#1013 - Scott Galloway - How to Fix a Culture of Emasculated Men
In this Modern Wisdom episode, Scott Galloway examines the challenges facing young men today, from declining college attendance rates to employment difficulties. He analyzes how educational disparities and the absence of positive male role models contribute to broader social issues, while addressing both progressive and conservative perspectives on modern masculinity.
The discussion covers potential solutions to these challenges, including the implementation of national service programs and the importance of mentorship. Galloway also explores how changing social dynamics and online dating have affected young men's relationships, and discusses ways to develop social skills while navigating contemporary dating norms. The conversation provides context for understanding these issues while suggesting practical approaches to address them.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Oct 30, 2025 episode of the Modern Wisdom
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1-Page Summary
The Crisis Facing Young Men and Its Causes
Scott Galloway discusses a growing crisis among young men, highlighting their struggles across multiple life domains. In education, women now make up 60% of college attendance, with men more likely to drop out and less likely to apply. During COVID-19, men were seven times more likely than women to abandon their education. This educational disparity, Galloway explains, leads to employment difficulties and can trigger self-destructive behaviors, including engagement with toxic online content.
Redefining and Reframing Masculinity
Galloway challenges both far-right and far-left narratives about masculinity, arguing against the notion that masculine traits are inherently toxic. He advocates for a balanced vision of masculinity that embraces both traditional attributes like strength and competitiveness alongside compassion and emotional intelligence. This framework, he suggests, could serve as a guiding code for young men's development, helping them aim high while remaining emotionally open.
The Importance of Male Role Models and Mentorship
The absence of positive male role models significantly impacts young men's development, according to Galloway. He notes that boys who lose male role models face higher risks of incarceration and lower college graduation rates. As a solution, Galloway actively engages in mentoring young men and encourages others to do the same, whether through formal programs like Big Brothers or informal mentorship roles.
Supporting Young Men: Role of Social Institutions and Programs
Galloway proposes several institutional solutions to support young men, including mandatory national service programs similar to Israel's model. He suggests such programs could provide discipline and purpose while serving community needs. Additionally, Galloway advocates for broader policy changes, including progressive tax structures and increased investment in public goods, drawing parallels to post-WWII policies that helped build the American middle class.
Evolving Dating and Relationship Dynamics
In discussing modern dating challenges, Galloway addresses the impact of online dating and changing social norms. He emphasizes the importance of developing social skills and overcoming fear of rejection. Williamson adds that post-Me Too concerns and remote work have reduced opportunities for natural social interaction, while mixed messages about masculinity have left many young men uncertain about how to express romantic interest appropriately.
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Counterarguments
- While women may make up 60% of college attendance, this statistic alone doesn't account for the variety of educational paths available, such as vocational training or apprenticeships, where men may be more prevalent.
- The claim that men were seven times more likely to abandon their education during COVID-19 could be influenced by various factors, including economic pressures to support families, which might disproportionately affect men.
- Educational disparities may lead to employment difficulties, but it's also important to consider the role of economic cycles, industry demands, and regional job markets in employment outcomes.
- While a balanced vision of masculinity is advocated, it's important to recognize that masculinity is culturally and individually defined, and there may be many ways to express masculinity that are healthy and positive.
- The importance of male role models is highlighted, but it's also worth considering the positive impact that female role models can have on young men's development.
- The suggestion of mandatory national service programs could be challenged by the belief in personal freedom and the right to choose one's own path without government-mandated service.
- Progressive tax structures and increased investment in public goods are proposed as solutions, but alternative viewpoints might emphasize economic growth, job creation, and personal responsibility as means to support young men.
- The impact of online dating and changing social norms on dating dynamics could be seen as an evolution of social interaction rather than a challenge, with some arguing that these changes provide more opportunities for diverse and meaningful connections.
- The importance of developing social skills and overcoming fear of rejection in dating is noted, but it could also be argued that there is a need for societal changes that make vulnerability and rejection less stigmatized for everyone.
