Podcasts > The Peter Attia Drive > The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

By Peter Attia, MD

In this episode of The Peter Attia Drive, Walter Green shares his journey from a challenging early life marked by frequent moves and personal losses to becoming the founder of the "Say It Now" movement. Green discusses how his experiences, including his mother's cancer diagnosis, his father's unexpected death, and his own mental health crisis, shaped his understanding of life's impermanence and the importance of meaningful relationships.

The conversation explores Green's practical approach to expressing gratitude, including his initiative to personally thank 44 influential people in his life and his development of a program that has reached thousands of classrooms worldwide. Green also shares his perspectives on living with intention, maintaining friendships, and ensuring family security while continuing to serve others through his work.

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

1-Page Summary

Walter Green's Life Story and Formative Experiences

Walter Green's early life was marked by frequent moves across 16 different cities, making it difficult to form lasting friendships. At age nine, he faced his mother's cancer diagnosis, and later, while in college, lost his father unexpectedly to a heart attack—events that shaped his understanding of life's fragility.

After finding success in public accounting, Walter experienced a mental health crisis that led to hospitalization. Following two years of therapy, he explored various careers, including hotels and food service, before finding his path in conference centers.

The Power of Meaningful Relationships and Intentional Gratitude

Walter's perspective on relationships transformed around his 50th birthday when he organized a special celebration for his closest friends and their spouses, expressing his gratitude for their impact on his life. Later, at age 70, Walter embarked on an 11-month journey to visit 44 individuals across multiple countries who had significantly influenced him, documenting specific contributions each person made to his life.

Origin and Evolution of "Say It Now" Movement

Inspired by witnessing heartfelt tributes at Tim Russert's funeral, Walter Green developed the "Say It Now" movement, encouraging people to express gratitude to loved ones while they're still alive. The initiative has expanded into an educational program reaching 38,500 classrooms across 75 countries. Walter records these conversations and provides participants with photos, summary letters, and recordings of their exchanges.

Walter's Philosophy on Purpose and Finishing Strong

Following recent health scares, Walter Green has deepened his commitment to living intentionally. He focuses on ensuring his family's future security while continuing his mission of service to others. Walter emphasizes the importance of maintaining current friendships and acknowledging those who have impacted his life, viewing his work with the "Say It Now" initiative as a way to encourage others to express gratitude and recognize the value in their relationships.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a gratitude map by pinning photos of influential people in your life on a bulletin board and connecting them with strings to specific memories or lessons they've taught you, serving as a daily visual reminder to appreciate these relationships.
    • This tactile approach allows you to physically see the network of support and influence in your life, encouraging you to reach out and express gratitude more often. For example, if a former teacher inspired your love for a subject, pin a photo of them and connect it to a note about that passion.
  • Start a "Life's Fragility" journal where you write down weekly reflections on moments that highlight the transient nature of life, prompting you to live more intentionally.
    • Keeping such a journal can help you stay grounded and make decisions that align with your values and goals. For instance, after witnessing a random act of kindness, you might journal about it and decide to volunteer at a local charity.
  • Develop a "Relationship Recharge" routine where once a month, you reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while to catch up, ensuring you maintain and nurture your existing friendships.
    • This routine can be as simple as setting a calendar reminder to call a different friend each month. During the call, you can share updates, reminisce about shared experiences, and reinforce the bond you have, preventing friendships from fading due to distance or time.

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

Walter Green's Life Story and Formative Experiences

Walter Green’s life is a testament to resilience, marked by early hardship and a search for purpose amid mental health challenges.

Walter's Childhood Was Marked by Hardship

Walter Moved Often, Preventing Close Friendships

During his early years, Walter lived in 16 different cities, which inhibited the ability to form lasting friendships. He recollects how it "made no sense to have a friend" that he would inevitably leave within a year or two due to constant movement.

Mother Diagnosed With Cancer When Walter Was 9; Father's Unexpected Passing in College Shaped His Perspective on Life's Fragility

At the age of nine, Walter dealt with his mother's cancer diagnosis. Later on, when he was in college, Walter's father died unexpectedly from a heart attack at the age of 53. This event confirmed to Walter the unpredictability and fragility of life. His father's passing had a profound impact, deeply branding the lesson of life’s unpredictability into his consciousness.

After Success in Public Accounting, Walter Faced a Mental Health Crisis

Following a brief time in the Army and a stint in various jobs, including an industrial textiles job in Pittsburgh, Walter found success in public accounting. However, this success was followed by a personal crisis. He faced a mental health breakdown, during which he "completely lost it" for about two or three months, a cumulative result of not dealing with his father's death and job pressures. Distraught by the thought of replacing an older, amiable colleague, Walter became catatonic and could not get out of bed, leading to his hospitalization for mental illness—a subject he remained quiet about for 40 years due to the associated stigma.

Walter Explored Multiple Careers, Like Hotels and Food Service, Before Succeeding In Conference Centers

Walter was hospitalized in Massachusetts after the incident in Pittsburgh and spent two years in therapy, learning much about himself. ...

