#439 - The Brand Wars
In this episode of The Basement Yard podcast, hosts Rainn Wilson and Frank Alvarez engage in a candid discussion on personal hygiene and unsanitary behaviors. They reveal their sometimes lax hand-washing habits and Alvarez's unconventional urination practices while driving.
The conversation then takes an unexpected turn as they delve into the topic of using bodily substances like feces as weapons in altercations. The hosts also explore potential podcast sponsorship opportunities, considering brands like Pop Tarts, Taco Bell, and various hot dog companies. Their contemplation of these partnerships offers an intriguing glimpse into the sponsors they deem suitable for their podcast.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 26, 2024 episode of the The Basement Yard
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1-Page Summary
Health and Hygiene Habits
Hand-washing habits
Rainn Wilson and Frank Alvarez admit to not washing hands after urinating when alone at home. But when others are around, Alvarez pretends to wash hands to appear clean. He may rinse with just water near others, per Joe Santagato.
Urinating while driving
Alvarez urinates in bottles while driving, carefully positioning the bottle to avoid spillage. He ensures proper behavior while on highways.
Only washing one hand
Occasionally, Alvarez washes only one hand after using the bathroom.
Unsanitary Fighting Tactics
Woman using tampon as weapon
The speakers discuss video of an Asian woman wielding a seemingly used tampon as a weapon during a fight.
Feces as potential weapon
One speaker raises using feces to scare off opponents. Directly throwing it could be illegal "bodily fluid assault." The speakers reference "Oz" and a "body bomb" made of bodily fluids.
Potential Podcast Sponsorships
Pop Tarts
After the founder's passing, they propose reviving a past sponsorship with Pop Tarts. They recall a previous "one-night stand" promotion that ended.
Taco Bell
The hosts entertain a potential sponsorship from Taco Bell, imagining ordering custom items and open discussions with the brand.
Hot dog brands
Expressing fondness for hot dogs, the hosts mention Nathan's Famous, Hebrew National, Ballpark Franks and others as possible sponsors they'd enthusiastically endorse.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Frank Alvarez urinating in bottles while driving is a practice known as "bottle peeing" or "bottle urination," where individuals relieve themselves into a container while on the road to avoid stopping at restrooms. This behavior is often seen in situations where access to proper facilities is limited or inconvenient, such as during long drives or in traffic. It is important to note that this practice can be controversial due to hygiene concerns and legal implications related to public urination.
- Using feces as a potential weapon is a controversial and extreme tactic where individuals consider throwing feces at others to intimidate or harm them. This act is often viewed as highly unsanitary, dangerous, and can lead to legal consequences due to the risk of spreading diseases and being classified as bodily fluid assault. The idea of using feces as a weapon is not only physically harmful but also socially unacceptable in most cultures due to its repulsive nature and health risks associated with exposure to fecal matter.
Counterarguments
- Hand hygiene is a critical practice for preventing the spread of germs and maintaining personal health, regardless of whether others are present.
- Urinating in bottles while driving could be considered unsafe and unsanitary, as it distracts from driving and could lead to health issues or accidents.
- Washing only one hand after using the bathroom is not effective in removing germs and could contribute to the spread of bacteria and viruses.
- Using a tampon or feces as a weapon is not only unsanitary but also dehumanizing and could have serious legal and ethical implications.
- While sponsorships are important for podcast revenue, it is also crucial to consider the health implications of promoting certain food products, like Pop Tarts and hot dogs, which are often processed and not the healthiest choices.
- Taco Bell, while a popular brand, has been criticized for its nutritional content, and a sponsorship could imply endorsement of unhealthy eating habits.
- Endorsing hot dog brands without acknowledging the health concerns associated with processed meats could be seen as overlooking important nutritional information.
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Health and Hygiene Habits
The personal hygiene practices of individuals such as Rainn Wilson and Frank Alvarez reveal varying standards of cleanliness, particularly concerning hand-washing habits post-bathroom use, as well as unconventional approaches when facilities are not available.
Hand-washing habits after using the bathroom
Not washing hands after urinating when alone at home
Rainn Wilson, famously known for his role as Dwight on "The Office," along with Frank Alvarez, have candidly admitted to often not washing their hands after urinating, especially when they are at home alone. Alvarez specifically mentions that he skips hand-washing unless he accidentally gets urine on his hands.
