connections Through Social Media

Unexpected connections can have profound impacts on individuals' lives, especially through modern platforms like social media. Two callers on the show offer insights into their personal journey from strangers to a close-knit family, showcasing the potential of digital platforms to foster significant relationships.

From Online Encounters to a Supportive Relationship

Caller #2 and Caller #3 share how their partnership came into being, beginning with an unexpected encounter on Facebook. Caller #3 opened up about her past traumas to Caller #2 who, in turn, provided her with substantial support. One critical area of their life together where Caller #2's support shines is in helping Caller #3 overcome heavy alcohol use.

Building a Life and Family Together

Their relationship developed further as Caller #3 moved in with Caller #2 after being kicked out of her previous living situation. She never left and the couple eventually got married. Caller #3 is full of praise for Caller #2, describing him as a doting and amazing father to their children, highlighting the strength of their bond and the stable family life they have built together.

Commitment to Family and Education

The family's commitment to their children's well-being extends to ...

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Relationships and Community

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The transition from online encounters to living together and marriage can seem sudden due to the condensed nature of the text. It's common for relationships to progress rapidly in certain circumstances, especially when strong emotional connections are formed. Factors like shared values, mutual support, and a deep bond can accelerate the pace of a relationship, leading to significant life changes in a relatively short period. The text highlights the key moments and aspects of the relationship, showcasing the impact of digital platforms in fostering meaningful connections that can evolve quickly into more committed partnerships.
  • Blended families are formed when two people with children from previous relationships come together to create a new family unit. Challenges in blended families can include adjusting to new family dynamics, managing relationships with ex-partners, and helping children adapt to new siblings and parental figures. Communication, flexibility, and patience are crucial for successfully navigating the complexities of blended family life. Each blended family is unique, and the process of blending households can require time and effort to establish harmony and a sense of belonging ...

Counterarguments

  • Social media connections can be superficial and may not always lead to meaningful relationships.
  • The success of relationships initiated through social media may not be representative of the majority of such encounters.
  • The support provided by Caller #2 is commendable, but it's important to recognize that overcoming substance abuse often requires professional help in addition to personal support.
  • Moving in with someone after being kicked out of a previous living situation could be seen as a decision made out of necessity rather than a purely romantic progression.
  • While homeschooling can be beneficial, it is not always the best educational choice for every child, and the value of formal education with trained educators should not be underestimated.
  • The narrative of Caller #2 being a doting and amazing father is positive, but it's important to acknowledge that parenting is complex and challenging, and all parents have areas where they can improve.
  • Blended families c ...

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