Podcasts > I Will Teach You To Be Rich > 206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

By Ramit Sethi

In this episode of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, a couple shares their story of adapting to major life changes after their son's heart condition diagnosis. The conversation explores how they navigated the transition from a dual-income household earning $265,000 to a single income of $150,000, while managing medical expenses and maintaining their lifestyle through savings.

Ramit Sethi discusses their financial situation, addressing topics such as accepting parental financial support, managing current expenses, and planning for retirement. The episode examines how the couple balances their immediate needs with long-term financial goals, including their potential to build significant retirement savings and opportunities to generate additional income through freelance work.

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

1-Page Summary

Family and Identity Shifts due to Son's Medical Condition

In this podcast episode, hosts Anna and Will share their journey following their son's diagnosis with a severe heart defect. Anna describes how a routine pregnancy scan led to months in the hospital and multiple open-heart surgeries for their son. The experience pushed her into what she calls "survival mode," dramatically affecting both parents' lives and perspectives.

Identity and Career Changes

The medical crisis forced significant changes in Anna and Will's professional lives. Anna transitioned from full-time work to part-time, eventually finding purpose through blogging about her son's condition and supporting others in similar situations. Will adapted his expectations and supported Anna's identity shift, moving away from their previous high-achieving lifestyle.

Financial Management and Adjustments

The couple's financial situation changed considerably, with their annual income dropping from $265,000 to $150,000. While their son's health has stabilized and Anna has begun freelancing, they've been using their savings buffer to maintain their lifestyle. Ramit Sethi, their guest, encourages them to be flexible in their financial planning, particularly regarding childcare expenses and occasional splurges.

Managing Parental Support

Will received a $55,000 gift from his parents, initially struggling with feelings of dependence. Sethi advocates for reframing perspectives on intergenerational wealth transfer, suggesting that accepting financial support from parents can be beneficial, especially when the money is needed most.

Financial Planning and Future Goals

Anna and Will maintain a healthy financial position with a net worth of $714,713 and a monthly income of $15,566. While concerned about retirement goals, Sethi reassures them that their current savings rate could accumulate approximately $3.8 million in 28 years. He suggests keeping their savings liquid for immediate needs rather than aggressive investing, and offers his Earn 1K program to help Anna scale her freelance business for additional income.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can start a side project that aligns with your life changes to find new purpose and potentially create an additional income stream. For example, if you've developed a passion or gained unique experience through personal challenges, consider starting a blog, podcast, or YouTube channel to share your journey and insights. This could lead to monetization opportunities through advertising, sponsorships, or selling related products or services.
  • Create a financial buffer by automating savings and adjusting your budget to reflect life's unpredictable shifts. Set up a separate savings account and establish automatic transfers for a portion of your income. Review and adjust your budget to cut non-essential expenses, ensuring you have funds set aside for unexpected costs or reduced income periods. This practice helps maintain financial stability during transitions.
  • Explore community resources and support networks to help manage new family dynamics and financial constraints. Look for local support groups, online forums, or non-profit organizations that offer resources for families facing similar challenges. Engaging with these communities can provide emotional support, practical advice, and may even uncover opportunities for financial assistance or cost-saving programs.

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

Family and Identity Shifts due to Son's Medical Condition

Anna and Will, the hosts of a podcast, open up about the profound shifts in their family dynamics and personal identities following their son's diagnosis with a severe heart defect.

Podcast Hosts Discuss Family Dynamics Post-Son's Severe Heart Defect

Anna and Will share their personal account of the upheaval in their lives after their son's medical condition came to light.

Anna Recounts Her Life Upheaval After a Routine Pregnancy Scan Led To Months in the Hospital and Multiple Open Heart Surgeries For Her Son

Anna recalls the day she learned of her unborn son’s severe heart defect during an anatomy scan. What followed was a tumultuous period of living with high uncertainty, involving regular checks with cardiologists and surgeons, two open heart surgeries for her son, and approximately three months spent in the hospital. The intense strain impacted every aspect of their lives, from ICU stays to their son's precarious condition even after stabilization.

Hosts Describe the Emotional Toll of Uncertainty and Fear, With Anna Feeling in "Survival Mode."

