Most Played Moment: How To ALWAYS Have Great Sex: The Orgasm Queen, Susan Bratton
On The Diary Of A CEO, Susan Bratton shares techniques for enhancing intimacy and connection through touch, affection, and open communication. She advises creating a "Sexual Soulmate Pact" to freely discuss physical needs, suggesting starting with comforting touch before progressing to sexual activity. Bratton highlights the importance of "erotic play dates," openly communicating desires, and removing pressure—encouraging couples to take small steps to rebuild intimacy without rushing during demanding life stages.
Steven Bartlett and Bratton stress the harm of using "should" regarding one's sex life, which can create guilt and unnecessary pressure. The episode provides practical ways for couples to reignite passion, deepen mutual pleasure, and strengthen emotional bonds through vulnerability and open dialogue about their physical and emotional needs.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Mar 14, 2025 episode of the The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
1-Page Summary
Enhancing Connection Through Touch and Affection
Susan Bratton emphasizes the importance of touch and affection, suggesting that couples create a "Sexual Soulmate Pact" to openly discuss physical needs. She advises starting with comforting touch, which releases [restricted term] and reduces stress, before progressing to sexual activity.
Techniques For Improving Sexual and Emotional Connection
Bratton recommends "erotic play dates" and creating a "sex life bucket list" of new activities to reignite passion. She stresses the importance of easing performance pressure and openly communicating desires without judgment to enhance mutual pleasure and intimacy.
Removing Pressure and Judgment Around Sex
Steven Bartlett highlights the harm of using "should" regarding sex life, which can create unnecessary guilt and pressure. Bratton suggests recognizing challenges during demanding life stages and taking small steps to gradually rebuild intimacy without rushing into previous sexual activity levels.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While touch and affection are important, some individuals or couples may have different love languages and might prioritize other forms of connection such as quality time or verbal affirmation.
- The concept of a "Sexual Soulmate Pact" may not be suitable for all couples, especially those who may have communication issues or deep-seated relationship problems that need to be addressed first.
- Not everyone may be comfortable with or enjoy "erotic play dates" or creating a "sex life bucket list," as individual preferences and comfort levels vary widely.
- The idea of easing performance pressure is beneficial, but some individuals may require professional help, such as therapy, to address deep-rooted issues related to performance anxiety or sexual dysfunction.
- The advice to avoid using "should" in the context of sex is generally sound, but there may be certain healthy expectations in a relationship that are reasonable, and the word "should" might sometimes be used constructively in communication.
- The recommendation to take small steps to rebuild intimacy assumes that both partners are on the same page and willing to work on the relationship, which may not always be the case.
- The strategies proposed may not be inclusive of asexual individuals or those on the asexuality spectrum for whom sexual activity may not be a priority or a source of connection.
Actionables
- You can enhance your touch communication by practicing non-verbal cues with your partner, like developing a series of gentle touches that convey specific emotions or desires. For example, a soft stroke on the arm might mean "I'm here for you," while a gentle squeeze of the hand could signify "I desire you." This creates a private language that can deepen your connection and make communication about physical needs more intuitive.
- Create a "desire diary" where you jot down moments of attraction or affection you feel throughout the day, and share these entries with your partner during a dedicated time each week. This practice not only encourages mindfulness about your own desires but also fosters openness and vulnerability in sharing what ignites your passion, helping to gradually rebuild intimacy without the pressure of immediate action.
- Introduce a "touch roulette" game where you and your partner write down various types of touch that you find comforting or arousing on slips of paper and place them in a jar. Regularly draw a slip and engage in the described touch, ensuring that you explore a variety of physical connections and keep the element of surprise and excitement alive in your relationship.
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Enhancing Connection Through Touch and Affection
Susan Bratton highlights the importance of touch and affection in enhancing connectivity between partners by encouraging open communication and starting with the basics of comforting touch.
Partners Should Be Open and Vulnerable About Their Intimacy Needs
Create a "Sexual Soulmate Pact" for Open Communication About Physical Needs and Feelings
Bratton introduces the concept of the "Sexual Soulmate Pact," an agreement between partners that fosters open communication about their physical needs and feelings without fear of criticism. She points out that this pact allows partners to express their desires openly, whether they are in need of a gentle hold or are seeking a more passionate interaction.
Intimacy Begins With Comforting Touch, Releasing [restricted term] and Reducing Stress
Prioritize Non-sexual Touch Over Sexual Activity
Bratton advises couples to begin ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Enhancing Connection Through Touch and Affection
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While the "Sexual Soulmate Pact" encourages open communication, some couples may find formal agreements about intimacy to be contrived or uncomfortable, preferring a more organic development of communication.
- The emphasis on touch and affection as a means to enhance connectivity might not address deeper relational issues that could be inhibiting intimacy, such as unresolved conflicts or differences in attachment styles.
- Not all individuals or cultures are comfortable with open discussions about physical needs and feelings, and some may require alternative methods of communication that are more aligned with their comfort levels and cultural norms.
- The prioritization of non-sexual touch may not resonate with all couples, as some may find that their connection is equally or more enhanced through verbal communication, shared activities, or other forms of intimacy.
- The concept of [restricted term] r ...
Actionables
- Create a touch diary to track and plan physical connections with your partner. Note down moments when non-sexual touch, like a hug or hand-holding, made you feel closer and more connected. Use this diary to identify patterns and plan future moments of touch, ensuring that both partners are actively engaging in this behavior to strengthen their bond.
- Develop a personalized intimacy menu to communicate your desires and needs. Similar to a restaurant menu, list out activities and types of touch that you enjoy, categorized by mood or level of intimacy. Share this with your partner to facilitate open discussions about what you both find pleasurable, making it easier to express and fulfill each other's needs without the pressure of spontaneous communication.
