Podcasts > REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal > Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

By Jon Bernthal

In this episode of REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal, Pete Davidson candidly discusses the challenges of public life and personal trauma. Davidson shares how the public scrutiny over his dating history overshadows his professional work, and how he uses self-deprecating humor to cope with outside criticism while striving for authenticity.

He also opens up about the lasting impact of his father's death during 9/11 on his mental health, and how he manages conditions like BPD and PTSD through therapy techniques and his trusted support system. Additionally, Davidson reflects on his rewarding collaboration with cherished creative partners, including his gratitude for Joe Pesci's involvement in his latest project.

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Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

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Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

1-Page Summary

The Challenges of Public Life

Pete Davidson navigates public scrutiny over his personal life

Pete Davidson expresses frustration that his personal life, particularly his dating history, overshadows attention for his professional work in comedy and acting. He admits finding it disturbing to have paparazzi and public narratives focus more on his relationships than his achievements.

Using self-deprecating humor and maintaining authenticity

Davidson copes through self-deprecating humor, feeling it makes him impervious to outside criticism. However, he grapples with how much to share publicly as he strives for authenticity while maintaining privacy. Despite public pressures, he appreciates genuine fan support.

Pete's Childhood Trauma and Mental Health

9/11's lasting impact on Pete Davidson's mental state

Davidson speaks openly about the profound grief from losing his father on 9/11 and its influence on his development. He shares the prolonged uncertainty surrounding his father's unconfirmed death in those tragic weeks, per Bernthal's observations.

Coping strategies and support system

To manage conditions like BPD and PTSD, Davidson utilizes therapy techniques like a DBT workbook and reaching out to friends during difficult episodes. He credits his trusted inner circle for providing crucial accountability and emotional support.

Collaboration on a New Creative Project

Working closely with cherished creative collaborators

For his latest project with Netflix, Davidson relishes the tight-knit team dynamic and lack of ego, allowing the best ideas to shine. He bonds through shared interests like basketball and "The Sopranos."

Meaningful milestones and legendary involvement

Davidson expresses immense pride in this transformative work, eager to showcase it. He voices heartfelt gratitude for Joe Pesci's passionate involvement, which has profoundly impacted his life and career.

A rewarding experience despite challenges

Though overcoming obstacles like rewriting for a departing actor and isolation while filming in Australia, Davidson found the process deeply rewarding. Pesci's down-to-earth rapport contributed to an "honest and organic" collaborative spirit.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can use humor to navigate uncomfortable situations by practicing light-hearted self-commentary in everyday conversations. Start by observing situations where you feel slightly out of your comfort zone and try to introduce a humorous observation about yourself that eases tension. For example, if you're at a social event and spill a drink, instead of showing embarrassment, you might say, "I always like to make a splash at parties!"
  • Develop a personal support network by identifying and reaching out to a few trusted individuals who understand your challenges. Begin by making a list of friends or family members who have been supportive in the past. Initiate regular catch-ups with them, where you can share your experiences and feelings in a safe environment. This could be as simple as scheduling a weekly coffee date with a friend who is a good listener.
  • Embrace collaborative projects by volunteering for group activities that align with your interests. Look for local community groups or online platforms where people collaborate on projects, such as community gardens, book clubs, or amateur film-making collectives. Join one that resonates with you and actively participate, focusing on building rapport with team members through shared goals and mutual respect.

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Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

The creative process and challenges of being a public figure in entertainment

Pete navigates the complexities of fame and public scrutiny

Pete Davidson describes the struggles he faces as a public figure whose personal life often overshadows his professional work. He notes that the attention to his dating history rather than his work on national television and in Hollywood is particularly frustrating.

Pete describes the difficulties of having his personal life become the focus of attention rather than his work

Despite not being active on social media or seeking attention, Davidson finds himself in the uncomfortable position of having paparazzi and public narratives focus on his personal life. The attention not only disturbs him but also impacts the people around him, altering public perception and overshadowing the relevance of his work.

Pete explains how he uses self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism and creative approach in his comedy

Davidson touches on the significant burden of being observed constantly and admits the challenge of growing personally while under the public eye. He discusses his use of self-deprecating humor to cope, pointing out that by making fun of himself, he feels more impervious to criticism from others. This egoless approach helps him connect with audiences, but it also has its downsides, leading him to reconsider how much of his life he shares publicl ...

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The creative process and challenges of being a public figure in entertainment

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Pete Davidson may feel his personal life overshadows his professional work, it could be argued that his personal life has also contributed to his fame and may have provided additional platforms for his professional endeavors.
  • Public scrutiny is a known aspect of celebrity life, and some might argue that it is a trade-off for the benefits and opportunities that come with fame.
  • The use of self-deprecating humor, while a valid coping mechanism, might sometimes reinforce negative perceptions or invite further scrutiny, which could be counterproductive to the goal of focusing on his professional work.
  • While constant observation is challenging, other public figures have managed to maintain a more private personal life, suggesting that there might be strategies to manage public attention that have not been employed.
  • Balancing authenticity with control over one's public per ...

Actionables

  • You can journal about your daily experiences to gain insight into how external perceptions affect your self-image. Start by writing down instances where you felt judged or observed by others, and reflect on how these moments impacted your feelings and behavior. This practice can help you understand the influence of public scrutiny on your personal growth and develop strategies to maintain your authenticity.
  • Develop a personal narrative through storytelling or creative writing to explore and express your authentic self. By crafting stories that resonate with your experiences, you can control how you present your persona to the world. This exercise allows you to balance what you share publicly and what you keep private, helping you navigate the challenges of personal exposure.
  • Create a support network by connecting with people who appre ...

