Side Stories: Toying with Turtles
On this episode of Last Podcast On The Left, the hosts explore a range of unusual stories and conspiracy theories. From discussing killer whales ramming boats off the coast of Spain to the potential benefits of nitrates in cured meats, they delve into bizarre animal behavior and unexpected health connections.
The hosts also share obscure historical insights about eunuchs and a peculiar conspiracy theory regarding a simulated sun. Additionally, they recount a disturbing murder-for-hire plot and share personal anecdotes, such as considering adopting a tortoise and attending a UFO convention. Expect a mix of the strange, the unsettling, and the absurd in this eclectic episode.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the May 23, 2024 episode of the Last Podcast On The Left
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1-Page Summary
Bizarre animal/nature news and stories
Hosts explore unusual developments such as killer whales repeatedly ramming boats off the coast of Spain. According to experts, this aggressive behavior may be a learned tactic taught by one female orca.
On a different note, the hosts mention the potential benefit of cured meats containing nitrates, which could help combat microplastics in humans—an advantage not afforded to turtles, who cannot consume such foods.
Obscure historical/conspiracy topics
Henry Zebrowski enlightens listeners about eunuchs, castrated men who historically served as guards. He explains that eunuchs had their testicles removed, not their penises, and often grew unusually tall—some reaching 7 feet. Their tendency to gain weight easily likely contributed to their intimidating presence as guards.
Zebrowski also discusses a peculiar conspiracy theory held by a coworker, who believes the sun has been replaced by a simulation. The coworker cites sunflowers facing away from the sun and differences in brightness as evidence of a fake sun, claiming the real sun is either moving away or was secretly replaced by the government.
Notable crime stories
A disturbing murder-for-hire plot involved three sisters attempting to hire a hitman outside a courthouse to kill one sister's abusive husband. Zebrowski emphasizes the difficulties in finding a reliable hitman, as law enforcement often poses as one. Their failed plot exemplifies the risks of outsourcing crime.
The speakers' personal lives and interests
Ed Larson considers getting a tortoise as a pet after his dog's passing, drawn to their longevity and friendly personalities. However, Zebrowski expresses skepticism about caring for such a long-lived animal.
They're also excited to attend the "Contact in the Desert" UFO convention, where Larson will perform stand-up, and Zebrowski will serve on a UFO discussion panel. Eager to fully experience the event, Zebrowski hopes to be recognized by George Norrie.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Eunuchs in historical contexts were often castrated males who served in various roles, including as guards in royal courts and harems. The removal of their testicles before puberty led to unique physical characteristics, such as potential height increase due to the lack of testosterone. This physical trait, combined with their loyalty and perceived trustworthiness, made them desirable candidates for guarding important figures. The practice of employing eunuchs as guards was prevalent in many ancient civilizations, including in China, the Ottoman Empire, and various European courts.
- Ed Larson considering getting a tortoise as a pet:
Tortoises are known for their long lifespan, often living for several decades. They are generally low-maintenance pets compared to other animals. Their friendly and docile nature makes them appealing companions for some people. Larson's interest in getting a tortoise could stem from a desire for a pet that can be a long-term companion.
- "Contact in the Desert" is an annual UFO conference held in California, known for attracting UFO enthusiasts, researchers, and speakers. The event features lectures, panel discussions, workshops, and other activities related to UFO sightings, extraterrestrial life, and conspiracy theories. Attendees have the opportunity to engage with like-minded individuals, listen to experts in the field, and explore various perspectives on UFO phenomena. The convention aims to provide a platform for open dialogue and exploration of the mysteries surrounding unidentified flying objects.
- George Noory is a well-known radio host who has been involved in discussing paranormal and conspiracy topics, including UFOs, on his show "Coast to Coast AM." Wanting to be recognized by George Noory at the UFO convention suggests that Zebrowski values acknowledgment from a prominent figure in the field of paranormal and extraterrestrial phenomena. This recognition could potentially boost Zebrowski's credibility or visibility within the community interested in UFOs and related subjects. George Noory's acknowledgment could also lead to further opportunities for Zebrowski in the realm of paranormal investigations or discussions.
Counterarguments
- Killer whales in Spain may be learning aggressive behavior from one female orca.
- Counterargument: It's possible that the aggressive behavior of the orcas is not learned from one individual but is a response to environmental stressors or changes in their ecosystem.
- Cured meats with nitrates could help combat microplastics in humans but are harmful to turtles.
- Alternative Point of View: While nitrates in cured meats may have some benefits, the overall health risks associated with high consumption of processed meats might outweigh the potential benefits of combating microplastics.
- Eunuchs historically had their testicles removed, grew unusually tall, and were intimidating guards.
- Counterargument: The growth patterns of eunuchs could be more complex, involving not just the absence of testosterone but also other factors such as nutrition and genetics.
- A conspiracy theory suggests the sun has been replaced by a simulation.
- Counterargument: There is no scientific evidence to support the claim that the sun has been replaced by a simulation; natural variations in the sun's appearance and behavior can be explained by well-understood astronomical phenomena.
