Podcasts > NPR's Book of the Day > New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

By NPR (podcasts@npr.org)

In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day, the summaries of novels by Anita Desai and Emma Knight explore the duality of motherhood and how mothers often suppress aspects of their identities for the sake of their families. The podcast examines Desai's portrayal of a daughter discovering her mother's secret artistic life and grappling with whether she truly knew her mother at all.

Additionally, it considers Knight's depiction of the tension mothers face between the societal ideal of being a self-sacrificing parent and maintaining their own individuality and personal ambitions. Knight argues that pursuing outside interests and leading an authentic life can ultimately benefit both mothers and their children.

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New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Jan 24, 2025 episode of the NPR's Book of the Day

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New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

1-Page Summary

Mothers' Dual Lives, Hidden Identity From Children

Novelist Anita Desai highlights how mothers often balance dual identities - their personal desires versus family obligations. As Desai explains, a mother's individual aspirations can be suppressed, leading to a secret past unknown even to her own children.

Secrets and Mysteries In Uncovering One's True Parents

In Desai's novel, Bonita discovers hints of her mother's hidden creative life through an old painting and an encounter with a stranger in Mexico claiming to know her mother Rosarita's artistic past. The novel plays with ambiguity around whether this stranger is truthful or "a trickster," highlighting themes of reinvention and fully understanding one's parents.

The Tension Between Motherhood and Individuality/Ambition

Desai's work explores the challenge mothers face balancing parenthood with personal identity and ambitions. As Emma Knight depicts through an octopus metaphor, the self-sacrificing "perfect mother" ideal suppresses a woman's own needs and goals.

However, Knight suggests children benefit when mothers maintain their authentic selves and pursue outside interests. She posits that being overwhelmed solely by the parent role is unhealthy, arguing mothers should exemplify living a truthful, fulfilling life beyond just motherhood.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While mothers may have dual identities, it's not always due to suppression of desires; some may willingly prioritize family over personal ambitions.
  • The notion of a "secret past" could be nuanced, as parents may choose not to share certain aspects of their past for various reasons, not necessarily due to a hidden identity.
  • The idea that children benefit from mothers maintaining their authentic selves is valid, but it's also important to recognize that each family dynamic is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
  • The concept of the self-sacrificing "perfect mother" is a stereotype that may not hold true for all mothers, and some may find fulfillment in prioritizing their family's needs.
  • The argument that being overwhelmed by the parent role is unhealthy could be seen as oversimplified, as some parents may find deep satisfaction and identity in their role as caregivers.
  • The suggestion that mothers should live a fulfilling life beyond motherhood might not resonate with everyone, as some may find their greatest fulfillment within the role of motherhood itself.

Actionables

  • Create a "Me Time" jar where you write down activities you love or want to try, and commit to drawing one slip weekly to ensure you're dedicating time to your personal interests. This can help mothers maintain their individuality and prevent the overwhelm of being solely defined by parenthood. For example, slips could include reading a chapter of a book, taking a dance class, or starting a small garden project.
  • Start a family storytelling night where each member, including the mother, shares stories from their past or dreams for the future. This encourages openness and can reveal aspects of a mother's identity that children might not be aware of. It can be as simple as sharing anecdotes over dinner or setting aside a special evening with themed questions to guide the conversation.
  • Encourage mothers in your community to showcase their talents or past experiences through a local exhibit or online platform. This could be a rotating art display at a community center or a digital collection of stories and achievements. It's a way to celebrate the multifaceted lives of mothers and inspire others to pursue their aspirations alongside motherhood.

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New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

Mothers' Dual Lives, Hidden Identity From Children

Novelist Anita Desai highlights a potent and often hidden dynamic in the lives of many women – balancing the dueling aspects of personal identity and family obligations.

