#933 - Brad Wilcox - Why Are Liberal Women Becoming Unhappy?

In exploring the complex realms of love and marriage, contrasting perspectives highlight differing opinions about the foundation and sustenance of matrimonial bonds.

"Eat Pray Love" Idealizes Romantic Relationships Unrealistically

Perfect Bali Relationship Belies Gilbert's Unstable Love Model

Liz Gilbert's "Eat Pray Love" concludes with Gilbert finding what seems to be a fairytale romance in Bali, with a man who embodies the ideals of a storybook partner: he's described as a feminist, a wonderful cook, and a passionate lover. However, the subsequent revelation of Gilbert leaving him for another man whom she identifies as a "soulmate" implies an unstable model of love, challenging the idea of a singular perfect relationship promised in romantic love stories.

"Family First" Approach: Prioritizing Spouse and Children Over Personal Fulfillment For Stability

Brad Wilcox advocates for a "family first" approach to marriage. He believes in prioritizing the well-being of a spouse and children, framing marriage as a relationship that goes beyond mere emotional bonds. It involves building financial security for the family and fostering solidarity between partners.

Recognizes Marriage Involves More Than Emotion, Like Building Financial Security and Solidarity

Wilcox emphasizes marriage as a partnership where both spouses work together to create a stable environment. He mentions that women often appreciate men who are able to provide for the family and who offer protection—a sentiment that aligns with a form of pro-social masculinity. This approach to marriage looks at the long-term aspects beyond the ...

Wilcox addresses the complexities of relying solely on feelings in love and marriage, advocating for a more balanced approach that emphasizes shared values and long-term commitment.

Relying On Feelings For Love and Marriage Can Be Problematic

Wilcox argues that foundations of marriage and love built predominantly on feelings may lead to instability. He suggests that being more discerning about the virtues that make for a good spouse is crucial. The reliance on strong emotional connections as the primary driver for relationships may lead individuals to seek new partners when the initial passion fades, which is often the case in feeling-based relationships.

Feeling-Based Relationships Often Seek New "Soulmates" When Initial Passion Fades

The concept of a "soulmate" with whom one will experience perfect harmony and unending romantic intensity is critiqued as unrealistic. Wilcox believes that such a belief often results in a continuous search for this ideal, leading to a cycle of serial soulmate-seeking when the passion of previous relationships wanes.

Factors Beyond Feelings: Shared Values, Commitment, and "Family First" Predict Long-Term Relationship Success

Wilcox points out that a marriage-focused couple is likely to have a more stable and satisfying relationship when they prioritize shared values, commitment, and family. By not fixating on feelings alone, couples can create a multifaceted relationship that can withstand challenges, including periods of diminished romantic intensity.

Marriage-Focused Couples Prioritizing Family Experience More Stable, Satisfying Relationships

Wilcox indicates that parents who prioritize their family and the marriage institution are less likely to face severe marital issues, even if they're not "feeling it" at ...

Chris Williamson's discussions and studies indicate that political and religious beliefs correlate with happiness, marriage rates, and life satisfaction.

Conservatives: Higher Marriage Rates, Stability, and Life Satisfaction Compared To Liberals

Religion and Marriage Explain Conservative Happiness Premium

Recent studies show that conservatives are generally happier than liberals, with conservative women aged 18 to 40 being about three times as likely to be very happy as compared to liberal counterparts. This "happiness premium" for conservative women is often linked to their higher likelihood of being married and attending religious services regularly. Brad Wilcox and Chris Williamson highlight that conservative women tend to see themselves as capable of controlling their destiny and less likely to feel oppressed, unlike many liberal men who may perceive the world as more oppressive.

Brad Wilcox observes that conservative women not only marry at higher rates but also attend religious services with more regularity compared to their liberal peers. This trend is also reflected in fertility rates, where conservatives average more children per woman than liberals. The discussion implies that a "conservative happiness premium" may exist due to the more resilient nature of conservative or religious communities, especially in facing technological challenges and maintaining stable marriages among the more affluent, educated, and religious.

Liberals Have Lower Marriage Rates and Happiness, Contributing To Lower Life Satisfaction

Causes of Disparity Include Liberals' "Catastrophizing Mindset" Viewing the World As Oppressive and Cultural Devaluation of Traditional Institutions Like Marriage in Progressive Circles

Conversely, liberals—particularly men—tend to have a "catastrophizing mindset," seeing the world as oppressive, which may contribute to lower marriage rates, happiness, and overall life satisfaction. This mindset, coupled with a cultural devaluation of traditional institutions like marriage among progressives, could explain the lower marriage rates and happiness in this group.

Chris Williamson discusses the possibility that increased unhappiness, susceptibility to depression, and lower societal integration among liberals might be influencing their lower marriage rates and life satisfaction. The children of conservatives and religious people are viewed as contributing more to the next generation in comparison to the children of liberals and secular individuals, potentially shapi ...