Moment 189: This Is The Real Reason You Can't Change Your Life: Doctor Alok Kanojia

Trauma can stem from abuse to a severe car accident to wartime combat—and cause a lifetime of flashbacks, nightmares, isolation, insomnia, hypervigilance, and rage. In The Body Keeps the Score, the author explores how diagnosing and treating trauma has evolved as new technologies, research, and fields of science emerged.

Trauma’s impact is not only mental, emotional, and neurological, but also physiological: Trauma rewires the brain to put people in a constant state of stress or numbness, leading to a host of physical problems.

In this summary, you’ll learn:

• Why trauma survivors feel like their trauma is never-ending
• How flashbacks make parts of the brain shut down and others to go into overdrive
• Why some trauma survivors can’t recognize themselves in the mirror
• How activities like choral singing, yoga, and theater can be therapeutic

The Big Leap, by psychologist and personal growth coach Gay Hendricks, aims to help you overcome the psychological barriers to success and fulfillment. Hendricks asserts that, while we all have an innate call toward our most successful and fulfilling life, even highly successful people are often unable to achieve beyond a self-imposed limit, a “happiness threshold.” As you achieve greater success, Hendricks says you reach this threshold, which triggers self-sabotaging behaviors.

Hendricks explains how our happiness thresholds are established early in life, through the adoption of false beliefs, and how to identify your own false beliefs. He offers practical advice for applying this new knowledge to your life and relationships, in order to take the “big leap” into living your best life.

We’ll compare Hendricks’s ideas on happiness, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage with those of other authors and experts, and we’ll explore the scientific research behind key concepts.

The way we think about toughness, according to Steve Magness, is all wrong. We traditionally define toughness as a combination of machismo, lack of emotion, and outward displays of dominance and control. But Magness claims that this “old-school” definition of toughness is harmful and that real toughness is defined by confronting reality, acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and using a multitude of strategies to cope with discomfort or adversity. In Do Hard Things, Magness provides a new, more accurate, and more effective way of thinking about toughness, which will help you overcome challenges and make better, more thoughtful decisions.

In this guide, we’ll explore why traditional ideas around toughness are not only ineffective but harmful. Then, we’ll look at Magness’ ideas on what it really means to be resilient, and we’ll provide strategies on how to overcome discomfort and adversity. Throughout the guide, we’ll compare Magness’s ideas and strategies with those of other self-help and psychological experts, helping you become a more thoughtful, versatile, and thus tougher person.

In Happy Sexy Millionaire, Steven Bartlett calls out the myth that you can find happiness, love, and wealth if you just follow three simple steps and a hack or two. Bartlett says the internet, social media, and algorithms have dazzled us into believing that we can have the perfect life if we just chase the “right” dreams—a lie that pulls us off the path of genuine contentment, meaning, and fulfillment.

Bartlett, a social media mogul and public speaker, was born in Botswana to a Nigerian mother and British father and raised in a predominantly white area in England. A university dropout, once so poor that he scavenged for food, Bartlett founded the successful internet company Social Chain at age 21 and was by all objective accounts “living the dream.” But when wealth and fame didn’t bring him happiness, Bartlett reevaluated his priorities. He wrote Happy Sexy Millionaire to warn against chasing false idols and encourage others to find contentment and success by being themselves and doing what has meaning to them.

Jack Canfield struck gold as a co-author of the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, but it took years for him to achieve success. In The Success Principles, he details 67 principles to help anyone achieve their goals and dreams, based on his study and interviews with hundreds of successful people. The basic formula for success is to identify what you want, know that you deserve to have it, and use the book’s principles to get you there.

The book's Principles include taking responsibility for your life, setting goals and visualizing success, facing your fears, forgiving others so you can move forward, asking for and graciously receiving feedback, and appreciating your successes.

Most of us think of “trauma” as psychological scars that require psychological intervention to heal. But what if the key to healing trauma doesn’t lie in your mind, but in your body? In Waking the Tiger, Peter A. Levine argues that trauma isn’t just a psychological disorder but a deep-rooted physiological one. Based on this understanding, Levine has developed a therapeutic approach called “Somatic Experiencing,” which he believes has the potential to reverse trauma symptoms and transform the lives of trauma survivors.

In this guide, you’ll learn the four ways in which the body’s immediate response to a traumatic event can continue indefinitely and turn into chronic symptoms. You’ll also learn, step-by-step, how to use the Somatic Experiencing method to process and heal your trauma. In our commentary, we’ll supplement Levine’s advice for trauma survivors with ideas from books like What Happened to You? and The Body Keeps the Score. Furthermore, we’ll consult modern research to determine the degree to which Levine’s understanding of trauma is currently supported by evidence.

Do you ever feel that there is a more authentic, primal self within you waiting to be free? Glennon Doyle has felt this way, too—like a wild animal in captivity who was conditioned not to feel, think, or trust herself. She tells her story in Untamed, part memoir—covering her personal story of addiction and rehab, falling in love with a woman, leaving her marriage, and rebuilding her life—and part call to action for any woman who feels held captive by society’s rules and expectations.

Through exploration of her story, she instructs readers to rebuild their lives using emotion, intuition, and imagination as guiding forces. In this guide, we’ll explore Doyle’s journey out of captivity and her lessons for other captive women. Along the way, we’ll explore complementary ideas from other feminist thinkers, psychological reasoning for aspects of captivity, and practical actionables to help you live Doyle’s principles.