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Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

Pete's personal life, mental health, and coping mechanisms

Pete's traumatic childhood experiences have influenced his outlook and behavior

Pete Davidson speaks candidly about the immense impact of losing his father on 9/11 on his personal development and mental state, shedding light on the profound grief that came with such a tragic event. Bernthal highlights the emotional weight of Pete's experience, while Pete himself talks about the misconceptions and criticisms he faces regarding jokes he makes about his father. He explains that these rare jokes are a way for him to keep his father's memory alive.

Pete recounts the confusion and hope that surrounded the weeks after 9/11, as his father's death was not immediately confirmed, painting a picture of an extended period of uncertainty and sorrow, which was especially trying for his mother to manage on her own.

Pete utilizes various therapeutic techniques and a strong support system to manage his challenges

In his effort to manage the trauma and mental health conditions such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Pete turns to therapy and specific strategies for dealing with episodes of self-harm. He describes utilizing a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) workbook, which provides coping mechanisms like cold showers and reaching out to friends when urges arise. Over time, he has learned to build awareness that the intense emotions leading to self-harm are fleeting and not reflective of reality.

Pete acknowledges his struggle with trust, especially in the context of his career in Hollywood, and continues to work on overcoming his lifelong difficulty with believing people. He also speaks about combatting black-and-white thinking, a characteristic of BPD, learning to appreciate the nuances in situations and not allow a single negative aspect to overshadow the whole.

Pete emphasizes the importance of surrounding himself with trusted friends who can provide accountability and support

Davidson talks about the value o ...

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Pete's personal life, mental health, and coping mechanisms

Additional Materials

Actionables

- Create a personal humor journal to explore the therapeutic effects of humor by writing down jokes or funny observations about your own life challenges, which can serve as a private coping mechanism and a way to reflect on personal growth.

  • Keeping a humor journal can help you process emotions in a light-hearted way, similar to how someone might use jokes to deal with difficult memories. For example, if you're dealing with work stress, you might write a satirical job description for your current role, finding humor in the daily grind.
  • Start a 'feelings thermometer' activity where you regularly check in with your emotions and rate their intensity on a scale from 1 to 10, noting the triggers and your responses to help recognize the temporary nature of intense feelings.
  • This can be as simple as setting reminders throughout the day to pause and assess how you're feeling, much like taking your temperature when you're sick. Over time, you might notice patterns in what triggers high-intensity emotions and learn to anticipate and manage them better. For instance, if you rate your anxiety as an 8 after a meeting, you might plan a short walk before your next meeting to help reduce that number.
  • ...

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Pete Davidson on Trauma, Hollywood, and Finding Happiness | Real Ones

The collaborative dynamics of working on a new project with friends

Pete Davidson reflects on the positive experiences and close relationships he's cultivated while working on his latest project, emphasizing the tight-knit creative dynamic and fulfillment it brings to his career.

Pete approaches his latest project as an opportunity to work closely with his closest creative collaborators

Expressing creative control and team coherence

Pete Davidson cherishes the chance to tell a story "his way," taking advantage of a rare opportunity for creative control. With excitement, he discusses working with a close-knit team where ego is left at the door, and the best ideas always take precedence. This project, which includes his show and a Ramones script with Netflix, provided him with the ideal platform to collaborate with friends and operate within an atmosphere that values collective creative input.

Building camaraderie and connection

Davidson shares anecdotes about playing basketball with his friend Simon and bonding with another friend, Alex, over a shared love of "The Sopranos." His immediate connection with John hints at effortless collaboration. A critical aspect of this comfort is working on an "ego-less" set where the priority is the integrity of the final product above individual contributions. Davidson expresses admiration for all involved, appreciating that everyone on the team is someone he respects and enjoys spending time with.

Pete's new project represents a meaningful milestone in his career

Proud and eager to share

Davidson speaks of his project with enthusiasm, noting that it marks a significant shift in his life, and he feels immense pride in the final product. It's a transformative piece of work that he's eager to showcase, a deviation from his typically reserved attitude towards his past projects.

Gratitude for legendary involvement

The involvement of Joe Pesci is a glowing highlight for Davidson. Pete shares a heartfelt gratitude towards Pesci, indicating that his decision to join the project has fundamentally impacted Pete's life and career. Pesci's participation, driven by passion for the material and not necessity, has left Dav ...

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The collaborative dynamics of working on a new project with friends

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Pete Davidson's latest project involves working on a show and a script about the band Ramones with Netflix. He emphasizes the collaborative and creative aspects of working with a close-knit team that values collective input. Davidson expresses gratitude for the involvement of Joe Pesci in the project, highlighting the impact of Pesci's passionate contribution on his career. Despite facing challenges like rewriting for an actor who backed out and working in isolation in Australia, Davidson found the overall experience rewarding and transformative.
  • Joe Pesci's involvement in Pete Davidson's project is significant because it adds a layer of credibility and prestige to the production. Pesci's decision to join the project was driven by his passion for the material, not just for the sake of being involved. His presence elevates the project and creates an electric atmosphere whenever he appears on screen. Davidson expresses deep gra ...

Counterarguments

  • While creative control is valued, it can sometimes lead to a narrow perspective if not balanced with external feedback and diverse viewpoints.
  • Collaborating with friends might create a comfortable environment, but it could also introduce biases and hinder objective decision-making.
  • An ego-less working environment is idealistic; in reality, personal ambitions and egos can sometimes influence even the most collaborative projects.
  • The significance of a project is subjective and can vary from person to person; what is a milestone for one may not be as impactful to others.
  • While Joe Pesci's involvement is celebrated, it's important to recognize that the success of a pr ...

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