- Post-Me Too concerns are mentioned as reducing natural social interactions, but others might argue that the movement has been crucial in establishing healthier and more respectful boundaries in both professional and personal contexts.
- The idea that mixed messages about masculinity leave young men uncertain could be countered by the perspective that society is in a period of transition towards a more inclusive understanding of gender roles, which requires an adjustment period.
Actionables
- You can volunteer as a mentor for youth in your community to provide positive male role models for boys who may lack them. By reaching out to local schools, community centers, or organizations like the Boys & Girls Club, you can offer your time and guidance. Your involvement could help reduce the risks associated with the absence of male figures in young men's lives, such as higher incarceration rates and lower educational achievements.
- Develop your emotional intelligence by practicing active listening and empathy in daily interactions. Start by asking friends or family members about their day and really listen to their responses, reflecting back their feelings and asking follow-up questions. This can help you balance traditional masculine traits with emotional intelligence, fostering a more inclusive vision of masculinity.
- Create a personal development plan that includes goals for social skill enhancement, such as initiating conversations with strangers or attending social events alone. Set specific, measurable objectives like starting a chat with one new person per week or going to a community meetup once a month. This can help you navigate modern dating dynamics and social norms, improving your confidence and ability to express romantic interest appropriately.
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The Crisis Facing Young Men and Its Causes
Scott Galloway brings to the forefront a societal issue – the critical struggles that young men are facing in various aspects of life, from education to social engagement.
Young Men Face Greater Struggles In Education, Employment, Mental Health, and Social Outcomes
Galloway acknowledges that young men are increasingly lagging behind in several areas, most notably in education and employment which can lead to mental health issues and adverse social outcomes.
Men Lag In College Attendance and Graduation; Economic Gap Surpasses Racial Gap
In the realm of education, women are outpacing men significantly. They make up the majority in college attendance with a 60/40 ratio and also tend to score higher academically. College enrollment used to favor men 40 years ago, prompting affirmative action for women. Now, the tables have turned, and men not only drop out at higher rates but also apply to college less often because many feel unwelcome in academic environments. The academic gap between rich and poor has also grown larger than the racial gap, affecting young men considerably.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, men were seven times more likely to drop out of education than women, exacerbating an already concerning trend.
Young Men Likely to Drop Out, Struggle With Employment, and Engage In Self-Destructive Behavior
The lack of young male engagement in higher education translates into struggles with employment. Without college degrees, young men are finding it harder to secure stable jobs, which Galloway links to a rise in self-destructive behaviors. Men may turn to the internet where they can be more susceptible to toxic content, including nationalistic and misogynistic views.
Roots of Young Men's Crisis: Economic, Social, and Cultural Factors Leading To Disconnection ...
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The Crisis Facing Young Men and Its Causes
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Counterarguments
- The focus on young men may overshadow the struggles that young women also face, which can be different but equally serious.
- The 60/40 college attendance ratio might not reflect a crisis for men as much as it represents a positive shift towards gender equality in higher education.
- The assertion that men feel unwelcome in academic environments could be more nuanced, considering individual experiences and the efforts made by many institutions to be inclusive.
- Economic challenges and the rise in self-destructive behaviors are not exclusive to young men and can be seen across genders.
- The link between economic viability and relationship prospects could be oversimplified and not take into account the complexity of modern relationships and the changing dynamics of what is considered attractive.
- The idea that the education system is biased against men might require more empirical evidence and could detract from the focus on improving education for all genders.
- The notion that men are turning to toxic internet content could be ba ...
Actionables
- You can mentor a young man in your community to provide guidance and support in education and career planning. By becoming a mentor, you offer a personal connection and practical advice that can help address feelings of unwelcomeness in academic settings and provide encouragement to pursue higher education or vocational training. For example, you might volunteer with a local youth organization or offer to help a neighbor's son with college applications and discuss different career paths.
- Start a book club focused on male authors and themes that resonate with young men's experiences. This can create a space for discussion and reflection on topics relevant to their lives, potentially improving mental health and social outcomes. For instance, select books that tackle issues of masculinity, purpose, and resilience, and meet regularly to discuss these themes in a supportive environment.
