S19 E7: (2/3) [Sarah] Run Girl Run

Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? is a guide to how abusive men think, explaining the motivation and logic behind domestic abuse so that victims can better defend themselves against it. Bancroft draws on his years of experience as a counselor working with abusive men to shed light on how they deliberately confuse, manipulate, and intimidate their victims to get what they want. Ultimately, Bancroft hopes that readers will use his book to better assert their own humanity and independence, either leaving the relationship or demanding that their partner take responsibility for and change his abusive behavior.

This guide will break down Bancroft’s insights into the motivations and justifications behind abusive behavior and supplement them with the work of other abuse advocates writing since the book’s publication in 2002. We’ll also provide updated statistics and compare domestic abuse to other forms of violence.

Does it sometimes feel like everybody else has life figured out except you? Rachel Hollis, author of Girl, Wash Your Face, wants you to know that’s a lie. Life is messy and complicated for everyone, but once you understand that you are in control of your life, you can begin to live with passion, joy and confidence.

Aimed at women who feel overwhelmed and unworthy, Girl, Wash Your Face examines 20 lies that can hold you back from becoming who you were meant to be. Hollis details her own mistakes, traumas and life lessons, and shares with readers the strategies she used to overcome these lies and find true happiness.

Many of us have met someone who’s a little too vain and loves to show off—people often referred to as “narcissists.” However, despite this common understanding of narcissism as a mildly annoying personality trait, it can also be a severe clinical condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This type of narcissist—sometimes called a “malignant narcissist”—lacks empathy, has a grandiose sense of self, and often abuses their romantic partners, causing them long-term psychological distress.

In Power, researcher and abuse survivor Shahida Arabi describes the characteristics of malignant narcissists to help people avoid or end relationships with narcissists. She says understanding NPD is crucial because anyone can fall prey to narcissists, who often seem like ideal partners in the early stages.

In this guide, we’ll provide an overview of NPD, describe a narcissist’s signature manipulation strategies, and outline Arabi’s advice for healing after narcissistic abuse. We’ll also provide insight from other experts on how abuse impacts people psychologically and include tips that apply more broadly to navigating relationships and breakups.