Podcasts > Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris > Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

By Ten Percent Happier

Discover the nuanced journey of a meditation retreat with Dan Harris's 'Ten Percent Happier' podcast, featuring insight from Spring Washam and the personal anecdotes of Dan's friend, Zev Borow. In this candid episode, listeners delve into the raw experiences of first-timers, like Borow, who faced mental challenges and the quiet confrontation with one's inner thoughts during the stillness of the retreat. On the other side of the struggle, profound realizations and a sense of presence awaited. Through the shared perspectives of Borow, Harris, and Washam, the intimate truths of these retreats unfold, offering a detox from our hyperconnected lives and an invitation to patience and inner understanding.

This episode also illuminates the valuable role of Dharma talks in meditation retreats, painting them as essential vehicles for encouragement and deeper insights into Buddhist teachings. From advocating daily acts of kindness to demystifying the illusory pursuit of perfection, the Dharma talks dissect core concepts that are transformative for retreat-goers. For those inspired to embark on this journey, the podcast provides practical advice on gaining access to the sought-after retreats. With Washam's tips on being proactive and persistent, even in the face of high demand and registration challenges, the episode lays out a clear and hopeful path for seekers of meditation retreat experiences.

Listen to the original

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Mar 11, 2024 episode of the Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

1-Page Summary

Experiences of going on your first meditation retreat

Participants in meditation retreats often face formidable challenges, alongside moments of profound insight. Zev Borow, for instance, found the experience excruciating, struggling with the severe lack of stimulation and the confrontation with unsettling thoughts and emotions. Others, like Harris and Washam, likened the retreat to a detox from constant communication and technology, providing an opportunity for the mind to surface intense judgments and voices.

Despite the struggles, retreats also promised powerful epiphanies. Borow had a revelation connecting his internal anguish with his past behaviors, and Harris experienced being present without chasing meditation as an achievement. Washam advocates for a change in perspective over time, emphasizing that these life-changing insights often emerge through patience and an awareness-based approach, rather than pursuing perfection.

The role and value of Dharma talks in providing encouragement and guidance

Dharma talks are central in meditation retreats as they provide encouragement and elucidation on Buddhist teachings. They are a source of inspiration, often covering the essence of kindness, the practice of surrender and acceptance, understanding of suffering, and the acknowledgment of the illusory nature of striving.

Kindness stands out as a universal theme, promoted as a daily practice towards oneself and others. Surrender and acceptance are also highlighted, with teachers advising against the heavy pursuit of spiritual success, which often mirrors career-driven mentalities that can cause further suffering. Dharma talks also normalize and validate the feeling of suffering, which is inherent to human existence, and dismantle the apparent value of striving by highlighting its deceptive quality. The clarity that participants achieve through these talks is instrumental in applying Buddhist principles to the experiences faced during retreats.

How to actually get into a meditation retreat

Gaining entry into a meditation retreat demands intentional action, with popular retreats like the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock often requiring hopefuls to participate in lotteries due to high demand. However, alternatives abound in various traditions such as Tibetan, Zen, or Goenka centers. Each tradition brings different formats and approaches, catering to a variety of preferences and meditation objectives.

Persistence is key, with Washam advising applicants to be proactive and timely in registration efforts. Planning ahead is critical, with an emphasis on acumen and determination. For those set on attending a retreat, with visualization and commitment, a path to participation will unfold.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, popular meditation retreat centers, often have high demand for their programs. To manage this demand, they use a lottery system for registration. This means that interested individuals must enter a random selection process to secure a spot in the retreats.
  • Different traditions like Tibetan, Zen, or Goenka centers offer unique formats and approaches for meditation retreats. Tibetan centers often focus on visualization practices and mantra recitation. Zen centers emphasize silent sitting meditation (zazen) and mindfulness. Goenka centers typically follow the Vipassana meditation technique, focusing on mindfulness of breath and body sensations. Each tradition provides a distinct framework and guidance for practitioners seeking different meditation experiences.
  • The illusory nature of striving in Dharma talks highlights the deceptive quality of relentless pursuit, emphasizing that the constant drive for spiritual success can lead to further suffering. Teachers often caution against approaching meditation practice with a mindset akin to career-driven ambitions, as this can perpetuate dissatisfaction and discontent. By recognizing the illusory nature of striving, individuals are encouraged to cultivate a more balanced and mindful approach to their spiritual journey, focusing on acceptance and surrender rather than relentless achievement. This perspective aims to shift the emphasis from goal-oriented striving to a more present-centered and compassionate engagement with the practice.
  • Dharma talks during meditation retreats help participants apply Buddhist principles by offering guidance on kindness, surrender, and acceptance. These talks normalize suffering and emphasize the illusory nature of striving, providing clarity on how to navigate challenges. By internalizing these teachings, participants can cultivate a deeper understanding of Buddhist concepts and integrate them into their retreat experiences, fostering personal growth and insight.