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Walter Green's Life Story and Formative Experiences

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal resilience journal to document your challenges and growth, inspired by Walter's story of overcoming adversity. Start by writing down difficult situations you've faced, how you felt, and what you did to overcome them. This practice can help you recognize patterns in your coping mechanisms and encourage a proactive approach to future challenges.
  • Develop a "flexible friendships" mindset if you move frequently, similar to Walter's childhood experience. Instead of viewing friendships as temporary, see each connection as a valuable part of your journey. Make an effort to stay in touch with friends from past locations through social media or scheduled video calls, fostering a network of support regardless of where you are.
  • Engage in proactive mental health pr ...

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

The Power of Meaningful Relationships and Intentional Gratitude

Walter Green's personal experiences illustrate how celebrating friendships and expressing gratitude can profoundly impact one's life and the lives of others.

Walter's 50th Birthday Sparked His Appreciation For Friendships

Walter Green, once lacking deep connections, began making authentic friendships later in life. At his 50th birthday, he wanted to honor these important relationships.

Walter Invited His Closest Friends and Their Spouses To a Weekend Celebration to Honor Their Impact on His Life

For his 50th birthday, Walter celebrated by inviting five of his closest friends, their spouses, and his family—17 people in total—to the opening weekend of Phantom of the Opera. He spared no expense, despite being limited in cash, to show his appreciation for their friendship.

Tributes and Collective Gifts Underscore the Power Of Expressing Gratitude While Alive

During the weekend celebration, Walter paid tribute to each friend, articulating the enrichment they brought to his life. His intention to focus the celebration on them rather than himself resonated, as evidenced by the leather-bound book his friends gifted him, recalling the wonderful weekend.

Walter's "44 at 70" Project Acknowledged Influential People In One's Life

In his late 50s, Walter decided to approach the end of life differently by embracing the value of friendships and expressing gratitude.

At 70, Walter Began a Year-Long Journey to Visit 44 Individuals Who Impacted Him

Upon turning 70, Walter embarked on an 11-month j ...

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The Power of Meaningful Relationships and Intentional Gratitude

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a "gratitude map" by listing out people who have positively influenced your life and pinpointing their location on a world or local map. This visual tool can help you plan future visits or gestures of appreciation, similar to planning a travel itinerary, but with the purpose of expressing gratitude.
  • Start a tradition of "appreciation dinners" where, once a year, you invite a small group of friends or family members to share a meal, and during the dinner, you take turns highlighting the positive impact each person has had on one another's lives. This can be a potluck or a simple home-cooked meal to keep it budget-friendly.
  • Develop a personalized "gratitu ...

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

Origin and Evolution of "Say It now" Movement

Walter Green's recognition of the unfortunate reality that heartfelt tributes often come only after a person has passed away inspired him to advocate for the opposite—to express gratitude to loved ones while they are still alive. This idea gave birth to the "Say It now" movement.

Walter's Gratitude Inspired the "Say It now" Concept

Inspired by the Realization That Heartfelt Tributes Often Come Posthumously, Walter Encourages Expressing Gratitude to Loved Ones While Alive

Walter Green was profoundly moved by the heartfelt tributes at Tim Russert's funeral, realizing that the expressions of gratitude and appreciation were ones that Russert never had the chance to hear. This spurred Green to make a commitment to thank the important individuals in his life personally.

During his visits, Walter recorded every conversation and later sent each person a photo, a summary letter of about 120 words, and a CD of the recorded conversation, to ensure they could fully understand and appreciate the recognition given to them.

Walter shares insights from a hospice nurse, who talked about the dying patients' wishes to know that they mattered before their passing, rather than receiving tributes posthumously. He underlines the inadequacy of traditional customs of waiting until memorial services to express gratitude. Walter believes in giving tributes to significant individuals in one's life while they are still around to hear it.

"Say It now" Movement Gains Momentum Globally

Green has taken his "Say It Now" concept and extended its reach by promoting it through educational initiatives. There are now teaching materials in 38,500 classrooms around the world, spanning 75 countries, which are designed to teach students the practice of expressing gratitude.

Participant Stories and Feedback Highlight "Say It now" Impact

The movement, through Walter Green's guidance, has already begun to have a significant impact on the lives of individuals. For example, he recounts how a girl from the Philippines was moved away from thoughts of suicide after reading his book, illustrating the pro ...

