Podcasts > Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin > Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

By Money News Network

In this episode of Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin, Catt Sadler shares her experience navigating the financial and emotional challenges of divorce. From protecting assets like real estate, retirement accounts, and credit to handling raw emotions and co-parenting, Sadler provides practical advice.

The discussion also covers coping strategies like maintaining mental health through therapy and self-care, reframing divorce as a new chapter, and approaching dating mindfully. Sadler emphasizes the importance of personal growth, embracing change, and cultivating self-love during this transformative period.

Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

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Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

1-Page Summary

Protecting Financial Interests During Divorce

Document Assets; Identify Separate & Marital Property

Gather financial records to understand your situation. Catt Sadler recommends distinguishing separate property like inheritances from marital assets whose value increased during marriage.

Safeguard Credit & Real Estate

Remove your name from joint credit accounts. For real estate, refinance to get your spouse off the mortgage or let them keep the home, says Sadler.

Divide Retirement Accounts Properly

Use a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) to correctly split 401(k)s and pensions without penalties or taxes.

Hire a Knowledgeable Divorce Attorney

Choose an attorney who understands your specific needs and goals, not just an aggressive litigator.

Emotional Challenges & Coping Strategies

Sadler felt a sense of failure as her family crumbled. She coped with fear her kids would feel broken.

Prioritize Children Through Co-Parenting

Sadler emphasizes the importance of amicable co-parenting with her ex to stabilize her children's lives.

Maintain Mental Health

Lean on your support system. Sadler relied on family, friends, and therapy for resilience and accountability.

Reframe Your Perspective

See your divorce as a new life chapter, not an end. Adopt "conscious uncoupling" for a healthy relationship with your ex.

Rebuilding Life Post-Divorce

Approach Dating Wisely

Learn from past mistakes to identify compatible partners. Set boundaries and standards for your desired love.

Create a Fulfilling Independent Life

Develop interests, pursue hobbies, and cultivate self-love and trust in your inner voice, advises Sadler.

Embrace Personal Growth

View adversity as an opportunity for self-awareness and resilience. Grateful for life's ups and downs, embrace change.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a digital inventory of your assets using a secure cloud-based spreadsheet, which can be shared with your attorney but not easily accessed by others. This helps you keep track of your financial situation in real-time and ensures that you have a backup in case of disputes or lost documents. For example, you can use platforms like Google Sheets or Microsoft OneDrive to create a categorized list of assets, liabilities, and account numbers, updating it as changes occur.
  • Develop a personal "credit health" routine by scheduling monthly reviews of your credit report and setting up alerts for any new activities. This proactive approach allows you to spot potential issues early and take action before they impact your credit score. Services like Credit Karma or Experian can provide free credit monitoring and alerts to keep you informed of changes to your credit file.
  • Start a "divorce diary" where you document your emotional journey, including the challenges and successes of co-parenting and personal growth. This reflective practice can help you process your feelings, track your progress, and identify patterns or areas for improvement. You might write about how you successfully navigated a difficult conversation with your ex-spouse or how you managed to maintain a positive attitude during a stressful situation, using this as a tool for resilience and self-awareness.

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Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

Financial Strategies For Protecting Wealth During Divorce

Planning and knowledge are key when protecting assets during the challenging time of divorce. Here are strategies to help safeguard financial interests.

Gather and Organize Financial Documents Before Divorce Proceedings

Gather Financial Documents to Understand Your Situation

Begin by gathering crucial financial documents before even starting divorce discussions. This collection should encompass bank statements, tax returns from the past three to five years, retirement accounts, investment portfolios, credit card statements, mortgage documents, and any additional liabilities. Understanding your financial situation is pivotal.

Understand and Protect Separate and Marital Property

Identify Separate Property: Pre-marriage Assets, Inheritances, Gifts

Assets brought into the marriage, inheritances, and gifts received by one spouse are typically considered separate property. These are important to identify early in the divorce process.

Increases in Asset Values During Marriage as Marital Property

Increases in the value of separate assets during the marriage, such as real estate, stocks, or a business, might be considered marital property. For example, if a pre-marriage condo's value escalates from $200,000 to $500,000, the resulting $300,000 increase can potentially be seen as marital.

Safeguard Your Credit and Real Estate

Remove Your Name From Joint Credit to Avoid Liability For Ex-spouse's Debts

Detaching your name from joint credit responsibilities is essential to avoid liability for any debt incurred by an ex-spouse. Freezing joint accounts can also achieve this goal.

