Podcasts > Raising Good Humans > Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

By Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Dive into the dynamic world of motherhood with Aliza Pressman as she engages in a vivid conversation with Alanna Ubach, Andie Mitchell, and Sabrina Kohlberg on the "Raising Good Humans" podcast. This episode offers an intriguing look into the character of Suze Howard, portrayed by guest speaker Ubach, and dissects the archetype of the 'cool mom' in contemporary society. Ubach draws inspiration from her memories of a real-life maternal figure, Linda Morales, to bring depth and nuance to her character. Unlike the often criticized pop culture trope, Suze Howard emerges as a guardian, prioritizing an informed and vigilant approach to her child's well-being over mere social acceptance.

The episode explores complex maternal motivations, the importance of authentic communication between parents and their offspring, and the diverse challenges of raising different children. Through discussions around Suze's protective instincts and the compelling sibling dynamics between her daughters Maude and Cassie, the speakers shed light on different facets of parenting. The portrayal of Suze's involvement with the community's youths underlines a mother's influence and the delicate balance between friendship and surveillance. Tune in to 'Raising Good Humans' for an absorbing dialogue that examines the essence of evolved motherhood as it intersects with the ideals and realities of contemporary parental roles.

Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

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Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

1-Page Summary

Larger Context of Suze Howard Character

Suze Howard, a character vividly brought to life by Alanna Ubach, stems from Ubach's memories of a real-life 'cool mom' named Linda Morales. Linda represented a safe haven for her son and other children in a small town where they encountered social pressures. Unlike the stereotypical 'cool mom' often seen in media like "Mean Girls," who seeks approval, Suze is built with a protective instinct aimed at safeguarding her child and his friends. Her priority isn't to be liked but to keep an informed and controlled environment for the kids' safety.

Suze's Complex Motivations

Inspired by the real-life Linda Morales, Suze Howard is a mosaic of compassion and a need for control within her community. Suze's earnest drive to help is evident when she supports Sydney through her pregnancy, highlighting her caring nature. Additionally, Suze's inclination to befriend the youth serves a dual purpose; not only does it create approachable connections, but it also allows her to monitor their activities closely. This stems from her need to keep the community’s children under vigilant watch.

Communication Between Cool Moms and Kids

The concept of 'cool moms,' as exemplified by Suze, often facilitates more honest and open communication with their children. Mitchell notes the benefits of this transparency in building trusting relationships. This two-way street of honesty is exemplified by the sensitive manner in which Suze addresses Cassie about her involvement with Maddie’s boyfriend, showing that maintaining honesty is crucial, even when parenting through the tough times.

Contrast Between Suze's Daughters

Suze's daughters, Maude and Cassie, present a contrasting sibling dynamic. Maude is the archetype of a well-behaved daughter who follows rules and does not engage in manipulation. On the flip side, Cassie embodies the quintessential rebellious spirit, demonstrated through actions such as her involvement with Maddie’s boyfriend, countering the behavior of her sister Maude and highlighting the varying challenges Suze faces as a mother.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The term 'cool moms' typically describes mothers who are seen as approachable, understanding, and friendly to their children and their friends. These moms often aim to create a comfortable and open environment for communication with their kids, fostering trust and honesty. Unlike the stereotypical 'strict' or 'authoritarian' parent, cool moms are more relaxed and supportive, balancing warmth with guidance. They prioritize building strong relationships with their children while still maintaining boundaries and offering guidance when needed.
  • The contrasting behaviors of Suze's daughters, Maude and Cassie, highlight the different challenges Suze faces as a mother. Maude represents a well-behaved daughter who follows rules, while Cassie embodies a rebellious spirit and engages in risky behavior. This dichotomy showcases the complexity of parenting multiple children with distinct personalities and needs. Suze must navigate between nurturing Maude's compliance and managing Cassie's defiance, illustrating the diverse approaches required in raising children with varying temperaments.

Counterarguments

  • Suze's protective instinct and need for control could potentially stifle her children's independence and ability to learn from their own mistakes.
  • The dual purpose of befriending youth to monitor them might be seen as a breach of trust or privacy, leading to potential resentment from the children.
  • While open communication is beneficial, there is a risk that 'cool moms' might overstep boundaries and fail to provide the necessary structure and discipline.
  • Suze's sensitive communication with Cassie could be interpreted as enabling or not adequately addressing the seriousness of Cassie's actions.
  • The contrasting sibling dynamic between Maude and Cassie could be a result of different parenting approaches or inherent personality traits, rather than a reflection of Suze's parenting style.
  • The portrayal of Maude as well-behaved and Cassie as rebellious could reinforce stereotypes about 'good' and 'bad' children, oversimplifying complex behavioral motivations.

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Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

Larger Context of Suze Howard Character

Alanna Ubach's portrayal of Suze Howard extends beyond the on-screen presence, drawing from real-life experiences and challenging established tropes.

Based on Real "Cool Mom" from Actor Alanna Ubach's Past

Suze Howard is inspired by Linda Morales, a 'cool mom' from Alanna Ubach's youth. Linda Morales created a welcoming and safe environment in her home, especially to shield her son, Jesse Morales, who was effeminate and was confronting machismo in their small town.