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Origin and Evolution of "Say It now" Movement

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Tim Russert was a prominent American television journalist and lawyer, best known as the longtime moderator of NBC's "Meet the Press." He was widely respected for his interviewing skills and political analysis. His funeral drew significant public attention because many influential figures shared heartfelt tributes, highlighting his impact. These tributes were significant as they revealed the deep appreciation people had for him, which he never heard directly.
  • The "Say It Now" movement is primarily a philosophy encouraging people to express gratitude to loved ones while they are still alive. It functions as a campaign promoting this idea through educational materials and personal storytelling. It is not described as a formal organization but rather a global initiative led by Walter Green. The movement uses various methods, including classroom programs and published works, to spread its message.
  • Walter Green records conversations to capture genuine, heartfelt expressions of gratitude in real time. Sending photos, letters, and CDs allows recipients to revisit and fully appreciate these meaningful moments later. This method ensures the gratitude is preserved and can be shared or reflected upon beyond the initial conversation. It also helps deepen the emotional impact and connection between Walter and the recipients.
  • Hospice nurses care for terminally ill patients and witness their emotional needs firsthand. Their insights reveal that many dying people wish to hear affirmations of love and appreciation before they pass. This highlights the importance of expressing gratitude while loved ones are still alive. It supports the movement's goal to shift gratitude from posthumous tributes to present acknowledgments.
  • The educational initiatives involve integrating gratitude exercises into daily classroom activities to foster emotional awareness. Teaching materials include lesson plans, discussion prompts, and creative projects that encourage students to express appreciation. These resources are designed to be age-appropriate and culturally adaptable for diverse classrooms. Teachers use them to create a supportive environment where gratitude becomes a regular practice.
  • Walter Green's book focuses on the importance of expressing gratitude to loved ones while they are still alive. It shares personal stories and practical advice to inspire readers to communicate appreciation openly. The book aims to improve emotional well-being and strengthen relationships. Its impact includes helping individuals find hope and connection, as illustrated by the girl from the Philippines.
  • Writing letters of gratitude allows individuals to clearly express appreciation and acknowledge ...

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The impact of gratitude, serving others, embracing mortality, and living intentionally | Walter Green (#288 rebroadcast)

Walter's Philosophy on Purpose and Finishing Strong

Walter Green speaks about his philosophy on purpose and the importance of finishing strong, influenced by personal health scares and life events. His approach to intentional living and prioritizing relationships, service, and legacy in the face of mortality is a central theme of his reflections.

Walter's Near-Death Experiences Deepen His Commitment To Living Intentionally and Completing His Work

Walter’s commitment to living intentionally and completing his work is deeply influenced by his near-death experiences.

Walter's Health Scare Led Him to Organize His Affairs For Family Preparedness and Continued Service to Others

Walter Green had a recent medical scare that led to an operation and made him think about finishing strong. This scare prompted him to take measures to ensure his wife's lifestyle would be provided for in the event of his passing. He expresses the importance of being current with his friendships and acknowledges those who have impacted his life. He is also liquidating a complex investment to ease any future burden for his wife and has prepared a list of 15 financial steps for her to follow if something happens to him. Walter shares that after his cancer went into remission, he felt he had more work to do.

Walter's Focus on Relationships, Causes, and Legacy Provides Peace and Purpose Amid Mortality

Following his health scare on the island of Corsica, Walter prayed for more time to be of service. Walter gains peace and purpose from focusing on relationships, his causes, and his legacy, which provides him with direction despite life's finiteness. After a health scare, Walter discusses how his refreshed perspective on life has driven him to deepen his commitment not just to his work but to the people and causes that matter most to him.

Walter's "Finishing Strong" Inspires Prioritizing Relationships, Gratitude, and Purpose

Walter’s philosophy inspires a focus on relationships, gratitude, and purpose.

Walter's Gratitude and Acknowledgment as a Model For Intentional, Fulfilling Later Life Stages

Walter's approach to gratitude and acknowledgment serves as a model for an intentional and fulfilling approach to the later stages of li ...

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Walter's Philosophy on Purpose and Finishing Strong

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Walter's focus on relationships and gratitude is commendable, it may not be a universally applicable model; different individuals may find purpose and fulfillment in various other aspects of life such as personal achievements, exploration, or solitude.
  • The idea of "finishing strong" might put undue pressure on individuals who are dealing with terminal illness or old age, suggesting that they must meet certain standards even in their final days, which could detract from their comfort or peace of mind.
  • Walter's ability to liquidate assets and prepare financially for his wife's future may not be possible for everyone, as it assumes a level of financial literacy and resources that many do not possess.
  • The "Say It Now" initiative, while positive in its intentions, might not take into account complex family dynamics or relationships where expressing gratitude or appreciation is not straightforward or may even be unwelcome.
  • Walter's approach assumes that everyone has the capacity for reflection and the opportunity to act on their intentions before their passing, which may ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Gratitude Map" by drawing a simple chart with names of people who've impacted your life and specific reasons you're grateful for them; set a goal to reach out to one person each week to share your appreciation.
  • This visual tool helps you keep track of the positive influences in your life and ensures you don't miss the opportunity to express your gratitude. For example, you might draw a line from your name to your high school teacher and note "inspired my love for science," then send a thank-you note or email expressing this sentiment.
  • Develop a "Legacy Letter" to loved ones, detailing your values, life lessons, and hopes for them, updating it annually or after significant life events.
  • This letter serves as a personal testament to your beliefs and wishes, providing a meaningful keepsake for your family. You could include stories of challenges you've overcome, advice for future generations, or your thoughts on the importance of relationships and service.
  • Start a "Life Pri ...

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