Podcasts > Modern Wisdom > #916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

By Chris Williamson

On this episode of the Modern Wisdom podcast, Freya India discusses how therapy culture has emerged as a potent force, particularly among young women. India explores how this secular form of self-exploration now fills a role traditionally occupied by religion, offering belonging and a sense of purpose.

However, India also raises concerns about therapy culture's influence. She argues it encourages the medicalization of ordinary human experiences and frames romantic partners as obstacles to personal growth. India warns that the inward focus of therapy culture may prevent individuals from fully engaging with life's complexities, fostering isolation and hindering relationships.

#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

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#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

1-Page Summary

Therapy Culture Overtaking Traditional Religion

Freya India discusses how therapy culture has become a dominant force among the youth, especially young women, replacing the role traditionally filled by religion in providing belonging and a sense of purpose. While young women are increasingly moving away from organized religion, therapy culture's secular practices like positive affirmations and self-exploration provide an alternative form of comfort and community.

Pathologizing Normal Life Experiences

India argues that young women have come to view their entire lives through the lens of therapy culture, routinely categorizing problems and experiences as medical or psychological issues rather than ordinary human experiences. She notes the increasing use of therapeutic language like "attachment styles" and "trauma" in everyday conversation to pathologize normal emotions and struggles.

Gendered Impacts on Women

India highlights concerns that therapy culture may exacerbate tendencies for women to ruminate, encouraging endless analysis of issues instead of actionable steps. She criticizes the way therapy culture discourages vulnerability and dependence, traits historically valued in relationships, labeling them as weaknesses.

According to India, therapy culture often frames partners as barriers to women's "healing" and "mental health," pushing them towards self-love in isolation rather than addressing issues in relationships. She warns that this mindset may prevent women from benefitting from constructive criticism and hinder relationship growth.

Decline of Traditional Guidance and Rise of Online Influence

The discussion explores how the breakdown of traditional support networks like mentors and religion has left a void that therapy culture fills, especially for young women lacking adult guidance. Social media platforms are seen as reinforcing and normalizing therapeutic worldviews, while also enabling self-diagnosis and pathologization of normal experiences.

Risks of Excessive Self-Focus and Avoidance

Williamson and India express concerns that therapy culture fosters excessive introspection, preventing individuals from engaging with life's complexities. They suggest it may lead to self-labeling like "anxiously attached," hindering growth and promoting permanent self-analysis over real relationships. Therapy culture's inward focus could also cause people to view others as obstacles rather than support.

Additionally, they raise alarms about youth engaging in risky online behaviors like OnlyFans due to lack of adequate guidance, mentioning how online influences and relaxed parenting may increase vulnerability to harmful trends.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Therapy culture can complement rather than replace traditional religion, offering tools for mental health that are compatible with religious beliefs.
  • The use of therapeutic language can help individuals better understand and articulate their feelings, leading to more effective communication and self-awareness.
  • Therapy culture encourages emotional intelligence and self-care, which can be empowering for women and lead to healthier relationships.
  • Therapy can help individuals identify unhealthy relationship patterns and encourage them to seek partners who support their well-being.
  • Online platforms can provide access to mental health resources and communities for those who may not have access to traditional support systems.
  • Introspection is a valuable tool for personal growth, and therapy culture can provide strategies for balancing self-reflection with external engagement.
  • Engaging in online platforms like OnlyFans can be a conscious choice and form of empowerment for some individuals, rather than a result of inadequate guidance or therapy culture influence.

Actionables

  • You can create a "relationship gratitude journal" where you regularly note down positive interactions and dependencies with others, which can help counteract the tendency to view relationships as barriers to personal growth. By focusing on the positive aspects of your relationships and the support you receive, you'll be more likely to appreciate interdependence and collaborative growth, rather than isolating self-love.
  • Start a "purpose exploration group" with friends or community members to discuss and share various sources of meaning beyond individual therapy narratives. This could involve meeting regularly to explore literature, philosophy, community service, or spiritual practices that offer different perspectives on finding purpose and belonging. The diversity of views can enrich your understanding of personal development within the context of community and shared experiences.
  • Engage in a "digital detox challenge" where you limit your social media usage to specific times of the day or week, focusing instead on in-person interactions and activities that foster direct engagement with others. This can help reduce the influence of online therapy culture and encourage you to develop coping strategies and support systems that are rooted in real-world relationships and experiences.

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#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

The Rise and Nature of Therapy Culture

Freya India brings attention to a significant cultural shift where therapy culture is becoming a dominant force among the youth, particularly young women, taking over the role that traditional religion used to fill in providing comfort, belonging, and a sense of purpose.

