'The Ten Year Affair,' 'Sex of the Midwest' look at the role of sex in domestic life
NPR's Book of the Day examines two works that explore modern domestic life and relationships in America. Through "The Ten Year Affair," the discussion delves into how financial instability affects middle-class relationships and intimacy, while "Sex of the Midwest" presents a portrait of diverse sexual and romantic experiences in small-town America.
The conversation touches on how the traditional American Dream has become increasingly difficult to achieve, impacting both financial and personal relationships. The discussion also explores how the COVID-19 pandemic has influenced people's life choices and perspectives on mortality, leading to significant personal transformations and geographic relocations for many individuals.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Nov 21, 2025 episode of the NPR's Book of the Day
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1-Page Summary
Changing American Dream: Impacts on Relationships and Sex Lives
The traditional American Dream is becoming increasingly unattainable, affecting both financial aspirations and intimate relationships of today's middle class. Through "The Tenure Affair," we see how the protagonist Cora's experience reflects a broader trend: despite achieving relative financial stability, many middle-class individuals feel guilty about their modest achievements and tend to downplay their success. This financial precarity often manifests in relationship dissatisfaction, as illustrated by Cora's fantasy of having an affair, highlighting the gap between modern reality and post-World War II markers of success.
Sexual and Romantic Diversity in Small-Town America
Robyn Royle's "Sex of the Midwest" challenges stereotypes about small-town America by presenting diverse sexual and romantic experiences through over sixty-five characters in a Midwestern town. The collection reveals how small towns maintain vibrant communities, exemplified by a local bartender named Rachel who serves as a confidante to patrons' personal stories. The presence of drag events, including brunches and bingo nights, further demonstrates the unexpected cultural diversity in rural areas.
Role of Covid-19 in Reshaping Perspectives and Experiences
The pandemic has profoundly impacted characters' relationships with mortality and life choices. Don Blankman, a retired coach, responds to his COVID-19 experience and subsequent need for a lung transplant by running for school board. The pandemic has also catalyzed major life transitions, as seen through Rachel's transformation into a writer and others' geographic relocations. Despite hopes for positive change post-pandemic, characters grapple with the reality that surviving the health crisis hasn't automatically led to the better world they anticipated.
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Counterarguments
- The concept of the American Dream is subjective and can vary greatly among individuals; some may still find it attainable and meaningful in its traditional sense.
- Feelings of guilt over financial success may not be universal; some middle-class individuals may feel proud and satisfied with their achievements regardless of societal expectations.
- Relationship dissatisfaction can stem from a multitude of factors beyond financial precarity, such as communication issues, compatibility problems, or personal growth trajectories.
- While small-town America may indeed host a variety of sexual and romantic experiences, the extent of this diversity can vary significantly from one town to another.
- The role of a local bartender or any individual as a confidante might not be as central in some communities, where privacy is more valued or other forms of social support are prevalent.
- Cultural events like drag shows may not be indicative of widespread acceptance or diversity in all rural areas; in some cases, they might represent isolated pockets of culture within a largely homogeneous community.
- The motivations for individuals to engage in community or political roles post-COVID-19 can be multifaceted and not solely driven by personal health crises.
- Major life transitions such as career changes or relocations during the pandemic could be influenced by a range of factors, including economic necessity or remote work opportunities, rather than purely the pandemic experience.
- The expectation of a better world post-pandemic may not be a universal sentiment; some may have anticipated a return to normalcy rather than significant positive change.
Actionables
- You can reassess your definition of success by creating a "Success on My Terms" journal where you reflect on what achievements mean to you, outside of societal expectations. Start by listing personal milestones that have brought you joy or pride, regardless of their financial or status implications. This could include learning a new skill, nurturing a relationship, or contributing to your community. By focusing on these, you can cultivate a sense of accomplishment that isn't tied to the traditional American Dream.
- Build stronger community ties by initiating a "Skill-Share Saturday" in your neighborhood. Gather a group of neighbors willing to teach and learn various skills from each other, ranging from gardening to basic home repairs. This not only fosters personal connections but also helps to create a support network that can alleviate some of the financial pressures by sharing resources and knowledge.
- Encourage open conversations about life changes by hosting a "Pandemic Reflections" potluck with friends or family. Each person can bring a dish and share a story about how the pandemic has impacted their life choices or perspectives. This shared experience can help normalize the wide range of transitions people have undergone, reducing feelings of isolation and fostering a sense of community resilience.
