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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

By NPR (podcasts@npr.org)

From growing up in an environment that strictly condemned gossip to recognizing its nuanced roles in modern society, author Kelsey McKinney shares her evolving perspectives on the multifaceted nature of gossip. In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day podcast, she dissects gossip's potential for harm through misinformation, yet also explores its protective functions in marginalized communities, such as the Me Too movement's "whisper networks."

McKinney dives into the psychology behind gossip surrounding reality TV, offering insights into how detached gossip about fictional characters can foster social bonding. She navigates the complex duality of gossip, likening its trajectory to conspiracy theories while acknowledging its role in informal warning systems, challenging listeners to reevaluate their views on this ubiquitous social phenomenon.

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

1-Page Summary

Mckinney's Evolving Views on Gossip

Growing up in the evangelical church, Kelsey McKinney viewed gossip as strictly forbidden and a sinful act, as taught by church leaders. As she entered high school, McKinney began questioning these rigid teachings, recognizing nuances and complexities beyond the purely negative portrayal of gossip.

Gossip's Functions in Society

While McKinney acknowledges gossip's potential for spreading misinformation and causing harm, she views it as serving protective functions for marginalized groups. During the Me Too movement, whisper networks enabled women to share warnings about threatening individuals, fostering a sense of security. However, McKinney draws a clear line between gossip and defamatory acts like libel or slander involving knowingly false and malicious information.

Gossip and Reality TV

McKinney offers insights into the psychological benefits of discussing reality TV shows. As viewers are detached from the shows' participants, gossiping about their behavior carries no personal stakes, allowing for judgment without real-world consequences. Surprisingly, gossip about fictional characters can trigger the same calming mechanisms and social bonding as gossip about acquaintances.

Gossip's Dual Nature

McKinney likens gossip's trajectory to a conspiracy theory, where a hint of truth can become distorted through repeated telling, potentially fueling misinformation. Simultaneously, gossip serves as a protective tool, especially for marginalized groups, by identifying potential threats and fostering solidarity through informal warning systems.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • A whisper network is an informal means of sharing information privately, often used to warn others about potential threats or dangers within a community. It is commonly utilized to spread awareness about individuals who may pose risks, especially in cases of harassment or abuse. Whisper networks can provide a sense of security and support for marginalized groups by facilitating the sharing of crucial information. These networks can help individuals navigate challenging situations and make informed decisions to protect themselves and others.
  • The Me Too movement is a social campaign against sexual abuse and harassment, where individuals, primarily women, share their experiences to raise awareness and show the prevalence of such misconduct. It gained significant momentum in 2017 following allegations against Harvey Weinstein, with the hashtag #MeToo being used to amplify voices and highlight the widespread nature of the issue. The movement aims to empower survivors, promote solidarity, and bring attention to the pervasive culture of sexual misconduct in various spheres of society. Me Too has sparked discussions, led to accountability for perpetrators, and prompted changes in how society addresses and prevents sexual abuse.
  • Libel and slander are forms of defamation where false information is communicated to harm someone's reputation. Libel is written or published defamation, while slander is spoken defamation. Both can result in legal action if the false statements cause damage to the individual's reputation. It's important to distinguish between gossip, which can be harmless or even beneficial, and defamatory statements that can lead to legal consequences.

Counterarguments

  • Gossip, even when not defamatory, can still perpetuate stereotypes and reinforce power imbalances.
  • The protective function of gossip can be undermined if it leads to the exclusion of individuals based on unverified information.
  • The psychological benefits of gossiping about reality TV might contribute to a culture of voyeurism and schadenfreude.
  • Gossip's role in fostering social bonds might be less significant compared to other forms of communication that encourage empathy and understanding.
  • The comparison of gossip to conspiracy theories might overstate the potential for distortion, as gossip does not always involve a deliberate intent to deceive.
  • The idea that gossip serves as a protective tool could be challenged by the argument that formal reporting mechanisms and institutional reforms are more effective in protecting marginalized groups.
  • The notion that gossip about fictional characters is calming and bonding might not account for the potential for such discussions to become contentious or for individuals to internalize negative behaviors from fictional narratives.

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

Personal and Cultural Views on Gossip: Mckinney's Upbringing

Kelsey McKinney reflects on how her background in the evangelical church shaped her perceptions of gossip, and how these views evolved over time.

Mckinney Grew Up In the Evangelical Church, Viewing Gossip As a Sin

McKinney was raised in a community that considered gossip strictly forbidden and a sin against God. She was surrounded by church teachings that emphasized the negative aspects of gossip, indicating a strong cultural disapproval within her religious upbringing. McKinney was told by church leaders that gossip was her personal "thorn," a specific failing she would have to overcome.

Gossip Leads Mckinney to Question Church Teachings

As McKinney entered high school, she began to chafe against the church’s inflexible stance on gossip. She found herself questioning the teachings that labeled gossip as universally detrimental. This introspection led her to explore a more nuanced understanding of the role of gossip in personal and social contexts.

Broader Definition of Gossip by Mckinney

As a result of her experiences, McKinney formulated a broader definition of gossip, which allowed her to perceive its complexity and the ...

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Personal and Cultural Views on Gossip: Mckinney's Upbringing

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Actionables

  • Start a personal gossip journal to explore your own perceptions and uses of gossip. Write down instances when you engage in or hear gossip, noting the context, your feelings, and the outcomes. This self-reflection can help you understand the role gossip plays in your life and whether it aligns with your values.
  • Create a "Gossip Impact Scale" to gauge the potential effects of shared information. Before sharing something that could be considered gossip, rate it on a scale from harmful to beneficial, considering how it might affect the people involved. Use this scale to make more conscious decisions about what you communi ...

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

Functions of Gossip in Society

Gossip, often dismissed as frivolous or malicious chitchat, plays a complex role in social dynamics and can have both protective and destructive functions within society.

Gossip Protects Marginalized Groups By Warning Of Threats

Kelsey McKinney views gossip, particularly whisper networks, as a safeguard that serves a protective function, which was especially apparent during the Me Too movement. During this movement, whisper networks among women were crucial in sharing warnings about individuals who posed potential threats. These informal channels enabled women to protect themselves and others within professional and social circles by exchanging information that might not have been publicly disclosed otherwise.

Gossip Can Spread Misinformation and Cause Harm

While acknowledging gossip's role in protecting vulnerable groups, McKinney is also aware of its darker side: the potential to spread misinformation. However, she does not elaborate on how to discern gossip from more insidious forms of communication like libel, slander, and defamation in this particular conversation.

Mckinney Distinguishes Gossip From Libel, Slander, and Defamation

McKinney clarifies ...

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Functions of Gossip in Society

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • A whisper network is an informal means of sharing information privately, often among marginalized groups like women, to warn about potential threats or abusers within a community. It typically involves passing along gossip or sensitive details through word of mouth or private online channels. Whisper networks can serve as a protective mechanism for individuals to safeguard themselves and others by exchanging information that may not be publicly disclosed. These networks gained prominence during movements like #MeToo for their role in sharing warnings and empowering victims to come forward collectively.
  • The Me Too movement is a social campaign that aims to raise awareness about sexual abuse and harassment, encouraging individuals to share their experiences to show the prevalence of such issues. It gained significant momentum in 2017 following allegations against Harvey Weinstein, with many using the hashtag #MeToo to share their stories on social media. The movement seeks to empower survivors through solidarity and highlight the widespread nature of sexual misconduct, particularly in professional settings. Me Too has sparked discussions on sexual harassment across various industries and has led to increased accountability for perpetrators.
  • Libel is a legal term that involves making false statements about someone in writing, such as in a newspaper or online, that harm the person's reputation. It is a form of defamation that can lead to a civil lawsuit if the statements are proven to be false and damaging. In essence, libel is the act of publishing false information that can harm someone's reputation. It is a serious offense that can have legal consequences.
  • Slander is a legal term that involves ...

Counterarguments

  • Gossip, even with protective intentions, can inadvertently perpetuate stereotypes or reinforce power imbalances by targeting certain individuals or groups.
  • Whisper networks, while protective, can also be exclusive and may not protect those who are not part of the inner circle, potentially leading to unequal access to important information.
  • The distinction between gossip and harmful falsehoods can be subjective and context-dependent, making it difficult to clearly delineate when gossip crosses the line into libel, slander, or defamation.
  • The emphasis on responsible and ethical communication may overlook the complexity of human interactions and the fact that people may not always have complete information when sharing concerns with others.
  • The protective function of gossip may sometim ...

