174. Retroactive jealousy

Many people engage in self-sabotaging patterns that prevent them from being happy. Despite their efforts to change, they end up reverting to their unwanted behaviors and feel powerless to adopt healthier patterns.

In How to Do the Work, holistic psychologist and bestselling author Nicole LePera argues that you can live a healthier, happier life by taking control of your self-destructive patterns. According to her, such patterns stem from unresolved childhood traumatic experiences. Therefore, the key to overcoming unwanted patterns lies in addressing these traumas.

This guide discusses LePera’s advice for overcoming self-sabotaging patterns. You’ll come away with the tools to:

• Understand the root cause of your self-sabotaging patterns
• Become more conscious of how childhood conditioning impacts your mental and physical health
• Develop positive patterns that improve your well-being
• Feel happier, healthier, and more in control of your life

Additionally, we’ll expand upon each of LePera’s ideas with research, advice, and actionable ideas from psychologists and self-improvement practitioners.

Even though we’re all human, most of us don’t understand what drives people (including ourselves) to feel and behave the way we do. In The Laws of Human Nature, author Robert Greene looks at several laws that explain, among other things, why we self-sabotage, behave differently in groups, and want the wrong things.

Armed with the knowledge of these fundamentals of human nature, you can manage toxic people, become more empathetic, make people like you, and control your own nature.

In the compelling episode, "Feeling Like A Burden & Being Scared To Take Up Space," of the "Aware & Aggravated" podcast, Leo Skepi delves into the labyrinthine emotions tied to self-worth and the impact of relationship dynamics. As Skepi guides his listeners through the struggles of feeling like a nuisance, he uncovers the paradox of being both burdensome and beneficial within personal connections, inviting a reconsideration of one's intrinsic value beyond the impressions cast by early childhood experiences.

Leo doesn’t just expose the deep-seated roots of self-doubt; he also offers insights into breaking such cycles and cultivating healthier relationships influenced by proactive communication. He stresses the importance of assertiveness and actively participating in one’s own life and that of others to dispel fears of taking up space. Wrapping up with heartwarming anecdotes on the transformative power of unconditional friendship and genuine exchange, Leo's conversation extends beyond the podcast, fostering audience engagement and creating a space for feedback through social media interaction and recommended product experiences that resonate with the themes of self-worth and meaningful connections.

Jack Canfield struck gold as a co-author of the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, but it took years for him to achieve success. In The Success Principles, he details 67 principles to help anyone achieve their goals and dreams, based on his study and interviews with hundreds of successful people. The basic formula for success is to identify what you want, know that you deserve to have it, and use the book’s principles to get you there.

The book's Principles include taking responsibility for your life, setting goals and visualizing success, facing your fears, forgiving others so you can move forward, asking for and graciously receiving feedback, and appreciating your successes.

Brené Brown believes that the key to fulfillment is pursuing wholeheartedness—a way of life that fosters self-worth and emphasizes being brave, caring for yourself and others, and cultivating meaningful relationships. Living wholeheartedly requires you to embrace and express your authentic self. However, doing so makes you vulnerable—you may face painful experiences like rejection, loss, and heartbreak. If left unaddressed, these experiences cause emotional setbacks that can keep you from living wholeheartedly. In Rising Strong, Brown explains that to rebuild wholeheartedness after setbacks, you must recover emotionally.

In this guide, we’ll start by explaining why it’s important to take control of your recovery. Then, we’ll explore the three stages of Brown’s recovery process—confronting your strong feelings, exploring why they occurred, and identifying how you can change your thoughts and behaviors to cultivate resilience and rebuild wholeheartedness. In our commentary, we’ll add context to Brown’s research and advice, referencing books like Hans Rosling’s Factfulness and Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s Burnout.

In the compelling episode, "Feeling Like A Burden & Being Scared To Take Up Space," of the "Aware & Aggravated" podcast, Leo Skepi delves into the labyrinthine emotions tied to self-worth and the impact of relationship dynamics. As Skepi guides his listeners through the struggles of feeling like a nuisance, he uncovers the paradox of being both burdensome and beneficial within personal connections, inviting a reconsideration of one's intrinsic value beyond the impressions cast by early childhood experiences.

Leo doesn’t just expose the deep-seated roots of self-doubt; he also offers insights into breaking such cycles and cultivating healthier relationships influenced by proactive communication. He stresses the importance of assertiveness and actively participating in one’s own life and that of others to dispel fears of taking up space. Wrapping up with heartwarming anecdotes on the transformative power of unconditional friendship and genuine exchange, Leo's conversation extends beyond the podcast, fostering audience engagement and creating a space for feedback through social media interaction and recommended product experiences that resonate with the themes of self-worth and meaningful connections.