Counterarguments

  • While meditation retreats can lead to profound insights, not everyone may experience significant epiphanies or revelations; some individuals might find the experience less impactful or not in line with their expectations.
  • The detox from communication and technology is not universally beneficial; some individuals may find the sudden disconnection stressful or anxiety-inducing rather than therapeutic.
  • The notion that life-changing insights emerge through patience and an awareness-based approach may not resonate with everyone; some may argue that insights can also occur spontaneously or through other forms of practice.
  • Dharma talks, while central to many retreats, may not be as effective for all participants; some might prefer silent reflection or find inspiration from non-Buddhist sources.
  • The emphasis on kindness and daily practice towards oneself and others may be interpreted differently across cultures or personal beliefs, and not everyone may agree with the Buddhist approach to these concepts.
  • The advice against the heavy pursuit of spiritual success could be seen as counterintuitive to those who believe in setting and achieving specific spiritual goals.
  • The validation of suffering and the dismantling of the value of striving in Dharma talks may not align with philosophies that emphasize the importance of striving and overcoming challenges as a path to growth.
  • The clarity achieved through Dharma talks is subjective, and some participants may find that these talks do not necessarily provide the clarity or answers they are seeking.
  • The process of gaining entry into meditation retreats through lotteries or proactive registration might be criticized as being exclusive or discouraging to those who are not selected or who lack the resources to plan ahead.
  • The advice to be persistent and proactive in registration efforts may not take into account the varying personal circumstances that can affect an individual's ability to commit to a retreat, such as financial constraints or family responsibilities.
  • The suggestion that visualization and commitment will lead to a path to participation in a retreat may not hold true for everyone, as external factors beyond an individual's control can impede their ability to attend.

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

Experiences of going on your first meditation retreat

The passage dictates the intense and often transformative experiences encountered by individuals who engage in meditation retreats. Zev Borow and others provide a candid look into the struggles and epiphanies that can occur in such a focused, contemplative environment.

Difficulties of silent retreats, including lack of stimulation and dealing with uncomfortable thoughts and emotions

Zev Borow shares that he considered leaving his first meditation retreat daily due to the "excruciating" nature of the experience. He had come unprepared for the intense regimen of 10 hours of daily meditation, having done very little beforehand. The silence of the retreat was not as challenging for Borow as the lack of input into his brain, which he described as weaponized boredom, leading to panic and terror as he grappled with self-generated thoughts and emotions like sadness and doubt.

Similarly, Harris describes retreats as a shock to the system, like quitting an addiction, due to renouncing everyday distractions like technology and constant communication. Spring Washam notes that many fear the noble silence for not being able to talk, but often the mind becomes a "tornado" of voices and judgments. Washam also observes that striving for perfection in mindfulness and the no-eye-contact rule can lead to frustration and feelings of awkwardness, respectively.

Even the simplest activities, such as bed-making or teeth-brushing, can become focal points of pleasure simply due to their being something to focus on amidst the lack of stimulation. The physical and emotional discomfort that arises can make days feel long and full of suffering as people move away from the loud dominance of their minds. Borow's recounting shows he constantly negotiated with himself on the value of staying at the retreat versus reverting to old ways.

Powerful moments of insight or wisdom that can arise during retreats

Despite the difficulties, Borow mentions transformative moments of profound and potentially life-altering insight. It was during the retreat that Borow connected his internal pain to past unkindness he had dealt others, an awakening that provided him with significant clarity. Such experiences have allowed him to find meditating for half an hour daily not only doable but integral to maintaining insights gained at the retreat.