Refinance to Remove Ex-spouse, or Let Them Keep Home and Remove You

When dealing with the marital home, consider if you can independently handle the mortgage, taxes, and maintenance. Refinancing the home to exclude the ex-spouse from the mortgage is crucial for both parties' credit.

Divide Retirement Accounts Properly

Use a Qdro to Ensure Fair Distribution of 401(k)s, Pensions, and Iras Without Tax Penalties

Retirement accounts need to be divided in accordance wi ...

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Financial Strategies For Protecting Wealth During Divorce

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While gathering financial documents is important, it can sometimes be difficult or impossible if one spouse has restricted access to this information or if there is a lack of transparency.
  • Identifying separate property is not always straightforward, as commingling of assets can occur, making it challenging to distinguish what is separate and what is marital property.
  • The increase in asset values being considered marital property can be contested, especially if one spouse can prove that the increase is due to their separate effort or investment.
  • Removing one's name from joint credit accounts may not be immediately possible or could require the cooperation of the other spouse, which might not be forthcoming.
  • Refinancing the home to remove an ex-spouse from the mortgage assumes that one party can qualify for a mortgage on their own, which may not be feasible for everyone.
  • A QDRO is a useful tool, but the process of dividing retirement accounts can be complex and may result in disagreements over what constitutes a "fair" d ...

Actionables

  • Create a digital financial diary to track changes in your assets and liabilities over time. By regularly updating this diary, you can have a clear, ongoing record of your financial status, which can be invaluable during divorce proceedings. For example, use a simple spreadsheet or a dedicated app to note down fluctuations in your bank accounts, investments, and debts, ensuring you have a timestamped log that can help establish the nature of your assets.
  • Develop a personal "asset map" to visually represent your separate and marital property. This can help you understand the extent of your financial landscape. Use a free graphic design tool to create a diagram that differentiates between pre-marriage assets, inheritances, gifts, and marital property, color-coding each category for clarity.
  • Set up a monthly "financial ...

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Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

Emotional and Mental Health Challenges of Divorce

Divorce is a challenging emotional journey that requires particular attention to both mental health and wealth. From the raw emotions at the outset to co-parenting strategies, individuals like Catt Sadler and Pamela Maass Garrett share their personal experiences navigating these tumultuous times.

Cope With the Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce

Divorce is more than just a legal and financial ordeal; it’s a full-blown emotional roller coaster.

Managing Failure and Future Uncertainty

Catt Sadler discusses feeling like a failure and the devastation of seeing her family crumble during the divorce process. She felt a shell of a person, weak and dying on the inside, despite her professional successes. Dealing with failure and uncertain futures, Sadler and others like her experienced a multitude of daily emotions, including fear that her children would perceive themselves as part of something broken.

Ensure Children's Well-Being With Amicable Co-parenting

Sadler emphasizes the importance of amicable co-parenting to ensure her children’s well-being through the transition of divorce. Both she and her ex-husband, Kyle, prioritized their children and adopted a kids-first approach, discussing arrangements to keep their children's lives as stable as possible.

Maintain Your Mental Health and Emotional Resilience

Divorce demands resilience and the support of family and friends.

Lean On Your Support System During Difficult Times

Sadler relied heavily on her support system during her divorce. Family members offered comfort, and friends provided perspective and accountability. Additionally, professional help from a therapist proved to be invaluable. Similarly, Pamela Maass Garrett indicates that support systems are crucial during the unpredictability that accompanies divorce.

Prioritize Self-Care and Growth, Even if It Means Pausing Your Career

Reflecting on the demanding nature of her career during her divorce, Sadler mentions the challenge of staying professional on-air, which sometimes delayed her grieving process. She also shares that a busy work schedule led to neglecting personal self-care routines. However, maintaining her career while going through a divorce acted as a coping mechanism for her.

Reframe Your Perspective On Divorce ...

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Emotional and Mental Health Challenges of Divorce

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While amicable co-parenting is ideal, it may not always be possible due to high-conflict situations or when one parent is uncooperative or abusive.
  • Support systems are important, but not everyone has access to a reliable support network, and some individuals may need to seek alternative forms of support.
  • Prioritizing self-care and growth is beneficial, but not everyone has the luxury to pause their career, especially if they are the primary breadwinner or facing financial constraints.
  • Reframing the perspective on divorce can be helpful, but it may not be a straightforward process for everyone, and some individuals may struggle ...