Anna voices the panic and fear that gripped her as she juggled her son’s medical needs with her career, feeling constantly in "survival mode." Will concurs, stating that although the extreme uncertainty lessened after their son's first year, the continuous fear and concern remain. Ramit Sethi acknowledges the emotional toll and heightened baseline of uncertainty that Anna faces compared to other families, emphasizing that the couple is still coping with the ongoing strain.

Hosts Discuss Identity and Priority Shifts Due to Their Son's Medical Challenges

In the wake of their son's heart condition, Anna and Will grapple with profound changes in their personal identities and priorities.

Anna Balances Motherhood With Her Career-Driven Identity and Ambition

Struggling to maintain her sense of self, Anna returned to work part-time but found it unsustainable due to her son's medical needs. She sought solace and connection through starting a blog about her son’s condition. This new outlet allowed her to process her emotions, support others in similar situations, and engage with chariti ...

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Family and Identity Shifts due to Son's Medical Condition

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal crisis management plan to prepare for unexpected life events. Start by identifying potential crises that could affect your family, such as health issues or job loss. Then, outline steps to take in the immediate aftermath, including who to contact, where to find important documents, and how to manage day-to-day responsibilities. For example, you might designate a family member or friend as your go-to support person and compile a list of emergency contacts and medical information.
  • Develop a flexible career plan that accommodates life's unpredictability. Assess your current job's flexibility and consider alternative career paths or side projects that could provide income while also allowing you to manage personal responsibilities. This might involve taking online courses to gain new skills, exploring freelance work, or even starting a small home-based business that aligns with your interests and can be scaled up or down as needed.
  • Engage in reflective journaling to n ...

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

Navigating Financial Management As a Couple

Anna and Will face stressful financial realities and struggles with their dynamic as they adapt to new roles and reconsider their spending plans.

Financial Changes Experienced After Anna Left Her Job

Anna's departure from her job and their son's medical condition have led to a distressing financial situation for the couple as they've been dipping into their savings.

Anxious About Financial Situation After Using Savings Buffer

Anna and Will discuss their nervousness about finances after the use of their savings buffer. They initially had an annual income of $265,000, which decreased to $150,000. Despite their son's health now being stable and Anna taking up contract work, they didn’t adjust their spending appropriately, such as keeping both children in school, leading to the current strain. They feel they might be behind in their net worth compared to their peers. Ramit assures them that it's sometimes okay to spend more than they make, especially with an emergency fund, and commends their prior planning.

Podcast Hosts Align On Financial Decisions and Conscious Spending Plan

Anna and Will’s different outlooks on their finances come to the fore, with Will maintaining optimism about their financial future, contrasting with Anna’s “Survival mode”.

Debating Paying For Childcare vs. Anna Staying Home, Each Partner Advocates Their Approach

The couple debates whether to pay for childcare, emphasizing the difference in their approaches. Anna feels torn between wanting to be a mother and a professional, while Will argues for the value of continued childcare despite financial pressure. They contemplate the possibility of Anna staying home instead of investing in childcare. Anna recently started freelancing, which might mean increased guilt-free spending for them ...

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Navigating Financial Management As a Couple

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Caller #1 and Caller #2 are individuals who called into the podcast hosted by Ramit Sethi. They are not the hosts themselves but rather participants in the discussion about financial decisions and conscious spending. Caller #1 is Anna, and Caller #2 is Will, as indicated by their roles and perspectives in the conversation. They share their thoughts and seek advice from Ramit on various financial matters affecting their family.
  • Ramit Sethi is a well-known personal finance advisor, author, and entrepreneur. He is known for his best-selling book "I Will Teach You to Be Rich" and his website of the same name, where he provides practical financial advice. Sethi often emphasizes the importance of conscious spending, investing, and building wealth over time through smart financial decisions. He is also a popular speaker and has appeared in various media outlets to share his expertise on money management and personal finance.
  • A 401(k) is a retirement savings account offered by employers in the United States. Employees can contribute a portion of their pre-tax salary to this account, which is then invested in various financial instruments like stocks and bonds. The money in a 401(k) grows tax-deferred until withdrawal during retirement. "401k investment time" typically refers to the duration over which the funds in the 401(k) account are invested before being withdrawn for retirement purposes.
  • The couple, Anna and ...