Washing hands selectively after urinating around others
Frank Alvarez concedes that when he is not alone—particularly when in-laws or guests are present—he pretends to wash his hands by turning on the water to make it seem as though he's engaging in the act of hand-washing.
Using no soap when others are nearby, just making noise of washing hands
Continuing on the subject of cleanliness performance, Alvarez reveals that when others are around, he might get his hands and sometimes his face wet to give the appearance of washing, but he skips using soap—a behavior Joe Santagato also agrees with. It's noted that this sort of faux-cleansing, just rinsing hands with water without using soap, sometimes happens in public restrooms as well.
Urinating in bottles while driving
Frank Alvarez discusses his practice of urinating in a bottle while driving, a situation necessitated by the absence of restrooms. He describes a careful technique that involv ...
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Health and Hygiene Habits
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Rainn Wilson and Frank Alvarez have unconventional hygiene practices, such as not always washing their hands after using the bathroom, especially when alone at home. Alvarez even pretends to wash his hands by turning on the water when others are around, without using soap. Additionally, Alvarez discusses urinating in a bottle while driving, detailing a careful technique to avoid spillage. He also mentions occasionally washing only one hand after using the bathroom.
- When Frank Alvarez pretends to wash his hands by turning on the water when others are around, he is engaging in a deceptive act to give the appearance of proper hygiene practices without actually using soap. This behavior is a form of performance to maintain social norms and avoid judgment from those around him. It involves creating the sound and visual cues of hand-washing without actually cleaning the hands effectively. This practice can be seen as a social facade to appear clean and hygienic while not fully adhering to proper hand-washing protocols.
- Faux-cleansing by rinsing hands without using soap is a practice where individuals go through the motions of washing their hands by wetting them with water but skip using soap. This behavior gives the appearance of cleanliness without actually removing germs effectively. It is often done in situations where individuals want to appear hygienic without putting in the effort of proper hand-washing. This practice is not recommended as it does not effectively eliminate harmful bacteria and germs from the hands.
- Urinating in a bottle while driving is a practice some individuals resort to when restrooms are not readily available. This inv ...
Counterarguments
- Not washing hands after urinating can spread germs, even if one is alone at home, as bacteria can transfer to surfaces and potentially cause illness.
- Pretending to wash hands when others are around could be considered deceptive and may contribute to the spread of germs, especially if one then touches communal surfaces.
- Rinsing hands without soap is less effective at removing pathogens than proper hand-washing with soap and water, which could increase the risk of transmitting infectious diseases.
- Urinating in a bottle while driving could be seen as unsani ...
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Unsanitary Fighting Tactics
The speakers, including Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez, engage in a conversation exploring some highly unconventional and unsanitary tactics used in physical altercations.
Woman using tampon as weapon in fight
The speakers discuss an incident caught on video where they observed an Asian woman who, amidst an altercation, pulled out a tampon and used it as a weapon. Joe Santagato describes the woman swinging the tampon around like a mace in the fight. Frank Alvarez questions whether the tampon was used, mentioning its possible bloodiness, but admits he didn't look closely enough to confirm its condition. According to the speakers, there was a back-and-forth where the tampon was thrown, retrieved, and then used again to hit the opponent. They note that the tampon appeared unusually large, potentially a pad, and was red in color, which may suggest it had been used.
Legality and danger of using feces as a weapon
In another part of the discussion, one speaker raises the concept that defecating during a fight could potentially deter an opponent. This is based on the idea that someone willing to soil themselves may display a level of unpredictability or 'craziness' that could scare away an adversary. The conversation takes a theoretical turn as one speaker suggests that directly throwing one's feces during a fight could be an effective, albeit shocking, method to win. This prompts another speaker to question the lega ...
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Unsanitary Fighting Tactics
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Using a tampon as a weapon in a fight is an unconventional and unsanitary tactic where a person may pull out a tampon and use it to physically strike their opponent. This action can be shocking and unexpected, potentially causing discomfort or distraction to the other party. The tampon can be swung like a mace or thrown at the opponent during the altercation. The act of using a tampon in this manner is not a common or socially accepted form of self-defense or aggression.
