Podcasts > NPR's Book of the Day > 'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

By NPR (podcasts@npr.org)

In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day, the novel "The Museum of Failures" by Kiran Umrigar is explored. The story centers on Remy, the protagonist who grapples with a complex identity shaped by his Indian heritage and his father's embrace of American culture. As Remy returns to India, he confronts vivid sensory experiences and insights that challenge his negative perceptions of his homeland.

The episode also delves into the book's portrayal of Remy's tumultuous relationship with his mother, Shereen, and the family secrets he uncovers, forcing him to re-evaluate his family history. Through Remy's journey, Umrigar aims to provide a nuanced perspective on the complexities of the immigrant experience and the personal struggles faced by immigrants, even those who achieve success in their new country.

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'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

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'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

1-Page Summary

Remy's Dual Identity

The protagonist Remy struggles with a dual identity shaped by his father Cyrus' influence, encouraging an American identity and lifestyle, but also his own past connection to India. Umrigar stresses that Remy's return to India awakens vivid sensory experiences and insights from friends that make him question his negative perceptions of his homeland.

Remy's Difficult Mother-Son Relationship

Remy has a tumultuous relationship with his mother Shereen, contrasted against his more amiable father Cyrus. Shereen is portrayed as "difficult," confined to traditional gender roles within the home while Cyrus thrives in business. However, Umrigar suggests Shereen's demeanor stems from the limitations placed on her as a woman in Indian society.

Family Secrets and the Immigrant Experience

The novel centers on a family secret Remy uncovers, forcing him to re-evaluate his family history. Umrigar aims to convey the "divided self" and emotional toll of immigration, even for the successful. Yet she challenges assumptions that all Indians desire to emigrate, as Remy's friends appear content, providing a nuanced perspective on the varied immigrant experiences.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Explore your heritage through cooking by preparing a traditional dish from your family's country of origin, focusing on the sensory experience to connect with your roots and understand the complexities of identity.
    • Cooking can be a powerful way to engage with your cultural heritage. Choose a recipe that has been passed down in your family or is significant to your cultural background. As you cook, pay attention to the smells, tastes, and textures. Reflect on how these sensory experiences relate to your personal identity and the memories they may evoke. This can help you appreciate the nuances of your heritage and the ways it has shaped you.
  • Write a letter to a family member asking about their life experiences, aiming to uncover family stories or secrets that have shaped your family dynamics.
    • Writing to a relative, especially from an older generation, can be a gateway to understanding your family history. Ask open-ended questions about their life, challenges they faced, and any family stories they think are important. This can lead to a deeper understanding of your family's past and how it has influenced your present, much like uncovering a family secret can reshape one's perception of their history.
  • Create a personal journal entry or artwork that expresses the concept of a "divided self," using it as a therapeutic tool to explore and reconcile different aspects of your identity.
    • Expressive writing or art-making can be a cathartic way to deal with complex feelings about identity. Set aside time to create something that represents the different facets of who you are, especially if you feel caught between cultures or identities. This could be a collage, a poem, or a narrative. Use this process to explore your feelings about where you come from and where you are now, acknowledging the emotional toll of such a divided self and working towards self-acceptance.

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'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

The protagonist Remy's dual identity as an Indian-American

The protagonist Remy grapples with the complexities of a dual identity, shaped by his father's influence but also personal association with his past in India. His journey is not just geographical but also an internal confrontation with his heritage.

Remy's upbringing under his father's influence

Remy's father, Cyrus Swadia, played a significant role in molding Remy’s identity away from their Indian roots and more towards western culture.

Remy's American grooming

Cyrus exposed Remy to American music and novels, fostering an environment that encouraged him to adopt American identity and values.

Association with American lifestyle

Additionally, Remy eagerly embraced the American lifestyle as it allowed him to create distance from his Indian upbringing, which he associated with the difficult relationship he had with his mother. He relished the prospect of leaving behind the sadness linked to his early life in India.

Revisiting India and re-evaluating identity

Remy’s return to India serves as a catalyst for re-evaluating his perception of identity and his understanding of home.

Sensory reawakening in Bombay

The contrast between Remy's life in Ohio and his re-experience of Bombay is stark. On returning, he is struck by the vivid sensory experiences which starkly contrast his now routine life in the United States.

Insights from old friends

When reconnecting w ...

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The protagonist Remy's dual identity as an Indian-American

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Remy's adoption of American values does not necessarily mean a rejection of his Indian roots; it could also be seen as an expansion of his cultural repertoire.
  • The influence of Remy's father might not be the sole reason for Remy's distancing from Indian culture; individual choices and societal influences also play a significant role.
  • Embracing an American lifestyle does not inherently imply a negative view of one's own culture; it could simply be an adaptation to the current environment.
  • The difficult relationship with his mother might not be the only reason for Remy's distancing from Indian culture; other factors such as personal aspirations or experiences could also contribute.
  • Remy's re-evaluation of his identity upon returning to India could be influenced by nostalgia or idealization of the past, rather than an objective reassessment.
  • The stark contrast Remy feels upon returning to Bombay might be a common experience for many expatriates or diaspora individuals, not unique to Remy's situation.
  • Remy's friends' contented lives in India d ...

Actionables

  • You can explore your own cultural heritage by creating a personal timeline that includes both cultural milestones and personal life events. Start by jotting down significant moments in your life alongside key cultural events or traditions you remember. This visual representation can help you see how your cultural background and personal experiences intertwine and influence your identity.
  • Engage with cultural artifacts from your heritage to deepen your connection to it, such as cooking a traditional dish, listening to music, or reading literature from that culture. For instance, if you have Italian roots, you might try making homemade pasta from scratch while listening to Italian opera, or if you're of Japanese descent, you could participate in a tea ceremony or practice calligraphy.
  • Reach out to family members or comm ...

