565. Unlocking the Hidden Power Of Body Language | Vanessa Van Edwards

Understanding nonverbal communication is essential in our daily interactions as it significantly affects perception and interpersonal relationships. Experts Jordan Peterson and Vanessa Van Edwards delve into this topic, highlighting how posture, distance, and eye contact all play vital roles in social dynamics.

Importance Of Understanding Nonverbal Signals in Social Interactions

It's been noted that technical professionals, such as engineers, often lack knowledge of basic social cues like eye contact, which can hinder their social interactions. Peterson emphasizes the necessity of eye contact in engaging an audience and checking their reception of the message.

Posture, Distance, Eye Contact Affect Perception

Edwards highlights the importance of the angles at which people interact, with the brain preferring parallel lines as an indication of engagement. She points out that our posture, including the distance between our ears and shoulders, can project confidence or fear. She also notes how critical eye contact is in creating a connection, which is significant for a speaker's stage presence. Peterson remarks on Edwards' attentiveness to eye contact, influencing the perception of her engagement in discussions.

Key Nonverbal Communication Principles

Several nonverbal communication principles are highlighted as key to successful interactions and the projection of confidence and openness.

Alignment and Facing Convey Engagement and Respect

Alignment, such as mirroring someone’s cues, displays engagement and is seen as a form of nonverbal respect. It involves synchronizing verbal, vocal, and nonverbal cues with another person, similar to how we dress up for interviews to meet others on common ground. Fronting, making sure your body or camera is in line with the person you're engaging with, is a simple cue that can be used to denote comfort and respect.

Avoiding Crossed Arms Signals Comfort and Openness

Edwards stresses that avoiding crossed arms signals comfort and openness. Showing space between the torso and arm, for example, indicates one isn't trying to block or protect the torso, which is a sign of feeling safe rather than discomfort.

Maintaining Appropriate Physical Distance Demonstrates Social Awareness

The concept of proxemics plays an essential role in signaling intimacy, with four basic distances: public, social, personal, and intimate. Close talkers, those who speak less than 18 inches from someone's face, violate social etiquette by entering the intimate zone without consent, often causing discomfort.

Specific Nonverbal Cues to Monitor and Manage

Understanding certain body language cues can help project confidence, enhance communication, and mainta ...

In social interactions, finding a delicate balance between warmth and competence is pivotal for establishing trust and credibility.

Balancing Warmth and Competence For Trust and Credibility

Vanessa Van Edwards and Jordan Peterson detail how social cues contribute to the perception of warmth and competence.

Warmth Cues Like Smiling, Open Body Language, and Vocal Enthusiasm Create a Positive First Impression

Van Edwards explains that on stage, to build trust quickly, one should aim to make eye contact with audience members. Visible hands during greeting suggest openness and trustworthiness. Expressing genuine happiness, such as verbalizing excitement about being present, can also convey warmth. Eye contact physiologically produces a feeling of warmth and signals genuineness and engagement.

Cues Like Precision, Organization, and Gestures Demonstrate Expertise

In demonstrating competence, Van Edwards emphasizes using visuals during presentations to reduce the audience's cognitive load, showing organization and clarity in communication. Hand gestures can increase understanding and hence the perception of expertise. A person who is highly competent speaks clearly, does not rely on notes or waste movement, and their focused action indicates clarity and precision of thought.

Potential Pitfalls Of Emphasizing one Over the Other

Missteps can occur when there is an imbalance between displaying warmth and competence.

Excessive Warmth May Imply Incompetence or Indecision

Excessive warmth might be mistaken for a lack of competence, and cues such as using appeasement signals in a negotiation could lead others to question one's competence. High warmth can lead to being seen as more accessible and less serious, which might result in frequent interruptions.

Competence Without Warmth Appears Cold

Competence that lacks warmth can come off as cold or intimidating. Van Edwards suggests avoiding nonverbal cues that might indicate coldness, such as touching the face or disengaging from proximity. Charismatic people, to prevent being perceived solely as competent and cold, should also focus on being likable.

