Podcasts > NPR's Book of the Day > Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

By NPR (podcasts@npr.org)

Dive into a heartfelt episode of NPR's Book of the Day, where Andrew Limbong, Advertisement, Don Gonyea, and Lucy Sante delve into a deeply personal topic. Sante shares her story of transitioning as a transgender woman in her later years, providing a unique perspective on the emotional complexities and societal challenges that accompany such a transformative experience. Her candid discussion encompasses the poignant sense of lost time in living her earlier years in a gender that didn’t align with her identity, while also revealing the unexpected advantages of the invisibility that can come with age.

Sante's interaction with FaceApp became a turning point in her journey, catalyzing her decision to transition by allowing her to visualize her true self. In this powerful narrative, she also addresses the broader socio-political issues, tackling the contentious issue of the political weaponization against the trans community. Her insights suggest a strategic diversion aimed at upholding traditional power structures, rather than fostering the safety and inclusivity for all societal members. Listeners will gain an understanding of the intersection between personal transition stories and the wider political discourse.

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Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

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Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

1-Page Summary

Transitioning later in life

Lucy Sante discusses her experience of transitioning at an older age and navigates both emotional and practical aspects of this life-altering decision. She confronts the heartbreak of not being able to live her younger years as the gender she identifies with, acknowledging this missed time as one of the significant emotional hurdles. Yet, she also recognizes instances where older age provides a form of invisibility that shields her from certain societal pressures. With a retired and financially stable life due to an established writing career, Sante focuses her attention on transitioning, utilizing her resources to buy new clothes and support her journey.

Finding motivation through FaceApp

Sante's exploration of her gender identity was profoundly influenced by her interaction with FaceApp. The moment she saw herself portrayed as an attractive woman brought a crucial realization and acceptance of her suppressed feelings regarding her gender identity. This revelation encouraged her to embark on the path of transitioning, motivated by the realization that she could still be the person she saw within the app - herself as an attractive woman reflecting her true gender.

Political weaponization

Sante acknowledges the political climate around trans individuals, pinpointing their status as ideal targets for scapegoating due to insufficient legal protections. She argues that the political attacks on trans communities aim more at preserving male dominance within society than at protecting any supposedly threatened demographics, such as women and children. Sante expresses that this misdirection is a tactic to perpetuate a form of supremacy, rather than address the well-being of society as a whole.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • FaceApp is a popular mobile application that uses artificial intelligence to transform users' photos, allowing them to see themselves as a different gender, older, younger, etc. In the context of gender identity exploration, FaceApp can provide a safe and private way for individuals to visualize and experiment with their gender expression. Seeing oneself portrayed as a different gender through FaceApp can sometimes trigger important realizations or affirmations about one's gender identity. This digital tool has been noted to play a role in helping some individuals better understand and come to terms with their gender identity.
  • The political climate around trans individuals often involves debates and controversies regarding their rights and recognition in society. Trans individuals can be targeted for scapegoating, meaning they are unfairly blamed for societal issues or used as distractions from more significant problems. This scapegoating can lead to discrimination, prejudice, and challenges in accessing equal rights and opportunities. Political attacks on trans communities can stem from a lack of legal protections and biases against gender diversity.
  • Transgender individuals may face legal gaps in protections related to discrimination, healthcare access, and identity documentation. These gaps can leave them vulnerable to mistreatment, denial of services, and challenges in affirming their gender identity. Insufficient legal safeguards can contribute to higher rates of violence, discrimination, and marginalization experienced by transgender people. Efforts to enhance legal protections aim to address these disparities and promote equality and safety for the transgender community.

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Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

Transitioning later in life

Lucy Sante shares her personal experiences with transitioning later in life, revealing the complex blend of emotions and practical realities that come with such a profound change in one's mid-60s.

Facing challenges like limited time as a woman

One poignant aspect of Sante's story is the confronting reality that she will never experience living as a young or middle-aged woman.

Not being able to live as a young or middle-aged woman is heartbreaking

Sante describes the heartbreak of knowing that, regardless of any effort or desire, the years as a young or middle-aged woman are possibilities she will never get to live. This loss represents a significant emotional challenge for her.

But invisibility due to age has advantages

Despite these challenges, Sante also notes that there can be advantages to the invisibility that often comes with age, suggesting there may be subtler societal pressures that she can avoid.