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'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

The complex relationship between Remy and his mother Shereen, and the representation of gender roles in their family

Shereen and her son Remy's tumultuous relationship set within the context of Indian society serves as a backdrop to exploring gender roles and expectations.

Shereen is portrayed as a "difficult" woman, in contrast to the more amiable and successful father Cyrus

Remy's memories of his upbringing in India are clouded by a very difficult and tense relationship with his mother, Shereen. She is portrayed as a "difficult" woman, particularly in contrast to Remy's father, Cyrus, who is seen as amiable and successful. While Cyrus thrives in the public sphere of his business, Shereen's world is confined to the home, a representation of traditional gender roles where men are the breadwinners, and women's activities are limited to the domestic space.

Shereen's frustrations and bitterness, directed towards her son, reflect the limited opportunities available to her as a woman in Indian society. Her confinement to the home and reduced public presence next to her husband's success create an unspoken tension in her relationship with Remy.

The novel explores how gender roles shape the dynamics between Remy and his parents

Shereen's demeanor of silence and withdrawal is framed as a powerful impression upon Remy's return. It is later revealed that her silence is not passive but an act of will as she grapples with the pain of her husband's death and the estrangement from her son. The novel unravels this act to suggest that what mi ...

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The complex relationship between Remy and his mother Shereen, and the representation of gender roles in their family

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Shereen's portrayal as "difficult" may be a subjective interpretation, and her behavior could be a result of complex personal issues unrelated to gender roles.
  • The father's amiability and success might not be fairly compared to Shereen's situation, as success and amiability are not directly opposed to being "difficult" or facing societal constraints.
  • Shereen's bitterness could be a personal trait or a reaction to specific circumstances in her life rather than a reflection of societal limitations on women.
  • The strategic nature of Shereen's silence could be an assumption; silence can also be a result of emotional exhaustion or a lack of perceived agency, not necessarily a conscious strategy.
  • While gender roles certainly influence family dynamics, it's possible that individual personality traits, communication patterns, and other family issues also play a significant role.
  • The na ...

Actionables

  • Reflect on your own family dynamics by journaling to identify any gender-based roles and expectations that may exist. Write down observations about how family members interact, who takes on which responsibilities, and how this might relate to societal gender norms. This can help you become more aware of unconscious biases and start conversations about sharing responsibilities more equitably.
  • Create a personal "opportunity map" to visualize the paths available to you and others in your community, regardless of gender. Draw a chart that includes your goals and the steps you believe are necessary to achieve them. Compare this with the perceived opportunities for someone of a different gender in your community. This can highlight disparities and inspire you to advocate for more inclusive opportunities.
  • Practice active listening in co ...

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'The Museum of Failures' follows a father-to-be as he stumbles upon family secrets

Themes of family secrets and the challenges of the immigrant experience

Thrity Umrigar's novel explores the depths of family secrets and the immigrant experience through the eyes of Remy, who is confronted with a startling revelation about his family.

The novel's central mystery revolves around a family secret that Remy uncovers, forcing him to re-evaluate his understanding of his family's history

Remy, as an adult, discovers a significant family secret that compels him to reassess his family history. This revelation has a profound effect on him, necessitating a confrontation with the past and its influence on his present identity.

The revelation of this secret has a profound impact on Remy, who as an adult must now come to terms with this new information

The author, Thrity Umrigar, wishes for readers to grasp the concept of the "divided self" that persists among immigrants, irrespective of their apparent success. She particularly wants to unveil the emotional impact—what she refers to as the psychic toll—that results from the upheaval of immigration. This toll can linger, even in a new, more privileged environment.

The novel also suggests that not all immigrants are driven to leave their homeland, as Remy's friends in India appear to have found fulfilling lives there

Through her characters, Umrigar challenges the assumption that emigration is a universal desire among those in India, pointing out that many find fulfillment without leaving their birth country. This stands in contrast to the more simplified and often negative portrayals of immigrants in widespread rhetoric, particularly during the Trump era.

The author wanted to elicit empathy in the reader and challenge the harsh rhetoric surrounding immigration during the Trump era

Umrigar seeks to evoke empathy from her readers, aiming to softe ...

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Themes of family secrets and the challenges of the immigrant experience

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The uncovering of family secrets as a plot device can sometimes overshadow other aspects of cultural or immigrant narratives, potentially reinforcing stereotypes about secretive or dysfunctional immigrant families.
  • The impact of family secrets on one's identity, while significant, may not universally lead to a profound crisis; some individuals might integrate new information without dramatic reassessment.
  • The concept of a "divided self" among immigrants might be an oversimplification, as many immigrants integrate their past and present without experiencing significant internal conflict.
  • The portrayal of contentment among non-emigrants in the homeland could be criticized for romanticizing the conditions in the country of origin, potentially minimizing the valid reasons many choose to emigrate.
  • While the novel aims to challenge assumptions about emigration, it may inadvertently reinforce other stereotypes or fail to represent the ful ...

Actionables

  • Explore your family tree to understand your heritage and its impact on your identity by using online genealogy platforms or DNA testing services. This can help you uncover your own family secrets and better understand the complexities of your family history, similar to Remy's experience. For example, you might find relatives you never knew about or learn about migrations and events that shaped your family's journey.
  • Write a personal essay or journal entry reflecting on the concept of a "divided self" if you or your ancestors have immigrated. Consider how the experience has shaped your identity and the challenges you've faced. This exercise can provide a therapeutic way to process your feelings and may offer insights into the immigrant experience that you can share with others to foster empathy.
  • Start a book club focused on immigrant authors ...

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