- Using bodily fluids as a weapon, such as feces, can be considered a serious offense and may fall under the legal category of "bodily fluid assault." This type of assault involves intentionally exposing someone to bodily fluids in a harmful or offensive manner. The legality of such actions can vary by jurisdiction, but in many places, it is considered a criminal offense due to the potential health risks and psychological harm it can cause. Additionally, the use of bodily fluids as a weapon can be seen as a form of biological warfare and is generally condemned as highly illegal and unethical.
- In t ...
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Potential Podcast Sponsorships
During a podcast episode, Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez navigate discussions surrounding potential sponsorships, with a particular focus on food and beverage brands that resonate with their content and audience.
Revisiting Pop Tarts sponsorship after founder's passing
The duo reminisces about Pop-Tarts, in light of founder Bill Post's recent passing. While they have been critical of the brand in the past, the speakers indicate a prior sponsorship engagement that did not continue, likening it to a one-night stand. Despite the distance since then, they humorously propose a campaign to revitalize Pop-Tarts, including ideas like "Idea Guy Greg" to spearhead this rejuvenation. They reflect on the brand's vulnerability due to the loss of "Big Daddy Pop-Tart," suggesting they're ready to assist Pop-Tarts through this tough time. Moreover, the mention of Pop-Tarts being supportive in the past, possibly referencing some form of collaboration like a debate box, indicates a complex, if whimsical, relationship with the brand.
Considering Taco Bell as potential new sponsor
Taco Bell emerges as a potential new sponsor to capture the hosts’ attention. Despite repeated mentions of Taco Bell, the hosts imply that there's no direct interest yet from the fast-food company. The hosts entertain the idea of a partnership with Taco Bell, humorously pitching how they would order custom menu items on the show, and suggesting that the brand is “waiting in the wings.” They even hint at a bidding war between Pop-Tarts and Taco Bell, fostering an amusing narrative of competition for the sponsorship. They also express enthusiasm for open communication with Taco Bell, ...
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Potential Podcast Sponsorships
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Clarifications
- Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez are popular podcast hosts known for their engaging discussions and humor. They often explore various topics, including potential sponsorships, on their podcast. Their dynamic and comedic approach to podcasting has garnered a loyal following and made them sought-after influencers for brand partnerships.
- "Idea Guy Greg" is a fictional character mentioned in the podcast episode, proposed humorously as a figure to lead a potential revitalization campaign for Pop-Tarts. The hosts suggest this character as a creative force to inject new ideas and energy into the brand's marketing strategy following the passing of the brand's founder. The mention of "Idea Guy Greg" adds a playful and imaginative element to their discussion about how they could help reinvigorate the Pop-Tarts sponsorship.
- The hosts humorously suggest a scenario where Pop-Tarts and Taco Bell compete for sponsorship, creating a playful rivalry. This bidding war concept is presented in a light-hearted manner, emphasizing the hosts' interest in both brands. It adds an element of fun and excitement to the discussion about potential sponsorships. The hosts' banter about this fictional competition showcases their creativity and engagement with the sponsorship topic.
- The hot dog brands mentioned, such as Nathan's Famous, Hebrew National, Ballpark Franks, Subret, Thumans, and Boar's Head, are popular and well-known in the hot dog industry. By expressing their fondness for these brands, the hosts are indicating a potential sponsorship opportunity based on their genuine enjoyment and alignment with the show's content. These brands are recognized for their quality and variety in the hot dog market, making them suitable choices for endorsement on the podcast. The hosts' ...
Counterarguments
- While the hosts show enthusiasm for food and beverage sponsorships, it's important to consider the potential impact on their audience's health, especially with products like Pop-Tarts and fast food, which are often high in sugar and calories.
- The idea of "Idea Guy Greg" leading a campaign might not resonate with all listeners and could be seen as trivializing the process of brand rejuvenation, which typically involves a team of marketing professionals.
- The hosts' readiness to assist Pop-Tarts during a vulnerable time might be perceived as opportunistic rather than genuinely supportive, especially if the collaboration is primarily for financial gain.
- The humor around a bidding war between Pop-Tarts and Taco Bell could come off as unprofessional to potential sponsors who might prefer a more serious approach to business partnerships.
- The focus on ordering custom menu items from Taco Bell on the show might not align with the interests of all listeners, some of whom may prefer content that is not centered around food.
- ...
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