A parenting book by author Kelley Coleman focuses on the care of disabled children

Parenting a child with disabilities is a journey uniquely complex and laden with challenges that many may not fully understand. However, these difficulties do not make the child's life or the parenting experience inherently tragic.

Parenting a disabled child brings unique challenges and complexities, but "hard" does not equate to "bad"

Raising a child with a disability entails confronting societal ableism and misconceptions. Kelley Coleman emphasizes that her child's disability is not tragic—it is simply a facet of who he is. The challenging part, Coleman notes, is securing the necessary supports for her child to flourish. She also urges that parents need to become comfortable with disability, suggesting that it is not something to be feared but accepted as part of life’s diversity.

Although raising a child with a disability can be objectively difficult, the disability itself is not a tragedy - it is simply an aspect of the child's identity

Coleman stresses that while the act of raising a disabled child brings numerous difficulties, these should not be viewed as tragedies. It is the external struggles—such as obtaining required resources—that present true challenges, not the child's identity itself.

Parents of disabled children must contend with societal ableism and misconceptions that view their child's disability as inherently negative or "heroic"

Parents often face societal pressures and expectations about how their child should function. Coleman reflects on this, sharing her realization that societal norms, such as the expectation for a child to color within the lines, are not as crucial as once thought. She likens this to her son's use of a feeding tube and the unimportance of eating in conventional ways compared to the value of recognizing and cherishing his humanity.

Despite the challenges, there are also meaningful joyful moments in parenting a disabled child

Coleman shares that parenting her disabled child is not devoid of joy—the highs are just as profound as the lows. From managing a medical crisis to witnessing a child's unexpected achievements, the emotional spectrum is broad and dee ...

Kelley Coleman discusses the pervasiveness of ableism—the discrimination in favor of able-bodied individuals—and the need for parents, including those with disabilities themselves, to actively work against it. This work is essential in order to help reframe society's understanding of disability and foster environments where disabled children are empowered and celebrated for their humanity.

Parents must actively work to confront their own internalized ableism and societal biases against disability

Ableism can deeply influence parents, often without their conscious awareness, shaping the way they respond to their children's disabilities. These biases manifest not only on a societal level but internally, and they hold the dangerous potential to color a parent's perception of their child's capabilities and worth. Kelley Coleman admits that all parents face the challenge of confronting these internalized and societal biases, indicating these issues do not spare even parents who themselves are disabled.

Coleman underscores the crucial role of seeking out and valuing the voices and perspectives of disabled individuals. She stresses that in order to counteract the myriad of myths surrounding disability, it's important to approach disability as a natural facet of human diversity. This proactive step helps dismantle the idea that disability is inherently negative or a deviation from the norm.

Adopting a strengths-based, affirming approach to disability is key for empowering disabled children and celebrating their full humanity

Coleman discusses society's narrow vision of success and worth, such as the emphasis on being able to color within the lines. These unspoken norms can limit the perception of a disabled child’s worth and capabilities. Instead, parents are urged to adopt a strengths-based mindset, focusing on their child's gifts and potential rather than framing th ...

Kelley Coleman succinctly sums up the crux of the issue faced by parents of disabled children: accessing the necessary supports for their kids to thrive is a daunting challenge. For parents and families embarking on this journey, the complexity and variability of services add layers of difficulty to their essential advocacy work.

Accessing the support systems and services designed to help disabled children and their families is an incredibly complex and daunting task

The landscape of resources and programs developed to aid disabled children is incredibly broad and varies greatly by location. This extensive variability makes it exceptionally challenging for parents to navigate and understand what options are available to them. Additionally, the effort to secure necessary accommodations, therapies, and other supports often demands that parents navigate complex bureaucratic processes. This requirement poses a significant challenge, as parents must become adept in these systems while simultaneously caring for their children's unique needs.

To overcome these challenges, parents must proactively advocate for their child's needs and ask clear, direct questions to get the information and assistance they require

For parents to navigate this labyrinth effectively, proact ...

Disability experts and advocates offer valuable insight for parents who wish to effectively support and advocate for their children with disabilities.

Heeding the advice and lived experiences of disabled individuals is crucial for parents to become effective advocates and allies for their children

Disability activist Judy Heumann has played a significant role in shaping the way non-disabled parents view and interact with their disabled children. She stressed the importance of parents learning from their disabled child’s experiences and perspectives. By respecting and following the child’s lead, parents teach their children self-advocacy and encourage them to be the fullest and most authentic versions of themselves.

Additionally, disabled individuals and their communities possess specialized knowledge in navigating various systems, gaining access to necessary support, and fostering a positive self-concept. These insights are invaluable to parents, allowing them to better support their child’s unique needs and journey.

Adopting a mindset of humility, openness to learning, and a willingness to do better is essential for non-disabled parents

For non-disabled parents, embracing a mindset characterized by humility and a readiness to learn is critical. Acknowledging one’s biases, admitting mistakes, and recognizing areas requiring growth are all part of the process that contributes to empowering disabled children.

The end goal ...