Mothers Balance Identities, Ambitions, and Family Demands

Bonita Discovers Her Mother’s Secret Life As an Artist and Traveler

In a testimony to the complexities of maternal identity, Bonita recalls a childhood sketch that adorned the wall above her bed, a piece of art that, at the time, seemed disconnected from her mother or herself. It is only on a journey in Mexico that she begins to unravel this mysterious separation, showcasing how mothers often lead bifurcated lives – one anchored in their individual desires and the other steeped in familial roles.

Anita Desai delves into this theme, pointing out that a mother’s own life is at times neither recognized nor permitted to flourish openly, which can drive these aspects of their identities underground. This suppression leads to invisible but profound lives that remain concealed from even those closest to them.

Mothers May Prioritize Children and Spouse Over Personal Interests and Aspirations

Mother's Identity Suppr ...

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Mothers' Dual Lives, Hidden Identity From Children

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While the text emphasizes the suppression of a mother's identity, it's important to recognize that some women may not feel suppressed but instead find fulfillment and a sense of identity within their roles as mothers and spouses.
  • The idea that mothers lead bifurcated lives could be challenged by the perspective that many individuals, regardless of gender or parental status, balance multiple roles and identities, and this is not unique to mothers.
  • The notion that mothers' lives are invisible or not allowed to flourish might be countered by acknowledging the societal changes and increasing support for work-life balance that enable many women to pursue both family life and personal ambitions more openly than in the past.
  • The text suggests that mothers often prioritize their children and spouse over personal interests, but there are cases where mothers successfully integrate their interests and careers with their family life, without necessarily prioritizing one over the other.
  • The concept of self-suppression leading to secrets and a hidden past could be seen as an overgeneralization, as not all mothers who prioritize family over personal aspirations ...

Actionables

  • You can start a personal "identity and aspirations" journal to explore and document your individual desires separate from your family roles. Write daily or weekly entries about your passions, dreams, and the aspects of your identity that you feel are suppressed or unexpressed. This practice can help you recognize and validate your personal aspirations, potentially leading to a more balanced life where your individual identity coexists with your family obligations.
  • Create a "secret life" time capsule with items that represent your hidden passions or unfulfilled dreams. This could include photographs, letters to yourself, sketches, or any other items that symbolize parts of your identity that you feel are not fully expressed. Choose a date in the future to open the capsule, which can serve as a reminder of your personal journey and a prompt to revisit and possibly integrate these aspects into your life more openly.
  • Organize a monthly "hidden talents" showcase with friends or ...

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New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

Secrets and Mysteries In Uncovering One's True Parents

The quest to understand one's parents fully unravels for Bonita as she encounters a stranger in Mexico who challenges her understanding of her mother and a painting reveals a hidden side of her life.

Bonita Questions Her Understanding of Her Mother After Meeting a Stranger Who Claims to Know Her In Mexico

While in Mexico, Bonita is approached by a stranger who recognizes her resemblance to Rosarita, her mother. This stranger shares stories of studying art and partying with Rosarita in Mexico years ago, narratives that starkly contradict Bonita's knowledge of her mother. The encounter leaves Bonita almost convinced of her mother's undisclosed past, despite never having seen any suggestion of it before.

The Novel Explores the "Trickster" Concept: Is the Stranger Truthful or Lying?

In the novel, Anita Desai plays with the concept of the "trickster," creating ambiguity around the stranger's claims. The character might be a fantasist or indeed someone who knows of Rosarita’s elusive past, bringing forth themes of ambiguity and the potential for self-reinvention, particularly within the context of travel.

Hidden Painting Discovery Reveals Bonita's Mother's Secret Creative Life

A painting hung above Bonita's bed serves as a narrative device, hinting at an artistic aspect of her mother tha ...

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Secrets and Mysteries In Uncovering One's True Parents

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Counterarguments

  • The stranger's stories may not necessarily be true; Bonita's conviction could be based on unreliable information.
  • The concept of the "trickster" could imply that the stranger's claims are a deliberate deception rather than a revelation of truth.
  • Bonita's belief in her mother's undisclosed past might reflect her own desires or insecurities rather than the reality of her mother's life.
  • The painting's discovery could be a coincidence and not necessarily indicative of a secret creative life.
  • Bonita's quest for truth might be influenced by her subjective interpretation of the painting and the stranger's stories.
  • The desire to fully understand one's parents could be an unrealistic expectation, as complete understanding of ...