Harris, too, describes a critical breakthrough after speaking with Washam, wherein he shifted from tryin ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Experiences of going on your first meditation retreat

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Noble silence, in the context of meditation retreats, refers to a practice where participants refrain from speaking to maintain a quiet and contemplative environment. It involves abstaining from verbal communication to deepen introspection and focus on inner experiences. This silence helps individuals confront their thoughts and emotions without external distractions, fostering a deeper connection with oneself and the practice of mindfulness. The term originates from Buddhist teachings, emphasizing the importance of internal stillness and mental clarity during meditation.
  • Dharma is a concept with diverse meanings in Indian religions like H ...

Counterarguments

  • While some individuals may find the lack of stimulation during silent retreats challenging, others may experience it as a welcome break from the overstimulation of daily life.
  • The experience of panic and terror in response to silence and self-reflection is not universal; some attendees may find silence peaceful and may have a more positive experience with their thoughts and emotions.
  • The comparison of retreats to quitting an addiction might be seen as an oversimplification, as the psychological processes involved in addiction withdrawal can be significantly different from those experienced during a retreat.
  • Not everyone may experience the mind as a "tornado" of voices and judgments during noble silence; some may find that their mind quiets down more easily than expected.
  • The no-eye-contact rule and striving for perfection in mindfulness may not lead to frustration and awkwardness for all participants; some may find these practices helpful for their meditation and personal growth.
  • Simple activities becoming focal points of pleasure could be seen as a positive outcome, as it may indicate a heightened appreciation for the present moment and everyday tasks.
  • The negotiation between staying at the retreat or reverting to old ways may not be as pronounced for some participants, who may feel a strong commitment to the retreat experience.
  • Transformative moments of profound insight are not guaranteed for every retreat participant; some may have a mor ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

The role and value of Dharma talks in providing encouragement and guidance

Dharma talks play a crucial role in the study and practice of Buddhism, offering encouragement and a deeper understanding of core teachings that guide practitioners. Dan Harris, Zev Borow, and Spring Washam offer insights into the significant value that Dharma talks bring, focusing on kindness, surrender, acceptance, the truth of suffering, and the illusion of striving.

Key Buddhist concepts and teachings

Kindness

Washam and Borow stress the paramount importance of kindness in their discussions. Borow recounts a Dharma talk that led him to the realization that his own unkindness was the source of his sadness, prompting a desire to be nicer to people. He reflects on the profound simplicity and beauty in viewing kindness as the sole priority in life. Washam echoes this sentiment, approvingly citing the Dalai Lama's statement "my religion is kindness," and underscores the importance of incorporating kindness daily towards oneself, animals, and others.

Surrender and acceptance

Harris discusses how Dharma talks help learners in the process of surrender during retreats as they receive encouragement and guidance from teachers like Joseph Goldstein and Washam herself. Washam highlights the necessity of making peace with one's striving and clinging mind as part of practicing surrender and acceptance. She warns against approaching spiritual practices with a mentality of striving, akin to that found in work life, as this can lead to suffering rather than spiritual progress.

The truth of suffering

Dharma talks provide ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

The role and value of Dharma talks in providing encouragement and guidance

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Dharma talks in Buddhism are teachings or lectures given by experienced practitioners or teachers to share insights, guidance, and interpretations of Buddhist teachings. These talks aim to deepen understanding, inspire practice, and provide practical guidance for applying Buddhist principles in daily life. They often cover key concepts like kindness, acceptance, suffering, and the nature of reality, helping practitioners navigate their spiritual journey. Dharma talks serve as a valuable tool for learning, reflection, and transformation within the Buddhist tradition.
  • In Buddhism, surrender and acceptance involve letting go of attachment and resistance to the present moment. Surrender is about releasing the need for control and allowing things to unfold naturally. Acceptance means acknowledging reality without judgment or the desire for it to be different. These practices help cultivate inner peace and reduce suffering by embracing life as it is.
  • In Buddhism, the truth of suffering, known as Dukkha, is one of the Four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha. It encompasses the idea that life is inherently unsatisfactory and filled with various forms of suffering, including physical, emotional, and existential pain. Understanding and accepting this truth is crucial in Buddhist practice as it leads to the recognition of the causes of suffering and the path to its cessation, ultimately aiming for liberation from the cycle of rebirth. The truth of suffering serves as a foundational concept in Buddhism, emphasizing the impermanent and unsatisfactory nature of ...