- Encourage young men to engage in community service or part-time work that ali ...
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Redefining and Reframing Masculinity
Scott Galloway addresses the complexities of redefining masculinity in today's society, critiquing the far-right's nostalgia and the far-left's sometimes negative portrayal of men.
Unproductive Narratives: Masculinity As Toxic or Avoided
Galloway dismisses the notion that masculinity is inherently linked to negative traits such as violence, cruelty, or oppression. He argues that conflating masculinity with toxicity is counterproductive.
Masculinity Is Distinct From Violence, Cruelty, or Oppression
Scott Galloway asserts that attributes traditionally associated with masculinity, such as strength, risk-taking, and aggression, have significantly benefited society and should not be misunderstood as inherently violent or malicious. He notes that the right has recognized the challenges facing young men, though sometimes the response conflates coarseness with manliness. Galloway further comments on the double standards in the perception of assertiveness and leadership between men and women.
A Balanced Vision of Masculinity Embracing Strength, Competitiveness, Risk-Taking, Kindness, Compassion, and Emotional Intelligence Is Needed
Galloway argues for a balanced approach, where masculine traits are not seen as contradictory to being kind, compassionate, or emotionally intelligent. He suggests that society's expectations for men to show competitiveness can be healthy, but it should also incorporate attributes like protection and providing security. Galloway and Williamson advocate for a nuanced approach that combines ambition with sensitivity, emphasizing the importance of empathy and suppo ...
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Redefining and Reframing Masculinity
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Counterarguments
- The concept of masculinity is culturally and historically variable, and what is considered masculine in one culture or era may not be seen as such in another.
- Some argue that focusing on redefining masculinity may inadvertently reinforce gender binaries and fail to account for non-binary and transgender experiences.
- There is a debate over whether certain traits are inherently masculine or whether society has arbitrarily assigned gender to certain behaviors and characteristics.
- Critics may argue that the push to redefine masculinity could be perceived as an attempt to police male behavior, which could be counterproductive or even oppressive.
- The idea of masculinity as a guiding code could be seen as prescriptive, potentially limiting individual expression and the diversity of male experiences.
- Some may argue that the emphasis on being a protector and provider is an outdated aspect of traditional masculinity that does not necessarily align with modern gender roles or the aspirations of ma ...
Actionables
- Start a personal journal to reflect on your daily actions and how they align with a balanced vision of masculinity. Use this space to write about instances where you demonstrated both strength and kindness, or competitiveness and compassion. For example, if you helped a colleague with a challenging task, note how you combined ambition with teamwork.
- Create a "Masculinity Book Club" with friends or colleagues, focusing on reading and discussing literature that portrays men in diverse roles that embody both traditional and modern masculine traits. Choose books that showcase male characters as nurturing, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent, as well as strong and assertive.
- Volunteer for mentorship programs that support young men, wh ...
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The Importance of Male Role Models and Mentorship
Scott Galloway emphasizes the critical need for positive male role models and mentorship in the healthy development of young men, recognizing their unique ability to impart a mix of love, motivation, and discipline.
Lack of Positive Male Role Models and Mentorship Impacts Young Men's Struggles
The absence of a male role model is highlighted as a significant issue for boys, with Galloway suggesting that men are better equipped to handle specific situations and lessons as role models. He also acknowledges the importance of having a balance of both feminine and masculine energy in raising children.
Loss of Male Role Models Leads Young Men To Risks Like Incarceration and Mental Health Issues
Galloway discusses the detrimental effects of losing a male role model through death, disease, or abandonment, with young men becoming more likely to be incarcerated and less likely to graduate from college. Girls in similar circumstances do not exhibit the same negative outcomes.
Men Should Mentor and Support Young Men As Fathers, Teachers, Leaders, or Through Big Brothers Programs
Galloway conveys his personal involvement in mentoring young men, mentoring or coaching two to three individuals at any given time. He describes an exercise he uses with mentees to improve their social skills and resilience, such as putting themselves in social environments with strangers and ...