- Three sisters failed in a murder-for-hire plot due to difficulties in finding a reliable hitman.
- Alternative Point of View: The moral and ethical implications of attempting murder-for-hire are significant, and the focus on the reliability of a hitman overlooks the broader issue of the criminality and immorality of the act itself.
- Ed Larson considers getting a tortoise as a pet for its longevity and friendly nature.
- Counterargument: While tortoises can be long-lived and friendly, they also require specific care and environments that can be challenging and expensive to maintain properly.
- Larson and Zebrowski are excited to attend the "Contact in the Desert" UFO convention.
- Alternative Point of View: Skeptics might argue that such conventions are based more on entertainment and speculation than on scientific evidence and that attendees should maintain a critical perspective.
- Zebrowski hopes to be recognized by George Norrie at the UFO convention.
- Counterargument: Seeking recognition from a celebrity or authority figure in the UFO community may not be a meaningful goal for some, who might argue that the focus should be on the exchange of ideas rather than personal recognition.
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Bizarre animal/nature news and stories
In an intriguing segment on unusual nature-related happenings, the hosts explore stories ranging from killer whale behavior to the unexpected potential benefits of eating cured meats.
Killer whales attacking boats
One particularly strange and alarming development in recent years involves killer whales off the coast of Spain. Since 2020, there have been reports of killer whales repeatedly ramming and disabling boats, particularly targeting yachts and sailboats. Experts suggest this aggressive behavior may be learned, with speculation that one female orca might be teaching the rest of her pod this dangerous tactic.
Potential benefits of eating cured meats
Moving from the seas to the dinner table, the hosts discuss an unexpected potential benefit of eating cured and smoked meats. Th ...
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Bizarre animal/nature news and stories
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- The contrast highlighted in the text is about the potential benefits of nitrates found in cured meats for humans in combating microplastics in the body, versus turtles who cannot consume such foods and ...
Counterarguments
- The behavior of killer whales attacking boats could be a response to stress or disturbances in their environment rather than a learned aggressive tactic.
- It is also possible that the killer whales are not intentionally attacking boats but are instead engaging with them out of curiosity or play, which can be misinterpreted as aggression.
- The idea that nitrates in cured meats could combat microplastics in the human body is speculative and not supported by robust scientific evidence.
- The consumption of cured meats is associated with various health risks, such as increased chances of cancer and heart disease, which might outweigh any unproven benefits related to microplastics.
- The comparison between humans' a ...
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Obscure historical/conspiracy topics
Henry Zebrowski delves into intriguing aspects of history and conspiracy, shedding light on subjects such as the ancient role of eunuchs and theories about the sun being replaced by a simulation.
History of eunuchs
Zebrowski enlightens listeners about the historical purpose eunuchs served and clarifies common misconceptions regarding their castration.
Castrated men, known as eunuchs, were often used as guards in ancient times
Zebrowski explains that eunuchs, men who have been castrated, often served as guards in ancient societies. He emphasizes that castration involved the removal of the testicles rather than the penis, which is essential for urination. He mentions that young boys who were castrated sometimes grew unusually tall—some cases report eunuchs growing to a height of around seven feet.
Additionally, Zebrowski points out that eunuchs tended to gain weight more easily than other men, especially as they aged. They often appeared girthy, which could make them intimidating, a likely reason they were employed as guards.
Conspiracy theories about the sun
A coworker of one of the hosts is at the center of a conspiracy theory regarding the sun and its authenticity in our sky.
A coworker of one of the hosts believes the sun has been replaced by a simulation
Zebrowski talks about a peculiar belief held by a coworker, who seems to be a "normal seeming 40-something grown man" working in te ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Obscure historical/conspiracy topics
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Eunuchs in ancient societies were often castrated men who served various roles, including as guards, administrators, and advisors to royalty. Castration typically involved the removal of the testicles, not the penis, and eunuchs were valued for their loyalty and perceived lack of personal ambitions. They were known to grow unusually tall and were sometimes employed in positions of power due to their perceived trustworthiness and dedication to their roles.
- Eunuchs were often employed as guards in ancient societies. Castration involved removing the testicles, not the penis. This procedure was done to maintain a high-pitched voice and prevent the growth of facial hair. Contrary to common belief, e ...
Counterarguments
- The historical role of eunuchs is complex and varied across different cultures and time periods; they were not solely used as guards but also held various other positions of influence and trust.
- While some eunuchs may have grown unusually tall, this is not a universal outcome of castration, and other factors such as genetics and nutrition could also play significant roles in an individual's height.
- The tendency for eunuchs to gain weight might be influenced by hormonal changes post-castration, but attributing their intimidating presence solely to girth oversimplifies the social and cultural factors that contributed to their roles and perceptions in society.
- The belief that the sun has been replaced by a simulation is not supported by scientific evidence; the sun's brightness can be affected by atmospheric conditions, and there is no credible evidence to suggest that the sun has been replaced.