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Changing American Dream: Impacts on Relationships and Sex Lives
The American Dream is undergoing a significant transformation, affecting not only the aspirations and financial realities of today's middle class but also their relationships and sex lives.
Suburban Dream Unattainable for Today's Middle Class
Cora, the Protagonist in "The Tenure Affair," Imagined a More Glamorous Life Than Suburban Domesticity
The pursuit of the suburban dream, once a hallmark of middle-class success, is now out of reach for many. In the novel "The Tenure Affair," the protagonist Cora imagined a life of glamour, but she finds herself entrenched in the reality of suburban domesticity. This reflects a broader sentiment among today's middle-class individuals who are increasingly finding the suburban dream unattainable.
Middle-Class Financial Precarity and Guilt
Characters Downplay Modest Homes and Financial Stability, Feeling They've Missed the Middle-Class Dream
Cora and her husband Elliott, while not rich, have achieved financial stability sufficient to purchase a home. Despite this, they carry a sense of guilt about their ability to afford it. When they have visitors, they feel compelled to apologize for their house, pointing out its flaws as a form of class solidarity. Somers touches on a cultural milieu where downwardly mobile, over-educated millennials cling to the bottom rung of the middle class and share feelings of guilt and precarity. This suggests a collective sentiment of missing out on the middle-class dream, leading to downplaying their achievements and financial stability.
Suburban Disappointment: Infidelity and Fantasy Response
Cora's Affair Fantasies Reveal Her Marital Dissatisfaction
Cora's ...
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Changing American Dream: Impacts on Relationships and Sex Lives
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Counterarguments
- The American Dream is not a monolithic concept and can vary greatly depending on individual values and goals; not everyone aspires to suburban domesticity.
- The suburban dream may still be attainable for some middle-class individuals, depending on various factors such as location, career choices, and personal financial management.
- The portrayal of Cora in "The Tenure Affair" might not represent the experiences of all middle-class individuals, and some may find fulfillment in suburban life.
- Financial stability and home ownership are still significant achievements that many people aspire to, and not all middle-class individuals feel guilt or the need to downplay their success.
- Apologizing for modest homes is not a universal behavior among the middle class, and some may take pride in their homes regardless of size or luxury.
- The feelings of financial precarity and guilt among over-educated, downwardly mobile millennials are not universal and may not reflect the experiences of all individuals in this demographic.
- Fantasies of infidelity can occur in any socioeconomic class and may not be directly tied to suburban monotony or marital dissatisfaction.
- The contrast between Cora's real life and her imagined affa ...
Actionables
- Reflect on your personal definition of success by journaling your aspirations and how they align with or differ from traditional middle-class markers. This self-reflection can help you understand your unique values and goals, rather than feeling pressured by societal standards. For example, if owning a home doesn't resonate with you, explore what achievements would genuinely make you feel successful and content.
- Create a "reality vs. expectations" budget plan to manage feelings of financial precarity. Start by listing your actual income and expenses, then compare it to the lifestyle you once imagined as indicative of success. This can help you set realistic financial goals and appreciate your current achievements without guilt. For instance, if you once dreamed of owning a luxury car, compare the costs and benefits with your current transportation to see if the dream aligns with your real-life priorities.
- Initiate open conversations with f ...
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Sexual and Romantic Diversity in Small-Town America
Despite common misconceptions, small towns in America offer a tapestry of vibrant and varied sexual and romantic experiences, often hidden beneath the surface. Two unique perspectives — that of an author and a bartender — provide insights into this overlooked diversity.
Small Towns Aren't as Dull or Uniform as Stereotypes Suggest
"Sex of the Midwest" Portrays Unique, Vibrant Sex and Romance in a Midwestern Town
Robyn Royle's short story collection, "Sex of the Midwest," delves into the intimate and intricate sex lives of small-town residents, defying the banal and uniform depictions often seen in popular media. Royle's book features more than a dozen stories set in a Midwestern town and brings to life the experiences of over sixty-five characters, each contributing to the narrative that rural America has a rich and complex sexual and romantic culture.