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The Importance of Male Role Models and Mentorship
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Counterarguments
- While positive male role models can be beneficial, it's important to recognize that role models of any gender can provide valuable guidance and support to young men.
- The assertion that men are better equipped to handle specific situations may overlook the diverse capabilities and strengths that individuals of all genders can bring to mentorship.
- The idea that girls do not exhibit the same negative outcomes in the absence of role models could be challenged by research showing that all children benefit from positive role models, regardless of gender.
- The focus on male mentorship might unintentionally undervalue the impact of female mentors, who can also provide important perspectives and support to young men.
- The concept of building a "cool posse" of friends could be seen as reinforcing certain social hierarchies or pressures, rather than fostering genuine connections based on shared values and mutual respect.
- The impact of remote work and technol ...
Actionables
- Volunteer at local youth organizations to provide mentorship and positive male influence. By dedicating a few hours a week to mentorship programs, you can offer guidance and support to boys who may lack male role models in their lives. For example, you could help with homework, teach a skill, or simply be there to listen and offer advice.
- Start a peer support group to foster male friendships and camaraderie. Gather a group of friends or acquaintances who share common interests and commit to regular meetups. This could be a book club, a sports team, or a group focused on personal development, where members can share experiences and support each other's growth.
- Create a personal development plan foc ...
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Evolving Dating and Relationship Dynamics for Young Men
Scott Galloway and guests delve into the complexities facing young men as they navigate the modern landscape of dating and relationships, marked by the rise of online dating and shifting societal norms.
Online Dating Rise Challenges Young Men
Men Struggle With Norms In Expressing Romantic Interest and Attractiveness
Galloway emphasizes the importance of mentorship in guiding young men through challenges posed by online dating, such as the fear of rejection. He underscores the value of practicing asking people out to overcome this fear and learn that encountering rejection is a normal step towards getting a 'yes.' He also advises young men to improve themselves in various aspects, including dressing well, being kind, being fit, and learning how to listen. Galloway suggests that on dates, young men should ask questions and show genuine interest, moving away from boastful behavior.
Focus On Traditional Masculinity Markers In Online Dating Impedes Some Men's Romantic Success
Galloway and Williamson discuss the diminishing opportunities for young men to demonstrate their attractiveness due to remote working policies and concerns around dating coworkers post-Me Too. This has led to fewer venues for showcasing qualities that might attract a partner. Williamson also discusses women's socioeconomic advancement and how it has made the dating pool more "rarefied," benefiting ultra high-performing men. Galloway adds that in online dating scenarios, where one cannot easily showcase smell, humor, or body language, people often default to signaling resources and physical traits, such as height.
Toxic Masculinity Narratives Hinder Young Men From Building Healthy Relationships
Williamson speaks on the mixed messages young men receive about masculinity and approaching women. He mentions that, post-Me Too, the more naturally hesitant men became even more cautious, fearing that any approach might be unwelcome. Williamson cites David Buss's book indicating most negative actions attributed to men are by a small cohort of repeat offenders, not the majority. Galloway points out the complexity of discerning between harassment and expressing interest in a way that makes the other feel safe. He and Williamson suggest that young men are deterred from taking the initiative in forming relationships due to societal caution against such approaches.
Galloway discusses the consequences of media narratives, which often portray men's relationship mistakes as red flags, suggesting that young men be self-reflective and kind, focusing on building a connection over time. Both he and Williamson highlight the role of kindness and emphasize that acts of kindness should become a natural part of a young man's character. This contrasts with the idea that certain narratives may influence expectations and norms around romantic in ...
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Evolving Dating and Relationship Dynamics for Young Men
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Counterarguments
- While mentorship can be valuable, not all young men have access to mentors, and some may find success through self-guided learning or peer support.
- Overcoming the fear of rejection is important, but it's also crucial to recognize and respect boundaries; not all forms of "practice" may be appropriate or welcomed.
- Self-improvement advice like dressing well and being fit can inadvertently reinforce superficial standards and may not address deeper issues of self-esteem or character.