Therapy Culture Replaces Traditional Religion For Youth

India notes that for the first time in history, young women are less religious than young men, a strong indication of the move away from organized religion. Therapy culture, especially among young women, has begun to fill the void left by religion. This new cultural paradigm mimics religious practices but translates them into secular equivalents: positive affirmations act as a substitute for prayer, and instead of seeking salvation, individuals are encouraged to embark on a healing journey. Intrusive thoughts are reframed rather than resisted as temptation in a religious context.

Therapy culture seemingly offers the comfort and community found in religion, but without the demands or restrictions on personal freedom that traditional religion, such as Christianity, might impose. It is presented as a more manageable approach that provides security and faith through self-exploration and authenticity rather than self-sacrifice and adherence to communal doctrines.

Therapy Culture Dominates Young People's Worldview

Young People Pathologize Normal Life Experiences and Emotions

India argues that young women, in particular, have adjusted their lenses to view their entire lives, relationships, and emotional experiences through the norms of therapy culture. Problems and experiences, irrespective of their nature, are often categorized as medical or psychological issues, rather than being seen as ordinary elements of human life. This medicalization extends to the way individuals speak, with an increasing reliance on therapeutic language, incorporating terms like "attachment styles" and "trauma" into everyday conversation.

Therapeutic Language Replaces Ordinary Hurt and Struggle

India notes that young girls often use the precepts of therapy culture as a means of exerting control over their lives ...

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The Rise and Nature of Therapy Culture

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Therapy culture" is a term used to describe a societal shift towards prioritizing self-care, emotional well-being, and psychological growth. It involves a widespread embrace of therapeutic practices and language in everyday life, where individuals seek comfort, validation, and guidance through self-exploration and emotional expression. This cultural phenomenon often replaces traditional religious beliefs and practices, offering a more personalized and flexible approach to addressing emotional needs and life challenges. Therapy culture can influence how individuals perceive and navigate their experiences, encouraging them to view personal struggles and relationships through a psychological lens and seek solutions within a therapeutic framework.
  • In the comparison between therapy culture and traditional religion, therapy culture is described as filling the void left by organized religion for many young people, especially women. While therapy culture offers comfort and community similar to religion, it emphasizes self-exploration and authenticity over adherence to communal doctrines. This shift suggests a move towards seeking personal growth and healing through individual reflection rather than traditional religious practices.
  • Pathologizing normal life experiences and emotions means interpreting everyday feelings and events as signs of mental or emotional disorders. This involves viewing common struggles or emotions through a clinical or diagnostic lens, attributing medical or psychological labels to them. It can lead individuals to perceive typical challenges as abnormal conditions, potentially impacting how they understand and cope with their experiences. This process involves applying therapeutic language and concepts to ordinary aspects of life, framing them as issues that require professional intervention or treatment.
  • In contemporary society, the use of therapeutic language in everyday conversations involves incorporating psychological terms and concepts into discussions about emotions, relationships, and personal experiences. This trend reflects a cultural shift towards viewing common life challenges through a mental health lens, where individuals may describe their feelings and behaviors using clinical terminology like "attachment styles" or "trauma." The normalization of therapeutic language can lead to the pathologization of ordinary experiences, as individuals may interpret ...

Counterarguments

  • Therapy culture may not be replacing religion but coexisting with it, as many individuals still maintain religious beliefs alongside therapeutic practices.
  • The decline in religiosity among young women could be due to broader societal changes rather than the rise of therapy culture.
  • Positive affirmations and reframing thoughts can be seen as complementary to religious practices rather than replacements.
  • The concept of a healing journey is not inherently secular and can be part of many religious traditions.
  • Therapy culture may not offer the same depth of community and shared meaning that traditional religions have historically provided.
  • Viewing life through the lens of therapy culture could be a response to increased awareness of mental health rather than an over-pathologization of normal experiences.
  • The use of therapeutic language may reflect a greater societal emphasis on emotional intelligence and mental health literacy.
  • Categorizing emotions and experiences in therapeutic terms does not necessarily lead to pathologization but can be a way to understand and address them more effectively.
  • The traditional language of hurt and struggle may still be ...

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#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

The Gendered Impacts of Therapy Culture

Freya India sheds light on the potential negative effects of therapy culture on women, particularly young women, in relation to their mental health and personal growth within relationships.

Therapy Culture May Be Harmful for Young Women

India discusses how therapy culture may exacerbate the natural tendency for women, especially anxious young girls, to ruminate.

