In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO, former actor turned Buddhist monk Gelong Thubten explains how his path to meditation began during a period of severe mental health struggles. He shares his initial misconceptions about meditation—believing it required a completely clear mind—and how he came to understand that noticing wandering thoughts and returning to the breath are essential parts of the practice.
Thubten discusses meditation's effects on stress management and decision-making, noting that even brief daily practice can lead to observable changes in brain activity. He clarifies Buddhist concepts like non-attachment, explaining that it differs from emotional detachment or avoidance of connections. Through examples from his own experience, he illustrates how self-compassion and mindfulness can shift one's relationship with difficult thoughts and emotions.

Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
Gelong Thubten shares his journey from a struggling 21-year-old actor to becoming a Buddhist monk. After experiencing burnout, heart problems, and severe depression following his parents' separation and expulsion from Oxford University, Thubten found his way to a Scottish monastery. What began as a temporary retreat transformed into a lifelong commitment to monkhood and helping others.
Initially, Thubten struggled with meditation, believing it required clearing his mind completely. This misconception intensified his negative thoughts and self-disgust. Over time, he learned that noticing when the mind wanders and returning to the breath is actually a crucial part of building mental strength, not a sign of failure.
Thubten describes meditation as a powerful tool for managing stress, improving focus, and developing a more responsive mindset. He explains that the practice creates a gap between stimulus and response, allowing for more mindful decisions rather than impulsive reactions. According to Thubten, even ten minutes of daily meditation can lead to visible changes in brain scans after just four days.
Thubten emphasizes the Buddhist concept of non-attachment, distinguishing it from detachment or indifference. He explains that non-attachment involves mindfully addressing our internal attachments to thoughts and emotions rather than avoiding connections with others. Through his practice, Thubten discovered the transformative power of self-compassion, learning to approach his own discomfort with love and understanding rather than judgment. This approach, he says, has led to profound personal transformation and increased happiness, despite physical ailments.
1-Page Summary
Gelong Thubten shares his profound journey into monkhood and the deep meditation practices that transformed his life, revealing his struggles with mental health, initial resistance to meditation, and eventual emotional breakthrough.
Thubten became a monk following a period of extreme personal suffering. After experiencing a dramatic burnout at 21, a diagnosis of a heart condition due to a wild party lifestyle, and ongoing self-loathing and unhappiness, he went to a Scottish monastery, Samuling, in a weak state and at the suggestion of his friend Tara. Originally just dipping his toe into monastic life, Thubten was seriously ill and suffering mentally from the trauma of his parents' unexpected separation and subsequent expulsion from Oxford University due to his nonfunctional depression. While outwardly projecting success as an actor, he quietly suffered from an internal monologue of self-disgust. After a transformative retreat, he vowed to become a monk for life and dedicated himself to helping others and working on his mind.
Initially, Thubten hated meditation. He struggled with the misconception that meditation was about clearing the mind, which magnified his negative thoughts and led to a louder voice of self-disgust that caused him significant stress and depressive symptoms. He incorrectly believed that losing focus during meditation signified failure, but he eventually learned that realizing the mind has wandered is a crucial part of the practice and an opportunity to return to the breath and build mental strength.
Thubten's Transformative Meditation Journey
Gelong Thubten describes meditation as a transformative practice that provides individuals the tools not only to manage stress and anxiety but also to improve focus and cultivate a more responsive and flexible mindset.
Thubten notes that people are constantly inundated with information, which can exacerbate stress levels. He emphasizes meditation's role in creating autonomy over one's experiences by taking control of the mind. By positioning individuals as the generators of their own experiences, he suggests meditation can manage stress and anxiety. He argues that meditation is not about finding something external but discovering that what people search for is already within them, thereby reducing feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction associated with stress and anxiety.
Thubten further advocates for meditation as a method of creating a gap between stimulus (events or thoughts) and response (actions). This separation allows for a space in which individuals can decide on a different course of action rather than reacting impulsively, thereby resulting in more mindful living. Instead of trying to push away pain, which creates cortisol and induces stress, acceptance through meditation can lead to releasing endorphins and happiness.
Meditation is also lauded for strengthening the ability to direct the mind, leading to enhanced focus and mental clarity. Thubten tackles the misconception that meditation makes people too relaxed to be driven, asserting that meditation fosters precision, presence, and reduced susceptibility to distraction and negative thinking. Thus, meditation can help one achieve more, work harder, become less tired, and think more deeply about their goals.
Celebrated individuals like Ray Dalio, Marc Benioff, Jack Dorsey, and Steve Jobs have attributed their professional success to meditative practices. Thubten mentions that just ten minutes of meditation a day can lead to visible changes in brain scans after only four days, which can inspire confidence in the practice. He clarifies that these changes can influence how we handle situations bette ...
Benefits of Meditation: Managing Emotions, Improving Focus, Cultivating a Responsive Mindset
Gelong Thubten shares insights on the importance of understanding the mind in Buddhism, emphasizing non-attachment and the transformative power of self-compassion in meditation practices.
Thubten talks about the mind in Buddhism, presenting it as both the source of suffering and liberation. He suggests focusing on improving the mind, the root of experiences, rather than fixating on external details. Describing non-attachment, Thubten differentiates it from detachment or indifference; it is a mindful turning away from the endless cycle of desire for external things. He stresses that non-attachment is about dealing with one's inner attachment to thoughts and emotions that lead life in unwanted directions, rather than being detached or having no friends.
Thubten illustrates Buddhism’s view that our constructed identity and experiences are impermanent. He explains that we are not defined by our past and suggests looking for purpose internally instead of externally. Thubten uses the analogy of dissecting a table to understand that its solidity is illusory, drawing parallels with Buddhism and particle physics. He states that as we dig deeper into matter, we won't find the smallest base that makes up reality, which extends to our experiences being more like a dream or illusion. This understanding implies the fluid and interdependent nature of self in Buddhism.
Thubten underscores self-compassion as vital to meditation practice, which transforms his relationship with himself from self-hatred to tender understanding. He advocates for giving attention to discomfort in the body with love and focus, embodying self-compassion. Self-compassion involves nurturing rath ...
Meditation Principles: Buddhist Non-attachment and Mind's Nature
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser