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

Gossip and Media, Like Reality TV

McKinney offers insights into the psychological effects of watching and discussing reality TV, emphasizing the inherent detachment and the calming social benefits it can provide to viewers.

Reality Tv Offers Gossip Sans Personal Stakes or Consequences

Reality Tv Discussions Don't Impact Viewers' Lives

McKinney comments on how reality TV allows viewers to engage in discussions about behaviors and actions observed on the shows without facing personal repercussions. The cardinal reason is that viewers are not directly connected to the people they watch on the show. Therefore, any judgments or criticisms they express have no tangible impact on their own lives.

Gossiping About Reality Tv Strangers Can Calm and Connect Us

Gossiping About Fictional Characters Triggers the Same Psychological Mechanisms as Gossip About Real People

Further cementing this connection, McKinney highlights that gossiping can actually lower heart rate and ind ...

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Gossip and Media, Like Reality TV

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Clarifications

  • Gossiping about reality TV can induce calmness and social benefits because it allows individuals to engage in discussions without personal stakes, leading to a sense of detachment. This detachment from the characters or participants being gossiped about can create a safe space for expressing opinions and judgments. When done within a trusted relationship, gossiping about reality TV can trigger psy ...

Counterarguments

  • Reality TV may promote unhealthy social behaviors by normalizing drama and conflict.
  • Engaging in gossip, even about fictional characters, could reinforce negative communication habits.
  • The detachment from reality TV might lead to a disconnection from real-life issues and relationships.
  • The calmness induced by gossiping about reality TV might be temporary and superficial compared to more meaningful stress-relief activities.
  • Reality TV discussions could potentially impact viewers' lives by influencing their perceptions and expectations of real-life relationships.
  • Social learning ...

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'You Didn't Hear This From Me' is Kelsey McKinney's gossip bible

Gossip's Nuances: Spreading Misinformation and Protecting the Vulnerable

McKinney delves into the complexity of gossip, examining its dual role in both spreading misinformation and serving as a protective measure for marginalized groups.

Gossip Can Inform and Misinform

Gossip, much like a conspiracy theory, can contain a hint of truth but often becomes distorted through repeated telling.

Gossip-Fueled Conspiracy Theories Become Distorted

McKinney compares a conspiracy theory to gossip that has "flown too close to the sun and been burnt to a crisp." She discusses the role of gossip in the spreading of conspiracy theories, highlighting the fine line between entertainment and a story which may carry a nefarious intent and cause harm. This intent might involve convincing people that someone is against them or is hiding something important.

Gossip as a Protective Tool for Marginalized Groups

While the provided content does not mention whisper networks directly, McKinney points to the function of gossip as a mechanism to caution others.

Whisper Networks and Gossip Help Identify and Avoid Threats

Gossip operates on various ...

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Gossip's Nuances: Spreading Misinformation and Protecting the Vulnerable

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Gossip and conspiracy theories share similarities in how they can both contain elements of truth but often get distorted through retelling. While gossip typically circulates within smaller social circles, conspiracy theories can spread widely and have more serious implications. Both gossip and conspiracy theories can influence perceptions and behaviors, sometimes blurring the line between harmless chatter and harmful misinformation. Understanding the nuances between the two can help differentiate between casual talk and potentially damaging narratives.
  • Whisper networks are informal channels of communication used primarily by marginalized groups to share information about potential threats, such as abusive individuals or unsafe environments. These networks often operate discreetly to protect vulnerable members and provide a way to warn others about specific risks or individuals to avoid. Whisper networks can offer a sense of solidarity and support within communities that may lack traditional avenues for seeking protection or justice. By sharing information through these networks, individuals can help each other navigate challenging situations and mitigate potential harm.
  • Gossip functions as a prot ...

Counterarguments

  • Gossip can lead to the unfair character assassination of individuals who may be innocent, as it often lacks verification.
  • Relying on gossip for information can perpetuate stereotypes and reinforce biases against certain groups or individuals.
  • Whisper networks, while protective, can sometimes exclude individuals who are not part of certain social circles, potentially leaving them vulnerable.
  • The use of gossip as a protective tool can sometimes create an environment of fear and mistrust, which can be counterproductive to community building.
  • Gossip can undermine formal reporting mechanisms for misconduct, leading to a lack of accountability and resolution through appropriate channels.
  • The solidarity fostered by gossip among marginalized communities might ...

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