- The focus on traditional masculinity markers may overlook the diversity of what different individuals find attractive, and there's a risk of reinforcing stereotypes.
- The idea that women's socioeconomic advancement has made the dating pool more "rarefied" could be seen as oversimplifying complex social dynamics and may not account for the varied preferences of women.
- The suggestion that young men are deterred from taking the initiative in relationships could be balanced with the perspective that respectful communication and consent are paramount in any approach.
- The emphasis on kindness is positive, but it's important to recognize that kindness alone is not a guarantee of romantic success and that mutual compatibility is key.
- The notion of media portrayal skewing society's view of men's roles could be complemented by acknowledging the media's role in reflecting and sometimes challenging existing societal norms.
- The advice to differentiate kindness from ...
Actionables
- You can create a "rejection resume" by noting down each time you ask someone out and get rejected, along with what you learned from the experience. This turns the often daunting experience of rejection into a constructive feedback loop, helping you to overcome the fear of rejection and improve your approach.
- Develop a "kindness habit tracker" where you record daily acts of kindness, both big and small, to integrate kindness into your character. By tracking these actions, you can ensure that kindness becomes a consistent part of your behavior, rather than a one-off act.
- Start a peer-led book club focused on ...
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Supporting Young Men: Role of Social Institutions and Programs
In response to social changes that have left young men with fewer communal spaces and support structures, Galloway emphasizes the need for a conversation about programs and investments to uplift young men.
Limited Programs For Empowering Young Men
Galloway points to the lack of specialized programs for young men and suggests that broader policies might be necessary to improve their outcomes.
Mandatory National Service Can Instill Young Men With Skills, Discipline, and Purpose
Mandatory national service is discussed as a positive force for young people, referencing Israel’s program that provides discipline and purpose. Galloway suggests that such a program—though not necessarily military in nature—could be adapted in America to help young men who may not be prepared for college at age 18. He envisions a national service initiative that could include environmental conservation, elder care, or other community services. This service, he believes, could introduce young men to diverse experiences and responsibilities and would instill them with skills, discipline, and a sense of purpose while fostering an appreciation for being in America.
More Male Teachers and Role Models Needed In K-12 to Support Young Men
The differentiation in education approaches, such as that seen in boys' schools that provide twice as much recess, signals a need for a tailored approach to education for boys. While Galloway does not directly state the need for more male teachers and role models within K-12 schools, his discussion about the importance of a unique educational approach for boys implies that such role models could greatly support young men.
Broader Policies, Like Progressive Taxes and Public Goods Investment, Could Improve Outcomes for Young Men
Galloway and Williamson discuss broader policy changes ...
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Supporting Young Men: Role of Social Institutions and Programs
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Mandatory national service may be seen as an infringement on individual freedom, and some argue that it should be voluntary to respect personal choice.
- There is a concern that national service programs could be costly for the government to implement and maintain, potentially leading to increased taxes or reallocation of funds from other important areas.
- The effectiveness of national service programs in instilling discipline and purpose is not universally agreed upon, and some argue that these outcomes can be achieved through other means, such as education or vocational training.
- The call for more male teachers and role models in K-12 education could be challenged by the argument that the quality of education and mentorship is not necessarily determined by the gender of the teacher or role model.
- While differentiated education approaches may benefit some boys, there is a risk of reinforcing gender stereotypes, and it is important to ensure that educational strategies are inclusive and beneficial for all students, regardless of gender.
- Progressive tax structures and public goods investment are politically contentious, and some argue that such policies could discourage investme ...
Actionables
- Volunteer as a mentor for young men in your community to provide guidance and positive role models. By partnering with local schools or youth organizations, you can offer your time to mentor students, helping them develop skills and confidence. For example, you could assist with homework, teach a practical skill, or simply be a consistent presence in a young man's life.
- Advocate for policy changes by writing to your local representatives about the importance of investing in programs for young men. Draft a letter or email explaining the benefits of national service programs, more male teachers, and tailored education approaches. Use personal stories or community examples to illustrate the potential impact of such policies.
- Support organizations t ...
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