Why Must Widowhood Be So Difficult?

The terms "widow" and "widower" have deep historical origins and their evolution reflects the societal views on gender and loss.

The historical origins and evolution of the terms "widow" and "widower"

The etymological roots of the words, indicating separation and loss

The word "widow" originates from the early 14th century, with its roots tracing back to a Proto-Indo-European word. This ancient word signifies a state of emptiness, separation, or solitude, a reflection of the loss and bereavement associated with widowhood.

The gendered distinction, with "widower" being the only suffix in English that changes from feminine to masculin ...

In patriarchal societies, widows have historically faced a precarious existence, often viewed as outlaws without legal protection. The challenges and oppression they face vary from being cast out of their homes to being subject to harmful superstitions that can lead to their deaths.

Widows historically viewed as outlaws, without legal protection

In the ancient world, widows, along with orphans and strangers, were often regarded as outlaws—not because they were criminals, but because they were not under the protection of the law. This classification left them vulnerable to harm and exploitation, with perpetrators facing no penalties. For instance, in such societies where inheritance passed through male lineage, typically by the rule of primogenitor, widows could find themselves cast out and denied basic rights and resources, going from a life of wealth to living in poverty.

In these societies, widows were frequently forced into marrying their deceased husband's brother, a practice known as levirate marriage. This was seen as a way to keep the widow within the protection of society. If she refused such a marriage, she risked living on the margins of society and being treated as an outlaw.

Widows frequently cast out and denied basic rights and resources

The plight of widows in patriarchal societies also fed certain stereotypes, such as the image of a "witch in the wood," which stemmed from widows who, after being cast out, had to fend for themselves. When widows did not receive support from their in-laws, they might have had to depend on the church or charitable organizations for their survival.

Widows still facing mistreatment and oppression in many developing nations

Even today, widows in some developing nations continue to endure severe mistreatment and oppression. Such practices include having their heads shaved, being isolated, and being forced to engage in "purification" rituals that are degrading and could put their lives at risk.

Practices like shaving heads, isolating, and forcing "purification" rituals on widows

In Nigeria, for example, widows may undergo customs that involve head-shaving, isolation from family, restrictions on food and drink, and forced mourning rituals, including drinking the water used to wash their deceased husband's body. This practice is rooted in the belief that the widow needs to prove she did not cause her husban ...

Chuck Bryant highlights the historical struggles widows have faced regarding property rights and inheritance, showing the evolution from complete dependency to steps towards independence and legal protection.

Widows often denied inheritance and property rights, with assets passing to male heirs

Under the concept of "coverture," a wife's legal identity was essentially erased upon marriage, with any property or wages earned becoming the husband’s. Bryant touches on how this tradition left many widows without legal rights or resources after their husbands' deaths.

The concept of "coverture" that erased a wife's legal identity upon marriage

Bryant explains the repercussions of coverture, noting that a wife had no right to her own earnings, and any property acquired in the marriage belonged to the husband. Tragically, when a husband died, the widow's social and legal personhood often vanished too, making her vulnerable and without rights.

Gradual legal reforms to protect widows' rights, including dower and marital property laws

Despite the harsh realities under coverture, some legal mechanisms, such as dower laws, provided financial security to widows. Bryant outlines that, dating back to the Middle Ages, dower laws assured a widow could live in her husband’s house or receive one-third of his estate.

But many widows still facing financial hardship and loss of resources after a spouse's death

Although legal reforms have been made – like Mississippi allowing a woman to own property in 1839, and California’s 1849 constitution stating that a woman’s property could not be sold by the husband – widows still often face financial hardships. Bryant points out that a widow gained f ...

The treatment and perception of widows and widowers have historically differed, with distinct social and economic consequences for each. Modern research indicates that widowers may now suffer more severe impacts on their health and emotions following the loss of a spouse.

Widows historically faced much greater social and economic consequences

Widows were often marginalized historically, while widowers faced less disruption to their social and economic status following the death of a spouse.

Widowers often remarried quickly, while widows were cast out or expected to remain unmarried

Traditionally, the death of a wife had little effect on a man's status, which led to the concept of a "widower" being somewhat foreign. Society usually favored male family members, like sons or the in-laws, over the daughter-in-law (widow). Widows often faced the tribulation of being shunned or seen as tainted, struggling with not only personal loss but societal rejection. Some societies had customs, such as Levirate marriage, where widows were expected to marry their deceased husband's brother, often against their will, as a means of maintaining social structure. Apart from the so-called "merry widows" who might inherit wealth, widows commonly faced difficulties, relying on their in-laws' goodwill or charity.

The widow succession tradition emerged as one of the few social and political roles reserved for widows, permitting them to hold office only after their husbands' death. This practice underlined the broader social restrictions and the limited access to power for women based on their own merit. Studies, such as one from 1996, highlight that widowers tend to remarry at much higher rates than widows, with 60% remarrying within two years compa ...