S4 Ep 11: The Truth about Temperament: How to Better Understand your Child's Personality

A third to a half of Americans are introverts, according to author Susan Cain, but they’re often marginalized. In Quiet, Cain contends that Western society is designed around an “extrovert ideal” that celebrates those who are bold and charismatic. However, unbridled extroversion can lead to disasters, such as the fall of Enron and the 2008 financial crisis.

By overvaluing extroverts and treating introverts as misfits, society loses out on introverts’ unique strengths—for instance, they’re highly creative, astute observers, and adept at solving complex problems. Cain argues for a balance in society, school, and work that lets introverts be true to themselves and where the two personality types complement each other.

No, you’re not a bad parent. And your kids are actually good kids—parenting is just hard. Do you wish it came with a manual? Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside might be just what you need.

Good Inside is a parenting manual to help you make changes in your child’s behavior while building a positive relationship with them. Most parenting advice sees children’s behavior as a problem to be fixed through time-outs, rewards, and serious conversations. But Becky Kennedy argues that these strategies jeopardize your connection with your children. That’s a high price to pay for band-aid strategies that don't deal with the root causes of problematic behaviors.

Our guide lays out the core principles of Kennedy’s approach to parenting, her essential toolkit for dealing with challenging behavior, and strategies to deal with 10 common parenting challenges. We complement Kennedy’s advice with that of other experts, including the authors of parenting classics The Whole-Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

A third to a half of Americans are introverts, according to author Susan Cain, but they’re often marginalized. In Quiet, Cain contends that Western society is designed around an “extrovert ideal” that celebrates those who are bold and charismatic. However, unbridled extroversion can lead to disasters, such as the fall of Enron and the 2008 financial crisis.

By overvaluing extroverts and treating introverts as misfits, society loses out on introverts’ unique strengths—for instance, they’re highly creative, astute observers, and adept at solving complex problems. Cain argues for a balance in society, school, and work that lets introverts be true to themselves and where the two personality types complement each other.

Trauma can stem from abuse to a severe car accident to wartime combat—and cause a lifetime of flashbacks, nightmares, isolation, insomnia, hypervigilance, and rage. In The Body Keeps the Score, the author explores how diagnosing and treating trauma has evolved as new technologies, research, and fields of science emerged.

Trauma’s impact is not only mental, emotional, and neurological, but also physiological: Trauma rewires the brain to put people in a constant state of stress or numbness, leading to a host of physical problems.

In this summary, you’ll learn:

• Why trauma survivors feel like their trauma is never-ending
• How flashbacks make parts of the brain shut down and others to go into overdrive
• Why some trauma survivors can’t recognize themselves in the mirror
• How activities like choral singing, yoga, and theater can be therapeutic

Author Jordan Peterson argues that modern secularism and reliance on science has left a void in answers to important existential questions: What is the point of living? Why do bad things happen to good people? What am I supposed to do to make myself happier? 12 Rules for Life addresses these questions and gives a set of life principles to live by. Learn why you should stop telling lies to others and yourself, why you should stop doing things you know are bad for you, and how to pursue what is truly meaningful for you.

Author Jordan Peterson argues that modern secularism and reliance on science has left a void in answers to important existential questions: What is the point of living? Why do bad things happen to good people? What am I supposed to do to make myself happier? 12 Rules for Life addresses these questions and gives a set of life principles to live by. Learn why you should stop telling lies to others and yourself, why you should stop doing things you know are bad for you, and how to pursue what is truly meaningful for you.

How can we raise kids to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate? In Unconditional Parenting, author and lecturer Alfie Kohn argues that we should throw away the standard parenting rulebook and replace it with a new approach built on unconditional support, acceptance, and understanding.

Find out what kids really need from their parents, why using rewards and punishments doesn’t work (and can even backfire) in the long term, and what you can do to make your kids feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they do.

In this guide, we highlight Kohn’s practical advice and add a few more techniques to try out. We also update Kohn’s research and consider ideas from development experts with similar approaches, including Maria Montessori and Janet Lansbury.

Do you want to cultivate a healthy relationship with your child? Do you wish you had the tools to understand them better? In The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, Philippa Perry offers guidance for strengthening your bonds with your child and raising an emotionally secure individual. She argues that you can improve your parent-child relationship no matter your child’s age by examining how your parents’ style of parenting impacts your own, listening to your child, and meeting them with respect and understanding.

In this guide, we’ll discuss Perry’s advice for fostering a strong, loving parent-child relationship. Additionally, we’ll explore various ways to positively influence your child’s behavior, including the way they treat themselves and the way they learn to resolve conflicts. In our commentary, we’ll examine parenting advice from other authors and look deeper into some of the psychological principles underpinning Perry’s ideas.