Importance of Protecting Vulnerable Kids

The character of Suze Howard is crafted with a protective instinct, primarily to ensure the safety and well-being of her child and his friends. This protective measure is an important aspect of her character, differentiating her from the more stereotypical 'cool moms' who seek their children's approval and friendship.

Difference from Mean Girls "Cool Mom" Trope

Suze Howa ...

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Larger Context of Suze Howard Character

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • In the comparison between Suze Howard and Mrs. George from "Mean Girls," Suze Howard is depicted as prioritizing the safety and well-being of her child and his friends, showing a protective instinct. In contrast, Mrs. George is portrayed as more concerned with seeking approval and admiration from her daughter's friends, displaying a different motivation for her actions. Suze Howard's focus is on maintaining control to ensure the kids' protection, while Mrs. George's actions are driven by a desire to be liked and considered cool.
  • The "cool mom" archetype typically portrays a mother who seeks to be seen as trendy, popular, or well-liked by her child's peers. This characte ...

Counterarguments

...

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Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

Suze's Complex Motivations

Suze Howard, a character based on real-life inspiration Linda Morales, showcases complex motivations ranging from compassion to the need for control within her community.

Wants to Help Kids in Trouble

Story of Sydney's Pregnancy Shows Caring Side

At the heart of Suze Howard's actions lies a genuine desire to help children in need—a trait inspired by Linda Morales. This was particularly evident in the way she stepped up to assist a young girl named Sydney who found herself pregnant and in need of support.

Desire to Know Everything Kids are Doing

Stay in Control

In another face ...

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Suze's Complex Motivations

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Suze Howard is a character inspired by Linda Morales, a real-life individual. The traits and motivations of Suze Howard are based on aspects of Linda Morales' personality and actions. This connection serves as the fou ...

Counterarguments

  • The portrayal of Suze Howard's motivations might oversimplify the complexity of human behavior, as real-life inspirations like Linda Morales likely have more nuanced reasons for their actions.
  • The desire to help children, as shown in the story of Sydney's pregnancy, could be interpreted as paternalistic or overstepping boundaries, depending on the context and the way the help is offered.
  • Suze Howard's need to know everything the kids are doing could be seen as invasive and lacking trust in the children's ability to manage their own lives, which might not foster independence or critical thinking.
  • The character's actions might not necessarily reflect a genuine desire to help but could be driven by other, less altruist ...

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Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

Communication Between Cool Moms and Kids

More Open Communication Overall

Mitchell comments on how the open lines of communication between 'cool moms' and their children can have positive effects on their relationships. Such transparency allows for a less judgmental space where kids feel comfortable sharing their lives with their mothers.

Honesty Goes Both Ways

Example of Cassie/Maddie Boyfriend Situation

Mitchell particularly appreciates the level of honesty Suze has with her daughters, which is depicted in a scene where Suze must address a delicate situation between her daughter Cassie and Maddie ...

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Communication Between Cool Moms and Kids

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • 'Cool moms' are typically mothers who are seen as approachable, understanding, and non-judgmental by their children. They often prioritize open communication, empathy, and a supportive attitude towards their kids' experiences and feelings. These moms are usually seen as more like friends to their children while still maintaining a parental role ...

Counterarguments

  • Open communication can sometimes lead to oversharing or inappropriate boundary crossing between parents and children.
  • Labeling parents as 'cool' for their openness may inadvertently create pressure on other parents to conform to a specific style of parenting that may not suit their values or cultural norms.
  • Non-judgmental spaces are ideal but can be difficult to achieve; parents may still have biases and judgments that influence their reactions and the advice they give.
  • Honesty is important, but the way it is delivered matters; being too blunt or harsh can harm the parent-child relationship.
  • The Cassie/Maddie boyfriend situation highlights honesty, but it also raises questions abou ...

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Alanna Ubach on “Cool Moms,” from Pop Culture Moms

Contrast Between Suze's Daughters

Suze's daughters, Maude and Cassie, depict a classic contrast in sibling dynamics, according to what Ubach describes.

Maude More Well-Behaved

Maude is characterized as the more well-behaved sibling. Ubach describes her as good and non-manipulative, suggesting she adheres to the rules and expectations set for her.

Cassie More Rebellious

In stark contrast to her sister, Cassie's actions paint her as the more rebellious child ...

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Contrast Between Suze's Daughters

Additional Materials

Clarifications

...

Counterarguments

  • Maude's well-behaved nature might be a result of external pressures or a desire to meet certain expectations, rather than an innate disposition.
  • Cassie's rebellious actions could be a response to feeling overshadowed by her sister or a way to assert her individuality in a family dynamic that favors compliance.
  • Labeling Maude as non-manipulative could overlook subtler forms of manipulation that are not as easily recognized or are socially accepted.
  • Cassie's defiance might stem from a place of seeking autonomy or challenging what she perceives as unfair rules, rather than simply being rebellious for the sake of it.
  • The contrast between Maude and Cassie could be exaggerated or oversimplified, as real-life personalities are often more complex than binary categorizatio ...

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