Young Women Ruminate More, Therapy Culture Exacerbates

She expresses that therapy culture is particularly harmful to women because it encourages the disposition to ruminate, which is more natural for women. Co-rumination, where women dwell on problems with friends, is worsened by platforms like Reddit that serve as "rumination machines." India notes that young women can become caught up in endlessly analyzing problems, like attachment styles and toxic relationships, instead of taking actionable steps.

Therapy Culture Labels Dependence, Vulnerability, and Emotional Responsiveness as Weaknesses

India criticizes current therapy culture, as seen on platforms like TikTok, which discourages traits such as vulnerability, dependence, and emotional responsiveness by labeling them as weaknesses. In contrast to historic values that encouraged giving and dependence in relationships, therapy culture advises women against being needy and promotes independence. Pathologizing dependence while glorifying independence, she explains, misunderstands that depending on a partner can also lead to self-discovery.

Therapy Culture Undermines Young Women's Relationships and Self-Development

Therapy culture has implications for the ways young women perceive their relationships and their journey of self-development.

Therapy Culture Frames Partners As Barriers to Women's "Healing" and "Mental Health"

India describes how therapy culture, along with certain feminist messaging online, instructs young women who desire romantic relationships and dependency that these natural inclinations are problems, pushing them towards self-love and healing in isolation. She articulates how this often results in young women punishing themselves for desiring a partner and for being emotionally sensitive.

Therapy Culture Avoids Criticism and Growth in Relationships

Furthermore, ...

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The Gendered Impacts of Therapy Culture

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Co-rumination is a behavior where individuals excessively discuss and dwell on their problems with others, often without seeking solutions. In the context of young women, co-rumination can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress. It is a process that can reinforce negative thought patterns and hinder effective problem-solving. This behavior can be intensified by platforms like social media, where constant discussion and analysis of issues can occur.
  • Pathologizing dependence while glorifying independence means labeling dependency as a negative trait while promoting self-sufficiency as a positive attribute. This concept suggests that society may view relying on others as a weakness, while emphasizing individual autonomy and self-reliance as strengths. It highlights a cultural shift towards valuing independence over interdependence in personal relationships. This dynamic can impact how individuals perceive their need for others and influence their approach to emotional connections.
  • Feminist messaging online can influence young women by promoting empowerment, challenging traditional gender norms, and advocating for equality. This messaging often addresses issues like body image, consent, and gender roles, aiming to create a more inclusive and equitable society. Online feminist communities provide spaces for discussion, support, and activism, shaping how young women perceive themselves, their relationships, and societal expectations. These platforms can impact young women's views on independence, self-worth, and empowerment within various aspects of their lives.
  • Therapy culture encourages young women to focus on self-love and healing in isolation by promoting the idea that individuals should prioritize their own emotional well-being and growth independently before seeking or relying on external relationships for validation or support. This approach suggests that by cultivating a strong sense of self-love and healing on their own, individuals can develop a healthier foundation for engaging in relationships from a position of strength and self-awareness.
  • In the context of therapy culture, partners being viewed as barriers to women's "healing" and "mental health" suggests that some messaging promotes the idea that romantic relationships and dependency can hinder a woman's personal growth and well-being. This perspective encourages women to prioritize self-love and healing in isolation, sometimes leading to self-blame for desiring a partner or being emotionally sensitive. It can create a belief that relationships are obstacles to individual progress, pushing individuals towards independence rather than interdependence for personal development. This narrative may discourage women from seeking or maintaining relationships, fearing that partners could impede their mental health journey.
  • Understanding the balance between walking away from disrespectful behavior and overthinking in relationships involves recognizing when to set boundaries for self-respect while also being mindful not to excessively dwell on perceived threa ...

Counterarguments

  • Therapy culture can provide tools for self-awareness and emotional intelligence, which can empower young women to better understand and manage their thoughts and feelings.
  • Encouraging independence does not necessarily pathologize dependence; it can also promote healthy boundaries and self-sufficiency, which are important for personal growth.
  • Therapy culture often emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and emotional responsiveness as strengths, not weaknesses, fostering deeper connections and authenticity in relationships.
  • Therapy can help individuals recognize when a relationship is genuinely harmful, guiding them to make informed decisions about their well-being rather than staying in toxic situations.
  • Constructive criticism is often addressed in therapy, with the goal of helping individuals learn how to give and receive feedback in a h ...

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#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

Factors Contributing To the Spread of Therapy Culture

The discussion on therapy culture reveals a growing trend, as individuals look for guidance amid a decline in traditional support structures and community, further amplified by the pervasive influence of social media.

Breakdown of Traditional Guidance and Community

The guests reflect on the changing landscape of support and guidance for younger generations, particularly Gen Z.

Young Women Lack Mentors and Support Networks

Freya India suggests that the lack of adult guidance has led young women to turn to online platforms for personal advice. The absence of mentors who intimately know these young women has resulted in foregoing traditional community support in favor of seeking online assistance.

Religion's Retreat Creates Void Filled by Therapy Culture

The retreat of religion from public and personal life is discussed as leaving young women particularly bereft of community and belonging. India suggests that the decline of religious affiliation among Gen Z may intensify the search for belonging, a void that therapy culture could be filling.

The Influence of Social Media and Online Spaces

Analysis of the role of online environments and social media reinforces the notion that these platforms are shaping young people's perspectives and experiences in relation to therapy culture.

Chris Williamson and Freya India talk about how young people, especially young women, are constantly exposed to therapy language and advice on platforms like TikTok. India notes the sensational nature of engagement-focused platforms, where "trauma-informed therapists" create content that introduces and normalizes a therapeutic viewpoint.

Online Spaces Encourage Self-Diagnosis and Pathologizing Normal Experiences

The discussion highlights the dangers of online trends t ...

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Factors Contributing To the Spread of Therapy Culture

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The search for guidance online may not necessarily be due to a lack of mentors but could be a reflection of the modern preference for digital communication and the convenience of accessing diverse perspectives.
  • Religion may be declining in some areas, but spirituality and alternative forms of community are on the rise, offering different types of support and belonging that may not be captured in traditional religious metrics.
  • While social media exposes users to therapy trends, it also provides access to a wealth of positive mental health resources and support groups that can be beneficial.
  • The therapeutic worldview popular on platforms like TikTok could also empower young people to understand and articulate their feelings better, leading to earlier intervention and support.
  • Self-diagnosis o ...

Actionables

  • You can create a peer mentoring group by connecting with others in your field through social media or local community boards. Start by identifying individuals who share similar career goals or interests, and propose regular virtual or in-person meetups to discuss challenges, share resources, and offer support. This can help build a support network that compensates for the lack of traditional mentorship structures.
  • Explore local interest-based clubs or volunteer organizations to find a sense of community offline. Look for book clubs, sports teams, gardening groups, or volunteer opportunities that align with your interests. Engaging in these activities can provide a sense of belonging and community that might be missing from your life.
  • Develop a critical media literacy habit by regularly reflecting on th ...

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#916 - Freya India - Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever

Potential Risks and Drawbacks of Therapy Culture

Freya India and Chris Williamson discuss the potential risks and drawbacks of modern therapy culture, noting that it often results in excessive self-focus and may lead both minors and adults to avoid real-world challenges.

Therapy Culture Fosters Excessive Self-Focus and Avoidance of Real-World Challenges

Healing and Self-Development: Control and Avoidance Over Growth

India and Williamson discuss how therapy culture could result in individuals becoming overly introspective, ignoring real-world challenges, and too focused on self-analysis. They express concerns about young people delaying marriage and children in the pursuit of perfect control over mental health or productivity routines. They critique that therapy culture may foster an unhealthy self-focus and avoidance of life's complexities.

India notes that young girls might think they have a disorder, encouraging a mindset that shuts down natural reactions and avoids dealing with real relationship challenges. Williamson suggests that adopting therapeutic labels could deny individuals the opportunity to change patterns they don’t like within themselves. The guests agree that therapy culture might lead to self-labeling, such as being "anxiously attached," preventing personal growth and encouraging identifying with a condition rather than experiencing emotions in the moment.

India and Williamson touch upon therapy culture promoting solitude and avoiding distractions, leading to a lifestyle that neglects dealing with real-world relationship dynamics and challenges. India criticizes therapy culture for lacking an endpoint and suggests that its permanent nature leads individuals to avoid challenging situations instead of growing from them.

Therapy Culture Sees Others As Obstacles, Not Support

The conversation implies that therapy culture can encourage an inward focus to such an extent that other people become seen as distractions or annoyances in personal ambition and self-development. This can cause both men and women to adopt self-optimization behaviors that view others as obstacles rather than support.

India discusses how therapy culture may turn constructive feedback or challenges from partners or friends into perceived offenses, preventing people from viewing these figures as sources of support and growth. The discussion continues as they address the concept that therapy culture could be teaching individuals, especially young people, to view others as hindrances to their self-development.

Increase in Minors Engaging In Risky or Exploitative Online Behaviors

India and Williamson express concern about the lack of adult guidance for youth, suggesting it could lead to harmful trends such as children becoming addicted to pornography and underage girls using false identification to post explicit content on OnlyFans. They mention that a shift in role models from influencers like Zoella to those promoting OnlyFans indicates a lack of proper mentorship or warnings about potential risks.

India talks about the dangers of young people, espe ...

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Potential Risks and Drawbacks of Therapy Culture

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Therapy culture encompasses the societal trend of prioritizing self-improvement through therapy and self-help practices. It involves a heavy focus on individual well-being and personal growth, sometimes to the extent of excessive self-analysis and introspection. However, critics argue that this culture can lead to an overemphasis on the self, potentially causing individuals to avoid real-world challenges and relationships. This can result in a lack of resilience and an inability to cope with difficulties outside of the self-improvement sphere.
  • Excessive self-focus in the context of therapy culture can lead individuals to become overly introspective, focusing too much on their own thoughts and emotions. This intense self-analysis may result in a preoccupation with personal issues, potentially causing individuals to neglect real-world challenges and interactions. Avoidance of real-world challenges occurs when individuals prioritize their internal struggles over engaging with external situations or difficulties, hindering personal growth and the development of essential life skills. This phenomenon can create a cycle where individuals retreat into self-reflection instead of confronting and overcoming the obstacles present in their everyday lives.
  • Therapy culture, in modern society, can lead individuals to excessively focus on their own emotions, thoughts, and personal growth, sometimes to the detriment of engaging with real-world challenges and relationships. This focus on self-analysis and improvement may result in individuals becoming overly introspective, potentially avoiding facing external difficulties and complexities. The emphasis on self-help and self-improvement within therapy culture can sometimes lead to a continuous pursuit of personal betterment without clear endpoints, potentially hindering individuals from confronting and growing through real-life obstacles. This culture may encourage individuals to label themselves with psychological terms, potentially limiting their ability to address and change negative patterns or behaviors effectively.
  • Therapy culture's impact on youth trends involves concerns about minors engaging in risky online behaviors due to a lack of adult guidance, such as addiction to explicit content and exploitative activities on platforms like OnlyFans. Additionally, the absence of proper mentorship and warnings about potential risks can lead to vulnerable youth being influenced by harmful online content. The discussion also touches on how the shift in role models and the lack of protective authority from traditional figures like fathers can leave young people exposed to negative influences both online and in real life. Overall, the influence of therapy culture on youth trends raises issues regarding the protection, guidance, and boundaries necessary to navigate the challenges effectively.
  • Minors engaging in risky or exploitative online behaviors can involve activities like accessing inappropriate content, sharing personal information with strangers, or participating in online challenges that pose physical or emotional risks. This behavior can be influenced by factors such as lack of supervision, seeking validation or attention online, or being unaware of the potential dangers of certain online activities. Minors may also be drawn to risky behaviors due to peer pressure, curiosity, or a desire for social acceptance in online communities. Parents and guardians play a crucial role in educating minors about online safety, setting boundaries, and monitoring their online activities to prevent them from engaging in harmful behaviors.
  • Lack of adult guidance for youth can result from various factors such as busy schedules, absent parents, or a lack of positive role models. This absence of guidance can leave young individuals vulnerable to making risky decisions or being influenced by harmful behaviors. Without proper adult supervision and mentorship, young people may struggle to navigate challenges and may engage in activities that could have negative consequences. Adequate adult guidance is crucial for providing support, setting boundaries, and helping youth make informed choices as they grow and develop.
  • The vulnerability of youth to harmful influences stems from a ...

Counterarguments

  • Therapy culture can provide essential support and coping mechanisms for individuals facing mental health challenges, and not all self-focus is negative if it leads to better mental health and well-being.
  • Introspection and self-analysis are valuable tools for personal growth and understanding oneself, which can lead to healthier relationships and more effective problem-solving in real-world challenges.
  • Delaying marriage and children can be a responsible choice for individuals who prioritize personal stability and mental health before taking on such commitments.
  • Therapy culture can encourage individuals to seek help and support, which can be beneficial in navigating life's complexities rather than avoiding them.
  • Recognizing and naming disorders or mental health conditions can be empowering and the first step toward seeking help and improving one's quality of life.
  • Therapeutic labels, when used correctly, can facilitate communication about one's experiences and needs, leading to better support from others and more targeted self-improvement strategies.
  • Therapy can teach healthy boundaries and self-care, which includes the ability to spend time alone and focus on personal growth without necessarily neglecting relationships.
  • Therapy often has goals and milestones, and a good therapeutic process includes developing resilience and learning to face and grow from challenging situations.
  • Therapy can enhance empathy and interpersonal skills, helping individuals to see others as partners in their growth rather than obstacles.
  • Constructive feedback can be integrated into a therapeutic framework, allowing individuals to use it as a tool for personal and relational growth.
  • Therapy can help individuals understand the role of others in their self-development journey, fostering interdependence rather than isolation.
  • ...

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