Bartender Rachel's Role as Confidante to Patrons
Rachel's Bartending Job Lets Her Hear Townspeople's Stories, Which She Can Engage With or Ignore
Rachel the bartender enjoys a unique position within her small community: she is often privy to the personal stories of the townspeople who frequent her bar. As a confidante and observer, she listens to tales that can be engaging or tiresome; fortunately, her role allows her the flexibility to become involved with these narratives or to discreetly step away when needed, by attending to other tasks such as serving drinks or assisting other patrons.
Drag Cul ...
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Sexual and Romantic Diversity in Small-Town America
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Counterarguments
- While Robyn Royle's "Sex of the Midwest" may offer a rich portrayal of sexual and romantic diversity, it is a work of fiction and may not accurately represent the experiences of all individuals in small Midwestern towns.
- The unique role of bartenders like Rachel as confidantes may not be universal; in some small towns, bartenders might not have the same level of engagement with their patrons due to cultural norms or personal choice.
- The presence of drag culture in one small Midwestern town does not necessarily indicate a widespread trend across all rural areas; there may still be many small towns where such events are not present or where sexual and romantic diversity is less visible or accepted.
- The idea that small towns are becoming more inclusive and recognizing sexual and romantic diversity might be overly optimistic, as acceptance can ...
Actionables
- You can explore the hidden diversity of your own small town by becoming a regular at local events that are outside your usual routine. By attending different community gatherings, such as book clubs, local theater productions, or town hall meetings, you'll likely encounter a wider range of perspectives and experiences that challenge the stereotype of small-town uniformity.
- Start a casual conversation with local service workers, like baristas or cashiers, to gain insights into the community's social dynamics. These workers often interact with a large cross-section of the town's population and can offer anecdotes or observations that reveal the complexity of relationships and social life in your area.
- Encourage local businesses to host inclusiv ...
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Role of Covid-19 in Reshaping Perspectives and Experiences
The Covid-19 pandemic has significantly impacted characters in literature, reshaping their experiences and altering their perceptions, especially regarding mortality, life choices, and expectations of a post-pandemic world.
The Pandemic's Impact on Characters' Confrontation With Mortality
Don Blankman's Pandemic-Fueled Fear of Death Intensifies, Prompting Drastic Reactions
The pandemic forces characters like Don Blankman, a retired coach, to confront their mortality in stark terms. After recovering from COVID-19 and awaiting a lung transplant, Don's fear of death intensifies, leading him to take drastic actions such as running for the school board. This step is his method of engaging actively with community issues as he grapples with his vulnerability.
Pandemic as Catalyst For Transitions
Post-Pandemic: Reevaluating Living Choices
The pandemic acts as a catalyst for transitions, prompting characters to reevaluate their living choices. Rachel, the bartender, and a young person moving from San Francisco to Lanier embody these shifts. The reevaluation encompasses geographic locations and deep personal reflections on the meaning of their lives.
Moreover, Rachel manifests her need to comprehend her pandemic experiences by becoming a writer, suggesting a transformation of identity and purpose.
The Unfulfilled Promise of a "Better" Post-Pandemic World
...
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Role of Covid-19 in Reshaping Perspectives and Experiences
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Counterarguments
- The impact of the pandemic on characters in literature might not always lead to drastic actions or intense confrontations with mortality; some characters may experience subtle changes or even positive growth.
- The idea that the pandemic acts as a catalyst for reevaluating life choices could be overly deterministic; individuals may change their lives for a variety of reasons, and the pandemic might not be the sole or even primary factor.
- The transformation of a character like Rachel into a writer might not be a direct result of the pandemic but could be influenced by pre-existing aspirations or other life events.
- The notion that the pandemic did not bring about a better world could be challenged by pointing out that some individuals or societies may have experienced positive changes, such as increased resilience, community solidarity, or technological advan ...
Actionables
- You can start a personal journal to document your experiences and emotions during the pandemic, using it as a tool for self-reflection and growth. By writing down your thoughts, you may discover new insights about your priorities and what changes you want to make in your life. For example, if you've realized the importance of community during this time, you might decide to volunteer locally or advocate for issues you care about.
- Create a "Life Audit" checklist to evaluate your current living situation and consider if a change in environment could benefit your well-being. This checklist could include factors like cost of living, proximity to loved ones, and access to outdoor spaces. If you find that your current city doesn't align with your post-pandemic values, you might research and plan a move to a place that better suits your new outlook on life.
- Engage in a creative project, lik ...
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