Counterarguments

  • It may not always be advisable to spend more than one makes, even with an emergency fund, as this could lead to long-term financial instability.
  • Feeling behind in net worth compared to peers can be a subjective and potentially harmful way to measure financial success, as everyone's circumstances are different.
  • While optimism is important, Will's financial optimism must be grounded in realistic planning and budgeting to ensure financial security.
  • The debate over paying for childcare versus Anna staying home is complex and should consider not only immediate financial implications but also long-term career and personal fulfillment for Anna.
  • Freelancing income can be unpredictable, and relying on it for guilt-free spending may not be sustainable without a clear understanding of potential earnings and expenses.
  • Using a gift from parents to pay for childcare might provide short-term relief but could a ...

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

Utilizing and Accepting Financial Support From Parents

A caller named Will discusses his experience with receiving a significant financial gift from his parents, and podcast host Ramit Sethi offers perspectives on intergenerational wealth transfer.

Hosts Discuss $55,000 Gift From Will's Parents, Initially Making Him Uncomfortable

Will received a $55,000 gift from his parents, a decision that initially brought him discomfort due to feelings of dependence. The money, sitting in cash from an insurance product in Will's name, was transferred for use for their children. Despite feeling like a child again, Will acknowledges his parents' desire to give stems from their love for their grandchildren. As Will and his spouse are only children, their kids are the sole focus of four doting grandparents.

Podcast Host Advocates Reframing Perspective on Financial Support and Intergenerational Wealth Building

Podcast host Ramit Sethi addresses Will’s unease with the gift. He suggests a reframe of how one perceives receiving financial support from parents, particularly with regards to building generational wealth. Sethi notes the irony in people's discomfort with accepting money from their own parents while aspiring to provide for their children in the future.

Podcast Host Proposes Discussing With W ...

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Utilizing and Accepting Financial Support From Parents

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Accepting large financial gifts can sometimes undermine an individual's sense of independence and self-efficacy.
  • There may be potential tax implications or financial complexities associated with receiving a large sum of money that should be considered.
  • Intergenerational wealth transfer can perpetuate economic inequality if only a select few families have the means to provide such support.
  • The expectation of financial support from parents could lead to strained family relationships if the giving is not aligned with everyone's expectations or values.
  • Relying on parental support might not be a sustainable financial strategy for all families, as not all parents have the means to give substantial gifts.
  • There could be psychological impacts on the recipients, such as guilt or pressure to use the money in a way that pleases the givers, rather than in the way that is most beneficial for the recipi ...

Actionables

  • You can create a family financial plan that includes potential gifts as part of your children's future. Start by setting up a dedicated savings account for your children where any monetary gifts from family can be deposited. This account can be used for education, healthcare, or other significant expenses in your children's lives, ensuring that the money is allocated in a way that aligns with your family's values and needs.
  • Develop a gratitude practice that involves writing thank-you notes for any financial support received, focusing on the positive impact it has on your family. This practice not only fosters a sense of appreciation but also helps you internalize the benefits of accepting help. For example, after receiving a monetary gift, you could write a note detailing how it will contribute to your child's education fund or enrich their extracurricular activities, reinforcing the positive aspects of the support.
  • Engage in open conversations with your family about financial support, setting clear boundaries and expecta ...

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206. “I quit my job to care for our son, but can we afford it?”

Financial Planning and Future Goals, Including Retirement

In a detailed financial breakdown, podcast host Ramit Sethi eases the concerns of the callers, Anna and Will, and underscores the importance of a flexible financial strategy that caters to present needs while maintaining sight of future goals such as retirement.

Podcast Hosts Disclose Finances: Assets, Investments, Savings, and Debt

During the podcast, Anna and Will provide an intimate overview of their financial situation. Combining their assets, investments, savings, and subtracting their debt, they boast a total net worth of $714,713. They claim an impressive gross monthly income of $15,566, rounding off to $186,000 annually. Anna, as a freelancer, has recently added a substantial $2,983 monthly to the total, which could boost their annual gross income by an additional $36,000.