Importance Of Understanding the Situation and Audience

Recognizing the context and audience is critical when choosing how to balance warmth a ...

Jordan Peterson and Vanessa Van Edwards delve into the behaviors associated with social anxiety and offer strategies for developing social skills and fostering a confident, positive mindset.

Recognizing Common Patterns of Awkward Behavior

Cues Like Hunched Posture, Fidgeting, and Up-speak Signal Unsurety

Van Edwards discusses a "trifecta of awkwardness" in first impressions, including a hunched posture or "turtling," which shortens vocal power and can make someone sound nervous. Both Van Edwards and Peterson discuss up-speak (ending sentences with an upward inflection as if asking a question), which can communicate submissiveness or nervousness and signal to others to scrutinize rather than listen.

Behaviors From Lack of Social Awareness or Practice

Van Edwards recognized in her own past behavior signs of trying too hard to be liked, such as excessive nodding and smiling, which can stem from a lack of social awareness. Peterson and Van Edwards both speak to patterns of immaturity in social situations, like immature strategies that signal submissiveness, including a prey posture and excessive smiling.

Strategies For Developing Social Skills

Mastering Nonverbal Communication Skills

Van Edwards underscores the importance of improving nonverbal communication, such as body posture and vocal inflections. She also explains how she dialed back excessive nodding and gesturing to improve her nonverbal cues. Peterson and Van Edwards agree that being conscious of these cues is crucial for developing effective social skills.

Building a Repertoire of Conversation Starters and Behaviors

Vanessa Van Edwards took an educational approach to overcoming her social awkwardness by studying nonverbal behavior and memorizing flashcards with conversation starters to help alleviate anxiety about initiating conversations.

Cultivating a Mindset of Confid ...

Vanessa Van Edwards and Jordan Peterson provide insights into how one can improve charismatic communication by mastering first impressions, effectively structuring conversations, and developing a personal communication style.

Mastering the Mechanics of First Impressions

It's critical to manage the initial interactions with others, as they set the tone for ongoing relationships.

Greeting With a Firm Handshake or Open-Palm Gesture

According to Peterson, a handshake should be firm, like gripping a 10-pound object, and match the grip of the person you’re shaking hands with. Edwards suggests offering the handshake with a vertical palm, thumb toward the sky to avoid submissive or dominance gestures. Use a firm grip that is not too tight—like squeezing a peach—and if it’s a first meeting, three pumps will suffice; one may be enough for subsequent engagements. For those comfortable with hugging, approach with two open palms but be prepared to pivot to a handshake if the other person shows discomfort. She emphasizes being assertive with your greeting to make a clear first impression, even if someone else may wish to match you.

Matching Energy and Tempo For Alignment

Van Edwards talks about mirroring, particularly during salary negotiations; she describes how matching the interviewer’s energy can positively affect the outcome. Peterson details how aligning physiological tendencies, like matching the tempo of someone else's speech or handshake, gives off a sense of connection and mutual attentiveness.

Effectively Structuring Conversations

Skillfully crafted dialogues can lead to more engaging and memorable interactions.

Using Open-Ended Questions to Draw the Person Out

Edwards advocates asking open-ended questions that break away from the typical conversation script. These questions should elicit positive responses and allow you to exhibit your warmth and competence when reciprocated.

Balancing Verbal and Nonverbal Cues For Clarity

Combining verbal articulation with nonverbal expressions can greatly enhance communication clarity. Edwards recommends using purposeful gestures and leaning in to convey engagement and competence. Peterson adds that making constant eye contact and not relying on notes when speaking can show command of the subject matter.

Developing a Personal Communication Style

Authenticity is at the core of a personal communication style that resonates with others.

Emphasizing Authentic and Comfortable Nonverbal Beha ...