- Sunflowers not facing the sun could be due to environmental factors such as light pollution or changes in the sun's apparent path due to the time of year, rather tha ...
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Notable crime stories
Deeply disturbing accounts emerge as true crime stories continue to captivate the public, revealing the often-dark underbelly of society.
A murder-for-hire plot
Three sisters from Alabama and Florida were arrested for engaging in a murder-for-hire plot. They had targeted the abusive husband of one of the sister’s daughters, who had subjected her to physical abuse and forced her into sex work.
The sisters attempted to hire a hitman multiple times outside of a courthouse to carry out the assassination. However, their plan fell apart when the person they tried to hire reported them to the police instead of committing the murder.
Henry Zebrowski discussed the inherent difficulties in finding a reputable hitman and emphasized that it's usually a police officer that is encountered in such endeavors. Zebrowski also referenced an incident involving Diddy to underline the pitfalls of engaging with hitmen ...
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Notable crime stories
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Clarifications
- A "mule" in criminal activities typically refers to a person who transports illegal goods or money across borders or within a country, often for organized crime groups. These individuals are used to smuggle drugs, weapons, or other contraband, acting as intermediaries in the criminal supply chain. Mules are often exploited due to their vulnerability or desperation for financial gain, and they face signific ...
Counterarguments
...
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The speakers' personal lives and interests
The speakers, Henry Zebrowski and Ed Larson, share personal anecdotes and discuss their current interests, which include pondering the ownership of a long-lived pet and participating in a UFO convention.
Owning a tortoise
Ed Larson reveals his interest in acquiring a tortoise as a pet after his dog Rambo passes away. He fantasizes about a tortoise that could live up to 120 years, noting both the possible legacy and the consideration of inheritance due to the pet's longevity. Ed is drawn to the friendly personality and behavior of tortoises, even jokingly addressing the implications of his Jewish neighborhood's dietary laws, reassuring that the tortoise wouldn't be eaten.
Henry Zebrowski, on the other hand, expresses skepticism about the practicalities of caring for a creature that could outlive them and requires significant attention. Throughout the discussion, they consider the responsibilities and quirks of feeding and caring for such an animal and humorously muse about a tortoise's survival abilities.
In the end, Ed is still undecided and actively seeks feedback from listeners to either talk him into or out of getting the tortoise, and Zebrowski tries to talk him out of it, highlighting the potential burden of its care in the long term.
Attending a UFO convention
The speakers also share their excitement about participating in the "Contact in the Desert" UFO convention at the Renaissance Esmeralda Resort in Coachella Valley, California. Ed Larson will perform stand-up, an event in which Henry Zebrowski jests about heckling him. Zebrowski will also be a panelist on "a serious look at UFOs," where he expects the audience to gain subs ...
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The speakers' personal lives and interests
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Owning a long-lived pet, like a tortoise, involves considering the pet's lifespan, care requirements, and the implications of its longevity on the owner's life and future plans. The decision to own such a pet can be complex due to the commitment and responsibility it entails, especially when the pet may outlive the owner. The discussion in the text highlights the contrasting perspectives of the speakers on the practicality and challenges of caring for a pet with an extended lifespan. The humor and deliberation around owning a long-lived pet add depth to the conversation about the potential joys and burdens of such a commitment.
- "Contact in the Desert" is an annual UFO conference held in California, known for attracting enthusiasts, researchers, and speakers interested in UFOs and extraterrestrial phenomena. The event typically features panel discussions, lectures, workshops, and activities related to UFO sightings, conspiracy theories, and ancient astronaut theories. Attendees can engage with like-minded individuals, listen to experts in the field, and explore various perspectives on the topic of UFOs. The convention provides a platform for individuals to share experiences, knowledge, and theories surrounding unidentified flying objects and potential extraterrestrial encounters.
- George Knapp and George Noory are well-known figures in the UFO and paranormal community. George Knapp is an investigative journalist known for his work on UFOs and Area 51, while George Noory is a radio host who hosts the popular late-night radio show "Coast to ...
Counterarguments
- Owning a pet with a long lifespan like a tortoise requires a long-term commitment that might not be suitable for everyone, and future owners should consider their ability to provide care over the decades.
- While Ed Larson jokes about the tortoise not being eaten due to dietary laws, it's important to note that the decision to own a pet should be based on the ability to provide proper care and not just cultural or religious compatibility.
- Henry Zebrowski's skepticism about the practicalities of caring for a long-lived pet like a tortoise is valid, as it raises important considerations about pet ownership responsibilities that extend beyond the owner's lifetime.
- Seeking feedback from listeners about getting a pet could result in a wide range of opinions, but the decision should ultimately be based on informed and responsible consideration rather than popular opinion.
- While the excitement for the UFO convention is clear, it's worth noting that such events, while entertaining, may not always present scientifically validated information about UFOs and should be approached with a critical mindset.
- The anticipation of celebrity guests at the UFO convention could overshadow the importance of critical a ...
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