Actionables

  • Create a "divorce diary" to navigate the emotional journey, writing down feelings, failures, and uncertainties, then reflect on patterns and progress to foster emotional resilience.
  • Keeping a diary dedicated to your divorce experience allows you to track your emotional state over time. You might notice that certain events trigger feelings of failure, while others bring uncertainty to the forefront. By identifying these patterns, you can work on strategies to manage these emotions more effectively. For example, if you find that discussions about finances consistently cause stress, you might decide to prepare for these conversations by reviewing your financial documents beforehand or scheduling them at a time of day when you feel most composed.
  • Develop a "co-parenting charter" with your ex-partner, outlining shared values and commitments to your children's well-being, and review it together regularly to stay aligned.
  • Drafting a co-parenting charter involves sitting down with your ex-partner and agreeing on the core values and principles that will guide your co-parenting relationship. This might include commitments to open communication, flexibility in scheduling, and a promise to keep the children's needs at the forefront. By reviewing and updating this charter regularly, perhaps during a monthly coffee meeting, you ensure that both parents remain committed to amicable co-parenting despite the changing dynamics of post-divorce life.
  • Start a "self-care swap" with friends or family members to prioritize personal growth, exc ...

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Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce

Rebuilding Life and Relationships Post-Divorce

Catt Sadler and other voices present a rich tapestry of insights on rebuilding life and relationships after a divorce, stressing the importance of wisdom, self-love, and openness to growth and transformation.

Approach New Relationships With Wisdom and Discernment

Post-divorce can be a difficult time, but with reflection and intentional action, it can also be an opportunity for learning and growth.

Learn From Mistakes to Identify Compatible Partners

After her divorce, Catt Sadler acknowledged a loss of faith in men. However, she learned from her past experiences, including her mother's multiple marriages and her own, to reform how she perceives love. Sadler's transformative moment came following a toxic relationship that made her reevaluate her self-worth and her role in accepting such treatment. It was this reevaluation that helped her to recognize when a relationship wasn't beneficial, strengthening her ability to end things out of self-love.

Set Boundaries and Standards For Your Desired Love and Partnership

Sadler's time away from dating allowed her to establish new boundaries and standards for her future relationships. She underscores the power of choice, emphasizing the importance of not settling and finding a partner who meets her criteria and contributes positively to her life. Pamela Maass Garrett echoes this idea, advocating for clarity and self-knowledge in establishing relationship boundaries to attract the right partners.

Create a Fulfilling Life Independent of a Partner

Independence and self-fulfillment become paramount in the journey of rebuilding post-divorce.

Develop, Pursue Interests, Build a Network

Sadler took the chance to explore new activities and to build on different aspects of life. She went on retreats, took up hot yoga, and traveled with friends. Through these experiences, Sadler focused on becoming the best version of herself, rediscovering the joy of living well.

Cultivate Self-Love; Trust Your Inner Compass

Intensive therapy and introspection, particularly during the pandemic, marked Sadler's journey of healing and self-improvement. She believes in consistently showing up for oneself and trusting one's instincts as one moves through the phases of post-divorce life.

Embrace the Opportunity For Growth ...

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Rebuilding Life and Relationships Post-Divorce

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While wisdom and self-love are important, some individuals may find that relying on external support systems like family, friends, or professional help is equally crucial in rebuilding life post-divorce.
  • Reflection and intentional action are beneficial, but some people may also need to allow themselves time to grieve and heal before they can fully engage in learning and growth.
  • Identifying compatible partners from past mistakes assumes that individuals have a clear understanding of what went wrong, which may not always be the case.
  • Setting boundaries and standards is important, but being too rigid might limit opportunities for unexpected, yet fulfilling, relationships.
  • Independence is valuable, but interdependence with others can also lead to a fulfilling post-divorce life.
  • Pursuing interests and building a network are great, but some individuals may find solace in solitude and may not feel the need to actively seek out new activities or social connections.
  • Cultivating self-love is essential, but it's also important to recognize that self-improvement ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Reflection Journal" to document your personal growth journey, focusing on what you've learned from past relationships and how you envision your future partnerships. Start by writing down the qualities you desire in a partner and the boundaries you want to set. Reflect on these regularly to ensure they align with your evolving sense of self-worth and independence.
  • Develop a "Self-Love Plan" that includes daily affirmations, a list of activities that make you feel fulfilled, and a commitment to trying one new hobby or interest each month. This plan should be a living document that you can adjust as you discover more about what brings you joy and conten ...

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