Actionables

  • Start a personal history project by interviewing your family members to uncover stories you've never heard before. This can be as simple as setting up a video call or recording a conversation during a family gathering. Ask open-ended questions about their youth, their dreams, and experiences you know little about. You might discover aspects of their lives that reshape your understanding of them, much like Bonita did.
  • Create a visual family tree that includes not just names and dates but also personal anecdotes, photos, and mementos. Use an online tool or a large poster board to map out your family, and leave space next to each person for a story or fact that is not widely known. This can become a living document that grows as you learn more about your relatives.
  • Write a ...

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New novels from Emma Knight and Anita Desai explore the dual identities of mothers

The Tension Between Motherhood and Individuality/Ambition

Anita Desai’s and Emma Knight's novels delve deep into the complexity of the roles women play, particularly the strain between motherhood and maintaining one's own identity and ambitions.

Challenges Mothers Face: Balancing Identity, Aspirations, and Family Demands

Desai’s novel raises questions about women who prioritize their family's life over their own, hinting at the loss of potential dual lives that go unexplored. The narrative suggests that women often subordinate their own needs and desires to the lives of men, illuminating the struggle to balance motherhood with personal aspirations.

Octopus Metaphor As Self-Sacrificing "Perfect Mother" Ideal Suppressing Mother's Needs and Ambitions

Emma Knight uses the metaphor of an octopus in her debut novel to depict the tension between the roles of motherhood and individual ambition. The octopus becomes a symbol for the self-sacrificing "perfect mother," an ideal that expects mothers to abandon their separate lives and ambitions upon embracing parenthood.

Knight draws a parallel between an octopus which, when brooding over her eggs, stops eating and starts to waste away in dedication to her offspring, and the societal expectations placed on mothers to self-sacrifice. Knight asserts that what is considered noble in cephalopods should not be the standard for human mothers.

Mothers Should Be Authentic, Not Overwhelmed by Parenthood

Novel Suggests Children Benefit When Mothers Maintain Self-Identity and Pursue Personal Goals

The protagonist in Knight’s novel, Penn ...

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The Tension Between Motherhood and Individuality/Ambition

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Desai and Knight highlight the tension between motherhood and individuality, it's important to recognize that some women may find deep fulfillment in prioritizing their family life, and this choice can be as valid and empowering as pursuing personal ambitions.
  • The concept of self-sacrifice in motherhood can also be seen as a powerful expression of love and commitment, and not necessarily as a suppression of the mother's needs and ambitions.
  • The octopus metaphor might oversimplify the complex experiences of motherhood, as human relationships and societal structures are more nuanced than the biological instincts of an octopus.
  • The idea that children benefit from mothers who maintain a strong sense of self-identity and pursue personal goals does not account for the diverse family structures and cultural values that might prioritize different approaches to parenting.
  • The suggestion that mothers need to be authentic and pursue indivi ...

Actionables

  • Create a "My Ambitions" vision board to visually affirm your personal goals and aspirations. By selecting images and phrases that represent your dreams and placing them on a board in a space where you'll see them daily, you reinforce the importance of your individuality alongside your role as a mother. For example, if you aspire to write a book, include inspiring quotes from authors and images of books or writing spaces.
  • Schedule weekly "Me Time" sessions to focus on personal growth and interests. Dedicate a specific time each week to engage in an activity that fuels your sense of self, such as taking an online course, practicing a hobby, or simply reading a book that's not related to parenting. This consistent practice helps to maintain your identity beyond motherhood and can be as simple as an hour of uninterrupted painting or gardening.
  • Start a "Role Model Journal" where you document how your pursuit of personal goals positively imp ...

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