- Schedule a weekly ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Techniques For Improving Sexual and Emotional Connection
Expert Susan Bratton shares strategies for revitalizing the sexual and emotional aspects of a relationship through experimentation, effective communication, and the elimination of performance pressures.
"Erotic Play Dates" and New Activities Can Reignite Passion and Adventure In a Relationship
Couples Should Create a "Bucket List" of New Erotic Experiences From Mild to Adventurous
Susan Bratton recommends "erotic play dates" as an innovative approach to enhance intimacy and combat mundane sexual routines. She proposes a range of activities that couples can experiment with, such as searching for the G-spot, trying out sex toys, engaging in a lingerie photo shoot, or getting intimate on the dining room table. To organize and prioritize these adventures, Bratton introduces the idea of a "sex life bucket list" containing 48 titillating ideas. Partners are encouraged to rate these activities with grades A, B, or C — with A being most desired, B for those they find acceptable, and C for ideas that don't appeal to them at the moment. This personalized list can guide the couple in exploring new experiences and be updated as their preferences evolve.
Easing Performance Pressure Can Enhance Mutual Pleasure and Intimacy
Partners Should Communicate Desires and Boundaries Without Judgment or Comparison to Others' Sex Lives
Bratton stresses the importance of removing the burden of sexual performance to intensify mutual satisfaction and intimacy. She believes that seeing sexual in ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Techniques For Improving Sexual and Emotional Connection
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While "erotic play dates" may work for some, they might not be suitable for all couples, especially those who may have deep-seated issues or discomfort with sexual experimentation.
- A "sex life bucket list" could inadvertently create pressure to perform or participate in activities one partner is not comfortable with, even if they initially agreed to rate them.
- Rating sexual activities could potentially lead to feelings of inadequacy or rejection if partners have significantly different levels of interest in certain activities.
- The concept of removing performance pressure is beneficial, but it may not address underlying psychological or physiological issues that affect sexual performance and intimacy.
- Viewing sexual intimacy as purely enjoyable may not acknowledge the complex emotions and vulnerabilities that can be involved in sexual relationships.
- Open communication is essential, but the text does not address how couples can develop this skill, ...
Actionables
- You can design a "mystery envelope" system where each partner contributes unique intimate ideas sealed in envelopes, to be drawn at random during a designated intimate time. This adds an element of surprise and novelty, ensuring that both partners contribute to the pool of experiences without immediate judgment or pressure.
- Create a personalized intimacy game with custom cards that suggest various forms of affection, conversation starters, or activities that focus on emotional connection, not just physical. This game can be played during a dedicated couple's night, fostering open communication and shared laughter, which can enhance intimacy.
- Start a shared digital journal where you a ...
Get access to the context and additional materials
Removing Pressure and Judgment Around Sex
Steven Bartlett and Susan Bratton open a dialogue on the impacts of societal expectations and the pressures couples face regarding their sex lives.
Avoid "Should" to Prevent Guilt in Sex Life Discussions
Partners Must Acknowledge Challenges In Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life During Demanding Stages Like Raising Young Children
Bartlett highlights the harm caused by using "should" in the context of sex life, which implies that partners may feel guilty if they don’t meet certain sexual expectations. Bratton points out that feeling a need to have sex or keep up with perceived social norms can create unnecessary pressure, especially when there's a lack of desire or a sense of disconnection.
The emphasis is on recognizing the normalcy and challenges at certain life stages, such as raising young children, which can affect couples' sexual relationships. By avoiding the "should" narrative, partners can prevent guilt and the unhealthy habit of comparing their sex life to others.
Reducing Pressure and Expectations Can Aid Emotional and Physical Reconnection
Couples Should Take Small Steps to Rebuild Intimacy, Not Rush To Previous Sexual Activity Levels
To foster emotional and physical reconnection, the approach should be gradual. Moving away from the need to perform or meet certain sexual benchmarks allows the focus to s ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Removing Pressure and Judgment Around Sex
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While avoiding the word "should" can reduce pressure, it may also inadvertently lead to a lack of communication about desires and expectations in a relationship, which can be equally harmful.
- Acknowledging challenges is important, but it's also crucial to provide actionable strategies for couples to navigate these challenges without making them feel that their struggles are simply to be accepted as the norm.
- The emphasis on avoiding pressure and guilt might overlook the importance of addressing underlying issues that contribute to a lack of desire or disconnection, such as health problems or relationship conflicts.
- The incremental approach to rebuilding intimacy might not be suitable for all couples, as some may benefit from more direct and immediate interventions, depending on their specific circumstances and preferences.
- The advice to take small steps and not rush back to previous levels of sexual activity could be interpreted as a one-size-fits-all solution, which may not resonate with or be practical for every couple.
- The focus on non-sexual touch and comfort as starting points for rebuilding intimacy might not address the needs of couples who have different love languages or w ...
Actionables
- You can create a "comfort jar" where you and your partner write down non-sexual, comforting activities on slips of paper and take turns drawing one to do together. This could include things like giving a massage, taking a bath together, or reading a book aloud. It's a way to prioritize relaxation and connection without the pressure of sexual performance.
- Develop a habit of expressing gratitude for non-sexual aspects of your relationship daily. For example, thank your partner for a thoughtful gesture or for their support in a specific situation. This practice can enhance emotional intimacy and reinforce the value of your partnership beyond the sexual aspect.
- Schedule a regular "exploration night" where the goal ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Create Summaries for anything on the web
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser
