In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett, body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards explores the intricacies of personality traits, nonverbal communication, and interpersonal dynamics. She delves into the five primary personality dimensions, highlighting their hereditary influences and potential for development. The discussion then pivots to the power of microexpressions in conveying underlying emotions and detecting deception.
Van Edwards also shares insights on making effective first impressions, both in-person and online. Additionally, she examines how personality traits shape relationship dynamics, whether romantic or professional, shedding light on compatibility factors and strategies for building meaningful connections. Overall, this episode equips listeners with a deeper understanding of human behavior and provides valuable tools for navigating various social and personal contexts.
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
Vanessa Van Edwards explains the five key personality traits on the OCEAN spectrum: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Though 42-57% heritable, these traits allow 30-40% potential for change.
Open individuals seek novelty and variety, gaining [restricted term] from new experiences. Conversely, those low in openness prefer tradition and routine.
Highly conscientious people thrive with structure and organization, utilizing tools like spreadsheets and compartmental bags. Those lower in conscientiousness may benefit from habit-building resources.
Extraverts gain energy through social interaction, while introverts expend energy in the same situations. Most fall in the "ambivert" middle, exhibiting both tendencies contextually.
The highly agreeable struggle to set boundaries, often overcommitting to please others. Lower agreeableness allows for direct refusal and voicing of dissatisfaction when needed.
Due to slower serotonin production, those high in neuroticism experience prolonged negative emotions and excessive worry as a protective response. Low neuroticism enables quicker stress recovery.
Van Edwards highlights the importance of seven universal microexpressions: fear, disgust, anger, happiness, sadness, surprise, and contempt. Understanding these involuntary facial cues reveals underlying emotions and facilitates empathetic responses.
Microexpressions can signal deceit (e.g. disgust when lying) or discomfort (e.g. fear during a presentation). Van Edwards advises monitoring these cues to address issues proactively.
Microexpressions serve evolutionary purposes, like fear widening vision for danger detection, and anger displaying confrontational readiness. Recognizing these meanings informs appropriate response.
First impressions significantly influence perception of personality traits like extroversion and agreeableness, forming within seconds based on appearance and body language before conversation.
Van Edwards advises using warm, open body language with 60% eye contact to convey approachability and confidence when meeting new people.
Memorable impressions result from unique greetings and backstories that deviate from typical small talk, sparking curiosity and engagement.
Curating visuals like profile pictures and leveraging intentional body language and camera framing create strong remote first impressions.
Van Edwards explores how personality traits impact relationship dynamics, both romantic and professional.
Opposing traits like nervousness can trigger conflicts, while teams lacking diversity may share blindspots. However, difference can also complement when managed properly.
Compatible partners tend to share similar levels of extraversion and neuroticism to prevent fundamental misunderstandings and tension.
Van Edwards' "thread theory" highlights forging bonds through discovering shared enthusiasms, dates, or experiences that facilitate "me too" moments of alignment.
1-Page Summary
Vanessa Van Edwards discusses the five main personality traits known as OCEAN: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism, which fall on a spectrum and are 42 to 57% heritable, suggesting a genetic influence. However, changes are still possible, with a potential for 30 to 40% change depending on where one is on the spectrum.
Personality traits are somewhat heritable, with genetics playing a significant role in how these traits express themselves.
Vanessa Van Edwards notes that every person has five personality traits which fall on a spectrum: high, medium, or low. These traits are between 42 to 57% heritable, indicating a genetic influence while still allowing for a degree of change.
People high in openness are naturally curious, creative, and receptive to new experiences. They receive a [restricted term] boost when trying new things due to the DRD4 gene. Alternatively, those low in openness prefer tradition and routine.
Those who are high in openness may find satisfaction in novelty and exploring the unknown, while those low in openness gravitate towards familiarity and established practices.
Conscientious individuals tend to be detail-oriented and organized. Lifelong singles may exhibit lower conscientiousness, indicating challenges in meeting new people due to difficulties with follow-through on plans.
People with high conscientiousness appreciate organization and structure, making systematic use of tools like spreadsheets, Post-it notes, and functional purses with multiple compartments. Those with low to medium conscientiousness might be less inclined to organization yet could improve through resources like habit books.
Extraversion is characterized by gaining energy from social interactions, whereas introverts might feel drained by them. People are often ambiverts and exhibit both behaviors, though some roles like sales may be better suited to those high in extraversion.
Most individuals fall into the category of ambiverts, who can engage in both extraverted and introverted behaviors depending on the situation.
Highly agreeable people struggle with setting boundaries and often say yes to everything to be liked, which may result in overcommitting. Lower agreeableness can be beneficial for leadership roles becau ...
Personality Types and Traits
Nonverbal communication plays a significant role in human interactions, and one especially revealing aspect is the use of microexpressions. Vanessa Van Edwards highlights the importance and implications of these involuntary facial expressions.
Vanessa identifies seven universal microexpressions: fear, disgust, anger, happiness, sadness, surprise, and contempt, which convey the same emotions across different demographics. She focuses on the evolutionary aspect of certain expressions, such as a baby’s pout, which instinctively triggers our empathy. Fear, for instance, is indicated by eyes widening to reveal the upper whites, a facial cue that is unnatural unless one is genuinely afraid. Disgust manifests as a crinkled nose and flashed upper teeth, often as a reaction to bad tastes or smells but also when encountering displeasing information or experiences.
Understanding microexpressions can also correlate with empathy and appropriate responses. For example, noticing a downward frown at work might prompt offering help or space, and detecting expressions of disgust or contempt could signal deeper issues that require attention. When someone is lying about their preferences, a disgust microexpression might appear, as the deceit can induce self-disgust. Recognizing surprise versus fear can also aid in assessing whether someone is genuinely uninformed or potentially hiding the truth.
Vanessa discusses the significant role of microexpressions in revealing deeper feelings and motivations. For example, contempt, which can manifest as a one-sided mouth raise or smirk, often indicates a sense of superiority and, in relationships, could predict divorce. To address this in communication, it is essential to ask probing questions and engage the other person to prevent disrespect and hatred from growing.
In social interactions, such as a handshake, people may subconsciously smell their hand after the exchange as a way to sense something about the other person’s personality. Vanessa points out that these subtle nonverbal cues can reveal much about an individual's thoughts and emotions.
Nonverbal Communication and Microexpressions
Vanessa Van Edwards and Steven Bartlett delve into the nuances of making first impressions, emphasizing their critical nature and the importance of nonverbal cues, body language, and unique interactions in forming lasting images in others' minds.
Studies show that first impressions are 76% accurate in reflecting personality traits like extroversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness, with neuroticism being the hardest to guess as people can hide it well. Vanessa Van Edwards mentions that personality traits can sometimes be discerned from a handshake. First impressions form in the first few seconds of seeing someone, based on appearance, body language, and nonverbal cues before any conversation starts.
Vanessa Van Edwards highlights the importance of open body language and making eye contact when meeting new people. She notes that closed-off body language affects your voice and can negatively impact a first impression. A firm handshake, typically a mark of extroversion, is part of the first impression one gets before engaging in conversation. For women, gestures like touching their hair or lips can show physical attraction and hence make a positive impression.
The universal defeat posture, involving looking down with little space between shoulders and earlobes, and keeping arms close to the sides, makes a negative first impression. Vanessa Van Edwards points out the problems with embracing closed body positions, especially as it relates to vocal power when speaking. She also advises against sunglasses in photos because they block eye contact and suggests maintaining 60% eye contact to convey warmth and competence without being too intense.
To stand out and create a memorable impression, Vanessa Van Edwards recommends using unique conversational approaches and avoiding scripted interactions. She suggests asking questions that elicit positive responses and adding depth to the conversation to stand out from typical small talk. Sharing an interesting story about one's work or mentioning a passion can lead to a more engaging and memorable introduction. Being distinctive in online communications makes one memorable and piques people's curiosity.
Making Effective First Impressions
Vanessa Van Edwards delves into the world of relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of understanding personality traits both in romantic and workplace settings.
People's unique "flavors" or personality traits can significantly influence dynamics within relationships and the workplace, according to Vanessa Van Edwards. It's essential to analyze one's own personality and how it might mesh with that of others. She notes that a lack of trait diversity in a corporate team might lead to shared issues and an increased chance of conflict. Similarly, differences in traits like openness can result in day-to-day relationship disputes, such as choosing a restaurant. Edwards points out that being around individuals with different traits, such as nervousness, can trigger similar feelings in oneself, potentially causing friction.
Van Edwards discusses that while people often seek individuals with diverse personalities, certain core trait alignments—such as matching levels of extraversion and neuroticism—are crucial to prevent tension in relationships. For example, a high neurotic individual paired with a low neurotic partner may face misunderstandings if one cannot comprehend the other's worry. Nonetheless, when properly managed, these differences can also lead to effective relationships.
The concept of "thread theory," which Van Edwards introduces, revolves around creating connections through 'me too' moments in conversations, where shared interests or experiences forge bonds and release serotonin. By discovering mutual interests, such as birthdays or zodiac signs, individuals can create these moments. Showing genuine interest and avoidin ...
Relationship Dynamics and Compatibility
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser