#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy

Dwayne, also known as Dry Creek Dewayne, shares his profound transformation from an angry, high-strung individual to a calm and introspective person. Through self-realization, Dewayne embarked on a journey of self-acceptance, learning from his experiences and the lessons working with horses has taught him about emotional growth.

Dwayne's shift from an angry, high-strung younger self to a calm, introspective older self

Dewayne candidly reflects on his past self, acknowledging a time in his life when he was tightly wound and temperamental. Admitting to being under a lot of stress for years, Dewayne contrasts his former self with his current state of relaxation. About five years ago, Dewayne discovered how to manage his temper and stress, leading to a significant change in his behavior.

Dewayne's journey to self-control came at a critical moment. He describes lying in bed one night, feeling the onset of a heart attack, yet choosing not to wake his wife, accepting the severity of his condition. His wake-up call came the next morning, realizing he couldn't continue with his anger, which even though it was not expressed in abuse, it still created a not-so-pleasant environment for his family.

Dwayne's realization that his anger and aggression were harming his relationships and health, leading him to make deliberate changes

The consequences of his temperament forced Dewayne to take stock of his life and make deliberate changes – he distanced himself from people, including family members who brought negativity into his life, stopped engaging with stress-inducing news, and adopted healthier habits. This proactive approach to eliminating sources of anger helped him gradually get a grip on his emotions.

Dewayne acknowledged that his anger was unprofitable and counterproductive, particularly during confrontations in his line of work in law enforcement. He understood the need to put an end to harboring anger, recognizing it led to poor decisions and was detrimental to his well-being.

Dwayne's newfound appreciation for small, mundane victories and the importance of being gentle with oneself

Dewayne shares an experience of preparing to work with a horse and realizing he wasn't in the right emotional state. Instead of forcing the interaction, he chose to wait until he was ready. This incident highlighted for Dewayne the importance of acknowledging when to step back – that sometimes the victory is in avoiding a negative outcome rather than striving for a grand success.

Dwayne's understanding that growth often comes from avoiding mistakes rather than achieving grand successes

By recognizing the significance of avoiding mistakes, Dewayne has come to appreciate the small, mundane victories in life. His approach illustrates that progress can often be subtler than commonly believed and that being gentle with ...

Dewayne discusses the profound importance that fatherhood and masculinity hold in shaping society, outlining his core beliefs and personal approaches to parenting, which underscore these roles.

Dwayne's belief that strong, responsible fathers are the foundation of a healthy society

Dewayne outlines a chain of dependencies where the strength of the country relies on the integrity of the churches, which are supported by the solidity of families. He posits that these families, in turn, are underpinned by the marriages at their center, all of which hinge on the man’s role as husband and father. Dewayne suggests that societal failures can often be traced back to a lack of leadership, discipline, and provision by fathers and husbands.

Dwayne's view that the failure of fathers and husbands has led to the decline of families, churches, and the country as a whole

He argues that the current lapses observed within the country are a direct consequence of deficient fatherhood or the absence of a father figure altogether. Dewayne believes that the future of society is irrevocably tied to the efficacy of the father's role.

Dwayne's approach to raising his own children, including setting strict boundaries and expectations

Reflecting on his patriarchal upbringing, Dewayne describes applying similar values and dynamics in hoisting his own children. He recalls being different and quite temperamental, which may have shaped his approach to establishing firm boundaries and expectations.

Dwayne's explanation of his rationale for carefully vetting his daughters' potential suitors and protecting them from emotional harm

Dewayne recounts denying his sons-in-law the opportunity to contact his daughters for years until he was convinced they had matured into men capable of responsibility in marriage. He details the measures he took to vet suitors, including using intimidation to convey the gravity of their intentions toward his daughters.

Dwayne's emphasis on the importance of honesty, respect, and discipline in ...

Dry Creek Dewayne sheds light on the complexities of communication between men and women, drawing from his personal experiences and observations. He also shares his perspective on relationship dynamics and advice for men on how to forge better relationships with women.

Dwayne's perspective on how men and women often struggle to understand each other's thought processes and emotional needs

Dewayne discusses the challenges in communication between men and women, likening them to the different communication styles between humans and horses. He shares an anecdote from his marriage of almost 34 years, where messages between him and his wife are sometimes lost in translation, underscoring that understanding one another is an ongoing process.

Dwayne's view that women should be treated as "special" rather than as equals, and the importance of effective communication in relationships

Dewayne criticizes the feminist movement by asking why women would want to be considered equal to men when, in his view, they are inherently "special and wonderful." He believes treating women as equals degrades them, implying that they should be regarded as special and treated with particular care. Dwayne also emphasizes the need for effective communication in relationships, advocating for men to seek clarity by asking and listening when they do not understand what women express.

Dwayne's advice for young men on how to better understand and respect women

Dewayne emphasizes the importance of listening to women, suggesting that they often need someone to help them organize their thoughts rather than offer premature solutions. He also advises men to communicate their needs assertively yet respectfully, without aggression, vulnerability, or resentment.

Dwayne's encouragement for men to listen, be patient, and communicate their feelings and needs without aggression or resentment

He underscores the value of patience in listening to and communicating with women. Dewayne encourages young men to understand that women may not be seeking immediate solutions but rather a thoughtful listener.

Dwayne's recognition of the challenges many ...

Dwayne, known as Dry Creek Dewayne, underscores the critical impact of father figures and mentors in guiding young men.

Dwayne's emphasis on the importance of positive male role models and mentors in shaping the next generation

Dwayne's reflection on the influential figures in his own life, including his father and older colleagues, and the lessons he learned from them

Dwayne pays homage to his father, citing his unparalleled honesty, and how profoundly his father’s integrity affected his own principles and beliefs. Additionally, he expresses reverence for a cowboy from Kansas he worked with, praising the man’s honesty and the positive effect he had on Dwayne's life. These personal and intimate connections, according to Dwayne, are more influential in terms of mentorship and teaching life's character lessons than any impressions left by famous individuals.

Dwayne's desire to serve as a surrogate patriarch and mentor for young men who lack strong father figures

Dwayne runs a horsemanship school, which he characterizes as more than a place to learn about horses — it is a springboard for life itself, highlighting its role in mentorship. Through his program, Dwayne aims to provide young people with a solid foundation for life, re ...

Dwayne's reflections on life emphasize the importance of finding balance in our personal needs with the external demands of work and relationships, and ultimately finding a sense of inner peace and self-worth.

Dwayne's struggle to find balance between his personal needs and the demands of his work and relationships

Dwayne discusses the importance of balance in life, including in raising children and marriage, pointing out that problems often stem from being out of balance, whether one is being too demanding or too permissive. He recounts an incident where, despite breaking three ribs, he continued working after taking aspirin and embarking on a four-hour horse ride. This story underscores Dwayne's dedication but also highlights his view that everyone's notion of balance is unique.

Dwayne's realization that he must protect his own sense of self-worth and inner peace, rather than constantly seeking validation or acceptance from others

Dry Creek Dewayne shares his belief of keeping "the main thing, the main thing" and questions the definition of 'enough,' suggesting that contentment comes from an internal place rather than external achievements or approval. This realization extends to rejecting the idea that one’s sense of self-worth should be tied to the opinions of others or external achievements like financial success or physical appearance.

Through his reflections, Dewayne conveys that he doesn't want to lose himself in business or the pursuit of success, recognizing that he doesn't need external validation to preserve his self-worth and peace. He has arrived at a place where others' opinions do not impact his self-view and stresses the importance of liking oneself over seeking appreciation from others.

Dwayne's philosophy of making the most of each day and finding contentment in simple pleasures

Dwayne advocates for a life philosophy that values daily contentment in simple pleasures over the pursuit of 'hustle culture.' He criticizes the relentless chase for material success and underscores the satisfaction that comes from serving and improving the lives of others. He believes that real wealth is not about outward appearances but about the value one adds to others’ lives.

Dwayne's description of an "id ...