Counterarguments

  • While Dharma talks can offer encouragement and understanding, some individuals may find that they do not resonate with the format or content of the talks, and may prefer other methods of learning and practice, such as meditation, reading, or one-on-one guidance.
  • The emphasis on kindness is important, but it's also crucial to acknowledge that kindness alone may not address all ethical complexities in life. Sometimes, difficult decisions and actions may not appear kind on the surface but are necessary for greater good or justice.
  • The concepts of surrender and acceptance are valuable, but there may be situations where active change and resistance are more appropriate responses than surrender, especially in cases of injustice or harm.
  • While Dharma talks normalize the experience of suffering, some critics argue that an overemphasis o ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

How to actually get into a meditation retreat

The quest to find inner peace through a meditation retreat involves more than just the desire to meditate; it requires strategic planning and persistence. Dan Harris and Spring Washam dive into practical steps to navigate the process successfully.

Dan Harris points to the East Coast's Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts, and West Coast's Spirit Rock, as well-known centers in the Buddhist tradition that offer intensive meditation experiences. However, securing a spot in these popular centers often involves a lottery system due to their high demand.

Finding alternatives like Tibetan, Zen, or Goenka centers

Apart from the established centers, there are alternatives for those looking to immerse themselves in different traditions. Spring Washam speaks of various retreat types, from insight meditation, which she regards as a good starting point, to more structured and rigorous ones like those offered by Goenka centers, which follow the teachings of S.N. Goenka. She is familiar with the structure of Goenka retreats, noting they sometimes offer lighter dinners during the retreat.

Other traditions mentioned include Tibetan, Zen, and multiple yogic practices, providing an array of paths for those seeking solace in meditation. Harris underscores that ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

How to actually get into a meditation retreat

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock on the West Coast are well-known meditation centers that offer intensive meditation experiences in the Buddhist tradition. These centers are popular choices for individuals seeking structured retreats to deepen their meditation practice. IMS and Spirit Rock often have high demand, leading to a lottery system for securing spots at their retreats.
  • In the context of meditation retreats, a lottery system is used by popular retreat centers to allocate spots due to high demand. Instead of a first-come, first-served basis, interested individuals submit their names, and participants are randomly selected. This system aims to provide a fair chance for everyone to attend these sought-after retreats.
  • S.N. Goenka was a prominent teacher of Vipassana meditation, an ancient meditation technique. Goenka established meditation centers worldwide that offer courses based on the teachings of Vipassana. These centers focus on self-observation and mindfulness practices to achieve inner peace and self-transformation. Participants in Goenka centers typically follow a structured program that includes silent meditation sessions, discourses, and guidance on Vipassana principles.
  • Tibetan, Zen, and various yogic practices are distinct traditions within meditation that offer unique techniques and philosophies for practitioners. Tibetan meditation often involves visualization practices and mantra recitation, while Zen meditation focuses on mindfulness and direct experience. Yogic practices encompass a wide range of techniques, including breathwork, postures (asanas), and meditation, originating from ancient Indian traditions like Hatha and Kundalini yoga. Each tradition provides a different approach to meditation, catering to diverse preferences and spiritual paths.
  • Zev's comparison of commitment to retreats to having a child emphasizes the level of dedication and responsibility required for both endeavors. Just like caring for a child demands u ...

Counterarguments

  • While Dan Harris recommends popular centers like IMS and Spirit Rock, some may argue that smaller, less well-known retreats can offer a more personalized and intimate experience.
  • The lottery system for securing a spot in popular centers might be seen as a barrier that could discourage individuals from pursuing meditation retreats, suggesting a need for a more accessible approach.
  • While Spring Washam suggests alternatives like Tibetan, Zen, and Goenka centers, it's important to note that not all meditation traditions may suit every individual, and some may find other practices more aligned with their personal beliefs or needs.
  • Insight meditation being a good starting point for beginners is subjective; some may find other forms of meditation more approachable or effective based on their personal preferences.
  • The structured and rigorous nature of Goenka retreats might not be suitable for everyone, especially those who may require a gentler introduction to meditation or have specific physical or mental health considerations.
  • The provision of lighter dinners at Goenka retreats could be seen as a drawback for individuals with certain dietary needs or preferences who may require more substantial meals to maintain energy and focus during intensive practice.
  • The comparison of commitment to retreats with having a child might be seen as an overstatement ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free

Create Summaries for anything on the web

Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser

Shortform Extension CTA