Reaping benefits of an established career and finances

Transitioning later in life, Sante has reaped the benefits of an established career and personal finances.

Retired with an es ...

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Transitioning later in life

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Transitioning later in life can bring a unique set of challenges and emotions due to the long-established identity one has lived with, societal expectations, and the physical changes that may be harder to achieve compared to transitioning at a younger age. Emotionally, individuals may grapple with feelings of loss for the experiences they will never have, as well as the fear of judgment or rejection from society and loved ones. Additionally, the process of transitioning later in life can be financially and logistically complex, requiring careful planning and support to navigate effectively.
  • As people age, they may experience a sense of invisibility in society, where they feel overlooked or less noticed. This invisibility can lead to a sense of freedom from societal expectations and pressures related to appearance and behavior. While it can be challenging to feel unseen, some individuals find advantages in being able to live more authentically without the same level of scrutiny or judgment they may have faced when younger.
  • The significance of not being able to live as a young or middle-aged woman lies in the emotional impact of missing out on formative experiences and societal roles typically associated with those life stages. This loss can bring about a sense of grief and longing for experiences that are now unattainable, shaping one's perception of self and identity. It underscores the unique challenges faced by individuals transitioning later in life, as they grapple with the complexities of ...

Counterarguments

  • While transitioning later in life does present unique challenges, it can also offer a perspective of maturity and self-awareness that might not be present earlier in life.
  • The heartbreak of not experiencing life as a young or middle-aged woman is valid, but it's also important to recognize the value and richness of experiences that can be had at any age.
  • Invisibility due to age might have some advantages, but it can also contribute to a sense of marginalization and lack of representation in society, which can be a significant disadvantage.
  • Having an established career and finances can indeed be beneficial when transitioning, but it's important to acknowledge that not all individuals have this privilege, a ...

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Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

Finding motivation through FaceApp

Seeing herself pictured as an attractive woman with her features was pivotal

Lucy Sante's encounter with FaceApp became a pivotal moment in her life. When she used the app's gender swap function, she was surprised to see herself as an attractive woman in late middle age, possessing her own distinct features.

Opened the floodgates and forced her to recognize her gender identity

This experience with FaceApp forced Lucy Sante to confront her gender identity head-on, acknowledging the life she had only ...

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Finding motivation through FaceApp

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The gender swap function on FaceApp is a feature that digitally alters a person's facial features to appear as the opposite gender. Users can upload a photo of themselves and apply this filter to see how they might look with different gender characteristics. This tool has gained popularity for its entertainment value and its ability to allow users to experiment with their appearance in a virtual space. It is important to note that the results of such filters are purely digital and do not reflect actual physical changes.
  • Gender identity is a person's deeply held sense of their gender, which may be different from the sex they were assigned at birth. Gender incongruence occurs when there is a mismatch between a person's gender identity and the sex they were assigned at birth. This misalignment can cause distress and discomfort for individuals, leading them to seek ways to align their physical appearance and social roles with their true gender identity. Accepting and affirming one's gender identity is crucial for the well-being and mental health of individuals expe ...

Counterarguments

...

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Lucy Sante's memoir reflects on her experience coming out as transgender in her 60s

Political weaponization

Sante highlights the precarious position of trans individuals in society, noting their vulnerability due to the absence of substantial legal support. This lack of protection makes them susceptible to becoming scapegoats in the political arena.

Attacks aim to uphold male supremacy rather than protect women and children

Sante emphatically argues that the attacks on trans people have less to do w ...

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Political weaponization

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Trans people are often targeted in political discourse due to their marginalized status and lack of legal protections. Their vulnerability makes them easy targets for blame and discrimination, deflecting attention from larger societal issues. By focusing on trans individuals, politicians can distract from more pressing concerns and rally support by appealing to prejudices and fears. This scapegoating serves to reinforce power dynamics and maintain existing systems of oppression.
  • Attacks on trans people are often rooted in maintaining traditional gender norms and reinforcing male dominance in society. By targeting trans individuals who challenge binary gender roles, perpetrators seek to uphold a system where male power and privilege are preserved. This connection reflects a broader societal struggle over gender identity and the resistance to accepting diverse expressions of gender beyond the traditional male-female binary.
  • The misdirection used to justify actions against trans communities often involves framing these actions as necessary to protect women and children, while ...

Counterarguments

...

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