Even with a high fixed-cost rate of 84%, the two manage to set aside $1,000 a month for a 401(k) and an additional $750 into a Health Savings Account (HSA). Despite some doubt from Will, the couple estimates their retirement savings to be between $3.4 million and $5.6 million. Upon reviewing their calculations, Ramit Sethi points out that their current savings rate could amass approximately $3.8 million in 28 years.

Podcast Host Aids Hosts In Realizing Retirement Savings Are on Track

While there's some concern about hitting a $6 million retirement target, Ramit Sethi provides reassuring insight. Upon assessing their significant savings cushion and yearly investments, plus acknowledging the flexibility within their 401(k), Sethi suggests that their retirement plan is healthier than they presumed. By putting away about $18,000 annually and still managing guilt-free monthly spending, Anna and Will find out they are closer to $200,000 in retirement savings, a figure that exceeds their original belief.

Podcast Host Advocates Flexibility in Financial Planning, Prioritizing Current Needs Over Strict Future Optimization

Sethi advises against aggressively investing savings, emphasizing the potential need for these funds in the near future. Instead of locking away $50,000 into investments, he suggests maintaining it in a savings account to manage impending childcare costs. The concept of a "rich life," according to Sethi, isn't solely bound by accumulating wealth; rather, it’s also about using money to improve one's current quality of life. Sethi advocates a balanced approach to finances that recognizes the present's needs without compromising the future.

Host Suggests Ways For Anna to Boost Freelance Income For Retirement Savings

As the conversation shifts towards augmenting income, Sethi presents Anna with a strategy via his Earn 1K program, which aims to help diversify income streams and scale her freelance business. Given her recent $35,000 project victory, there is evident potential for growth. Anna’s excitement at the prospect of boosting her income is palpable, reaffirming her identity and contributing to their retirement goals.

Podcast Host Offers Program to Help Anna Earn 1k and Scale Her Freelance Business

Sethi offers concrete steps to elev ...

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Financial Planning and Future Goals, Including Retirement

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Net worth is the total value of assets minus liabilities. Gross monthly income is the total income before deductions. A 401(k) is a retirement savings plan sponsored by an employer. An HSA is a Health Savings Account used for medical expenses. Retirement savings calculations involve estimating how much money one needs to save for retirement based on factors like income, expenses, and investment returns.
  • Ramit Sethi's Earn 1K program is designed to help individuals boost their freelance income by providing strategies to diversify income streams, attract more clients, set appropriate pricing for services, and scale up their businesses effectively. The program aims to empower freelancers to increase their earnings and achieve their financial goals through actionable steps and personalized guidance. By leveraging past successes and implementing Sethi's recommendations, participants like Anna can potentially see significant growth in their freelance businesses and overall financial trajectory. Sethi's approach emphasizes practical tactics and mindset shifts to help individuals take control of their financial future and work towards a more fulfilling and prosperous life.
  • The concept of a "rich life" in the context of financial planning emphasizes using money not just to accumulate wealth but also to enhance one's current quality of life. It involves balancing present needs with future financial goals, focusing on personal fulfillment beyond material wealth. "Rich life" encourages individuals to define success on their terms, considering factors like daily joy, family harmony, self-care, and community engagement. It underscores the importance of aligning financial decisions with one's values and aspirations to lead a fulfilling and contented life.
  • Therapy in th ...

Counterarguments

  • While Sethi emphasizes flexibility in financial planning, some financial experts might argue that a more structured and disciplined approach could be necessary for certain individuals to achieve their financial goals, especially if they have a history of poor financial management.
  • The projected retirement savings of $3.4 million to $5.6 million may not account for potential changes in the economy, such as inflation or market downturns, which could significantly impact the actual value of their retirement funds.
  • The advice to keep $50,000 in a savings account for childcare costs may not be the most financially efficient approach, as some financial advisors might suggest investing a portion in low-risk assets to potentially earn more than the nominal interest rates offered by savings accounts.
  • The Earn 1K program is presented as a solution for Anna to boost her freelance income, but it's important to acknowledge that not all business advice programs work for everyone, and the success of such programs can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and market conditions.
  • Defining a "rich life" without comparison to others is a subjective process, and while it's a positive approach, some individuals may find comparisons to be a motivating factor in their financial planning and goal setting.
  • The suggestion to seek therapy to navigate financial decisions is a holistic approach, but it may not be necessary or appe ...

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